by Lisa Heaton
With a sense of unease, she moved toward the front of the chapel, dragging her hand along pew after pew. She came to sit in the front row and looked up at the massive cross. Something about the sight of it made her heart beat faster, and a sense of being home filled her spirit. Although she had intentionally refused God access to her heart and situation over the past weeks, she had found herself missing Him and the closeness she had once felt toward Him. Now, He felt unbearably near. She knew His direction for her, and it wasn’t at all what she wanted for herself.
Deep within, she longed to love Colin, to simply give in and permit her heart to become his. It was exactly what she knew God was asking of her as He spoke whispers that she continually ignored. What was preventing her from doing so was the sure knowledge that Colin would decimate her heart if she gave in. All that protected her was Elias. With that reminder, Isabel stood and left the chapel in a hurry.
Able to avoid any contact with Colin, Isabel moved up to her room. By this time of morning, he would already have had his breakfast and been meeting with his advisors or been in some other way disposed. Most days, after they shared breakfast alone, she rarely saw him until supper. Unless there was some special circumstance, this was the flow of every ordinary day.
Upon entering her room, Isabel stopped in her tracks when she found a new piece of furniture. There near the fireplace was a chaise lounge, one she recognized from Colin’s study. Her first thought was how kind it was of him to do such a thing and it momentarily softened her attitude over the night before. Then she noticed the other thing Colin had left for her. On her pillow was a beautiful necklace with a large sapphire pendant. Isabel reached for it and traced her finger along the extraordinary jewel. She had never seen anything quite as lovely.
Instead of picking it up and putting it on, she sat on the side of the bed and looked at it. It hardly pleased her. Just as he had sent the clothiers to create a new wardrobe the morning after their wedding night, he was trying to soothe his own guilty conscience. This wasn’t about her feelings; it was about his.
The mixed feelings he created with his actions was something that Isabel was wearing thin of. One minute he acted as if he cared for her, the next he was putting his pants on and leaving her feeling used and hurt. Now, with the addition of the gift, she felt paid for.
That thought no more crossed her mind when Mary entered the room.
“Excuse me, Your Majesty. I will return later.”
“No, Mary. Come in.”
In a fit of anger, Isabel snatched the necklace from the pillow and went to Mary.
“I have a gift for you.”
Mary stared at her queen wide-eyed. “I cannot accept a gift, ma’am.”
“You can and you will.” Isabel grasped Mary’s shoulder and spun her around. “Now stand still.”
Mary did as she was instructed with her usual about-to-jump-out-of-her-skin expression.
“This is my gift to you.” When Mary looked back at her, Isabel said, “You are not to give this back under any circumstances. Do you hear me?”
“Yes ma’am.” Mary lifted the pendant to admire it.
“I don’t care what anyone says. I forbid you to give it back.”
***
Colin sat staring at his mother’s pendant as it dangled from the maid’s neck. Then he turned his attention to an unusually quiet Gerard, who stood shaking his head in disapproval.
When Colin looked back at the girl, he found she had watery eyes as if fearing she had done something wrong. Even with the poor girl’s distress, he couldn’t help but smile in semi-amusement at Isabel’s well-played hand.
“So, the queen has forbidden you to give the necklace back?” When the maid nodded and gripped the stone with her fingers, he said, “I insist that you strictly follow my wife’s orders.”
He stood and descended the stairs. “Did she forbid you from selling it?”
The woman’s eyes were wide and unblinking. “No, sir. She made no mention of it.”
“Then may I purchase the necklace from you for a fair price?”
“Of course, Your Majesty.”
Later in the afternoon Colin looked up to find his wife approaching.
“Leave us.” Colin stood.
Isabel drew nearer, her head held high in an air of indifference.
“I missed you at breakfast this morning,” Colin said as he stepped from his throne and moved down the steps to where Isabel waited.
“I had an early breakfast.”
“Yes, I know.”
Colin’s heart was pounding so hard that it stole his breath. Her nearness always did that to him.
“I’m here to ask you to please stop giving me gifts when you feel guilty.”
“I admit I do feel guilty that I hurt you once again. That wasn’t the reason for the gift, however. I wanted you to have it and had already planned to give it to you.”
“I suppose you know that I gave it away.”
“I do know that.” He had to hide a grin.
When he said no more than that, Isabel sighed. “You say you want me to be honest with you.”
“Always.”
“It made me feel paid for.”
There was no more humor in the moment. Colin reached for her, but she took a step back. “Isabel…”
“I would rather not discuss it any further. Just know that when we have troubles, the solution isn’t a guilty gift. It only makes me feel worse than the original offense. Please don’t do that again.”
Before he could say anything more, she turned and walked away.
Nothing about Colin’s day was as he had planned. The deputy from Artilan was delayed, so the situation at their mutual borders was still to be determined. They were to have met earlier, but now it seemed the man wouldn’t arrive until the following day.
At the moment Colin sat at the head of the massive table and stared at his wife’s empty seat. It seemed evident she wasn’t coming to supper. While the other guests chattered away, Colin could do nothing but wonder about Isabel and how she was feeling after their conversation earlier. Her words, that the gift made her feel paid for, had followed him throughout the remainder of the day. All along he had admired her for her honesty, but now it broke his heart for her.
Isabel entered the room, greeting guests as she made her way to her place next to Colin.
“Forgive me for being late.” She gave no reason and sat.
When she never turned to address him, Colin watched Isabel as she attempted to pretend that she wasn’t hurt still. Most obvious to him at the moment was her bare neck. She was making a statement. Any other night she would wear something, even if it was a locket that belonged to her mother.
In an attempt to speak to her privately, he tried to rest his hand on hers but noticed how she discreetly moved it before he could make contact.
“I’m glad you came. I wondered if you would.”
She barely cast a glance at him. “Of course I came. I wouldn’t miss supper.”
Colin leaned in, took hold of her arm, and pulled her closer. “I’m sorry.”
“You have no need to be sorry, Colin. Never once have you misled me. You even went as far as to ensure that I had no expectations upon my arrival. Last night was simply a reminder of my purpose here.”
“Don’t say that.” The reminder of Margot’s words – that Isabel’s purpose was to be on her back – made his cheeks burn with anger once again.
Isabel shook her head. “Colin,” she placed her hand on his. “My purpose is to be queen.”
Throughout the remainder of the meal, Isabel seemed genuinely unaffected. She laughed and joked as she usually would. Colin watched her, trying to decide if she was feigning this delightful mood, but it seemed genuine to him. On occasion she would say something to him that would cause him to chuckle. Surprisingly, she seemed fine, more so than he was.
After supper and while all were gathering in the dance hall, Colin was informed that the deputy from Artilan had arriv
ed and would attend the dance once he changed from his travel clothes. This wasn’t at all what he wanted for the night. The matter the deputy was there to discuss was not only a delicate matter, but it was one that Colin didn’t have the full mental capacity to deal with this evening. His every thought was focused instead on Isabel and trying to ensure she wasn’t still hurt or angry. Even though she appeared to be in good spirits, he remained uneasy.
Isabel came to stand by his side. “Something distressing has happened?”
“Not distressing.” He thought better of that statement. “Well, slightly distressing.”
“What?”
“The deputy from Artilan has arrived this evening.”
“Why is that slightly distressing?”
“We have unpleasant matters to discuss. Nothing I want to deal with tonight.”
“What matters?”
Colin looked at Isabel and thought of her earlier comment that her purpose was to be queen. She was right, and because she was queen, he wanted to include her in issues that mattered.
“There have been skirmishes at our borders. He is here so that we might come to some resolution.”
“But you don’t want to discuss it with him tonight?”
“Absolutely not. He was supposed to arrive much earlier. Tonight is not the time. It’s a sensitive matter.”
“Tell me more about it.”
“It’s a subject unfit for tender ears.”
Colin wasn’t being evasive; instead, he genuinely didn’t want to give Isabel the unpleasant details. He hadn’t expected this level of curiosity on her part and now regretted saying as much as he had.
“That’s ridiculous. Whatever has caused the skirmishes can’t be so bad that you can’t tell me.”
“It is. Trust me on this.”
“I trust you, but I think you underestimate me.”
He shook his head and chuckled. “I never underestimate you. That I promise.”
“Trust that I can handle it. Just don’t give gruesome details.”
Colin sighed, knowing she wouldn’t let up until he told. “A girl in Artilan was hurt by a Kidian man.”
“Hurt?” She lowered her voice. “You mean raped?”
“Yes.”
“Has the man been punished?”
“I don’t know the entire story, but what I do know is that it is more complicated than it seems. From what I’ve been told, it was a case of mistaken identity. The girl was thought to be a…” He paused.
“He thought she was a prostitute?”
“His brothers did and brought her to him, or at least that’s one version of the story.”
“Did she try to explain?”
“She was too frightened to say anything.”
“How old is she?”
“Sixteen. The boy has only recently turned seventeen.”
Isabel sighed and her face fell. “How tragic for her.”
Colin studied Isabel’s expression, how hurt she seemed by the idea of a stranger’s pain. “It is tragic.”
“There’s more. You aren’t telling me the whole truth.”
“The girl is pregnant.” Colin himself could hardly believe the rest of the story. “Her parents are insisting the young man marry her.”
Isabel gasped. “How could they want that for her?”
“They are a poor family with many children. They can’t afford another mouth to feed. It’s either marry her off or turn her out to fend for herself.”
Before she could say any more, Colin reached for her arm. “He’s here now. His name is Thomas, and from what I hear, he isn’t a pleasant fellow. If you would like, I think you will find Fina’s company more enjoyable.”
Upon Thomas’s approach, before either of the men could speak, Isabel stretched out her hand. “Thomas, welcome. I’m Isabel.”
Thomas stood for a few seconds staring at the extended hand. Finally, breaking into a broad grin, he reached for it and drew it to his lips.
“Queen Isabel, it’s a pleasure to meet you. I regret that I was unable to attend your wedding.”
Colin was amused at the man’s reaction to Isabel. He had yet to see a man who wasn’t affected by her sweet smile and large brown eyes. He grinned as he watched the exchange and the expertise with which Isabel drew him in while batting her eyes as if she didn’t know her own power over him.
“You should regret it. It was a magnificent wedding.” She grinned at Thomas. “Why, the train of my dress was so long that it flowed down the palace steps, through the gates, and all along the main street of the village nearby.” She glanced at Colin as she continued. “It was quite a sight as people were tripping over the train and falling. I laughed the entire day. ”
Thomas looked at her for a second in amusement and then finally chuckled aloud. “I’m sure that was quite a day.”
“It was.” She smiled at him. “If I ever marry again, you’ll have to come. Adventure seems to follow me.”
“I can assure you, I will, Queen Isabel. I’ve never seen a train so long or people tripping at a royal wedding. I wouldn’t miss it.”
Colin extended his hand toward Thomas, grateful to Isabel for tempering their first encounter. So far, their correspondence over the matter at hand had been anything but cordial.
“Beware, she never lets the truth get in the way of a good story.”
Thomas turned to the king. “Your Majesty, I believe you may have your hands full with this bride of yours.”
“You believe correctly.”
“May I dance this evening with your lovely queen?”
Before Colin could answer, Isabel spoke up. “The king hasn’t a jealous bone in his body. He doesn’t mind at all if I dance.” She once again held out her hand to Thomas. “I love the song playing now.”
Nothing more was said before an eager Thomas whisked Isabel away and onto the dance floor, leaving Colin there looking on. From the moment Thomas took Isabel into his arms, Colin found himself unsettled as he shifted from foot to foot watching the pair glide across the floor. Thomas was an attractive man and knew it. Even from across the room Colin could see that Thomas was flirting with his wife and found it disrespectful.
The longer he watched, he found it was the way Isabel was smiling up at Thomas that caused him to come nearly unraveled. Never once had he found a quality about his wife that he didn’t like. He feared one had just presented itself. It appeared that she was flirting with this man in order to make him jealous. While it was undoubtedly working, still, Colin found it an undesirable and surprising side of the woman he had considered to be perfect so far.
Not for one moment did he take his eyes off his wife while in the arms of that man. Then the song ended. When the next song began and while Colin anticipated they would dance again, he watched as she shook her head at Thomas and accepted an invitation from another partner.
Soon enough Thomas returned to where Colin stood, still glowing in the aftermath of having Isabel in his arms.
“Did you enjoy your dance with my wife?”
“More than you might appreciate. I asked to dance another only to discover that your wife has the one-time rule.”
“One-time rule?”
“She will dance with any man only once per evening, out of respect to her husband, of course. Disappointing for those who aren’t her husband.”
Colin didn’t reply. Instead he watched Isabel move to the music in the arms of another. He hadn’t noticed that she had such a rule but found it very much like her. Instead of discovering a trait about his wife that he didn’t like, he found yet another that made him admire her more.
***
The light tap on Isabel’s door caused her to stop and listen carefully, unsure if she had heard anything at all. It sounded again. Since Colin had never knocked before, she had to assume it wasn’t him, so she went and tentatively opened the door and peeked out. It was Colin after all, standing there smiling down at her.
She swung the door open. “Why are you knocking
?”
“I thought it best that I did.”
“You never need to knock.”
“I’ll remember that next time.”
When she began to turn, he reached for her arm. “I’m not coming in.”
“Oh.” She stood looking at him, wondering why else he was there if not to go to bed with her.
“Are you angry with me for any reason? Do I have anything to feel guilty about tonight?”
The grin on his face assured her he was teasing, so she shook her head. “Nothing I can think of.”
“So if I give you a gift, it can just be a gift and not a guilty gift?”
“It can be.”
“I bought you an extravagant gift today and couldn’t wait another minute to give it to you.” Colin held out the necklace.
Isabel reached out and touched the pendant. “I know a girl who has one just like this.”
Colin stepped inside, slid his hands beneath her hair, and wrapped the necklace around her neck.
Isabel could hardly look up at him for fear of giving her heart away.
“They must be common around the palace if you know a girl with one,” he said with a twinkle in his eye.
Isabel looked down at the gem, admiring how beautiful it was. “I’m sorry.”
“You have nothing to be sorry about.”
He reached out and touched the stone. “It was my mother’s. She would want you to have it.”
She had assumed Colin had given her a necklace that belonged to his late wife. Now that she knew different, she stepped into Colin and wrapped her arms around his waist. “I’m so sorry that I gave it away. I had no idea it was your mother’s. I will treasure it now.”
“I’m so sorry that I keep hurting you. That’s the last thing I want.” He kissed her atop the head. “You were never paid for. I have never considered you that way. You know that, don’t you?”
His voice was hypnotic and his words sincere. She nodded but didn’t trust her voice to reply.
For a moment more he held her to him. When he did step away, he moved back through the doorway. “I wouldn’t dare stay and be accused of trying to buy your affections.” He grinned at her. “The next girl you give this to may not want to sell it back to me.”
