“To accomplish this, it’ll be necessary for others to see me in a corporeal form. This doesn’t mean that all should know I possess intelligence beyond the bird form they see, or that my true purpose is to guard Bean. Once we depart on our journey to Kinah, it will no longer matter. Until then, it is best not to draw unwanted attention.”
Faron nodded slowly, his heart twisting painfully in his chest at Iffon’s words. It was bad enough that Vari and Ria were so far away and in such danger. Knowing that their youngest daughter’s life would soon be at risk as well was not easy to hear, let alone accept.
“Outside of this group, we will not speak of you, Iffon, if that is your wish,” he said reluctantly.
Iffon’s head turned sideways so that he could see all of Bean’s fathers at once. “I appreciate that, Lord Faron, but do not fret. Your Dracon Princes will be told quite soon.”
Faron was relieved by that. He did not like keeping secrets from his Princes. Besides, if anyone could tell him what Iffon was, and whether or not he was a danger to Bean, it would be Garen, Trey, and Val. “Anyone else?”
“No one else in this time and place,” Iffon replied. “Some will be told more truth than others as it becomes necessary over the coming weeks. Until we depart.”
“We understand, and will keep your secrets,” Faron shifted his gaze to Saige, who offered him a small smile.
“His heart is pure,” Saige said.
Faron nodded, fighting to hide the depth of his relief. “We must leave now, I’m afraid,” he said regretfully. “Perhaps we can talk later, Iffon.”
“As you wish, Lord Faron.”
Faron, Dav, and Ban said their goodbyes, then speed traveled away. Bean released a long, slow breath of relief, then turned to her mother. The look on Saige’s face told Bean what was coming, so she spoke before her mother had to ask.
“I’m telekinetic, but I haven’t used it since shortly after I turned six, and even then, not deliberately.”
“Telekinetic,” Saige said thoughtfully. “Moving stuff around, that sort of thing?”
“Yeah,” Bean said softly, crossing her arms tightly. Saige understood the body language and framed her next question carefully.
“Would you like to tell me why you don’t use it, or do you need more time for that?”
“Iffon?”
“You need to tell her Bean. It’ll be all right.”
“Now’s fine,” Bean said. “The other day I told you that I thought I was supposed to always be happy, that it was my role in the family.”
“Hmm,” Saige hummed gently in the affirmative, not wanting to do or say anything to cause her daughter to change her mind about sharing this time.
“There’s more to the story though.” Saige hummed again, giving no sign of the sudden increase in her own tension.
“After I made that decision I worked at it for a long time, but it was so hard,” Bean continued. “After a while, I started to let emotions through without trying to stop them. Not always. Just sometimes. Then, right after I turned six, I discovered that whenever I got angry or frustrated, bad things would happen.”
“Bad things?”
“Dishes would break. Doors slammed. Pictures fell off the walls. Things like that.
“I had no idea what was happening at first, but Iffon figured it out and told me. I tried to make it stop, to control it, but nothing worked. And it kept getting worse and worse. It terrified me.”
“I can understand why it would scare you, but why didn’t you tell us?”
“It didn’t scare me, Mom,” Bean said, turning to look her in the eye. “It terrified me.”
Saige frowned. “Why?”
“What if I got mad and the house exploded, or the roof caved in? What if I got frustrated and the ground car ran out of control and went over a cliff or ran into a tree?” Bean swallowed hard, then whispered, “What if I did something that killed my whole family?”
Saige’s eyes widened. “Oh, baby, I’m so sorry,” she said hoarsely. “I wish you’d told us. We could have helped.”
“I wish I had too, Mom. But I’d just turned six. Vari lived alone on the hill because she could read minds, but she wasn’t dangerous. I reasoned that my ability to destroy everything around me, or even kill my family, meant I’d be sent far away to a place where there were no people for me to hurt. And I’d have to live there alone. Forever.”
“What did you do?” Saige asked softly, already knowing the answer.
“I went back to trying to control my emotions. Only that time I decided to stop all emotions. Just to be safe. I could pretend to be happy, which was easiest. I could also pretend to be sad or even upset if I needed to, but that was harder. It always made me feel too close to real emotions when I did that. I couldn’t let myself really feel those things. It was too dangerous.”
“So you pretended to be happy all the time, or at least content, calm, agreeable.”
“Yes. It was safest.”
“That must have been very difficult to do.”
“No, it wasn’t. Not the second time. I always thought it was because I was so scared of what would happen if I let myself feel. But now I think that was only part of it.”
“Chaos?”
“Yeah, I think so.”
“Are you still scared?”
“Yes, but I hate knowing that Chaos has orchestrated my life, and Ria’s, and Vari’s. I still have to be careful about negative emotions, but I need to learn to feel again. I need to learn to be…normal.”
Saige nodded. “I can see how terrifying and difficult it’s been for you, baby. But I don’t think it’s your emotions you need to control so much as the telekinesis.”
“Maybe. According to Zaza I have to learn to use it, and she’s right. I don’t know why, or for what, but I know I have to do it. If I don’t, something really horrible will happen.
“Making the telekinesis stronger scares me. How can I keep it under control if I don’t keep my emotions under control, too?”
For the first time, Saige saw fear in Bean’s eyes, and she didn’t like it. “I don’t have the answers, Bean, but I think that in learning to use it, you’ll also learn to control it. And if you control it, truly control it, you’ll be able to stop it from doing anything that you don’t want it to do.”
“She’s right, Bean.”
“Will you help me with this Mom? I don’t even know how to begin.”
“Of course I’ll help,” Saige said, relieved beyond words that Bean had asked. “Have you ever used it at all? To turn the lights off, or fetch a cup, anything like that?”
“No, never. I was always afraid that if I opened that door, even a tiny bit, I’d never be able to close it again.”
“We’ll start slow and we’ll be careful,” Saige said. “It might even be fun.”
Bean wanted to express her doubt, but she didn’t know how, so she just nodded. It was better than plastering a smile on her face.
“Small steps,” Iffon said quietly so that only she could hear.
“I remember when we were all practicing with magic,” Saige said. “I was pregnant with your brothers then. We’d discovered…well, Lariah discovered…that Arimas could draw large amounts of power from the world around us so that Rami could draw it off, increasing their strength by a very great amount.”
“How strong did you get?”
“Strong enough to destroy Xanti ships without weapons.”
“Will I need to be that strong, Iffon? Do you know?”
“I don’t know, Bean,” he replied so they both could hear. “I do know, however, that you’ll need to practice control. That’ll be important.”
“You mean manipulation, don’t you?” Saige asked.
“Yes, that’s right. Manipulation. A little self-defense wouldn’t hurt either.”
“Will she need to use it as a weapon?”
“Perhaps. Perhaps not. It might come in handy.”
“Seems like an awful lot to learn in such a
short time.”
“We have three months, Bean. You can do a lot in three months if you put your mind to it.”
“Do you really think I could actually protect myself, Mom?”
“Yes, I do. But you’ll have to work at it.”
Bean nodded. Since she had to go to the far ends of the galaxy across what could only be termed enemy territory, she had to admit that attempting (once again) to learn some sort of self-defense might be a good idea. So long as no one expected her to flip or spin or leap through the air.
“I have to agree with that,” Iffon said, keeping his comments to her only. “After all, it’s my job to keep you alive. Allowing you to break your neck might put a black mark on my record.”
“Gee, thanks Iffon,” she said. “Glad to know you’re so concerned about me.”
“Ooohh…sarcasm. That’s a good sign. By the way, I’m going to need to begin eating.”
“Eating?” Bean asked, too surprised not to say it out loud. “I’ve never seen you eat before.”
“Just because you haven’t seen something does not necessarily indicate that it doesn’t take place,” he said so that Saige could hear him too.
“I only said I hadn’t seen it, Iffon. Not that it didn’t occur.”
“That’s true,” Iffon admitted. “I do eat upon very rare occasion, though it’s been a long time. Three or four decades, I believe. Now that I’m going to be corporeal on a regular basis, I’ll need sustenance.”
“That’s not a problem,” Saige said. “What sorts of food do birds eat, anyway? Aside from birdseed. Do we need to catch insects or dig up worms?”
“Only if you intend to eat them yourself, Lady Saige,” Iffon said with a shudder that left the small feathers on his head and neck standing straight up. “In which case, I ask that you warn me ahead of time so I can look the other way. Or leave the room. Or the house. Ick.”
“What do you eat, then?” Bean asked, amused enough by her mother’s attempt to smother her laughter that she smiled a little.
“Since I am not, strictly speaking, a bird, I may eat whatever I like.”
“What is it you like?” Saige asked a little breathlessly.
“I don’t recall at the moment. Except pie. I’ve always had a fondness for pie.”
“What kind of pie?” Bean asked, unable to picture a bird eating a pie.
“The kind one eats.”
“All right then,” Bean said, her eyes sparkling when her mother lost her battle and began laughing so hard tears ran down her cheeks.
“I see no reason for such humor,” Iffon said testily once Saige regained control of herself.
"Mom," Bean said, "do we still have the recipe for thekindoneeats pie around here somewhere?"
"I think so,” Saige said thoughtfully. “If not, I might be able to remember it. I know it begins with 'Extract a useful answer about pie preferences from a wise-apple not-strictly-speaking-bird. A rolling pin may be used for this, though care should be taken not to inhale the resulting feathers."
“Funny,” Iffon said dryly. “Like mother like daughter, obviously.”
“Thanks,” Bean and Saige both said at the same time, then shared a smile. Bean’s wasn’t very big, but it was sincere.
Bean reached up to stroke Iffon’s head soothingly, just in case he was feeling a little offended. When he rubbed his head against her palm, she knew he wasn’t. “I’ll have to contact the school and tell them I’m not coming back,” she said. “It’s not going to look good on my employment record to quit before the end of the school year, but it can’t be helped.”
“How much time is left?”
“Two months, roughly. I can’t do what I need to do here and finish out the school year on Sheara 3 at the same time.”
“We’ll take a ship over in a couple of days, pack up your belongings and speak to the school.”
“Okay, that sounds good, Mom, thank you.”
“You’re welcome, baby.”
“So, telekinesis. Where do we start?”
“Let’s go to the field down by the river and see what you can do. That way, we won’t accidentally hurt anyone or anything.”
“Good idea,” Bean said as she got up and walked down the steps to the lawn.
Chapter 3
The Hilgaria
Ria opened her eyes and gasped sharply, sitting up so suddenly she startled Talon, Thorn and Tee who were gathered close around her. “Star?” she asked, looking toward the door leading to the next room. She started to get up when Talon stopped her with a gentle hand on her shoulder.
“Ria, relax,” he said soothingly. “Star and the cubs are fine.”
She looked at him with wide, scared eyes, but after a moment she began to remember and relaxed. Then her eyes widened again. “It’s over?”
“You don’t remember?” Thorn asked. “Can you believe that, Tee? The second greatest event of our lives and she doesn’t even remember it. I think I’m insulted.”
“It’s not her fault,” Tee argued. “She was stabbed, remember?”
“Of course I remember,” Thorn said, rolling his eyes. “But she wasn’t stabbed in the head, was she?”
“No, but I think maybe you were,” Tee said.
“All right, children, knock it off,” Talon said.
“What do you mean the second greatest event and Oh! Lau-lotu! Let me see!”
Thorn held out his right arm, pride shining in his eyes. “You’re the most beautiful katrenca I’ve ever seen, Shiaki.”
Ria studied the blue katrenca that graced his arm with one forepaw stretched out to his wrist, its long tail wrapped around his bicep. Clear green eyes with golden flecks stared back at her, appearing to almost glow against the blue fur.
She laughed with delight, ignoring the tears that wet her cheeks. “I’ve never seen a blue katrenca before.”
“There’ve been a few,” Talon said, “but none with your eyes.”
Ria turned to examine the katrenca on Talon’s shoulders, laughing again when she saw its tail wrapped around his ribs, the tip curling up in the center of his chest. It wasn’t until she started to turn toward Tee that she caught sight of her own arms.
“I always loved seeing Mom’s lau-lotu,” she said, her voice soft. “Or anyone’s, really. I loved the idea of them. Of having not just an image, but a real part of someone you loved bonded with your own flesh so that you could actually look down and see proof that you’d never be alone again.” She looked up at her men. Her Rami. She closed her eyes for a moment, concentrating. “I feel your soul connected with mine,” she whispered, opening her eyes. “Can you feel it too?”
“Yes, Kitelle, we feel it too,” Talon said thickly. “We feel you, and each other in a way we never imagined possible. We’re complete now.”
“Yes, complete,” Ria nodded.
“We’re also very relieved to know that you’re a little more durable now,” Tee said.
“Durable?”
“Yes, durable. We no longer have to worry quite so much about you ending up like that Bumpty Lumpty person.”
“It’s Humpty Dumpty and he wasn’t a person. He was an egg.”
“He was a broken egg,” Thorn pointed out. “Now that you’re not quite that fragile, we can relax a little.”
Ria looked at him skeptically. “I guess that means I can use the stairs again.”
“Guess again,” he said with a huff. “I said not quite as fragile. I didn’t say unbreakable.”
“Oh I forgot about my eyes,” she said in surprise. “Do you think I’ll still be able to see invisible light?”
“Maybe, or maybe not,” Talon said. “Rather than speculate, why not just test it for yourself.”
“Oh yeah,” she said, blushing. Then she closed her eyes and focused. When she opened them again she saw the familiar red and yellow forms of her men through infrared vision, and smiled. “Yep, it still works.”
“That’s good,” Talon said. “I think your ability to see tachyo-matte
r is going to be important at some point.”
“That’s what Vari said.” She glanced toward the clock, then started crawling toward the edge of the bed.
“Where you going?”
“I need to go see Star and the cubs. She’s probably getting a little frantic by now.”
“She knows you’re all right,” Tee said. “We called the infirmary a couple of hours ago to let them know.”
“Thanks,” she said. “I still want to see her though. How bad were her injuries?”
“Not too bad,” Thorn said as they all got out of bed. “The worst injury was to the same hip she was shot in before. Dr. Jula said it wasn’t as bad, though, and she patched her back up. The other two wounds were shallow, and Dr. Jula expects her to make a full and speedy recovery.”
“Speedy?” Ria asked.
“Star is much stronger and healthier now than she was the last time around.”
“That’s true,” Ria agreed.
“Do you want to eat breakfast here or in the cafeteria, Kitelle?” Talon asked.
“I don’t know,” she said, stopping in the bathroom doorway. “I haven’t thought past seeing Star yet.”
“How about I run down to the cafeteria for some coffee while you take your shower,” Tee offered, reaching for his pants. “Then we’ll go visit Star and the cubs before going to eat.”
“That sounds good to me,” Ria said, smiling so brightly that Tee could only stare at her, feeling a little stunned for a moment. Ria laughed and went into the bathroom, closing the door behind her.
“That smile is dangerous,” he murmured, giving his head a little shake. He reached for his vox just as it chimed. He picked it up, put it in his ear, and tapped it.
Talon and Thorn waited, sensing Tee’s growing tension, his surprise, then his relief as he listened. When he was finished he clicked off, then turned to face his brothers with an odd expression on his face.
“The investigation into how that idiot waiter got into Star’s room has been concluded. Remember that crewman from the Bihotza? The one who grabbed Ria? Greenway is his name.”
Bean's Heart (Hearts of ICARUS Book 7) Page 4
