by A. J. Wynter
Maddie had known that Olivia lost her virginity without even asking her. The morning she returned home from the rally Maddie took one look at her and asked, “Everything you expected?”
Olivia had smiled and her face flushed red. “And more,” she said before giggling and collapsing onto the couch with her sister.
They had sat together for hours, talking and giggling about Blaine, and Nate – the guy that Maddie was currently fending off. When Olivia had told Maddie about her decision to tour with Cull the Unfaithful she was furious and told her she was making the worst decision of her life. That is until Olivia told her that she was going on tour with the band, whether or not Blaine came along as security detail.
Which he didn’t.
When Maddie found out that Olivia was making the decision based on her newfound passion for playing live music, and not her newfound passion for a certain biker bad boy, she was not only on board, but proud of her sister.
Now, Olivia looked out in the front row and saw Maddie and her dad, screaming with their arms in the air.
She was incredibly sad that Blaine had refused to go on the road with her. When she found out about the offer from the band, she instinctively knew that it was the right move for her – and for Blaine. Getting him out on the road would protect him from the escalating violence of the club and playing live music to rowdy crowds made her feel more alive than she had in her life.
When she finally got the nerve up to tell Blaine he had freaked out. She knew that he wanted the best for her, but the best thing for her had changed since she met him. He forbade her from going and told her that he wouldn’t go with her. She called his bluff and went anyway. She thought that he might change his mind when she left town, but he was a stubborn bastard and resolute in his ways.
With or without him, going on tour was the best decision she could have made.
She stood up for the final bow, the rush from playing in front of the crowd still coursing through her veins. She made her way to her dressing room, excited to see her dad and Maddie. This was the closest stadium show to Torver and she had been looking forward to seeing them for months.
She hadn’t forgotten about Blaine and refused advances from men after every show. She had been tempted to fuck someone else, just to get her mind off the bastard, to let someone do the things to her that they had never gotten to do; but she knew that she had to care about someone to fuck them or it wouldn’t feel right for her. She left a backstage pass at the gate of every show with Blaine’s name on it, but the passes all remained unclaimed and her texts went unanswered. She was torn up inside that she had lost him but hadn’t given up hope.
She knew that he wasn’t dead. After the first month of unanswered messages she freaked out and called Zeb. He assured her that Blaine was alive and well, and that he would let her know if something happened to him. He also told her that if Blaine wanted to get in touch with her, he would. Olivia hadn’t been able to hold back her tears and she knew that Zeb heard her choke them back. “He’s a fucking idiot, if you ask me. A fucking stubborn idiot.” That was the last time that Olivia had reached out to anyone in the club.
She eased onto the couch in her dressing room and kicked off her thigh high boots. The shows had gotten a lot easier on her feet once she started playing more cello sets. She blotted her sweaty face with a towel, she still hadn’t gotten used to the blazing hot temperature on stage. Her skimpy outfits had a new practicality and she didn’t resist when the costume designer pulled out barely-there costumes for her to wear. Her only stipulation, no leather. First of all, it got sweaty as hell, secondly, it reminded her of Lizzie, who was probably in Blaine’s bed every night. She sighed and tried to chase the image of the slut out of her mind. If she had followed Blaine’s orders, it would’ve been her in his bed. She decided that she wasn’t going to be the kind of girl to follow any man’s orders. Her new empowered attitude cost her the man that she loved, but it gave her a life that she never dreamed possible.
Her thoughts of Lizzie’s crimson lips all over Blaine were thankfully interrupted by a knock on the door. She jumped up, brushed her sweaty hair off her face and bounded to the door in her bare feet. She was excited to see Maddie and grabbed a handful of chocolates from the bowl by the door. She had requested Maddie’s favorite chocolates in her rider for this particular show. She hurled open the door and then stepped back in shock. She gasped, the chocolates dropping from her hand and scattering along the concrete floor.
CHAPTER THIRTY-SIX – BLAINE
Blaine shared a joint with Skinny at the clubhouse, anxious to hear about Olivia’s orchestra audition.
He inhaled and smiled as he thought about his morning with Olivia. She had rolled out of bed and played the cello in the nude. He’d never seen anything sexier than his rumple haired woman with her legs spread wide around her instrument, her pert breasts swaying with her music as she played. He felt like he could lie in bed for hours listening and watching her.
She was becoming an adventurous kitten, and he felt like she was well on her way to becoming a full-on tigress in the sack. He liked her innocence and her genuine way of making love. If he was being true to himself, he also loved the fact that he was the only man to have ever been inside of her. He loved the way that she squeezed her eyes tightly when she came, her cherry lips parted with her moans.
“Pass me that wrench,” he said to Skinny.
Skinny passed him the wrench and he set to work removing the bolts from his bike. For October, it was a scorching hot day, and he wiped his brow with his bandana. He took a swig from his beer and felt a pair of hands on his shoulder. He froze, instinctively, and wished that he hadn’t left his gun on the picnic table. Then he noticed that the hands were slight and tender, and when he felt Olivia’s breath on his neck, he relaxed. She kissed him and draped her arms around his shoulders.
“What are you doing?”
“Just a little maintenance,” Blaine said, and started to show her how the brakes worked, until he realized that she had returned from her audition.
“So. How did it go? Are you in? They loved you, didn’t they!” He grabbed her hand.
“It was. Um. Ok,” Olivia stammered.
“Just ok?”
Olivia sighed and sat down beside Blaine on the ground.
“I didn’t go to the audition.”
“What?!” Blaine exclaimed and felt confused. “What do you mean, you didn’t go?”
“I need to tell you something.”
“This better be good,” Blaine said. He stood up and reached down to help Olivia off the ground. “Here.” He pulled out an aluminum chair for her to sit on. He straddled the picnic table bench.
“I went to firm up my contract with Johnny. We’re going on tour!” She tried to remain calm, but excitement had overtaken her and crept into her voice.
“Excuse me?” Blaine set the wrench down on the table.
“I thought about it long and hard, B. It’s going to be good for both of us. Baby, when I was onstage at the rally it was the best day of my life. Now I get to do it over and over again. And you. You can be safe now. And we can be together and travel the world!” Olivia spoke in rapid-fire.
Blaine pulled his hand away from Olivia’s. “You worked your whole life to get that audition, and you just blew it off for a metal band?”
“I didn’t just blow it off. I put a lot of thought into this decision.”
“After I told you not to.” Blaine stood up and paced the pavement in front of Olivia.
“I thought it would be best for both…”
Blaine interrupted her. “You don’t think for me. And I told you not to go. You need to get back in your car and go to that audition. I forbid you from going on tour with that band.”
“You forbid me?” Olivia asked, her eyes wide.
“You need to listen to me if you’re going to be my old lady,” Blaine said forcefully.
“I need to listen to you?” Olivia asked, incredulously.
> “I can’t believe you. I can’t believe that you lied to me.”
“I didn’t lie to you Blaine,” Olivia said softly.
“This morning, after I fucked your brains out, you told me you were going to your audition. Now, I hear that you were off meeting up with Johnny, going behind my back.
Blaine couldn’t believe the audacity of the girl. He knew that she was young and in love with him, but he didn’t want her throwing her life away. He also didn’t want a wild card woman, off doing whatever she pleased and making decisions on his behalf.
“So, you’re not going to come with me?” Olivia whispered.
“Fuck no,” Blaine said, his voice cold.
“Suit yourself,” Olivia said. “I’m going anyway and there’s nothing you can say about it.”
Olivia turned and walked away. Blaine could tell that she was crying, but he was so full of anger he didn’t do anything but watch her walk away.
When she turned to face him, he could see the tears streaming down her face, and it wrenched his heart. He knew that he should say something reassuring, be the good guy, but he couldn’t bring himself to do it. He did what he did best, and pushed her away.
“Go. Go on the road and fuck your way across the country. I don’t give a shit. Get the fuck out of here, you little whore,” he shouted down the laneway and dismissed her with a flick of his hand.
He saw the pain in her eyes and wanted nothing more than to go back in time thirty seconds to take his harsh words back.
Olivia turned on her heel and ran down the laneway. He heard her little car start up and screech away out of his life.
CHAPTER THIRTY-SEVEN – OLIVIA
“Hi,” Olivia managed to gasp.
“Hi,” Blaine replied. He stood still.
Olivia looked him up and down and noticed the backstage pass slung around his muscular neck. He seemed nervous. “You were amazing out there,” he whispered.
“Thanks,” Olivia said. Over Blaine’s shoulder, she saw her dad and Maddie turn the corner down the stadium hallway. When Maddie saw Blaine, she grabbed her dad’s hand and pulled him back around the corner.
“I was so wrong.” Blaine leaned his arm on the doorway and hung his head. “So wrong.”
“Which asshole act are you referencing?”
“Trying to control you. I should’ve trusted that you were making the best decision for you. I just didn’t want to see you waste your life making decisions that revolved around me.”
Olivia didn’t know what to say. She had been furious with Blaine when he told her that she couldn’t go on the road with Cull the Unfaithful.
“You were wrong. I wasn’t making the decision based on you. Or even me. I was making it based on us,” Olivia said stoically.
“I should’ve seen that Olivia. I want to apologize to you in person for being such an asshole. You’re a strong woman and I’ve never met anyone like you before. And, um. I guess that’s all.” He started to back away.
“And you’re leaving?” Olivia asked, exasperated.
“You’re on top of the world Olivia. What would you want with me?”
Olivia felt a little bit of her anger start to melt away. Blaine had allowed himself to be vulnerable in front of her, something that she knew went against every fibre of his being. Her heart skipped a beat as she realized how tough it must have been for him to admit that he was wrong, but instead of leaping into his arms, she took a deep breath and steeled her eyes on him.
“I loved you,” she said, maintaining her composure.
“I love you Liv. I loved you back in the cabin and I love you now,” he said. I fell in love with you the first time I saw you play. “I want to be there for you, to protect you, to be your everything.”
“Why now?” She crossed her arms in front of her as the rush of hurt washed over her as she remembered the unanswered calls, the ignored text messages, the pity in the box office attendant’s eyes when they handed the unclaimed pass back to her.
“What can I do to prove to you how serious I am?” He reached out to grasp her hand. Olivia felt the electricity that passed between their fingertips and let her hand linger in his before snatching it back and placing it on her hip.
“Nothing,” Olivia said, fighting with her tears. She didn’t need Blaine, and she couldn’t go through the ache of being heartbroken again.
She took a deep breath, and when she looked up at Blaine she saw his eyes brimming with tears. It was too much, and it cracked her façade, she allowed a single tear to fall down her cheek.
Blaine brushed his tears away and stared at the ceiling as he took a deep breath.
“I’m a fucking asshole Olivia. It’s the way I grew up. It’s who I am, it’s who I was - until the day that I met you. You made me want to be a better person. You made me realize that there are people in this world who are good, people who will give dirt bags like me a chance. But, it’s hard to let go of what you know. It took losing you to realize that I want something different for my life.”
“That’s all very poetic, Blaine. But it’s been months and I haven’t heard from you.”
“Olivia. I’m a man and we’re stupid. Remember that. I thought that I could forget about you. But your face was the first thing I saw when I woke up, and the last thing I saw before I fell asleep. I tried to forget about you. I really did, but there was something in me that couldn’t let you go.”
Olivia knew that Blaine was telling the truth, she could feel it. She wanted to reach out to him, to pull him in close, kiss his neck and feel his hands around her waist, but instead of taking a step toward him, she took a step back.
“I’m not one of your club girls. I’m not going to fall at your feet and thank my lucky stars that YOU’VE decided that you’re ready to be with me,” her voice quivered as she yelled at him. She pushed at his chest, catching him off guard. He took two steps back and Olivia slammed the door in his face.
CHAPTER THIRTY-EIGHT – BLAINE
He knew that it was risky, and that there was the strong possibility that Liv would tell him to go to hell. And that’s exactly what she did. He deserved it, he knew that. But, he also knew that they were meant to be together. She was the best thing that had ever happened to him and he wasn’t going to let her go without a fight.
He stood staring at the dressing room door that had just been slammed in his face. In spite of the hurt that he was feeling, he felt proud of how the once meek Olivia had stood up for herself.
And fuck, she looked good.
He would give anything to pull her in close and kiss her sweet soft lips one more time. He couldn’t just walk away from a girl like that.
Just as he raised his hand to knock on her door again, it opened.
“There’s something that you can do for me,” Olivia said.
Blaine looked at her quizzically as she dragged him down the hallway by his hand.
Maddie and her dad were milling around by the crew’s snack table.
“Liv!” Her dad exclaimed, he set down his plate of crustless sandwiches and rushed to give her a big hug. “You were so good out there! That last set, with the cello, wow!”
“Thanks dad. I know that it’s not really your kind of music.”
“Are you kidding me? I’m your new biggest fan!” He pulled back his jean shirt to reveal a Cull the Unfaithful t-shirt. “Oh, and Steve wants to know if you’re going to be too big to play with the old fart band when you come home to visit.
Olivia laughed. “Is that their official name now?”
Maddie hugged Olivia, “It was so weird, I knew that I was looking at you, but it didn’t seem like you up there.”
“It’s who I am now,” Olivia said.
“I know,” Maddie replied. “And you’re incredible, kiddo.”
Maddie turned her attention to Blaine who had been standing silently beside Olivia. “Hi Blaine. You finally came around?”
Their dad looked to both Maddie and Olivia, and then at the huge tattooed man standi
ng beside his youngest daughter, confused.
“Blaine, this is Neil, my dad. Dad, this is Blaine…my er, um…” Olivia’s voice trailed off. She didn’t know how to explain who he was.
“Boyfriend.” Blaine reached out to shake Neil’s hand. “That is, if I have your approval to date your daughter.”
“Woah, man. You’re too young to be that old fashioned.” Neil smiled. “And while I appreciate the sentiment, you know that you’ve got an incredibly smart young lady on your arm. She makes better decisions for herself than I ever could.”
“I know that now.” Blaine took Olivia’s hand in his.
Olivia felt a rush of warmth surge through her body. This man wasn’t perfect, he was far from it, but he was hers.
“Do you two want to go get a drink?” Neil asked.
Maddie interrupted, “Liv, didn’t you tell me that you had a lot of band stuff to do after the show?”
Olivia smiled at her sister, their bond had only grown stronger in the past few months, and Maddie seemed to be able to read Olivia’s mind.
“Actually, yes. Dad. Blaine has a security debrief and I have a band meeting.”
Neil picked up his tray of sandwiches. “I understand. You do your thing Liv.” He embraced his daughter and kissed her on the forehead, “I’m so proud of you.”
“Thanks dad,” Olivia replied, and tears welled up in her eyes.
“Bye Liv,” Maddie said. “I’ll bring all of my Pi Omega Tal sorority girls to the show when you’re in Ames. She grabbed Olivia into a huge bear hug, “Have fun,” she said and when she pulled away she winked at Blaine.
Olivia slid her arm around Blaine’s waist, in response he slung his arm over her shoulder and kissed her on the top of her head.
