by Lisa Heaton
They were both quiet for a moment until finally she said, “When will you leave?”
“In a few weeks, once I transfer my command over to Phillip. He will make an excellent commander.”
“Second best, but adequate.”
“Adequate is all you can expect after a man such as myself.”
“Ever humble, Commander.”
“That should come as no surprise.”
Elias knew the time had come to say goodbye, and as difficult as it was, he knew he had made the right decision. Her expression showed her relief, his exact intent.
He nodded in the direction of the tree line from which she had come. “I imagine as soon as you round that bend, you will find a loving king awaiting your return.”
“No. He said he will wait for me at the stables.”
“If I were a betting man, I would disagree. That husband of yours will be there.” He paused a moment. “Isabel, you have endured well.”
“You helped me to endure, and I thank you for your friendship. I don’t know how I would have survived otherwise.”
They both knew better. Their connection only delayed a relationship that would have come much sooner between the king and queen.
“I will assist you on your horse.”
Elias clasped his hands together in order to hoist her up. The moment she placed her foot in his hands sparked such tender memories of the first time he lifted her onto her horse that he began to choke up.
Once situated on her horse, she looked down at him with a pained expression. “Elias, I have one true regret, one sorrow to remain. I am so sorry that I hurt you. It was never my intention.”
“You have no reason for sorrow, Princess. Just count your thousand blessings. I hope that you might consider me one someday.”
“I count you as one of the best of my thousand blessings already.”
Elias had watched Isabel until she disappeared behind the tree line. To be cautious, he held himself together long enough to mount up and ride out into woods in the opposite direction of the palace. Currently, he sat on an overturned log and sobbed. Everything he had hoped to accomplish for his beloved was done. She was free.
He had held on much too long already. If only he had known how his actions had so adversely affected her, he would have made this excruciating sacrifice long before that day.
In the weeks to come, he would make arrangements to do as he had agreed to do, hand the palace over to Phillip. After that he wasn’t exactly sure what life would be like. He had spent the most part of a year with Isabel as his sole purpose. Now, he would have to try to build a new life without her in it.
Ahead of him were tremendous challenges, both the building of the outpost and the city of Deslan itself. What he did know was that he would need to surround himself with people he could trust. An unsuspecting Eric had no way of knowing it, but great favor was just about to rain down upon him. Elias had plans to prosper Eric. A young man so dedicated deserved a place of prominence.
***
Colin sat on horseback waiting for his wife. From the moment she had ridden off, he regretted allowing her to go. He owed Elias nothing. Now, as she rounded the tree line and he found she wore a peaceful expression, only then could he relax.
When Isabel was close enough to him, she said, “You were more than kind.”
“I gave you my word to handle this as considerately as possible.”
“But to give him the governorship?”
“He will govern Deslan well. I have no doubt of that.”
He knew he would have occasion to have dealings with Elias and that at times his presence in the palace would be required, but those few times gave him no cause for concern compared to having the man living under the palace roof.
She grinned at him. “He won’t be so far as to be exiled but never too close to cause you concern?”
Colin smiled at how she read his precise thoughts. “Exactly.”
“You are a wise and gracious king.”
“Married to a lovely queen.”
Colin glanced at his wife and knew without question she was free. This wasn’t the outcome he had anticipated after his meeting with Elias. Today, for Isabel’s sake, Elias must have presented a brave front. Due to that fact, Colin found reason to respect him again – at least in part. Only in this moment did Colin sigh in sheer relief to have the affair over with a clean break.
When they arrived back at the palace, Colin took Isabel’s hand and led her toward the east wing, the opposite direction of their current rooms.
“Where are we going? I should go and check in on William.”
“This won’t take long. I want to show you something.”
When they reached the entry to one corridor, they found a blockade was in place to prevent anyone from entering. Colin moved the block.
“I’ve had all guests removed from this wing.”
“Whatever for?”
He led the way without answering at first. Once they reached the doors leading to the new royal chambers, he guided her through. “I am having renovations completed. This will be our new room.”
The space was vast, at least triple the size of her current room. Across the hall he showed her what would be the nursery.
“I want a fresh start for our family, for us.”
Isabel smiled up at him. “This will be lovely.”
“I am ordering all new furniture for us. No past reminders.”
She stepped into him and wrapped her arms around his waist. “I want to keep our bed. William was conceived and born there. That’s all I ask.”
Colin stood perfectly still while holding her and found he was holding his breath. He couldn’t recall the last time she had willingly been so near without him reaching for her. It reminded him of the morning after their wedding. Just as then, something undefinable stirred within him. Just as then, he found Isabel brought him peace. Even amidst the morning with Elias and her odd behavior as of late, Colin was at peace. He smiled and kissed her head.
“We will bring our bed and nothing more.”
Chapter 30
Isabel sat rocking her son, thinking about her husband. Over the past few weeks, especially since Colin had his history with Melody destroyed, he had given her every reason to believe he was committed to her and their marriage. Once she had come to that understanding, that her deepest fear was of him again retreating from her, she had begun having conversations with God about trust. Since that was the underlying problem, her trust in God, she knew that He was calling her to take the final step of giving in as well. Without much of an effort, she had loved Colin from afar upon God’s urging and even told Colin that she was his completely, but this was different. The Lord was now calling her to commit to him as a wife and allow herself to be vulnerable to whatever may come. If Colin had indeed taken Eliza as a mistress, Isabel would fight to take him back. If Colin spent the next fifty years appearing to care one day and not the next, she had to love him anyway. This wasn’t about Colin or his feelings or actions. It was about her actual surrender to God, to giving in to Him and what He asked of her.
From the very moment she arrived in Kidian, God had asked one simple thing of her, to love her husband no matter what. From the very moment she arrived, she had refused – her part in the landslide.
“How is my beautiful family?”
She smiled at Colin as he drew nearer. “One of us is full and content.”
“This handsome boy here, I’m supposing.” He leaned down and kissed Isabel first and then William.
With great care, he took William from her and held him for a moment. “This is the best part of my day, when I can steal away and come visit.”
The sight of her husband walking around the room with a small bounce in his step caused Isabel’s heart to grow warm. Never could she ask for a better father. Her father wasn’t with her and her siblings often, nor was her brother this involved with his children. To her, since those were her only experiences with fatherhood, Is
abel assumed it was natural for a king to be too busy to actually parent his children.
“I’m sure he will remain sleeping once you lay him down.” She grinned at his reluctance and moved to stand near the crib. “When you’re ready.”
Colin did eventually lay William in his crib and patted his back until he was settled back to sleep. For a moment he peered into the crib at the sleeping boy. “He’s so perfect.”
“He is.”
When Colin turned to face her, she whispered, “Thank you for my son.”
He took her by the shoulders. “Thank you for my son.” With a slight grimace, he said, “I know you want to spend every waking moment with him.”
She knew what was coming. On several occasions he had asked her to come down at night for supper and to visit with the nobles. So far, she had refused. More than anything, she didn’t want to encounter Eliza. With William only seven weeks old yesterday, she still felt doughy and was skeptical of trying to fit into an evening gown. Because she refused to have new ones made to accommodate her thicker waistline, she had instead worn looser fitting daytime dresses as she struggled to lose her apple tart weight.
“Isabel, your kingdom is clamoring for their queen.”
“I don’t think I’m ready to leave him.”
“I’m not asking you this time. I’m telling you that I expect you to join me tonight.”
“You’re ordering me then?”
He nodded. “Yes, my queen. I’m ordering you to be by my side tonight.” He leaned in close. “I miss you so much.”
“I’m sorry.” The same sense of conviction began to stir that had prompted her to return to their shared bed.
“Don’t be sorry. Just be there.”
Before she could argue or refuse, he turned and left her.
Fina pulled and pulled as Isabel held to the massive wooden bed post. Her corset was already so tight that she supposed she would faint even before reaching dessert. At least she would be able to return to her room when passed out cold.
“Not much more.” Fina huffed and yanked again as Isabel held on for dear life. “Serves you right. You’ve been wearing a glorified nightgown for almost two months while I’ve been in a corset every day.” Finally, her task was complete, so she stepped back trying to catch her breath.
“You haven’t just had a baby. I’m still all flabby and floppy.”
Fina laughed out loud at that as she approached with a spectacular sapphire blue gown. Of all of her gowns, Isabel hoped to wear this one for her first night back among the nobles.
“You will fit into your dress tonight.”
When they finally got the dress over her head and Fina synched it up in back, she spun Isabel around to face her and stood staring at her, mouth agape.
“Uh…” Fina covered her mouth to stifle a giggle.
When Isabel caught her reflection in the mirror, she gasped. “I can’t go like this.”
“You look no different than everyone else. All wear gowns cut like this.”
“All but me. I’ve never worn anything so revealing.”
Fina could only snicker at that. “Because you’ve had nothing to reveal.”
“That’s not funny.”
“I’m not joking. With a flatter chest before, you had no reason to have a higher neckline.” Fina reached for the front fabric, took hold, and tugged upward, causing Isabel’s head to bob.
“I can’t see myself for my cleavage.”
Isabel turned to the side and found she looked smaller in the waist than she had expected. “And I own no gown any bigger?”
“This is the biggest,” Fina said.
Isabel sighed, trying to decide if she dared to wear it. Then Eliza came to mind. Her dress the night they spoke revealed much more than this. That thought made Isabel angry and determined.
“I will wear it. The king demands that I come, and I wouldn’t dare wear a frumpy gown from my pregnancy.”
“You look splendid.” Fina gazed at her friend with such love. “I’m so glad you are returning. I’ve missed you.”
“Well don’t get used to it. I won’t come every time.”
At the exact moment she was to be sitting down to supper, William was demanding to be fed. How could she postpone that? Fina was to deliver a note to Colin explaining her delay.
After placing a contented William into his new nanny’s arms, Isabel said, “Bring William before bedtime, and I will feed him. He won’t be a happy little prince without his mama nearby.”
Nanny Faye dutifully nodded and smiled. “He will leave me no choice.”
“If you need me –.”
“If I need you, Queen Isabel, I know precisely where to find you – just downstairs.” She snuggled William against her large chest and reassured his mother. “I’ve raised five of my own. I bet you most anything I can keep this child well enough for a few hours.”
Isabel paused and drew in a deep breath. This was a gentle and capable woman she was leaving her son with. After interviewing many proper and stuffy nannies, Isabel had chosen a citizen from Deslan, a friend of Margaret’s, with no actual nanny experience.
“I know you will be fine. I’m just not so sure about me.”
“Go, Mama. This boy will be well cared for.”
By the time Isabel reached the dining room, it was empty. She practically ran to the great hall fearing Colin would be angry because she was so late. Once there, she came to a screeching halt before the massive double doors. The guards reached out as if to open the doors, but she threw her hands up and whispered, “Wait!” They did.
Her heart was pounding and her hands trembled. Never had she been so nervous to make an entrance as she was tonight. Mostly, she thought of Colin seeing her dressed properly for the first time in months. During her last months of pregnancy, she had felt far from beautiful, especially compared to that horrid Eliza. Tonight, though, she felt pretty and wanted her husband to feel the same.
With nearly failing courage, she nodded for the doors to be opened. When they did, Isabel took her first steps with hesitation. Only by sheer will did she take one step after another, entering slowly and deliberately, hoping to exude much more confidence than she felt. In her mind she reminded herself to appear regal rather than motherly.
***
Colin wondered what was causing such a stir until he turned to find his wife had entered the room. With his breath caught in his chest and his heart beaming with satisfaction that she had come, he joined in the applause that had broken out across the room.
Isabel had no way of knowing the love for her these caring people felt. When she was so near death, most had been a part of the wave of concern and faith and pleading prayers. Isabel’s life mattered to these kingdom citizens just as much as the prince’s. From the moment Colin arrived, any night he had guests present, all of his conversations were about the queen. Question after question of her well-being was asked. This was what he wanted her to see and experience, this outpouring of love. Because of her earliest reception, Isabel needed to know how much a part of her kingdom she had become. The people were, indeed, clamoring.
The closer he walked to his wife, the more dazed he was over her appearance. Her gown fit differently than before, and all he could do was stare at her.
“It looks dreadful. I should leave,” Isabel said, eyes wide at his reaction.
He grabbed her wrist to prevent her from bolting from the room. “I’m sorry. I haven’t heard a word you’ve said.”
She giggled at him. “Colin!” When he tore his eyes away and looked her in the eye, she whispered, “Nothing fits. This is the largest dress I own.”
“You are breathtaking.” He leaned in and kissed her on the cheek, hovering by her ear. “Literally, I can hardly catch my breath.” He held one hand out. “Look.”
When she saw that his hand was trembling, she held hers out for him to see. “Mine too.”
“As long as you are pleased, I will stay.”
“I am more than please
d.” He stood there gazing at her for some time until his eyes once again fell. “You may stay, but I’m calling the first and every dance thereafter. No way will I hand you over to another looking like this.”
“Have you become a jealous husband?”
“An insanely jealous husband.”
While holding her hand, Colin led Isabel to the dance floor. “We will dance at least once before you greet your people.”
“My people?”
“Yes. You will see.”
***
For Isabel, the night was a blur of conversations and well wishes. Her delivery and its complications were well known by all, it seemed. Some asked questions, some merely told her how hard they had prayed and how pleased they were with God’s miracle of sparing hers and the prince’s life. None of this was expected. While she didn’t know what the evening would be like, this wasn’t it.
Just as Colin had demanded of her, she only danced with him. When the first few men asked her to dance, Colin was good natured about it as he replied for her. There came a point, when so many continued to approach, that he became more abrupt in his refusals.
Finally, as they danced around the room with Colin singing his Isabel song out of tune, Isabel gave in. This was the moment. Even while knowing he may someday shatter it again, she gave in and gave him her heart – her whole heart. All she could do was sigh in peaceful surrender and continue to twirl around the room.
They danced a while more and for the first time since having their son, she found herself at ease with him, without the hurt over what he may or may not have done with Eliza. There was something new between them, as if they were a real married couple.
“I think I should warn you, my king.”
“Warn me of what?”
“My corset is so tight to hold in baby blubber that I might possibly keel over at any time. Don’t be alarmed; just set me free of my confines.”
Colin chuckled. “Good to know. I would have likely overreacted and asked all to drop to their knees and pray.”
“Did you know about that, that the people prayed for me?”
