by Annie Boone
When Charity didn’t respond, Hope continued. “You don’t know him well enough yet to decide if you’re a match or not. That’s what courting is all about. Finding out about that.”
“Yes, but does one go into a relationship prospect with such a big concern?” asked Charity.
Hope came to stand beside her baby sister. She put her hand on her shoulder and squeezed lightly. “Oh, Charity. I know you’re a little frightened. But think of it this way. If you look at the negatives in any suitor, you will never bother with anyone. You have to think positively.”
Charity turned her head sideways and smirked. “Positively? Really? What’s positive about a beau who’s planning to move away? How can a relationship grow from that?”
Hope eyed her sister inquisitively. “Aren’t you usually the one with the positive attitude about everything? You’re always happy about something. I’m surprised you didn’t give that man a chance. You give every sinner a second and third chance.”
Charity narrowed her eyes, never liking when Hope used her beliefs against her. She often did that to make her own point. It never ended up making Charity feel good at all. “I’m not courting them. With those sinners, as you call them, I’m doing the Lord’s work. He wants us to care for others who need Him. You know that, Hope. That’s not the same as a relationship with a suitor.” Charity exhaled loudly and backed away from her sister, clearly annoyed.
Hope rolled her eyes slightly before she answered, “You’re missing my point. I just think that you should give him a chance. I don’t think there is any harm in seeing him.” She shook her head as though that was supposed to make the difference in her argument. Her older sisters always thought that Charity should just do as they told her to. She was a grown woman now and she was trying to make her own way. She felt like she was stumbling now and she wanted Hope’s help. Not her criticism.
“Well, thank you for your concern,” she answered diplomatically. “I’ll think about what you’ve said. I still have concerns, but I’ll think about it all with an open mind. Positively.”
She hugged Hope and walked out of the room. She knew she needed to speak to Faith about all this. She went to the library thinking that was the logical place for Faith to be. When she walked in, her oldest sister looked up from her reading and smiled.
“Charity! What a pleasant surprise. I didn’t think you’d be here today,” said Faith. “What’s going on? Your face is too expressive to hide it when you’re worried about something. Let’s hear it.”
Charity told her the story about Eli asking her out to supper last night and how she’d turned him down. She listened without making judgmental statements or laughing at her. Charity was grateful for that small thing.
“This is good news, yes?” said Faith. “A suitor who is really perfect for you. I’m thrilled for you, Charity.”
“I suppose it would be good news if he wasn’t planning to leave San Jose soon. He’s not here permanently. He went to school to be a pastor. Did you know there were such schools? I had no idea! Anyway, he’s here to help his father out and to learn in our church for a while. Then he’ll get his own church and move away. So, see, this could never work.”
“Charity,” Faith sighed and tipped her head to the side. “I’m going to tell you something that I never truly believed until I met Aaron. No matter what adversities you face, if it is meant to be, love will always find a way. Now, that doesn’t mean it isn’t going to be hard and there won’t be challenges. I believe that ultimately, if you two are meant for one another, God will make it happen. It can work out for you to end up together.”
Charity thought about this for a moment before she responded, “Well, how do you know if it’s worth the effort?”
She grinned at her little sister and gave her a funny look before she answered, “If you are meant to fight for it, then you will just know. Aren’t you the one who is supposed to have all of this faith?”
Just like Hope had done, Faith was now annoying her. To keep from snapping at Faith, she waited a moment and answered carefully, “Of course I have faith. In the Lord and His plan for me, but not in matters of the heart.”
“Then why do two people fall in love, if not to be married and become one in God? Marriage is quite Biblical, Charity. Remember how God created Eve so Adam wouldn’t be alone?”
“Yes, but,” Charity tried to counter, but stumbled over her words, “We’re not talking about marriage for me and Eli. We’re talking about one evening! Nothing more!”
That was when Faith smiled and nodded her head, responding smartly, “Exactly. It’s just one night out. Where God wants to take you two from there will be determined later. Wait on the Lord, Charity. He will always renew your strength. But then you know that.”
“I do know that. It’s difficult, though, Faith. I don’t know what’s going to happen. I’m afraid. I really like him.”
Faith sighed then and added, “Just go out with him, Charity. You’ll never know what will happen unless you do it and you’ll live with regret if you don’t.”
After supper, Charity excused herself when the dishes were done and went to her room. She was alone in the house with her mother that night. Helen gave her an inquisitive look, but didn’t ask questions.
Thank the good Lord I didn’t have to tell her all about the visit from Eli, Charity thought. She was definitely not in the mood to get her mother’s point of view on top of what her sisters had told her.
She’d been thinking about what they had said and she was starting to think that maybe she’d reacted a bit dramatically. She was definitely not the excitable sister, so it was out of character for her to behave this way over something like this.
She sat in her room and went over both conversations. The things Hope said really just supported what Faith had eventually said. Faith was right. She’d never know what could happen if she didn’t take this chance to get to know him better. She’d never know if God’s plan was for them to be together if she didn’t take this tiny step.
She decided to find Eli the next day. She started feeling excited. She was going to be bold and let him know she was changing her “no” to “yes.” Then, as quickly as she got happy, her mood changed. She got a terrible stab of regret and sadness in the pit of her stomach. What was she thinking? Charity knew that if she had gotten such a definite rejection, she would never tempt that fate again. There was no way Eli would want to court her now. She was sure it was too late.
She stopped thinking about looking for Eli the next day. She stopped thinking about having supper with him on Friday. She stopped thinking about Eli completely. And then she snuggled into bed and tried to go to sleep. It was a long time coming, but finally she fell into a fitful sleep.
***
Charity woke in a bad mood. The restless night of sleep had left her tired and cranky. She normally looked forward to her days in the bakery. Today, though, she dreaded the day.
“Good morning, dear,” said her mother when she practically stomped into the kitchen to have some breakfast. “You seem a bit out of sorts. Is everything going to be all right with you?”
“Yes, ma’am, I’ll be fine. I just didn’t sleep well. That’s all. I’m still sleepy and tired.”
“I see. Well, I hope you’ll be able to make it through the day.”
“I will. Hey, Mama, do you have a minute? I have a question for you.” Charity put butter and jam on her toast as it came out of the oven. Then she looked up at her mother who was looking back at her with almost a smirk. “It’s about Eli. Eli Smallwood, the parson’s son.”
“I was wondering when you’d get around to asking me about this situation,” she replied with a smile.
“You knew about it?”
“Well, I did see you talking at Hope’s wedding. I’d hoped he might be a good match for you. I think you’re well suited for each other and he really did seem taken with you.”
“He came by the bakery the day before yesterday. I was short with him. He asked
me to supper and I turned him down. I’m sure I embarrassed him all because I was afraid. I feel terrible and I’m sad. I like him.”
“Why were you afraid, dear? I don’t understand.”
“I know he’s not going to be here that long. His future is uncertain and I don’t want to fall in love with him and then have him leave. There. I said it. I sound so shallow. And selfish.”
“Protecting your heart isn’t shallow or selfish. It’s your responsibility to do that. It’s not smart to risk your heart every chance you get. In this case, I think it may be worth the risk. Eli is a wonderful man of God. He seems to be interested in you. Why not see what happens? If God’s will is for you to be together, then God will make the path straight.”
“Faith said the same thing.”
“In this case, listen to your sister. She’s right,” smiled Charity’s mother.
She finished breakfast and took her horse to the bakery. She didn’t always take a carriage. When the weather was sunny and bright, she liked to go on horseback. One thing about being in the west, many of the rules that women had to abide by in the south and the east didn’t matter here. She loved that. Maybe that unconventional attitude would someday spread to the idea of a woman leading a church. She could only hope.
She arrived at the bakery and took her horse, Shamrock, to the back. She tied him up next to a trough of oats and went around to the front of the shop. As she walked up to the door, she noticed that there was a bouquet of flowers tied with a lovely red ribbon leaning up against the door.
The bouquet contained freshly cut pink roses, white daisies with bright yellow centers, and fragrant lavender. The perfume of the bunch of flowers was intoxicating. She smiled as she took another deep breath to enjoy the lovely aroma again. Unlocking the door, she backed in to the shop with the flowers in one hand and her bag in the other.
The Bergmans have another satisfied customer, she thought happily. Once she had made it into the store, she set the flowers aside to find a vase or something to put them in so they wouldn’t wilt. When she was putting the flowers into the vase, she found a note tucked inside the ribbon. She didn’t want to be nosey, but the card wasn’t in an envelope so she couldn’t help but read it.
When she saw the handwritten note she gasped and covered her wide open mouth with her hand.
Dear Charity,
I’m sorry if I put you in an uncomfortable position. That was certainly not my intention. I hope these will brighten your day. I also hope you’ll think kindly of me when you look at them.
Sincerely yours,
Eli
Charity was shocked, reading the note, but when she was finished, she smiled and took the flowers into the back with her, so that she could look at them while she baked.
Despite all of the questions she had, Charity’s heart warmed at the thoughtfulness of his gesture. And his choice of flowers was perfect. They were delightful together and their fragrance filled her senses. She was feeling happy and cheerful due to the kindness of a handsome young preacher. She felt like squealing with joy, but restrained herself since she knew she’d feel silly afterward.
The flowers did brighten her day, just as was his hope from his note. Every time she looked over at them she smiled. Her opinion of him was already high, but her view of him was certainly more favorable than before.
And then the guilt hit her. She’d rebuffed his attempt to get to know her better. To court her. She’d actually been a bit rude. In spite of her behavior, he took the blame and tried to make amends with flowers. Lovely flowers, in fact.
She didn’t want him to think that she was angry with him. She didn’t want him to view her as a spoiled brat or an ungrateful sourpuss. And then there was the two out of two sister vote that she should at least give him a chance. She was starting to become convinced that she should give Eli a chance, just to see where it led.
A plan began to percolate in her mind. If she could just get up the nerve to pull it off, she might salvage the mess she’d made with Eli.
This is my chance to turn this around, she thought as she arranged the freshly made blackberry pastries in the basket. He reached out to me and I really should respond with a small thank you. In fact, I am more than called to return his thoughtfulness. Etiquette demands that I thank him for his gift. Doesn’t it?
In reality, this was not just a simple thank you. It was more than an olive branch. The gesture she was about to make was far more meaningful than anything she’d ever done before. It was simple in theory, but the deep down intent would hopefully be clear to Eli.
Charity was a little nervous about this step she was about to take. She knew that there was a very good chance that she would do something wrong. But she decided that finding out too late that she should have taken this chance would be torture and she didn’t want to have regrets.
She worked all day in the back making pastries, breads, and even a cake. Mrs. Bergman ran the front of the shop for most of the day giving Charity the freedom to do her baking without interruption. When Mrs. Bergman saw the flowers on the desk in the back she smiled brightly.
“Where did the flowers come from, Charity? Do you have a suitor?” she asked conspiratorially.
“Um, well, I guess so. They’re from Eli Smallwood. I’m sure you don’t know him, though.”
“Oh, the parson’s son? I’ve heard he’s a lovely young man. Very nice to the elderly, I believe,” she said.
“I do believe he’s a fine man. Called by the Lord,” replied Charity.
“Well, I’m glad you’ve set your cap for a man who does good for others. He’ll likely do good by you if he feels a calling. I’m happy to see you coming out of your shell a bit. It’s long overdue, dear. You have much to offer.”
“I teach Bible study at the church, Mrs. Bergman. I’m not a complete social failure,” Charity laughed.
Mrs. Bergman nodded and patted Charity’s flour covered hand. “I know, but you need a social life with people your own age. I’ve heard that you shine when you’re working in your church and your faith is evident every day. It’s not a sin to have fun, though. It’s also Biblical to have a mate. Courting is the way you find the right one for you.”
“Yes, ma’am, I know. I’m doing my best.”
“Looks to me like you’re doing a great job. It’s not every day that a man brings flowers to a lady.” She smiled, gave Charity a brief hug, and went back to the front to help a customer.
Charity thought more about her plan to make up with Eli. She knew that she had to do something for him that would be within her character. It couldn’t be something outlandish or elaborate. So, after running the plan through her mind all day, she figured that she would close up the bakery and go straight to his family home. If she set out right after work maybe she wouldn’t lose her nerve.
At the end of her work day, she started gathering her things. She wanted to take the flowers, but she was on Shamrock. Everything she took with her would have to fit on the horse. She decided to wrap the stems of the flowers in a towel and fit them into her bag. It would be a tight fit, but she thought it would work.
She got the basket of blackberry pastries she had lovingly put together for Eli and carried it carefully. She hung her bag on the saddle and balanced the basket of pastries between the saddle and Shamrock’s neck. She hefted her skirt with one hand, put her boot in the stirrup, placed the other hand halfway on the saddle and halfway on the basket of goodies. This was the only way she could think of to do this by herself. Then she took a deep breath and lifted herself into the saddle. Eli’s basket stayed firmly in place.
With a sigh of relief, she settled herself into the saddle and urged Shamrock to start moving. Her heart was beating faster than normal, but that was to be expected since she was taking a risk. At least for her, it was a risk. Eli was probably not going to turn her down. He’d left flowers for her, after all. But the step to court a man who was likely going to leave her for his job, was frightening to her. Even if she felt she
was following God’s lead, she was still afraid.
She wasn’t sure what she was going to say when she arrived but she could only hope that it came out in a way that Eli would understand. After all, when it came to personal matters, she was soft-spoken and often was unable to string her thoughts together properly, yet when she was speaking about the Lord, her faith took complete control of her tongue and she seemed to always be able to find the right thing to say. Maybe she could channel her faith into this moment.
Dear God, I need your help to talk to Eli. I want him to know that I’m sorry about how I acted. I want him to know that I think he’s special. Help me do that. Amen.
She reminded herself how thankful she was for this opportunity that God had clearly presented to her. Anxious to take charge of it, before it really was too late, she also reminded herself to be slow so she could say what she means.
Oh, and God, thank You. I will do all I can with Your help to make the most of this. I know You put Eli in my life for a purpose. I’m looking forward to what You have in store for us. Amen.
However, Charity didn’t even have to reach Eli’s home to have a conversation with him. Instead, she was about to turn to head down the road to his house when she saw him walking down the street. What a surprise! Thankful she saw him, she took a deep breath to gather her nerves.
“Eli! Good afternoon, Eli,” Charity called.
He turned in surprise and smiled when he realized it was her. He started walking toward her instead of waiting for her to approach him. She thought that was a good sign.
“Hello, Charity. It’s good to see you. How are you today?”
“Wonderful,” she beamed. “Thanks to you.”
He smiled back at her and asked, “Did you like them? I was taking a chance, hoping that they were a flower that you fancied.”
