“I just don’t… It’s going to take a while for me to understand that, and there are still things that… We need to take it slow.”
She nodded, trying not to feel any trepidation. No matter what, Benny had finally taken a step with her, and she didn’t want to ruin it. “I just don’t know what changed between now and a few hours ago.”
He was quiet for a moment, then sighed. “I guess Fifi woke me up.” He snuggled in against her. “I’m sorry, Harley. I’m sorry I made things so hard.”
She shook her head. “No. They weren’t hard, not until recently. I have always loved being your friend. It’s just that after seeing the others all moving on without us, it just…”
“Made you want the same thing,” he said, because clearly, he felt the same.
She nodded. “But I should have been more patient.”
“No, you had the patience of a saint,” Benny said. “And you might have to be patient a little longer because, as I said, we have to go slow.”
“How slow? Just tell me what you’re comfortable with.”
“We can’t… be together all the way. Not yet. And I can’t sleep in a bed with you. I know it’s weird, but…”
She put a finger to his lips. God, even that felt good. “It’s okay.”
“It’s not. It’s weird, but—”
“I love you,” she said sharply. “Just as you are. Weirdness and all. We’ll just take this one thing at a time.”
His relief was almost tangible, and his arms only wrapped around her tighter. “You’re amazing, Harley. Other than what I mentioned, I’ll give you anything you want.”
She thought about it. “I do want one thing.”
He tensed up for a moment. “If I can give it, it’s yours.”
She took a deep breath, then giggled. “A date. I want to go out together. Something fun.”
He let out a pent-up breath, chuckling. “I think I can manage that, sweetheart.”
Her heart melted at hearing that word, and she sank deeper into his arms. “You can at least stay with me until closing, right?”
He grinned as he leaned down to kiss her. “Nothing in the world could make me leave.”
Benny didn’t want to say good-bye to Harley at the end of the night, but it was late and they were going out on a date the next day anyway.
Still, as he walked her out, arm tucked in his, long after the other employees had cleaned up and gone home, he worried that when he went to bed and woke up, maybe everything would go back to how it was.
Maybe he wouldn’t trust himself again. Maybe…
She moved in front of him, facing him as they reached her truck. She pushed a lock of his hair back, smiling. “So any idea where you’re going to take me tomorrow? Because if not, I have a request.”
“Sure, wherever you want.” He still couldn’t believe that they were doing this, taking this next step.
Or that they’d gotten intimate together first.
Still, it had been heaven, and he didn’t want to question it.
“I was thinking the zoo,” she said quietly.
Memories assaulted him, bringing back a childhood that had been filled with trauma and warmth at the same time.
“We could do that,” he said. “You always loved the zoo.”
“You did too,” she said, unlocking the door to her truck and hopping up into it. “Don’t lie.”
He laughed, coming over to stand by her. Even with her in the truck and him on the ground, if he just stood up on the running board, they were even. “I did. It’s just… nostalgic thinking about it.”
“Well, if you don’t want to, we won’t.”
He shook his head. “After how long you’ve been waiting for me, I couldn’t refuse you anything at all. Besides, you’re right. I really did enjoy it.”
She grinned. “Me too. I think it’ll be fun. Something casual. A good place to start since we’re going to go slow.”
“True.” He stepped up, crowding her in, loving the way she blushed. How had he never seen how much she wanted him? He supposed he’d been blind because he wasn’t ready to see it, but now he saw what everyone meant.
And it drove him crazy.
She fluttered her lashes as she glanced up at him. “Well?”
That was all he needed, and his lips covered hers gently, holding the contact, loving the emotions that surged inside.
Now that he was calmer, that he’d had hours to hold her and the alcohol had subsided, he was happier than he’d been in a long time.
The animal in him had held back and not killed anyone, and he hadn’t even had to use one of those pills.
A tiny part of him thought maybe this could work after all.
The rest of him was still scared.
Scared because she was precious. Scared because he’d held back so long that it felt as though things were breaking. Scared that now that he’d tasted her, it would be impossible to go slow.
Scared that he’d set them both on a course that was dangerous but from which neither of them could turn back now.
He groaned as she pulled back, hating the loss of contact.
“Sorry,” she said, flushing and biting her lower lip. “I could do that forever, but I really do need to get home.”
“Right, I don’t want you to be too tired to drive. Speaking of which, do you want me to follow you?”
She shook her head. “It’s fine. I’m not that sleepy. I know the way.”
Benny wasn’t convinced. The protectiveness in him was surging at an all-time high. His whole world was contained in her truck, and it was late and she was tired.
“I’m going to follow you, and then I’ll head home,” he said, pulling out his keys.
“What about you? Aren’t you tired?” She pursed her lips, looking cute. “I don’t want you falling asleep either. Maybe I should follow you—”
He pinned her with a glare, letting her know he was serious. “You know the drill, Harley. I watch out for you.”
She sighed. “That’s what made it so hard not to fall for you.”
His lips lifted in a grin. “Then I’m glad I couldn’t help it.” He leaned in, unable to resist stealing one more quick kiss. When he pulled back, she sighed sexily.
“I’m never going to get used to that after dreaming about it for so long.”
He raised an eyebrow. “How did it measure up to the fantasy?”
She melted in against her seat, looking dazed. Then she grinned. “Like a bonfire compared to a matchstick.”
Pride and hope burned in him at that. “If I had ever allowed myself to dream, I know I would feel the same.”
“That’s so sad,” she said, touching his face. “You deserve to dream, Benny.”
In a moment, he would leave her and go back to his truck to follow her home. But for now, he would just absorb her warmth, her acceptance.
Whether he wanted to or not, just being with her made him start dreaming.
Chapter 7
Twenty years earlier…
Harley wasn’t sure what her parents meant when they said they had a new friend for her.
She knew they had said they were lucky and they had a duty to help other people. They’d told her some kids weren’t as fortunate as she was and it was good to help them have a home.
Harley hadn’t understood what all of it meant, but she was excited to have a new friend at home. As an only child with no brothers and sisters like her friends had, it would be nice to have another kid around.
She was nine and pretty old now, so she figured she could be a good example as well.
Which was good, because even though they’d first told her about it months ago, they’d pulled her into the office yesterday to tell her someone would be coming the next evening.
Harley could hardly wait.
They hadn’t told her what the visitor would look like, but she was hoping it was another girl. They could play LEGOs and share everything. Harley had made sure to take her stuff and divide it all
up, since her mom had said her new friend might not have very much stuff.
Would her new friend want to play tonight even? Harley could barely contain herself at the thought.
She was trying to keep busy, arranging the horses in her LEGO stable, when the doorbell finally rang.
She jumped up, quickly looked down at her outfit to make sure it was “presentable,” as her mom always said, and decided the ruffled pink shirt and jean shorts were just fine for meeting someone new.
It was her favorite outfit.
She ran down the steps in a way that would have gotten her yelled at if her parents weren’t huddled nervously at the door.
She moved up behind them, trying to see between them as they looked at one another and then her.
“Are you ready, Harley?” Her dad smiled.
She nodded eagerly.
“Let’s meet our little boy,” her mom said, opening the door.
Harley frowned. Boy?
But before she could say anything, the door was opening, and Harley took an instinctive step back.
Sure enough, standing on the porch and looking dirty was a stinky boy.
Harley pouted, folding her arms and sitting on the stairs as her father welcomed the boy in.
She knew she was being mean, but she’d wanted a girl to play with.
And this boy didn’t look fun at all.
She frowned and looked closer as the boy jerked back from her parents with fear in his eyes as they tried to reach for his stuff.
Which was in the kind of bag Mom used for garbage.
Harley felt sad inside in a way she couldn’t quite explain. Suddenly, she didn’t care if she had a sister. She just wanted to make this boy smile.
She walked forward, and the boy flinched back. He had pretty eyes in a color she hadn’t seen before, and his dark hair was so messy she knew she would have been in trouble if hers looked the same.
There were also marks on his face like the ones she got when she fell on the playground. Why were they on his face?
He was glaring at all of them, looking as though he wanted to run away, when Harley gently waved her hand.
When his eyes moved to her, they widened in confusion.
Maybe no one had told him he was getting a new friend as well.
“You don’t need to be scared. My parents are nice people,” she said. “I’m nice too. My name’s Harley. What’s yours?”
The boy’s face relaxed, looking less angry. “Benny.” He reached out, then paused, as if afraid to shake her hand.
So she stepped forward and pulled him into a hug.
She supposed they would have to practice this, because he didn’t know how to hug back.
She stepped back, grinning at him. “Come on. Let Dad take your stuff. You want dinner?”
He shook his head.
“Okay,” she said, looking up to see her parents watching her with an expression she’d never seen them wear before. “Let’s go upstairs. I know what will make you feel better.”
She led the way up the stairs, and Benny kept his garbage bag, still looking scared of her dad.
Harley decided it might be a little while. Maybe sometimes kids could only trust kids.
“Should we go with them?” Her mom sounded nervous.
“He won’t hurt me,” Harley said quickly. “He’s really nice. I can tell.”
Benny stopped moving behind her, and she looked back to see him looking surprised.
“Well,” her mom said, leaning into her dad and looking nervous. “Call if you need us.”
Harley gave them a thumbs-up, then led the way to her room.
When she got there, she opened the door for Benny to come in.
He hesitated, then looked behind him and walked in, still looking scared. Still holding that bag.
She walked up to take it from him. “We’ll take this to your room later. I need to, um, put some boy toys in there or something.”
Benny still looked confused. He sat down on one of her play chairs and stared around the room blankly.
“Wait here. I gotta get something.”
She ran from the room to the study and grabbed all the cushions from the couches, huffing with effort as she dragged them back to her room.
He still looked scared, so she needed to make him feel safe again.
She started setting up the cushions and then grabbed a blanket to go over the top. She decided not to even mind that he was dirty, since he seemed so sad.
She crawled into the pillow fort and then pulled back the blanket, giving him a smile. “Come on in. This is the best.”
He just sat there, and she sighed impatiently.
“Come on. Don’t you know nothing bad could ever happen in a pillow fort? Plus, we need to get to know each other. We’re going to be best friends.”
“Best friends?” He took a step forward, peeking into the tent.
“Yup,” she said, scooting back so there was room for him. “And tell each other everything. And go everywhere together.”
He finally laughed, and it made her feel happy. “You talk a lot.”
Harley wrinkled her nose. “I do?”
He nodded. “But it’s nice.” He looked around him at the fort. “This is nice. I think I’ll be happy here if you’re my friend.”
She nodded, handing him a snack from her pocket. “Always.”
Harley woke up groggy, feeling as if she’d barely slept due to her vivid dreams.
Running a hand through her hair, she couldn’t believe how long ago it all felt.
The day she met Benny.
Maybe she was in love with him from the start.
Or maybe it happened in a million other moments.
The first time he stood up for her on the playground.
The time he asked her to prom when no one else did.
Any of the times he’d yelled at someone who tried to mess with her hair or call her names.
When they took jobs together, not wanting to be apart.
So many other moments.
She checked her phone, groaning as she realized she’d slept in late and would need to hurry if she wanted to be ready for her date.
It was oddly exciting thinking of seeing him again, considering how much they’d seen each other over the years.
But things were different now. They were progressing. Everything seemed possible.
She jumped in the shower, trying not to think too hard about what they’d done last night. There wouldn’t be time for that today, and besides, that wouldn’t be going slowly.
Even if her body already ached to feel him again. Everything about it had just felt so right.
She washed herself, her body feeling new to her in every place she’d been touched by him. She felt beautiful, erotic, unlike she’d ever felt before.
She’d been waiting for him in ways she hadn’t even comprehended.
It had so far been more than worth the wait.
She picked her outfit carefully, then used a headband to pull her curls off her face. By the time she was done with her makeup, her heart was beating in anticipation.
It wouldn’t be like a normal day at the bar or hanging out after with all the guys, just being one of them.
It was just her and Benny on their own with no one they knew around.
Just as she was grabbing her purse and her breakfast, her phone buzzed, and she grinned when she saw Benny’s name on the caller ID.
She couldn’t tell him about the dream she had. She knew it wouldn’t be as positive of a memory as it was for her.
Her heart still ached for the little boy he’d been, and she wished her parents could see the man he had become.
They would be so proud of him.
Like she was as she looked outside and saw him jump down out of his truck and jog up to her porch as though he couldn’t wait to see her.
He looked gorgeous, as always, and she felt her heart skip a beat as she opened the door.
It felt so right to look up at h
im, to walk forward and give him a quick hug. To have neither of them holding back from their feelings.
To go out into the world together, ready to face whatever came their way, knowing they would always have each other’s back.
Chapter 8
The local zoo was quainter and more nostalgic than even Benny could have anticipated.
In their childhood, Harley’s parents had taken them to the much larger one near their home. Back then, they’d spent hours running through all of the exhibits, taking extra time with the reptiles and birds, just to do it all over again. By the end of the day, they’d have seen everything twice, and her parents would be exhausted and ready to head home.
But now, as he and Harley strolled casually through the center of the park, having just passed by the safari-themed areas, Benny felt no rush to go anywhere or do anything so long as Harley was there next to him.
She looked absolutely perfect, as always, with fitted jeans that hugged her hips and a red T-shirt that belonged to her favorite band that only further accentuated her long, curly red hair pulled over one shoulder. Her eyes sparkled in the late-morning sun, her glowy skin a reminder of what they’d done in his office back at Club Crimson.
“So where to next?” Harley asked, taking a sip from a water bottle she carried in her purse.
“How about woodlands adventure?” Benny said, pointing to a small, already crumpled map he drew from his pocket. Folding those things was too damn hard sometimes…
“Hey, maybe we’ll see your distant cousin there.” She wriggled her eyebrows excitedly, and Benny laughed.
It felt so strange to be doing things as a couple for the first time in their lives, not just as friends. Of course, the fact that Harley was his best friend added to the appeal, but friends didn’t do things like they’d done in his office.
Keep it together, Benny. He pointed in the right direction, and they headed off.
At some point while they meandered, Benny reached down and gently grasped Harley’s hand in his. For a moment, there was an awkward tension, the feeling almost of something forbidden. Something he’d wanted to do for years—romantically—but hadn’t because of all the same factors that had troubled him since his childhood.
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