The expressions on the boys’ faces changed from amusement to outrage. Levi fixed his gaze on them and added sternly, “And they will be happy to do it.”
Reuben grinned and patted the boys on their shoulders. “You will find many changes in store for you in the next few weeks. If I were you boys, I’d be on my best behavior.”
Moses glanced from his grandfather to Levi. “What is that supposed to mean?”
Levi said, “We’ll talk about it after supper tonight. It’s time to go.”
To his surprise, the twins didn’t pester him for an explanation on the way home. When they arrived at the house, he waited until the boys got out, then he said, “I’ve got to see someone. I’ll be home in a couple of hours.”
“Where are you going?” Atlee asked.
“To Leah Belier’s place.”
The twins exchanged hard glances with each other. Levi snapped the lines against his horse’s rump and drove away. It was four miles to Leah’s home. He would have plenty of time to wonder if he was doing the right thing before he reached her house. He half hoped her cousin would be gone by the time he arrived.
* * *
Sarah had been waiting for Levi to come home. When she saw them pull up, she hurried to put on her coat, gathered her gift and headed out the front door. But by the time she reached her front gate, Levi was turning the corner at the end of the street. The twins were standing in their front yard watching him leave.
Disappointed, she decided her gift might as well be given to the twins. She walked toward them with a large package wrapped in white butcher’s paper in her arms and said, “Good evening to you both. I have a little something I thought you might like.”
Atlee looked at her brightly. “What is it?”
“It’s a smoked ham. I thought you might enjoy it for supper or keep it for Christmas dinner.”
Amos Fisher had stopped by with it earlier. She didn’t think he would mind if the Beachy family enjoyed some of his generosity. It would take her ages to finish so much meat.
“Where is Levi going?” She hadn’t intended to show such interest, but she couldn’t help herself.
“He’s going to see his girlfriend,” Moses grumbled.
“We don’t know that Leah is his girlfriend,” Atlee said, quickly.
Moses rolled his eyes. “I’m pretty sure he’s not taking reading and writing lessons. Thanks for the ham, Sarah.”
“Du bischt wilkumm,” she replied, handing it to him.
They were welcome to the ham even though she had hoped to make Levi smile when she told him where it came from. Amos Fisher had only one hundred and ninety-nine sows left now. Tonight, Levi wouldn’t be smiling at her joke. He’d be smiling at something Leah said or making her laugh.
Sarah sighed and looked at Moses. “Are you going to the winter picnic at Leah’s place on Saturday?”
“Are you?” Atlee asked.
“I’m not sure. My brother and his family are coming to visit. It depends on when they leave. What about you?”
Moses scowled. “That’s a party for old folks. We don’t want the gang thinking we’re part of the goody-goody crowd. We’re going to the hoedown at Ezra Bowman’s farm.”
“I heard Sally Yoder mention it. Ben Lapp seemed to think it might be a wild party.”
“That’s the best kind,” Atlee said with a grin.
“You boys will be careful, won’t you? I’ve heard that some of the kids in that gang drink and do drugs.”
“We’ll be careful. We don’t need to drink to have a good time,” Moses assured her with a twinkle in his eyes.
“That’s very sensible.”
“We don’t need to, but it helps!” Atlee yelled.
The boys dashed up the steps and into the house before she could say anything else.
She curbed her need to scold them and held tight to the knowledge that most Amish boys gave up their wild teenage ways and became good husbands and fathers. She would pray that Levi’s brothers soon discovered worldly pleasures weren’t as satisfying as leading a quiet, plain life with their loved ones and friends close at hand. It would break Levi’s heart if they strayed from the Amish way of life and were lost to the wickedness of the world.
Sarah looked up to heaven. “Lord, what those boys need is a sign from You to make them see the error of their ways.”
When she thought of all Levi had done for them and how little they seemed to care, she frowned. “I dearly wish I could see You deliver it.”
Chapter Thirteen
Levi got his wish. Leah’s cousin had already gone by the time he reached her home. She gave Levi her brother’s address in Sugarcreek and encouraged him to write and ask about a position for one of the boys. Like Levi’s grandfather, she thought spending some time apart would be good for them.
Over the next several days, Levi saw little of Sarah. Her family had arrived and she was kept busy with her houseful. On the Monday before Christmas, he had a chance to become reacquainted with her brother when he came by the shop.
Vernon was several years older than Levi, but he remembered him from school. “You’re the boy my sister shoved in the creek, aren’t you? I heard about that from the girls.”
The reminder wasn’t as painful as it once had been. “I reckon I deserved it.”
“It was Bethany’s doing. She thought it was a pretty good joke, but I don’t think she ever told Sarah. Poor Sarah, she felt so bad. She always thought she was the reason you left school before graduation.”
“My dad needed me in the shop.”
“I thought that must be it. That last year of school was a waste for me. I wanted to be out and working. I thought I’d be working in the mill alongside my father. Instead, I married a woman with a dairy farm. Luckily, we have her nephews who help us or we wouldn’t be able to come for this visit. Cows never take a day off.”
Levi smiled at the boy hanging on Vernon’s leg. “What’s your name?”
“Merle.”
“Nice to meet you. How old are you, Merle?”
“Five. I’m gonna go to school next year.” He was dressed exactly like his father, with dark pants, a dark coat and a wide-brimmed black hat.
“Are you enjoying your visit with your aunt Sarah?” Levi asked.
“She’s gonna take me fishing today,” the tyke announced proudly.
Leaning down, Levi propped his hands on his knees and said, “I’d stand clear when she tries to cast if I were you. She’s not very good at it.”
“I heard that,” Sarah said from the doorway.
He saw her approaching with a woman he assumed was her sister-in-law and two little girls.
Vernon introduced his wife, Alma, and his daughters Rosanna and Phoebe. Rosanna, who looked to be about eleven or twelve, stood quietly by her mother’s side. She reminded him of Sarah at that age. Phoebe was a few years younger. She hung back behind her mother’s skirts and clutched a blank-faced doll.
Alma said, “I can’t wait to do some of my Christmas shopping. What a treat it is to stay in town. Vernon, are you sure you’ll be okay with the kinder while I’m gone?”
“Don’t worry about us. Come, children, let us hitch up your aunt Sarah’s buggy for Mother so she doesn’t have to walk the streets with her arms full of packages.” He herded the kids out the door.
Alma said, “Sarah, I forgot my shawl in the house. I’ll be right back.”
Levi found himself alone with Sarah. The ease with which he’d once spoken to her deserted him. He wanted nothing more than to take her in his arms and hold her close. He needed to know how she felt about him. He needed to know if there was any hope for him. Could she love him even a little?
The questions he wanted to ask stuck in his throat. Fear made him keep silent.
When her family left the shop, Sarah crossed her arms and smiled after them. “I can’t believe how much those children have grown since I last saw them. Rosanna has put off her eahmal shatzli.”
The eahmal shatzli or “long apron” was the traditional dress of young Amish girls. When a girl was allowed to “put it off” and wear the short apron and cape like her mother, it was a sign that she was moving into womanhood.
Levi said, “She looks like you did at her age.”
“She’s much prettier than I was and so bright. She reminds me of Bethany.”
“Sarah, I need to speak to you,” he blurted out in a rush.
From outside, Alma called, “Sarah, I’m ready.”
The door opened and young Walter Knepp came in. The teenager looked around and asked, “Where are the twins?”
Sarah took a step closer to Levi. “You look so serious, Levi. What’s the matter?”
He couldn’t do it. Not with people watching and waiting on them. He needed to find a time when they wouldn’t be interrupted.
“Never mind. It can wait. Enjoy your shopping trip. Walter, the twins are at the harness shop chopping wood for their grandfather.”
Walter left but Sarah remained. “Are you sure it can wait?”
He nodded. “I’m sure.”
“Okay.”
She started to leave but paused at the door. “We’re going to eat at the café tomorrow evening. Would you like to join us? The twins are welcome, as well.”
He felt as if a weight had fallen off his back. “I’d like that.”
Her eyes sparkled with delight. “Wonderful.”
* * *
Sarah had been right about one thing. Having children in the house kept her from dwelling on the sadness of holidays past.
Rosanna was a quiet child, but Merle never walked if he could run and he ran as often as possible. Her fishing trip with him to Elam Sutter’s pond was half a success. She had a nice visit with Katie Sutter, and Merle caught four fish but none that were big enough to keep, much to his disappointment.
The following evening, Levi was waiting beside her gate when they came outside. Sarah looked around. “Where are the twins?”
“I decided not to risk spoiling your brother’s visit by subjecting his family to them.”
“So you didn’t invite them?”
“Nope. I decided not to spoil my evening by subjecting myself to them.”
“They aren’t that bad, Levi.”
“That’s what you think.”
As her family piled in her buggy, Sarah found herself wedged between Levi and the children in the backseat while her brother drove through the quiet streets of town. Along the way, they enjoyed the Christmas lights and display in the English homes and businesses.
“Oh, how beautiful,” Rosanna said when they passed the stately pine in the center of the town square. It was covered with multicolored lights and bore a shining silver star on the highest branch.
Phoebe turned to her father. “Why can’t we have a tree like that at our home? We have big pines.”
Vernon shared a knowing glance with his wife and then said, “Sarah, do you remember asking Father that question? Why don’t you tell Phoebe what her grandfather had to say about the subject?”
Sarah smiled softly at the warm childhood memory. “We were traveling to visit Aunt Emma, and we passed by this very tree. It was smaller then and so was I. I said, ‘Papa, why can’t we have pretty trees like the Englisch?’”
“What did he say?” Merle asked.
“He said that when our Lord and Savior was born, no one decorated a tree for him. No one put fancy lights on the roof of the lowly stable. Jesus came to us quietly, in a plain and simple way. We have no need of glowing lights to remind us of His coming, for His light is bright and strong in each of our hearts. And when Jesus looks down from heaven to see how we are celebrating his birth, He looks for the simple light that shines from inside us, where it counts. All those of us who keep His light in our hearts make a more beautiful display to His eyes than any English tree.”
Vernon looked at his daughter. “So, Rosanna. Do you want God to see lights in our pine trees or do you want him to see the light in your heart.”
“I want Him to see the light in my heart,” Rosanna answered quietly.
“Me, too,” Phoebe said.
“Me, three,” Merle chimed in.
“Me, four,” Sarah added. Levi took her hand and gave it a squeeze. She had let the light of God’s love grow dim in her heart. The sorrows of the past could not be forgotten, but they could be endured.
Sarah couldn’t remember when she’d had a more enjoyable evening. The food was excellent and made better by the fact that she didn’t have to cook or clean up afterwards. She had pork roast so tender it fell apart when she put her fork in it. The green beans were steamed to perfection and the sweet potato fries were delicious. She didn’t have room for dessert when she finished her meal. Levi had no trouble putting away a slice of peach pie topped with vanilla ice cream.
As they were getting ready to leave, Elam and Katie Sutter came in with their family. Seeing Levi, Elam stopped by the table with his infant son in his arms. The chubby baby sported a pearly white bottom tooth when he grinned at Merle and Phoebe’s baby talk.
Levi looked to Elam. “Are you getting more sleep these days?”
“Finally.”
The men grinned at each other and Elam left to join his wife and children in a booth at the back of the room.
Sarah’s heart warmed as she imagined Levi with a child of his own. He’d learned some hard lessons raising his brothers and sister. Sarah suspected he would do things differently with his own son or daughter, for the better.
Vernon covered his mouth and coughed deeply, then he grimaced and rubbed his chest.
Alma looked at him with concern. “Are you sick?”
“I’ve got a scratchy throat, that’s all.”
Levi said, “Take care of yourself. There’s a nasty flu bug making the rounds. I had it myself, and it wasn’t fun.”
He glanced at Sarah, but she couldn’t tell what he was thinking. She looked away, afraid he would see how much that time alone with him had meant to her.
On the way back to the house, Sarah wished she lived miles from the inn instead of a dozen blocks. If she did, she’d be able to sit snuggled beside Levi for hours. As it was, they reached their destination all too quickly. Watching him walk home, she began to miss him before he was even out of sight.
Whenever Levi was near, she only wanted to keep him near. When he was away from her, all she wanted to do was to see him again.
The intensity of her feelings frightened her. How long could she keep them hidden if he loved another? How could she keep them from growing stronger?
Later, when she was ready for bed, Sarah knelt beside her mattress and prayed. She prayed that her feeling wouldn’t grow into love.
She slept poorly, but it was the only rest she would get for many hours. Before dawn, there was a knock on Sarah’s door and her sister-in-law came in.
Sarah sat up in bed. “What’s wrong?”
“It’s Vernon. He’s very ill. Can you come help me?”
* * *
“It sure seems quiet over at Sarah’s place. Has her family gone home?” Atlee stood at the workbench looking out the window.
Levi stopped working. “Their buggy was still parked beside Sarah’s barn when I fed our horses this morning.”
Atlee said, “Merle is normally up and about this time of the day. Usually, he’s running back and forth along the fence hitting the pickets with a stick. It beats me why he gets such a thrill out of it.”
Levi rose from his stool at the counter and moved to the window. Movement at Sarah’s kitchen window caugh
t his eye. It looked as if Sarah’s sister-in-law was crying and Sarah was comforting her. He said, “I think I’ll go over and see if everything is all right.”
He left the shop and hurried across the street. Sarah’s front gate squeaked when he opened it. He would have to tell Atlee or Moses to oil it. Sarah opened the door before he reached it. Merle stood at her side.
“Is everything all right?” Levi asked.
“Papa is sick and we have to be quiet,” Merle told him solemnly.
Sarah said, “I think it’s the same flu that you had. So far, none of the rest of us are sick. What did you need?”
“Nothing. Atlee noticed Merle wasn’t out banging on the picket fence. I wondered if everything was okay.”
“Mamm says I can’t make noise so Daed can sleep.” Merle looked sorely disappointed.
“What can I do to help?” Levi asked.
She smiled, but she couldn’t hide the fear in her eyes. “I am low on some medicines. Could you go to the drugstore for me?”
“Of course.” He came inside while Sarah wrote up a list of things she needed. He wanted to hold her close and offer his comfort, but he didn’t dare. He didn’t know if she would welcome his attention. If only he had spoken before. As soon as he was granted another chance, he would accept it gladly. He couldn’t bear not knowing how she felt.
After fetching her supplies, he returned as quickly as he could. He handed them over. “Would you like me to sit with Vernon for a while? You look tired.”
“I didn’t sleep well. I’m not worried about me. I’m worried about Alma. She’s four months’ pregnant, and it hasn’t been an easy pregnancy for her. This stress isn’t good for her or the babe. If we can’t get Vernon’s fever down in a few hours, I will send for the doctor.”
“I’ll be close by if you need me.”
Her grim expression lightened. “I never doubted it for a minute. Can I ask you one more favor?”
“Anything.”
“Can you take Merle with you for a few hours? He’s restless.”
“Sure. Atlee and Moses can take him to the park. I imagine he’d like the slide and the swings. They can take the girls, too. It’s a cold day, but if they dressed warm, they should be okay.”
Patricia Davids Christmas Brides of Amish Country: An Amish ChristmasThe Christmas QuiltA Hope Springs Christmas Page 52
