Leave it to Georgie to kink up the conversation.
“Me too.” Mom nods her way.
I filled both Georgie and Mom in on the fact I knew little to zilch on Jasper’s old flame, right after I informed them that I didn’t care a thing about his past.
It was right about then Fish asked me how it felt to lie to my mother.
And it felt pretty awful.
Hadley shakes her head. “I’ll leave those details to Dizzy.”
“It’s Bizzy,” I’m quick to correct her. “Camila just can’t seem to get it right.”
Hadley covers her mouth a moment. “Sorry. Camila can be a bit catty, can’t she? Boy, she never liked me. Or at least it seems she didn’t up until she sank her claws into Jasper herself. Anyway, what’s your story about?”
“Oh, um—” Good grief, think of something quick. “It’s a romance between a baker and two different suitors.” I happen to have a friend out in Honey Hollow who’s living the real deal. Lottie Lemon is transmundane like me, but her ability is referred to as supersensual. “She’s dating both a hot judge and a hot homicide detective, and she has the supernatural ability to see the dead—mostly furry creatures who have crossed the rainbow bridge and have come back to help find the killer of their former owner.”
She winces. “Wow, that’s dark. Maybe go light on that whole killing thing and focus on the romance?” A goofy grin takes over her face as she sighs. “I hope you don’t mind if I’m honest with you, but Jasper has been my muse for as long as I’ve been writing romances.”
Mom and Georgie lean our way.
Georgie nods. “Go on, Toots. Fill in a couple of blanks. How exactly do you use him as your muse? I bet you named your battery-operated boyfriend after him.”
Mom clucks her tongue and pulls Georgie back. “Please, she’s a lady.” She turns to Hadley. “I bet you recall all the times he gave you flowers or held your hand on a walk along the shore.”
My stomach churns just thinking of Jasper doing either of those things with anyone but me. And if I’m being truthful, I’d prefer he did them with Camila over Hadley. This woman is sheer perfection. She’s beautiful, intelligent, and doesn’t seem to have a single screw lose. She’s a triple threat.
Camila is more or less an obvious train wreck with more loose screws than the local hardware store.
Hadley leans in. “Don’t think less of me, but I tend to do a bit more than that. Let’s face it, Jasper Wilder is the perfect man.” She fans herself with her fingers, and I can feel the breeze as well. “He’s got that demanding black hair, those dreamy pale gray eyes, and when he smiles at you, it’s as if you’re the only woman on the planet.” She groans as if she were in the throes of ecstasy, and I back up a notch in the event I decide to land a right hook.
“He is a good-looking man.” Mom’s brows hike, and I can tell her radar is going off with this one. Geez, if Bizzy and Jasper we’re on the outs, I’d be worried about this. She offers me a short-lived smile. Thankfully, I’ve raised my daughters to have more confidence with men than I ever did. But then, if this chick were trying to hit on my husband back in the day, she would have caught him, hook, line, and stinker. She would be the stinker, of course, even if Nathan were sort of a stinker himself. Women always seem to blame the other woman more than we do our louse of a husband. I’d warn Bizzy about this girl, but I don’t want to be the one to sound the alarm. I think she might have some real trouble on her hands. And I’m not sure she’s up for the challenge.
Gee, thanks, Mom.
I turn back and force a smile as I look to Hadley. “His good looks certainly don’t hurt,” I say. “Go on.”
“Anyway.” She glances to her laptop. “I must have written six different love stories that star Jasper and me by now. They’re all regency period pieces, of course. I’m big on historical romance. In this one, The Duke and the Lady, Jasper is the duke.” She leans my way. “And I hope this doesn’t make you twitchy, but I’ve decided to use our real names in this manuscript. Jasper is just the perfect name for that era, and well, I’m using my nickname Haddie.”
“Sounds like the perfect pairing,” I frown as I say it.
Georgie leans in hard and squints at the woman with suspicion. “Let me get this straight. You’ve already written six different romances with Jasper Wilder as your leading man?”
“That’s right,” Hadley freely admits.
Georgie nods my way. This one has a pair of real cookies on her, Bizzy.
She’s got that right.
“A period romance?” I look to the woman and my eyes fall to her ruby red lips, and I wonder how many times Jasper did just that. “Sounds like a good time.” A killer good time. And I’ll gladly add the homicide component to this story.
“Oh, I love historical romance,” she raves. “They’re so much fun to write. You should take a stab at it. You could write about Jasper and live the dream. Jasper and I always thought we’d have a big family.” Her lids lower a notch. “Well, you know. Anyway, I always give us a happy ending in each book, and I even include a little epilogue where I introduce our blooming brood. I always include Montgomery in each one. That would have been our son. And Samantha and Patrice. I always thought we’d have girls, too, one day.”
“Lovely,” I flatline. I don’t even have names picked out for my imaginary children with Jasper. “So is that what you’re working on now? The regency piece starring Jasper?”
“Yup. But I’m just nitpicking. It’s all done and polished. I’ve even had two different editors go over it. I was about to have it done through Patterson, but things didn’t turn out well for him last night.”
“Patterson?” I shake my head. “Was he an editor, too?”
She shakes her head. “No, he was a publisher. But Jasper probably already knows that. He’s investigating the case,” she says it in such a way as if she were informing me. “If I had known he would have been there last night…” Her eyes flit to the window behind me. I sure as hell wouldn’t have chosen that night to deal with Patterson Higgins. She blows out a steady breath. “But Jasper, well, he caught me off guard.” And I caught him off guard. I knew I was in trouble as soon as he asked the hard questions. I took one look into those starry eyes of his and I couldn’t hold back. I told him the words I’ve always wanted to tell him. A part of me wanted to tell him for all the right reasons—but that stubborn part of me won and I told him for all the wrong reasons. Her eyes graze over my features. And to think this is the woman I was hoping he’d dump last night as he magically ended up in my arms once again.
I gasp without meaning to.
“Everything okay?” She wrinkles her nose my way and looks all that much more adorable. And I can’t stand her all the more because of it.
“Everything is fine,” I grunt. “I just had a great idea for a historical romance myself.” I frown her way. “A hardworking inn owner who finds love with a handsome homicide detective.” I would’ve added the tidbit about my main character having the ability to read minds, but it already hits a little too close to home.
“Sounds lovely.” Any trace of a smile glides right off her face. And far too reality-based for me to be interested in.
I thought so.
Georgie raps her knuckles over the table. “So what kinda heat level are we talking about, missy? Open doors? Closed? Fade to black with a smidge of deliciousness?”
“No fading to black for me.” She giggles like a schoolgirl and my mother joins along in the chortle fest.
“Mom.” I look back at the traitor.
“What? I was thinking about Romero.” She tosses up a hand before busying herself with her notebook and quickly jotting down whatever trashy thoughts come to mind, I’m sure.
“Go on,” Georgie is quick to spur on the flirty redhead who doesn’t mind admitting to lusting after my man.
“Oh, I cover it all. There’s nothing too down and dirty for me to omit.” She sighs brazenly. “Boy, do I really miss his kisses.” A sickly
moan escapes her. “Doesn’t Jasper just have the softest lips?” She looks to me and I give a circular nod in lieu of strangling her.
I take back what I said. This woman has far less brain cells than Camila Ryder. Camila might be a snake in the grass, but this woman is flying way too close to the sun.
“And that body?” She moans twice as hard. “Anyway, I spend weeks crafting our love scenes, and I make sure to include at least nine in each book.”
“Nine?” I muse. “Sounds exhausting.”
“Well, you know what a tiger he can be in bed.” She claws her hand my way and lets out a roar as she laughs.
“Yes, I do.” And I’m not laughing.
“Both of my editors agree that my love scenes were some of the steamiest they have ever seen. One of those scenes goes on for forty-two pages.”
“Just forty-two?” I cock a brow at the insanity of it all.
Georgie snickers. “So when can I get my hot little hands on a copy of this steamy read?”
I shoot Georgie a look. “I’m sure it’s a long way from publication.”
“No, no, no.” Hadley waves me off. “I happen to have a few advanced copies I can give each of you. It’s not the final copy. I’m still fiddling with that, but it’s close. I trust you with it. I mean, it’s not like you’re going to swipe my work. Besides, I can use all the feedback I can get. I’m looking into self-publishing it now.”
“Interesting,” I say. “What was it that Patterson did again?”
“He owned Higgins House. It’s a small press. He had a ton of authors working under him. He was very close to securing my contract.” And to think I was about to do that with my body. Her cheeks turn crimson. I’m not thrilled about what happened. Jasper made me do it. Just seeing him brought those old feelings alive in me. Too bad Bizzy is in the way. But, like Camila said, most marriages end in divorce. Come to think of it, maybe I will take Jasper up on that lunch date.
Lunch date?
I straighten in horror. What the hell is happening?
Georgie points her way. “Is that why you offed the guy?” She winks. “Because he wasn’t interested in your regency porn?”
I couldn’t have phrased it better myself.
“No.” Hadley looks flustered, but she laughs nonetheless. “I can assure you I had no part in his demise.” Okay, so I had a part in it, but those words are not ever leaving my mouth. “If anyone had a reason to off him, it was Devan.”
“Devan Abner?” I pull back because she’s just caught me off guard.
She nods before taking a sip of her iced latte. “That was his ex-wife. They claim to have had one of those new agey conscious uncouplings, but the tension and the bitterness last night were palpable. Something was brewing, that’s for sure. As soon as she agreed to let him choose the selection and show his face at the Grim Readers, I thought something was off. I thought to myself, that woman is up to no good.”
Sort of like you, I want to say but flex a dry smile instead.
“Do you think Devan was capable of murder?” I ask.
She gives a quick glance around. “Not under normal circumstances. But he was pushing her.”
“In what way?”
She shakes her head. “You’ll have to ask her.”
“Where do you think I can find her?”
“She’s a mushroom farmer.” She shrugs. “Weird, right? I think she mentioned her place was out in Bramble Point. Abner Farms.” She nods. “She went into business with a few of her friends. Organic mushroom farming.” She makes a face. “Odd career choice. But she likes books, and that’s what keeps us tethered.” Patterson kept us tethered, too, just not in any way either of us wanted. She sighs as she reaches into her bag and produces three large paperbacks. “Here are those advanced reader copies I promised.” She passes one out to each of us, and I take a moment to look at the cover. It’s a blonde who looks remarkably like Hadley herself, and the male model looks as if he could be one of Jasper’s brothers. She’s wearing a corseted red dress and his hands are precariously close to second base. “I’m just dying for you to read my book.”
Mom and Georgie dive right on in, and I’m tempted to do so myself.
The class wraps up, and I collect Fish before we leave.
How did it go, Bizzy? Fish mewls in my arms as we get into the car.
“It went exceptionally well, and just as terrible. But mostly terribly,” I tell her.
Mom laughs. “Don’t worry, Bizzy. I won’t envision Jasper in all those steamy scenes as I read the book. I’ll be thinking about Romero.”
“Oddly, that doesn’t make me feel too much better.”
“Heads-up, Biz,” Georgie says as we buckle up. “I’ll be envisioning you and Jasper just the way God intended.”
“Too bad Hadley didn’t intend it to be that way.”
I have a feeling I’m not going to like this book, and I haven’t even hit page one.
Here’s hoping it doesn’t give me nightmares.
Something tells me it will.
Chapter 7
“Regency porn,” I say as I close the book on my lap.
What’s that? Clyde yowls as she jumps from the sofa and prances over to where Sherlock is curled up by the hearth.
Bizzy is reading about kissy stuff. Fish lashes my arm with her tail as she sits beside me. Jasper and Bizzy love to engage in it. One of these days they’re going to bring a litter into this world because of it, too.
“Apparently, Lady Haddie beat me to it,” I say.
Sherlock barks. Don’t worry, Bizzy. My father sired many litters. I’m sure Jasper has a few more in him, too.
“Wonderful.”
I give an irritated glance around at the tiny cottage we’ve called home together ever since we got hitched last July. It was my cottage before Jasper and Sherlock moved in, and yet it wasn’t until they took up residence here that it started to feel like a home. It’s small and cozy with its frilly shabby chic curtains and a couple of yellow and white plaid sofas. There are wood floors with a fuzzy rug over them in the living room, and a simple dining room. It’s not much, but it’s more than enough for the two of us, and we’ve been happy here. Or at least I have. For all I know, Jasper could have spent his nights ruminating over Lady Haddie—the movie star that got away.
“It’s as if I’ve been living with a stranger,” I say to no one in particular and Sherlock barks.
Jasper’s no stranger, Bizzy. The freckled cutie makes his way over. I’ve never seen him sniff another woman quite the way he’s sniffed you.
“Did you know Hadley?” Suddenly I’m interested in any intel Sherlock might have.
She was before my time. He rests his head on the floor and Clyde jumps up on his back. She really seems to like that position—almost as much as Lady Haddie seems to like it when it comes to Duke Wilder. Hadley was shameless in her exploitation of my husband. Or should I say sexploitation? Camila brought her up a time or two, though. She was always angry about her, too.
“Sounds as if Camila was jealous.”
Sherlock gives a soft bark. Jasper used to say that ‘Jealous’ was Camila’s middle name.
“Great. I wonder what he’ll say about me.”
Bizzy. Fish swats me with her tail once again. Jasper adores you. He’s not a tomcat. I can’t see him leaving you for this lady.
“Oh, she’s no lady.” A laugh rises in my throat. “Not in the traditional sense anyway. Not after what I subjected my eyes and my mind to.”
The door handle jiggles and all eyes shift in that direction.
He’s here! Fish yowls as she hops off the sofa and darts behind Sherlock. Don’t throw anything breakable. I’d hate to tiptoe around sharp objects.
“Don’t worry,” I tell her. “A book is the best weapon for a woman in my position. And lucky for me, I’ve got just the literary tome.”
Jasper walks in looking impossibly handsome with the scruff on his cheeks a little thicker than usual, and it only makes his eyes shi
ne all the more like lightning.
He holds up a bag of takeout from our favorite Chinese place and offers up a lopsided smile.
“Together at last,” he says, sounding a bit fatigued.
“I bet you say that to all of the women you share a meal with.” Like the lunch date he’s about to have with you know who.
“What’s that?” He frowns a little as he takes off his coat and heads my way. He lands a kiss to my forehead before sitting down next to me. “Hungry?”
“Not particularly.”
Jasper is just about to dig into the bag when he stops midflight and his eyes flit my way.
“Why do I get the feeling I’m in trouble?”
Sherlock barks. Because you’re a smart man, Jasper. Now run to the bedroom and lock yourself in it before Bizzy breaks something.
Jasper’s lips twitch as he studies Sherlock before reverting his gaze to me.
“Why is Sherlock giving me that warning bark of his? Should I be wearing a helmet?”
Clyde belts out a sharp meow. You’re right, Sherlock. He is smart. I bet that’s where you get all of your smarts, too. She licks a line up the side of his face and a yodeling sound comes from him.
Oh, for goodness’ sake. Fish sighs. Get on with it, Bizzy, or none of us will eat tonight.
I knew I should have fed them the minute we walked through the door.
“Bizzy?” Jasper lands the food on the coffee table and turns to face me fully.
The warm scent of his cologne makes my heart break, and suddenly I want to sob for the Jasper I knew two days ago who I didn’t think was keeping a single secret from me. Not that I asked for an inventory of exes when we met. But in hindsight, I probably should have.
“How is the case?” I ask and our eyes lock a moment too long.
He shakes his head. “This isn’t about the case. What’s happening? Is it the inn? Did something go wrong with a guest?”
“It’s very much about the case.” I take a quick breath. “I questioned my prime suspect today.”
Lock, Stock, and Feral Page 6
