by Rae, Kelsie
“He’s good, Mama. You should see him with the cats. For a guy who showed up not knowing what to do with them, he’s pretty dang cute when they’re all snuggled up against him. Even Jasper’s warming up to him, and don’t get me started on Clover.”
“Who’s Clover?”
A smile stretches across my face, and I don’t even bother trying to conceal it. “The little girl kitten from the litter I told you about. You know, the one they found on the side of the road? He gave her that name because she’s going to be like a lucky four-leaf clover and survive after the crappy hand she was dealt. How sweet is that?” I let my voice go extra mushy instead of reeling it in, surprising both of us.
“Who are you, and what have you done with my daughter?” my mom jokes on the other end, making both of us laugh.
“Very funny, Mama. But no, he’s just really sweet.”
“He seemed really sweet when we met. And you seem really sweet on him, might I add.”
“It’s just a fling.”
“So there is something happening on that front?” she pushes.
“Physically, yes––”
“Gah! Stop right there. Those are the details your mother does not need to know. Let’s move on.”
“But sometimes we like to––”
She cuts me off again. “One more word, and I’ll let your father choose the Christmas Eve movie next year.”
“No! Not Die Hard! It’s not even a Christmas movie!” I whine, admitting defeat.
“Then keep all the details on the physical front to yourself, or so help me, I’ll make you sit through the sequel too!”
I purse my lips before muttering, “Fiiine…what else do you wanna know?”
“I wanna know about the emotional heartstrings, Swayze Girl. What about those? How are things on that front?”
My face scrunches up as though the possibility of there being a heartstrings issue is a disease I’d rather not touch with a ten-foot pole.
“We’re all clear on the emotional front.” Other than how cute he is with the kittens and Jasper, but I’m still convinced that’s a libido issue, not one from the heart.
“Come on, Sway. You gotta give me a little more than that.”
Taking another sip of tea, I set my mug on the table before plopping down onto an empty chair. Tobias, my very first cat who convinced me to hop on the crazy train of fostering, jumps up and starts purring a couple inches from my hand before nudging me with his head. With a laugh, I start scratching behind his ears before answering my mom’s question. “Mama, I’m serious. There’s nothing going on emotionally. Just fun…which is what I do best.”
“And why’s that?”
“Because there can’t be anything there on the emotional side. You know that.”
She scoffs. “I know nothing of the sort, Swayze Girl. You’re allowed to feel something for a man other than a few orgasms.”
With my eyes bugging out of my head, I find myself very grateful I hadn’t recently taken a sip of my drink, or I’d have spewed it across the table. “Mama! Are you for real right now? Gross!”
“You’re the one who wanted to go into all the details, honey––”
“Yeah, ‘cause I wanted to make you uncomfortable! Not the other way around.” My face scrunches up for the second time in this conversation before I shove the word orgasm into a little box inside my head with the determination to never open it again.
“Well, I’m just saying there’s more to a relationship than the physical side.”
I release a sigh before running my fingers through my hair in frustration. When Tobias gives me a dirty look for stopping his little cat massage, I give in and continue my ministrations.
“Then it’s a good thing I’m not a relationship kind of girl, right?”
“Wrong,” she calls. “Honey, ever since the surgery, you’ve shut the door on love. Why?”
“I don’t want to talk about this, Mama.”
“Good, then you can listen. You’re not broken, Sway. There’s nothing wrong with you. One day, a man will sweep you off your feet and will love all of you. Even the pieces you consider flaws––”
“I’m done talking about this.” My chest aches, but I press forward. “I love you. Anthony and I are having a good time. We will not be getting into a real relationship. We will not be getting married. We will not be a long-term thing. I’ll talk to you tomorrow, okay?”
Her sigh echoes through the phone, and my guilt quickly follows for snapping at her. I know she doesn’t mean any harm. I know she’s trying to help. But she doesn’t understand. No one does. It’s a shitty fact of life, but I’m not going to let it drag me down. I’m going to live the best life I can live even if that means letting go of a few dreams I once had to make room for new ones that are actually achievable.
“Alright, Swayze Girl. I’m sorry I pushed, but I love you too. So damn much. Talk soon.”
With shaky hands, I press the end button on my phone then set it beside my lukewarm cup of tea. The conversation might’ve been painful, but it was exactly what I needed to steel my resolve, and I won’t be budging…no matter how cute the guy is when he’s snuggling kittens. Nope. All I need to see is a pretty set of abs and a handsome smile. I need to let go of the potential he holds, and the way that damn smile makes me feel when it’s sent my way.
Nope. Not happening.
Chapter Seventeen
Anthony
“How’s my Clover doing?” I ask when Sway answers the door in a set of joggers and a white tank top.
“Your Clover?” she emphasizes with a smile.
I give her a grin before stepping around her and heading toward the exam room. “For the time being, anyway. You did let me name her.”
The entire drive over, I debated whether I was going to address the kiss or sweep it under the rug and pretend it never happened. But even I can’t ignore the fact that I showed up an hour earlier than normal with a pep in my step that has been absent for as long as I can remember. Even when Indie and I were what I considered happily in a relationship, I still didn’t get the quickening pulse or the jolt that accompanied her smile any time she’d gift me with one. No, our relationship was like a calm stream. Comfortable. Predictable. And monotonous, if I’m being completely honest. I didn’t see it back then, but I see it now. I still think we could’ve been happy, but I also know I never would’ve been enough for her. The thought is sobering, and I hate the fact that it makes me question whether I’ll be enough for anyone.
With a deep breath, I push it aside and focus on the present, instead of the what-ifs of my past.
“I did,” Sway returns as I grasp the handle to the exam room and push the door open. “But don’t let it go to your head,” she continues. “I’ve also let Saylor name a few, and they were terrible.”
I laugh, imagining the possibilities as I stride over to the cage in the corner with the heat lamp attached to the side of it. “Like what?”
“Obi-Wan Kenobi, Padme, and Jar Jar Binks, to name a few.”
My brow quirks. “Star Wars fan, eh? Maybe I’m dating the wrong sister.”
So much for sweeping it under the rug. Guess I might as well jump in.
Her jaw drops before she crosses her arms over her chest and narrows her gaze. “One. We aren’t dating. Two. You really think jokes like that are gonna get you anywhere?”
With a smirk, I raise my hands apologetically. “Touché. And if we are going for complete honesty here, the only Swenson sister who caught my eye was the crazy cat lady with pink hair, so I think you can put the claws away.”
“Claws?” she scoffs.
“I thought you might appreciate the pun.” I wink. “Although you completely breezed past the other part of my little comment. Ya know, about the whole caught my eye thing….” My voice trails off, and she peeks over at me.
“Caught your eye, huh?”
“Yeah. Fun fact, Sway Swenson, but you walk around like a freaking strobe light. People can’t help
but get distracted by your curves and sexy as hell smart mouth. The combination could level any guy you come across.”
I didn’t mean for the compliment to come across quite so poetically, but it’s the truth, and I feel bad for ever making her question my attraction to her…even when it was said in jest.
Holding my stare for a few long beats, she finally breaks it by pulling out her phone and sending a text to someone. Or maybe she was only pretending to send a message because she was dying to break the tension. Regardless, it definitely did the job.
After her thumbs fly across the screen for another second or two, she sets it aside and looks back at me. “Clover’s been doing pretty well this morning, but I think she misses you. Won’t eat quite as much for me as she does when you’re the one snuggling her.”
“Now who’s being a kiss ass?” I tease, making her roll her eyes as she steps closer.
“And that’s the last time I ever give you a compliment,” she returns, though I can tell she’s teasing by the way her mouth is tilted up in the corner, and it only spurs me on.
“Hey, you’re the one who completely ignored the last endearing thing I said until I pointed it out like a noob. Don’t act all innocent here, Swayze Girl.”
She gasps. “Swayze Girl? Are you mocking my mama and daddy?”
“Never!” I say with just as much faux outrage as Sway, finding myself nearly chest to chest with her. “I actually think it’s pretty adorable. Just. Like. You.” I emphasize each word with a tap of my finger against her button nose, which acts like a damn flag to a raging bull.
Nostrils flaring, she tosses back her hair before charging straight ahead. “You know, you’re awfully confrontational this morning. Did someone wake up on the wrong side of the bed?”
“Slept like a baby, actually," I lie. In all honesty, visions of Sway's pouty lips when I pulled away from our kiss kept me up all night, but I'd hate to let her know she wields so much power. Which reminds me….
"Did you consider my proposition?"
As if reading my mind, her eyes drop to my mouth before looking back at me. "Yup."
"And?" I press.
"And do you really think you’d be getting any action with all the attitude you’re throwing my way?”
“What? You don’t like it when your men are sassy?”
She snorts then taps her finger against her chin, peeking up at the ceiling in deep thought while taking a small step back. “Ya know, I think I prefer them to have a pair, now that I think about it.”
“I can’t imagine why. Then you wouldn’t get away with all the bossiness you’ve got going for you.”
Her facade crumbles, a smile peeking through before she covers it with a look of indifference.
“I’m not bossy,” she counters.
“And apparently, I don’t have a pair. Look at that. We’re both liars.”
With a glare, she brings us back to the matter at hand, waving her finger between the two of us. “You and me? Not gonna happen.”
“And why not?”
“Because it's a terrible idea."
“Since when are you afraid of terrible ideas?” I challenge, folding my arms across my chest. “From what I’ve heard, you’re great at leaping before you look.”
“That’s called spontaneity, Anthony, not poor decision making. You should try it sometime.”
“Toe-mae-toe, toe-mah-toe,” I counter. “And that’s exactly what I am trying to do, but someone won’t let me.”
“Because I won’t sleep with you?” She laughs.
“Maybe.” Bringing out the big guns, I give her the puppy dog look and stick my lower lip out for good measure.
Looking unimpressed, she takes another step closer until her bare toes nearly touch the rubber of my sneakers that I bought after she made fun of me for wearing loafers.
“Looking for pity sex, Anthony? Think that’ll work?”
“You tell me.”
“It’s a terrible idea.”
“Probably.”
Her gaze drops to my mouth for the hundredth time in our conversation, and I can see the battle raging behind her pretty green eyes.
"It's a good thing I like terrible ideas," she murmurs as she stands on the tips of her toes and presses her lips to mine. My hands tense in surprise before my instincts take over, and they cup her face, tilting her head to give me better access. The first thing I notice is that the girl in front of me tastes like a damn carnival. Sliding my tongue into her mouth, I nearly laugh when I pinpoint the flavor. Cotton candy. I should’ve known. A ghost of a smile touches my lips before I dive back in and soak her up like a hot summer’s day at the fair.
With my groin pressed against hers, I guide her a few steps back until her ass runs into the exam table with a soft thump. Her mouth opens on a gasp when my palms slide down a few inches before cupping her thighs and lifting her onto the cool metal surface. I can feel her smile against my mouth as her legs wrap around my waist seconds later, her arms following suit around my neck. The lust pumping throughout my system is like nothing I've ever experienced. Sure, Indie and I had a good sex life. But this? This is the chemistry I've been told existed, but I was positive it didn't. Until now.
The heat? The burn? The overwhelming need? Yeah, none of those things were ever really present. And it's not because Indie wasn't gorgeous, or that she was bad in bed. We just didn't have that damn elusive chemistry. Now that I'm experiencing what it is like firsthand, I get it. I understand why she left. Why she followed her gut and fell for another man. Because this?
This blows what we had out of the water.
Digging my fingers into her waist, I help her shimmy out of her bottoms while grazing my lips against the exposed skin on her neck.
"We really doing this?" she pants, looking down at me from her perched position on the edge of the table. The heat in her gaze is enough to burn me from the outside in and only spurs me on. My hands pause in their pursuit, and I take a second to appreciate her mussed hair, her swollen lips, and her eyes that shine with lust.
"You're beautiful."
With a shy smile, she replies, "That isn't an answer."
Gripping her ass, I pull her to the edge of the table and roll my hips into her, letting her feel every inch of me through my jeans.
"I’ll take that as a yes," she quips before dragging me back to her mouth and grazing the tip of her tongue along the seam of my lips. The barely-there touch teases me until I’m aching for her before she takes the leap of spontaneity we’d just been discussing by gripping the hem of my shirt and tugging it over my head. A deep chuckle bursts out of me when it gets caught on my chin. I untangle myself from the thin cotton before catching her eyes glued to my chest.
“Like what ya see?”
She snaps out of her drool fest and gives me a casual shrug in response. “Meh.”
With a dry laugh, I grip her sides and dig my fingers into her ribs in retaliation, completely killing the mood we had going while amplifying it at the same time. She squirms against me as bouts of giggles escape her before a plea leaves her lips. “Okay, okay! You’re sexy as hell, alright? Why else do you think I’d agree to this stupid idea?”
“So, it’s not for my shining personality?” I quip, my fingers stopping their assault.
She rolls her eyes. “Hardly.”
“Well then, you should probably get naked so we can end this less-than-titillating conversation and get to the good part, don’t you think?”
“Did you just say titillating?”
“Did I stutter?”
“Well no, but––”
“Didn’t think I could use big words?”
“Like I said, this was your idea, and even though I agreed to it, I believe I described it as stoooopid.” She makes a point to drag out the word, her mouth forming a tiny ‘o’ in the process, and I shake my head in response.
“Shut up and kiss me before I change my mind.”
“Ego can’t take the hit?”
; “Something like that,” I mutter under my breath, my eyes glazing for a split second.
Sensing my shift in demeanor, Sway raises her hand and presses it against my cheek. The scruff from my jaw scratches her delicate palm, reminding me that I need to shave soon. The old Anthony wouldn’t have been caught dead with any stubble. But the new one? He doesn’t give a shit. He doesn’t give a shit about a lot of things anymore. Or at least, that’s what I keep telling myself.
“Hey.” Sway’s soft voice brings me back to the present as she looks at me with caution. “I didn’t mean it. Despite my bad joke, I don’t sleep with guys I’m not attracted to physically as well as mentally and personally. You’re a good guy, Anthony. I can tell.”
Swallowing tightly, I go to take a step back when she stops me by locking her arms around my neck.
“Uh-uh.” She shakes her head. “No deal.”
A soft, dry laugh rumbles up my throat. “Excuse me?”
“I just told you I want you. Not like relationship wise,” she rushes to add. “But you know what I mean. I’m attracted to you, and I know you’re attracted to me. I can tell a piece of you is hurting, probably because of your ex, and I want you to let me make you feel better even if it’s only for a little while.”
“You don’t have to do that––”
“I know I don’t have to, but I want to. And hey, if I get a solid orgasm out of it, I’ll call it a win.” With a dramatic wink thrown my way as a little cherry on the top of her comment, the vice around my chest eases, and I take a small step closer to the table.
“Only one, huh?”
“Well, I mean…a girl doesn’t want to get her hopes up.”
“Challenge accepted.”
Closing the gap between our mouths, I let my kiss do the talking, with a promise of delivering a lot more than her mediocre expectations, and I’m greeted with a soft moan that spurs me on.
For the next few hours, I lose myself in her body while keeping my soul a safe distance away as we get to know each other on a whole other level. One where I'm reminded of what it's like to really live in the moment, instead of planning out my every move.
