by Lisa Heaton
Colin said to Elias who stood watching with him, “I’ve often considered your description of her when you returned. I’ve come to believe every word. She is truly a joy to be around, as well as headstrong and a tease.”
While he did not mention it, he thought of Elias’s observation that she was quietly tender, how that beneath her confident exterior there was a much-too-tender place. He had seen proof of that just the night before as he wrapped her in her red blanket. There was a sweet tenderness in her eyes as she had admitted that he hurt her once again. That was never his intention, and gripped his heart still.
Colin turned to Elias. “I don’t know that I’ve ever received counsel as wise as yours, to befriend her. I thank you for that.”
Elias sighed. “I’m glad that you’ve listened, sir. Today proves that you are caring for her well. She needed this, to be among the people and to see whom her sacrifice is for.”
For a moment Colin said nothing. Eventually, when the commander said no more, he couldn’t help but ask, “What do you consider is her sacrifice?”
“Being second to the woman you love. That’s the greatest sacrifice one could ask of any woman.”
“I wonder, Commander, if she will always feel that way, that this life is a sacrifice.”
“I suppose that depends on you, sir.”
Elias cleared his throat and excused himself.
Colin went to where Isabel was standing as she looked out at the water. She seemed to have had enough of playing in the water, so now she just gazed out at the horizon, clearly in deep thought.
“Is it all you thought it would be?”
She hugged herself. “All and more.”
“I’ve enjoyed watching your reaction.”
“I could live right here beside the sea. I love the smell and the taste of my salty lips from the breeze. It’s peaceful.”
“It is.”
Colin stood for a moment without speaking. The scene from the city kept coming to mind, how Isabel had taken the child into her arms so tenderly and naturally.
“Do you have a love for children?”
A smile formed on her lips. “I do. Wasn’t she precious?”
“She was.”
Colin was relieved at the thought that this woman would be the mother of his children.
“What did you say to the mother?”
“I just tried to encourager her.”
“But what did you say specifically?”
“I said, ‘You’re doing a fine job, Mama.’”
Colin turned to her. “You never cease to amaze me. I saw you give her money.”
“Did you notice how thin she is?”
Nodding, he said he did.
“We should do more here. I know the ship-owners determine the wages, but surely there’s something more that can be done.”
He took her hand and gave it a gentle squeeze. “We will think of something.”
***
During her moments alone, while she had danced in the water, Isabel thought of little else but Colin and Elias and wondered what they were discussing as they looked on. This day must be so difficult for Elias, being so near yet unable to express his feelings. For her, being with him was an unexpected gift. Any moment that she thought she might get away with it, she had glanced at him. Every time she did, she found him looking at her, too. Each time, the expression of love for her was so well hidden that she almost questioned it. No matter what she saw, though, she had the assurance of his love since she could hear his sweet words ringing in her ears still.
Once, when they were walking along the street, she felt his hand brush against hers, a reminder of his love for her. When it happened, his fingers stroked the palm of her hand. Though she turned to him and smiled, he wasn’t looking at her.
Now, after her conversation with Colin, the two were standing together again near the horses. Even from so far away, she could see the strained expression on Elias’s face. Colin didn’t have a clue, but she could see it there. Elias was upset.
At the very moment Colin had taken her hand, she wondered what that must have done to Elias. She had moved a little in order to withdraw her hand from Colin's without seeming obvious. Because she knew Colin’s intentions, that he was only being a friend and no more, she didn’t read anything into the fact that he had done so. He did it often, especially while at the supper table. He seemed naturally affectionate.
From Elias’s perspective, though, Isabel had to wonder what it seemed. It must have hurt him as he watched what appeared to be an intimate moment between them. Even out of the corner of her eye she saw him turn away. That moment broke her heart for the man who loved her back together each time she fell to pieces. His heart was exceptionally tender toward her, and she would never do anything to damage the heart he had given her.
The ride back to the palace was a quiet one. Isabel’s mind was continually on Elias and his detachment from her. She felt it. He was hurt and trying to safeguard his heart. Early on, she made a comment or two to him, but his answers were abrupt. Neither time was she offended by his reaction to her. If anything, she was all the more hurt for him. There were moments when she was overcome with alarm as she wondered if he might turn from her all together. If he did, he had every right. The fact that she would expect enduring love from this man amidst her circumstance was selfish to begin with. How could she claim to love him yet bind him to a life without the hope of ever having the woman he loved?
“Are you tired?” Colin said to Isabel.
“Only a little.” After answering Colin’s question, she glanced at Elias, but he never turned her way. Tears burned her eyes, so she looked down and blinked them away.
“You’re unusually quiet.”
“I don’t mean to be.”
Colin said no more but simply rode in silence as she and Elias did.
When the party arrived at the palace, Elias rode on past the royal stables after saying only a few words. Isabel watched him leave with a heavy heart. He wasn’t angry; he was hurting. Because he was, she was. The fact that he would allow her to create such vulnerability in him gave her reason to love and adore him all the more.
Colin assisted Isabel as she dismounted from the stallion.
“Something has you unsettled.”
She forced a weak smile. “Maybe I’m more tired than I realized. Who knew the sea could be so exhausting.”
“I will walk you in so that you may rest for a while.”
“No need to walk with me. I will see you later for supper.”
Without a further word, Isabel turned and left Colin standing alone in the stable.
Isabel found Fina in her new room just down the hall from her own. When she went in and closed the door, she found her friend there sitting beside the bed. It was obvious by her countenance that she wasn’t happy.
“I’m sorry.”
Fina smiled at her queen. “Sorry for what?”
“For forcing you into this. Clearly you aren’t happy. I’ve made you unhappy just so that I will have your companionship.”
“I’m not unhappy. Actually, the more I’ve thought of it, the more I want to be there by your side. You can use the support.”
“More than you know.” Isabel grinned. “Did they measure you for your gowns today?”
“They did. Soon, I will be a snooty lady just like the rest of you.”
“Good. I need a snooty friend.”
Even before they left for the sea that morning, Colin had met with his advisors and told them what he was doing for Fina. From what he told her, none seemed to take issue with his decision. Isabel smiled to herself. That wouldn’t be the case with the women of the court, specifically the wives of those same men. They would have a fit with a servant becoming a lady. Nothing could please Isabel more.
Not that night, but the next night to come, the festivities would resume in the palace. Until her gowns were ready, Fina would wear some of Isabel's. Whatever it took, Isabel was determined to have Fina with her a
t the next gathering.
“Something isn’t right with you.” Fina said.
“It’s nothing.”
“It's something.” Fina wasn’t going to ignore it. “Aren’t friends supposed to butt into each other’s’ lives?”
“I’m just a bit sad today. Nothing I can talk about.”
“Isabel, may I butt into your life?”
“No.”
“Stay away from him.”
“I didn’t arrange this today. He did.”
“When it’s up to you, stay away. He will only cause you more harm. Life for you is difficult enough.”
“But he loves me.”
“And you love him. That’s what frightens me for you.” Fina reached for Isabel’s hand. “I have never regretted anything more than that I asked him to comfort you the other day. I don’t know what I was thinking. You were grieving and so wounded…” She shook her head. “It was a terrible mistake. He will destroy you.”
Isabel sighed and shook her head. “I never intended for this to happen.”
“Then make it stop.”
“Then I’ll have nothing.”
Fina looked at Isabel in disbelief. “You have everything!”
“Not love.”
Isabel sat with Colin at the supper table. After several hours and a good nap, she was in much better spirits.
“You are more yourself tonight.”
“Today was emotional for me in many ways. The sea was the highlight of my day, but the poverty we encountered is haunting me still.”
“I wondered if that was what was upsetting you.”
“In part.”
“What else has bothered you?”
Something about his tone and the way he narrowed his eyes as he asked concerned her. Hers and Elias’s sudden silence would have to have caught his attention.
“Do you believe in God, Colin?”
Without hesitation, he nodded. “I do believe there is a God.”
“Yet you don’t go to church?”
“Not anymore.” He stopped eating and looked at her. “Is that what is bothering you? That I don’t go?”
She shook her head. “It’s not that. Today at the sea…” She stopped, unsure how to explain what she had felt.
“You felt God?”
“Exactly.” The feeling had disturbed her more than comforted her.
Colin said, “I would have to imagine most people feel that when standing by the sea. It’s as if it draws you in and deepens your faith.”
Her eyes widened. “You just spoke my exact feelings from before.”
“You have the freedom to attend church here. Most do.”
Isabel considered that for a moment and then shifted in her seat. God would never approve of her relationship with Elias. If she went to church, she would have to face that with Him.
Colin said, “Clearly, you are struggling with a matter of faith. If you would like to discuss what you’re feeling, I’m willing to listen.”
“That’s kind of you to offer. Some things we just have to carry alone.”
“I understand that. If anyone does, I do.”
Isabel noticed how he cast his eyes away as he spoke. Due to his loss, Colin seemed just as intent on staying away from God as she.
They both became quiet for a few minutes until the topic of Deslan came up again. Both agreed that something should be done. Colin suggested a revitalization project to begin to help its citizens. The truest dilemma was sustaining a city whose inhabitants were so grossly underpaid. When Isabel suggested that he purchase some of the shipping companies and offer better wages to the men, Colin was at first skeptical. Before long the idea began to seem like a viable option and his excitement grew over the possibilities. Rather than the crown owning the companies, he was thinking that he personally would make the purchase.
The remainder of their time at supper was spent considering ways in which the city might benefit from their help.
“This is no exaggeration, Isabel. You are the brightest woman I’ve ever known.”
Without missing a beat, she grinned. “Well, that should come as no surprise.”
Colin chuckled. “Bright and humble.”
“You’re a lucky man, Your Majesty.”
“That I am, Isabel. That I am.”
***
Much later that night Colin sat in the library thinking of Isabel. No matter how much he tried, his mind could focus on little else. While he hadn’t planned to go necessarily, come bedtime he found himself standing before her door rather than his own. Since then, he could do nothing but recall their time together. It was different this night than the night before. Maybe it was that she was more comfortable over the idea of intimacy in general or that she trusted him more; whatever it was caused her to respond to him in a way he would have never expected. Passion was a word that hardly described what happened between them. Even at the memory his heart began to race and he clutched his fists at the thought of touching her warm skin.
When he had stepped into her room, he found her in bed reading. She didn’t seem at all surprised by his arrival as she smiled warmly at him and set her book on the table near her. It was what she did next that Colin couldn’t seem to get out of his mind. Isabel climbed out of bed and came to him. Bold and unbelievably confident, she removed his shirt, took his hand, and led him over to the bed. From that moment on Colin had felt as if he were living in some hazy dream. In what he could only now call the afterglow of his time with her, he had to acknowledge the rekindling of a fire he believed long extinguished.
It was her attitude toward him that most had him perplexed. This friendship of theirs was beyond his comprehension, and her acceptance of it constantly caused him to marvel at her. Even while she must feel rejected, she was kind and understanding. How could she not feel rejected?
There was a part of him that kept waiting for the worst to happen. He half expected her to begin to throw a fit about his lack of deep affection for her or demand that he love her. Instead, she spoke to him as a friend, gave herself to him as a lover, and desired to rule next to him as his queen. How could this perfect blend of woman be real and not fantasy?
As it was up to him, he would do his best to make Isabel never regret what the commander had called her sacrifice.
Chapter 12
Isabel watched Fina’s face after the comment was made, hoping her friend would hold her tongue. She had been attending with her for three weeks and in all that time, Isabel had never been as concerned as she was at this moment. Many times Fina had been annoyed, but tonight she was livid. Since arriving in Kidian, Isabel had become accustomed to snide remarks spoken under the breath of petty women. Fina had yet to adjust. The woman they had both overheard had no idea they were so near. It was easier to simply move away than to address the woman or cause conflict.
“I don’t care, Fina.” Isabel grabbed her friend’s hand and tried to drag her away.
“I care!” Fina said through clenched teeth.
“Excuse me.” Fina tapped Margot’s shoulder with a sharp stabbing motion. “Since the woman you’ve just insulted happens to be the queen of this kingdom, an apology is in order at once.”
Isabel reached for Fina’s arm. “Please don’t make a scene. Her opinion doesn’t matter to me.”
“It matters to me.” Fina wasn’t about to back down, and the fact that a crowd was gathering didn’t hinder her in the slightest. “You will apologize to your queen at once!”
Colin appeared and Isabel looked up at him trying to read the expression on his face. He may have been angry that Fina was causing a scene.
“What requires an apology?” Colin was looking at Fina.
“This woman just said the most disrespectful and hurtful thing about your queen. I won’t stand for it.” Fina stomped her foot.
Colin looked at Isabel. “What was said?”
“Nothing of any importance.”
“I disagree!” Fina glared at Margot. “Will you tell the king wha
t you said or shall I?”
By this point a large crowd had gathered, and Isabel’s hands trembled. She grabbed Colin’s arm and leaned in. “Please put an end to this. I could just die of embarrassment.”
Colin looked at Isabel, acknowledging her statement, then directed his gaze toward the woman, “What you said doesn’t matter.” His voice was raised and his fists clenched.
He paused for a second. This time when he spoke, he did so with more control. “It’s the fact that you would dare to say anything derogatory at all. Isabel is the kindest woman to have ever blessed Kidian with her presence. I assure you, you will never be in a position to speak ill of her again. You will never darken the doors of her palace after tonight.”
He scanned the crowd of onlookers. “The same goes for any who dare to speak ill of my wife. You are invited into our home as a privilege, not a right. For years I have entertained and fed you, and what thanks do I get?” He shook his head. “What respect do you pay me? How dare you!”
Isabel looked on, her only desire to run from the spectacle they were all making. Colin was once again so angry that his face was crimson and his veins at his temples were bulging. Before he could say anymore, Elias stepped forward and took hold of the woman’s arm.
“I will see her out the door, Your Majesty.”
Margot began to cry as the commander dragged her away. Close behind, clearly ashamed of her actions, her husband followed along. Others around stood in stunned silence, watching the climax of the story.
Isabel let out a soft sigh that her words weren’t repeated for all to hear.
Fina’s and then Colin’s reactions had so surprised her, for a moment she couldn’t say a word. Then when Elias appeared and took the woman away, tears sprang to her eyes. More than being embarrassed, she was touched at the way the three had taken a stand. While she was used to being talked down to, tonight's remarks had wounded her in a way no one could possibly know. What made this night worse was that the woman’s comments were true.
