“Absolutely not.”
“It’s Gray’s kid too.”
“And Gray left.”
“He might not have if he knew the circumstances. It changes everything.”
“It was for the best,” Jax says firmly, and his stomach roils over with another bout of nausea as if his body is punishing him for the obvious lie.
“You are the most stubborn person I have ever met.”
“I can’t believe you are saying that to me considering you have to look yourself in the mirror every morning.”
“Very funny,” Adam says.
Jax just rolls his yes. He can’t be bothered to have this argument again. They’ve gone over it a thousand times. If there’s one thing worse than being some alpha’s pet omega, it’s being mated to an alpha who’s only there because he has to do the ‘right thing’.
“It’s not fair to him,” Adam says plaintively, and Jax knows what he’s thinking. He’s thinking it wouldn’t be fair if it were him. He’s seeing it from the alpha’s point of view not the omega’s.
Jax loves all three of his brothers but he does wish they’d stop being such big idiot alphas sometimes and see the other side of the coin. It’s not like he doesn’t lay it out for them over and over again.
“I said no,” Jax says firmly, and when Adam opens his mouth to keep arguing, he continues. “Seriously, I will kick you out of my office. This is my decision.”
Adam throws up his hands in defeat. He opens his mouth, closes it, shuffles his feet and coughs.
“What?”
Adam grimaces. “I do have some other news for you.”
“Okay?” Jax asks. The queasiness is starting to rise again and he’s not in a good mood.
“Ash is back. Nothing’s happened yet, but Gregor’s picked up his scent around the town. The Warwicks have too. I’m speculating Ronmin or one of his cronies has done something to rile him up or trespassed on his territory.” Adam crosses his legs and rubs a hand against his injured hip. Jax wonders if he even knows he’s doing it. “I dunno. It’s all a guess. I have no idea how his mind works.” He barks out a laugh suddenly. “And I remember when I thought Isaiah was unpredictable.”
If Gray were here, we could ask him, Jax thinks. If Gray were here, I could kiss him.
Of course, only the first option would benefit everyone. The second would only benefit Jax.
Adam gets to his feet, leaning heavily on the chair as he does it. “I’ll let you know how it goes. Good luck with whatever that is,” he says nodding at the grant application. “You’re going to have to tell me what it’s about, but I’m glad you’re thinking beyond all this mess.”
He’s gone before Jax has a chance to respond.
Jax looks down at the paperwork, but he’s lost the thread now. All his logical planning and carefully researched proposals turn to a blur in his head.
It’s a mess. Everything is a mess. His job. His body. Ronmin and his stupid power plays. Jax’s pack. Hell, all the packs. Gray.
Most of all, it’s Gray. Everything about Gray is a big damn mess. Jax suppresses the urge to scream like a banshee. If he were alone somewhere, he’d even do it, just let out all the frustration until his throat is sore.
He grits his teeth. Not in the office.
But he does need to get out. If he sits here, feeling helpless and sorry for himself for another minute, he is going to scream. That’s when they’ll all sympathize and treat him like a dumb pregnant omega and that will just make him want to scream even harder.
He needs to run. He’s been avoiding it since the incident with the ash-scented wolf outside the clinic. Exercise has had to wait until after the mating run, until after Ash was gone, until after it was safe.
It’s always after.
Jax stands up and digs out his spare running gear from the bottom drawer of his desk. He puts it on, feeling calmer already.
He slips out the back way. Everybody has been so nice recently, it’s annoying. He’s not in the mood to make small talk with people who are going to simper at him and pat his stomach.
The air outside is cool against his skin. He takes off with a vengeance, purposely forcing his muscles as fast as he can go.
To hell with warming up. He is going to race.
Before long, his calves are burning, as are his lungs. His heart thumps in his chest.
He takes a left on the road outside the clinic, the quickest route into the forest. It’s late afternoon and the world smells heavenly: all fresh air, leaves and soil.
He stops only when he gets to a public changing hut on the edge of the forest, and then he doubles over breathing heavily.
The forest beckons. He hasn’t shifted in months. It’s long overdue. Just like the run.
He strips off quickly and stuffs his clothes into one of the cubbyholes in the change hut, not bothering to even fold them. He stacks his shoes on top, and shifts quickly before he has the chance to rethink it.
Scents come crashing in, even as his vision dims and his ears pick up every rustle of every small creature in fifty yards.
The forest is his favorite scent, or combination of it. Even after so many weeks, he can still pick up the residual scents of the mating run although they’re diminishing fast.
The water in the river ahead is thinning. They haven’t had rain in weeks and Jax can smell it in the way the river mud has dried and attracted insects that buzz around the edges.
This is how Gray used to live, Jax thinks. He wonders if he’s got the cast off yet and if he’s shifted. Maybe he’s shifted and stayed that way, gone somewhere out of reach of the Remus Group, Jax and everyone else.
It’s what Jax would do if he were Gray. He couldn’t imagine how he’d feel if one of his brothers tried to kill him. And for no good reason at all.
This is Ash’s fault.
As if summoned, the scent of burned wood drifts in on the wind. Jax freezes, feeling his fur flatten in fear. The scent doesn’t increase. Jax sniffs cautiously. Ash is still miles away.
Ash.
White-cold fear turns to white-hot anger in a flash. Ash. Ash is the reason Gray was hurt. Ash is the reason that Ronmin is here. Ash is probably the reason Gray left.
Ash is the reason behind every single one of Jax’s problems.
It’s long past time he and Jax had a word.
Jax races again, this time on four legs, not two. And this time with a destination in mind. This needs to come to an end, one way or the other.
GRAY
finding a place
Gray watches his uncle eat and thinks that you never lose some habits no matter how much time has passed.
It’s something Gray remembers him doing in the mountain days when George was just the silver-furred wolf on the edges of the pack. He’d forgotten until now. His father used to do it too.
When George and Isaiah were pups, there had been a drought. They both ate as if the food was about to be snatched out from under them at any moment.
George nods at the newspaper on the table between them. “You find a place yet?” He spits out bits of bread as he eats. That is supposed to be rude, Gray has heard, but he doesn’t mind. It’s nice to have family. Even the silver-furred wolf.
“Yes, I think so.” Gray has spent the last few weeks viewing apartments. He’s learned enough writing to find the right advertisement and use his phone to call the number.
He’s got all the human accessories now thanks to the Remus Group: clothes, a job, a phone, a bank account. A year ago, he wouldn’t even have been able to comprehend of the concept of a bank account, and now he has a plastic card with his name on: Gray Remus.
All the wolves take the same surname. Shirley asked Gray if he wanted a different one, but he didn’t see the point.
He’s wearing proper human clothes too, not just the soft tracksuit bottoms and t-shirts he started with.
He has a suit with a jacket and even a tie, and Gray has discovered that the smarter you dress as a human, the more uncomfor
table you are.
The shoes are even worse. His feet and toes can’t feel anything other than hardness underneath them. It’s still weird having a layer between him and the ground.
“You ready to move on then?” George asks.
“Yes, I think so.”
“Not still pining over that omega, then?”
“No, uncle,” Gray lies. Jax is none of George’s business. For the last months, Jax has been a bitter-sweet memory he keeps tucked away in the corner of his mind, to be taken out and thought about in quiet, private moments.
The therapist made him talk about him. Gray didn’t like that. He went in the end to make Shirley happy, and it helped, but she didn’t understand about Jax.
“You need to find your place,” she said. “You thought you knew it but you didn’t. That’s hard. You need to find a job you like, someone you love, and a place you want to be.”
“I had someone I loved,” Gray had replied.
“The first few days outside your pack were always going to be hardest. You should try online dating. It’ll help.”
Gray tucked that advice away in the back of his head with all the other things he doesn’t want to try.
He reaches for his mug of tea and drains the last of it. He’s experimented and found his perfect type. The mug clinks when he puts it back down again.
“I’m all packed. Not that there’s much.”
George glances towards the door to where Gray’s suitcase has been sitting since last night. “Sorry to kick you out, boy, but you couldn’t stay on my couch forever.”
“I know, uncle.”
“Call me when you get settled. I might have some spare things I can scrounge up. Make your new place feel like home.”
“I’d appreciate that.”
Gray pushes the chair back and grabs his suitcase from the door. The new apartment is on the other side of town, near the park and close to a different library. It’s a walk to work and is in a quiet block. It’s perfect.
He takes the elevator down to the ground and walks, suitcase rolling behind him, bumping against the uneven sidewalk.
He balances it between his knees on the bus so it doesn’t fall over. Gray watches out of the window as the stop by his new place gets closer. The city smells familiar now, and he really likes the park.
The bus stops and Gray squeezes his knees together to stop the suitcase from falling over.
The bus starts up again, and Gray stays sitting. He doesn’t get up until the bus gets all the way back to the depot, and he can get on the long-haul coach to Aylewood.
JAX
aching muscles and snarling alphas
By the time Jax stops running, his muscles are aching with effort and the sun has started to dip. He’s panting hard.
Ash’s scent has kept shifting. One moment, he’s right ahead. Then his scent is gone, and when Jax picks it up again, it’s far ahead.
It doesn’t help that Ash’s isn’t the only scent on the mountain. His nose keeps picking up the residual scents of alphas, as well as those of Ronmin and his men. It’s distracting.
Their presence is a little worrying, but Jax brushes it off. He’s got some words for them too. Besides, Jax grew up in these mountains. He knows the territory better than they do.
He finally catches up to Ash near the cabin that the Winterstokes keep for heats. The cabin is set in a small clearing in the middle of the trees and it stinks of strangers. It’s broken into more often than not during the mating run, and by the scent of it, someone or a good deal of someones found it early on in the run.
The door is open and the scent of spoiled food spills out. Jax feels himself grimace. It’s one thing to break in, but he’s never understood why they need to leave such as mess.
He trots up closer, nose to the ground. Ash was here seconds ago, and he went...
Jax’s head shoots up and stares to the left.
It’s the first time he’s seen Ash properly, even though he has been scenting him for weeks.
He’s an enormous wolf, gray-furred and muscular. His eyes are a brilliant blue, the color of the summer sky. They’re focused intently on Jax.
Jax feels a fission of fear trickle through his aching muscles.
The big wolf pads over and sits on his haunches in front of Jax, head cocked. Closer, there’s a hint of confusion in the bright blue eyes.
He seems tired. He’s panting hard and he moves his limbs slowly as if they’re far too heavy.
Shift. Explain. Tell the big lug to back off and go back up the mountain. It’s easier said than done. The thought of being suddenly naked and exposed in front of the teeth that have been biting into omegas for the last couple of months is utterly terrifying.
But he can’t just do nothing and sit here, staring at him like it means something. Come on. Do it. Talk to him.
Ash moves first, but he does it slowly. He approaches slowly, sniffing.
Jax stays completely still, frozen to the spot. Ash snuffles closer, his nose close to Jax’s neck then down further, towards his belly.
Jax keeps still, muscles trembling as Ash scents the pup inside.
Does he know? Can he scent it? Does he know that this pup is as much Gray’s as it is Jax’s? And will it make any difference or just make it worse.
Shift. Do it. Talk to him. Ask him why he’s been avoiding you for the last hour. Jax resolves to do it as soon as Ash’s teeth are at a safe space from his exposed stomach. It’s only sensible.
Ash withdraws on soft paws, eyes still fixed on Jax. There’s curiosity in his eyes but no antagonism. Jax stares.
He doesn’t feel in any danger. Whatever compelled Ash to attack Cole Bennett appears to have disappeared completely.
It doesn’t matter. Ash still needs to go.
Jax shifts quickly and stands fast. His body turns from panting wolf to sweating man in an instant.
“You need to—” Jax begins. Go back up the mountain was what he was going to say.
Instead, new scents come in on the wind and from different directions. All are familiar and the last thing Jax wants to scent right now.
A large wolf emerges from the forest. Jax’s stomach sinks hard, and he swallows as he sees Ronmin in wolf form for the first time.
The newly arrived wolf isn’t paying any attention to him, however. His eyes are fixed on the wild wolf. His hackles have risen, fur spiked above his heavy shoulders, teeth bared.
Jax looks from them to Ash. The wild wolf is bent, muscles bunched as if ready to spring.
Jax takes a step back without thinking. Between two snarling alphas is not a place for a pregnant omega to be.
Ash launches, faster than Jax could ever have thought possible, but not towards Ronmin. He races, paws blurring, directly towards the trees.
He shudders to a halt, just as quickly, as another wolf emerges directly in front of him: one of Ronmin’s muscle.
Ash turns on his tail, just as the second of Ronmin’s wolves shows themselves from the opposite direction.
That’s when Jax realizes how badly he got this wrong. Ash was never running from Jax. He was doing his best to flee the city wolves as they box him in like a deer.
And Jax provided them with the distraction they needed.
It’s not fair, and he wants to take it back but he’s nothing but a naked omega in the middle of a pack of snarling alphas. There’s absolutely nothing he can do.
He shifts back into wolf form and backtracks. He can’t do anything here except run away and fetch his brothers. Humiliation flows through him.
This is what he always does. Run away and get alphas to help.
The sound of snarling stops him in his tracks. One of Ronmin’s wolves is blocking his path.
He retreats again, belly low, and tries another way. This time it’s Ronmin himself who steps into his way.
Ronmin steps closer, as does the other wolf. Out of the corner of his eye, Jax sees the third wolf keeping Ash close by while the other two herd Jax towards the
cabin.
So be it, then. Jax turns tail and runs. He shifts the instant he reaches the door, turns and slams it behind him, pushing the deadbolt closed.
He hears Ronmin huff in amusement, then the sound of heavy paws descending.
First thing he needs to do is find the spare phone they’ve started keeping in the kitchen and hope like hell it has some charge left. Jax bolts across the room and into the kitchen where the cupboards have been ransacked. Dirty cans cover the floor.
He rummages in the drawer by the door and pulls out the phone, victorious. It’s an ancient Nokia, old enough that it still has push buttons but the signal on it has always been good and its battery life is phenomenal.
He pushes the button on the top to turn it on and the screen lights up in response. Relief floods through him.
He rushes through the cabin closing the windows and making sure the locks are in place while he waits for it to boot up.
There’s very little sound from outside. That makes it worse. He has no idea what’s happening.
He takes the phone into the bathroom and shuts the door. It’s the only room in the cabin with a window too small to climb through easily, and the door locks.
He rings Adam’s number, and pushes the cabinet against the door while he waits for it to ring.
It won’t hold off anyone determined and not for long, but he’s going to do whatever he can.
The phone goes to voicemail. Voicemail. Shit. He leaves the shortest voice message he can, but before he can dial again, the screen goes dark and the phone turns itself off.
He grabs a towel from the rail and wraps himself in it. Just plain vulnerable is better than naked and vulnerable, although not by much.
He sinks down and leans against the cabinet by the door. He cocks his head and listens. There’s sound now coming from outside, growls and yelps.
Finally, there’s a long high-pitched scream that sends shudders through his body. Jax leans back harder against the cabinet, pushing his feet against the floor as if that’s going to make any difference whatsoever.
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