by Isabelle Rae
He sighed sadly. “Yes it was. I took advantage of you. I’m an adult, and you’re a minor, that’s how it works.” He rested his head back against the wall and closed his eyes.
Took advantage? Is that some kind of joke? “Are you kidding me? Do you have any idea how much I wanted you? How much I still want you?” I asked, frowning. I was incredibly angry at him for cheapening what happened between us by making it sound like it was wrong and dirty.
“You need to go to the Principal and report it. I’ll come with you,” he croaked, pushing himself up and walking over to the door. His hand was just about to flick the lock before I grabbed it, stopping him.
I shook my head fiercely. “I’m not telling anyone, I don’t want you in trouble because of something that I did wrong. This is my fault, you’re right. I should have made sure you understood. I’m so sorry. You’re not a paedophile, please don’t think that,” I begged, stepping closed to him and wrapping my arms around his waist. I buried my face into the side of his neck, breathing him in. He was trembling, I could feel it.
“You need to report this, Chloe, or I will. It’ll look better on you if you do it,” he countered, taking my arms from around his waist and stepping back from me. He looked like he was in pain.
“No, I won’t do it,” I refused. “And if you do, I’ll tell them you made it all up.” I looked at him warningly. I wasn’t allowing him to get into trouble because of this. We’d get through it and work something out.
He shrugged. “If you have to.”
“Don’t do this, no one needs to know, please, Will,” I begged. My tears were falling again as I pressed my back against the door, gripping the lock tightly so he couldn’t get out.
He sighed and stepped forward, wiping my tears away with his thumbs. “Please don’t cry.” His voice broke as he spoke and it made my heart clench in my chest.
We were quiet for a little while; the only sounds were my ragged breathing as I struggled to stop crying. He just stood there staring at his feet looking pale and scared.
“How old are you anyway?” he asked quietly, still not glancing up from his feet.
“Seventeen. I’ll be eighteen in eight months.”
He groaned and nodded. “And you don’t want to report me?” he asked. I shook my head fiercely. “Thank you,” he said gratefully.
“You don’t need to thank me. You didn’t do anything wrong,” I whispered, stepping closer to him and wrapping my arms around him again. He hugged me back this time and I pressed my face into the side of his neck loving the feel of his body against mine.
His breath blew into my hair as he held me against him. “We just need to pretend like this never happened, like we just met in the classroom,” he said quietly. His arms tightened on me as I went to jerk back to look at him.
What the heck does that mean? He doesn’t want to be with me? I opened my mouth to beg him, but nothing came out. Deep down I knew we couldn’t be together, not only was it illegal because of my age, but he was also my teacher now so we would both be in a lot of trouble if this came out. He would lose his job and probably go to jail, and I would be expelled.
“I don’t want to do that,” I whispered, trying desperately not to cry again.
“Well we don’t have a choice. Thank you for not reporting me, which you have every right to do, but I can’t be anything other than a teacher to you. We need to stay away from each other. It’s just lucky that this has all come out now instead of further down the line when we had any feelings for each other,” he said, pulling away from me.
Any feelings for each other? Does that mean he doesn’t feel anything for me already? Wow that hurts so much. I knew I was falling for him, another couple of weeks and I would have been head of heels in love. I thought he felt the same, but he must have just been using me all along. I really had him all wrong.
He bent his head and kissed my forehead softly, his lips lingering on my skin. It was a sweet kiss, a goodbye kiss. He stepped away and flicked the lock on the door and walked out quickly. As soon as I was on my own my heart seemed to shatter. My chest tightened, and my breathing hitched before I finally gave in and succumbed to the devastated and rejected tears.
Chapter Six
I stood there for ages not knowing what to do. Could I pretend that nothing happened like he said? Sure it was probably easy for him if he didn’t feel anything for me, but I was totally crazy about him. How was I supposed to sit in his class everyday knowing that? I took a deep breath and splashed some water on my face. My skin felt tight from all the crying, my eyes were sore, and I was starting to get a tension headache.
When I was composed again, I walked out of the bathroom, keeping my eyes firmly on the floor, not wanting people to see me and know I had been crying. I couldn’t tell anyone. I couldn’t talk about it at all. I had no one to rant to and help me mend my breaking heart because I couldn’t get Will in trouble. I silently thanked my lucky stars that he hadn’t met any of my friends as they would have known who he was today.
The hallway was abnormally quiet for the end of school. I raised my head and risked a glance to see the hall empty of people. Where the hell is everyone? Surely people should be messing around in the hall getting their things from their lockers before heading home.
“Chloe!”
I turned round to see Nick walking towards me smiling. “Hey,” I muttered, turning my body so he wouldn’t get a clear look at my face that was sure to be puffy and red.
“What are you still doing here? Amy was looking for you earlier, she’s gone home now,” he said, stopping at my side.
I looked down at his feet letting my hair fall over my face. “She left? What time is it?” I asked, confused.
“It’s almost four.”
Almost four? Was I in the bathroom for that long?
“Where were you anyway? Amy said you jumped up and ran out of class like a bomb went off and then she couldn’t find you.” He put his hand on my shoulder, squeezing gently. The warmth of his hand seeped through my shirt and into my skin. I turned my head and put my cheek on the back of his hand needing comfort as my eyes started to fill up again. “Are you okay?” he asked quietly. I shook my head in response. He pulled me into a hug, stroking his hands down my back as I sobbed on his shoulder. When my tears finally dried up he pulled back and cupped my face in his hands. “What happened?”
I sniffed loudly, swiping at my nose. “I don’t want to talk about it. Thank you for the hug, I seriously needed that.” I forced a fake smile and stepped back.
He smiled warmly. “Anytime, I’ll always be here for you.” Nick really was a really sweet person. We were friends before we dated, not best friends or anything, but we were fairly close. He was always someone I could talk to. When we broke up we promised we would go back to that and still be friends. I really hoped we could. “Come on I’ll drive you home,” he stated, putting his arm around my shoulder and taking my bag in his other hand as he led me towards his car. “You know, you look so attractive right now, Chloe. Puffy definitely suits you,” he joked, smirking at me.
I laughed and slapped his chest with the back of my hand. Nick always could lighten the mood. He grinned looking a little proud of himself as he opened the car door for me, throwing my bag in the back seat. I climbed in, and as he shut the door, I spotted Will standing by his car watching me. He was frowning angrily about something. He climbed in his car and slammed the door so hard I was surprised it didn’t smash the glass. He sped out of the parking lot a split second later and Nick climbed in the driver’s side.
“Was that the new calculus teacher in that car? Damn, that dude drives like a maniac,” he mused, laughing as he pulled out at a more reasonable speed. He turned right heading towards my house. Oh no! I can’t go home yet. My parents will know I’ve been crying, and my mom won’t let up until I tell her what happened. I’m not ready to talk about the break up yet!
“Nick, do you think I could come to yours for a little while?” I pleaded, k
nowing his house would be empty. His dad worked a late shift and didn’t get home until ten at night, and his mom had died about three years ago of cancer. That was actually when we met, I found him crying in the hallway after her death and we’d been friends ever since.
He glanced at me from the corner of his eye. “Let me guess, you don’t want to talk to your mom yet. Am I right?” He didn’t wait for an answer; he just pulled into a side road and turned the car around, heading back in the other direction, towards his house.
I smiled gratefully. Nick always had known me well. “Not yet. I just need to forget about it for a little while. Are you sure this is okay?”
He nodded easily. “Sure, you can cook me some food. You know I’m a terrible cook,” he confirmed, grinning. I laughed thinking about all the times he had cooked for me when I went to his house after school. He wasn’t just a terrible cook, he was disastrous.
“I guess that’s a deal.” I pulled my cell phone out of my pocket, noticing that it was on silent. As I looked at my screen, I saw that I had nine missed calls and two texts, all from Amy. I opened the texts:
‘Where the hell are you? Is everything okay? Answer your phone or call me!’
‘I can’t find you, I assume you went home. I’ll talk to you later. Call me as soon as you get this message!’
I sighed and sent a text back to her telling her that I was fine but that I couldn’t talk right now. I promised to call her tonight instead. Then I sent a text to my mom, telling her I was having dinner at Nick’s but wouldn’t be late.
We pulled up at Nick’s house, and I climbed out, watching as he grabbed our bags from the bag seat. “Come on then, master chef, let’s go eat I’m starved,” he teased, heading towards the front door.
I smiled and followed behind him. I felt a little weird as I walked in. I hadn’t been to his house since we broke up. I sighed and forced myself not to think about it. I used to hang out here with him before he asked me out so we really needed to get used to it again if we were to be friends. He dumped the bags down and led us over to the kitchen, pushing me towards the fridge gently as he stood behind me, resting his chin on my shoulder. I winced when I looked in his almost bare fridge. A lonely pack of ground beef sat at the bottom, luckily it was still in date.
“Spaghetti bolognaise?” I offered, grabbing it. I could probably whip that up with what he had in his cupboards.
“Awesome!” he chirped, grinning happily.
While I set to work cooking, he put on the sports channel. We didn’t speak apart from polite conversation. He didn’t push me for any details; he didn’t ask me why I was crying or anything, which I was grateful for. When it was done, I dished it up, also putting a plate on the side for his dad ready for when he got home.
We took the food into the lounge, watching some crappy sitcom on the TV while we ate. After, we did our homework and then chatted a little about his summer. He told me how his dad had taken two weeks off so they went to visit some family in California. Apparently Nick had learnt to surf. It was easy and comfortable, and actually managed to keep my mind off of Will for a little while.
After a couple of hours he drove me home. “Thanks for letting me come round, I really appreciate it,” I said, hugging him tightly as we pulled up outside my house.
“No probs, it was fun and thanks for cooking I haven’t eaten like that since we broke up,” he replied. His smile turned a little sad and I felt awful for hurting such a lovely person.
“I’m so sorry about that, Nick, honestly I am.” I swallowed the lump in my throat. We hadn’t actually spoken much over the summer, the occasional friendly text but nothing else, so we hadn’t really spoken about the break up.
He nodded. “Yeah me too. You think maybe I could get another chance?” he asked, looking at me hopefully.
“Nick, I’m sorry I…” I trailed off, lost for words. I wanted to tell him that I had a boyfriend, but that wasn’t true anymore so I couldn’t say that. I wanted to tell him that I was crazy about our new calculus teacher, but I couldn’t do that either. So I just sat there looking at him with my mouth open probably looking like a complete moron.
He smiled, putting his finger under my chin and closing my mouth. He leant in and pressed a soft kiss to my cheek. “It’s okay, forget I said anything.” He leant further forward, gripping the handle of my door and pushing it open for me.
I laughed at his obvious prompt for me to leave the car. “I get the hint; I’ll get out the car now. Thanks again, see you tomorrow.”
“Night, Chloe,” he called as I walked up the drive. I waved as I let myself in the house.
“Chloe? Is that you?” my mom called from the lounge.
“Yep,” I confirmed, tossing my keys on the sideboard and walking into the lounge. Both of my parents we sitting there watching TV.
“How was your first day, pumpkin?” Dad asked.
I shrugged noncommittally. “It was all right I guess,” I replied dismissively, not wanting to talk about it because I knew it would make me cry again.
My dad cocked his head to the side, looking at me curiously. “How come you went to Nick’s? I thought you were with this new guy, Will,” he asked, frowning. I smiled weakly at the casual mention of his name. My dad didn’t mind Nick, but he was a little apprehensive about meeting Will. That was probably what his frown was for; he hadn’t had his chance to threaten him yet.
“Nick and I are friends,” I replied. I took a deep breath before continuing, knowing I needed to say it out loud for the first time. “And Will and I broke up today.” I shrugged, trying to pretend I was fine even though my voice broke slightly as I said his name.
My mom gasped, immediately springing up from the sofa. “You broke up?” she repeated, heading over to hug me.
I held up a hand to tell her to stop. “I’m okay, it’s fine,” I lied. “I’m going to bed. See you in the morning.” I turned on my heel and quickly headed out of the room, making a break for the stairs and the safety of my room. When I got there, I flopped down on the bed face first, crying uncontrollably again.
I couldn’t speak to Amy, I didn’t want to talk about it again so I text her instead telling her about the split, but that I didn’t want to talk about it and that I’d just see her as usual in the morning.
I turned my cell phone off knowing she would try to call me back anyway even though I said I didn’t want to talk. Zombielike, I stripped out of my clothes and headed to the shower, letting my tears mingle with the spray as I let the water calm my tight and stressed body.
By the time I got out and headed back to my bedroom, Amy was sitting on my bed. I jumped and squeaked from the shock. She just smiled sadly. “Your mom let me up,” she explained, shooting me a sympathetic look. I nodded and silently went to sit next to her; she grabbed the brown bag from the floor and put it in my lap. I opened it to see about thirty bucks’ worth of different candies and ice creams.
She held out a spoon to me. I smiled gratefully. “You know you’re the best friend ever, right?” I asked, pulling out a carton and holding it out to her.
We sat up eating ice cream until both of us felt sick then she finally fell asleep just after midnight. I closed my eyes too and prayed for sleep, but it didn’t come easily. All I could think about was Will and how handsome he was. When I finally fell asleep at about four in the morning all I dreamed about was him and the fun we had, how he could make me laugh and feel special.
By the time morning came my head was pounding, and I felt like death warmed up. Amy was trying to brighten me up by doing my hair for me, straightening it and pulling it half up. I plastered on a fake smile even though I kind of felt dead inside. She already knew I didn’t want to talk about it so she didn’t ask at all which I loved her for.
The drive to school was awful. With every passing second I got closer and closer to seeing him again. I just prayed I could hold it together for his class and not burst out crying in front of everyone.
When we pulled into the pa
rking lot, I spotted his car immediately. As I walked past it, I had the strong urge to kick it or throw a stone through his windshield as payback. But for what? What had he actually done wrong, apart from not having feelings for me? Nothing.
I sighed and went to my locker, storing my books as if on autopilot. I nodded along with the conversations going on around me, pretending I was listening and interested.
“Mr Morris!” Emily suddenly called excitedly from my right.
My breath caught in my throat as I glanced in the direction that she was looking in. He was walking towards us looking so handsome I could cry. He had on jeans and black T-shirt with a cream shirt over the top, left unbuttoned. I bit my tongue hard enough to draw blood. I hadn’t prepared myself for this; yes I expected to see him in his class, but not just randomly popping up in the middle of the hallway.
He stopped when he got to us and gave everyone his trademark smirk; I noticed his eyes didn’t even pass in my direction. “Morning, girls.”
I swallowed the blood in my mouth and forced myself not to cry. Emily twirled her hair around her finger as she looked at him. “I listened to that song you said was your favourite. I’d never heard of One Republic before, but that song was amazing,” she gushed, fluttering her eyelashes.
Will nodded. “Yeah it’s a good song; you should listen to some of their other stuff too.” He smiled back at her and I was suddenly unsure of which one I wanted to punch the most, Emily for flirting with him, or Will just because he was my teacher and had ruined everything we had going over the summer.
I looked down at my feet trying not to let the tone of his voice affect me. They carried on talking about some stupid group that I’d never even heard of. Unable to stop myself from looking, I dragged my eyes off of the floor to see that Emily had moved slightly closer and had her hand on his arm.
Oh crap, this is killing me. Why can’t he just go away? Why is he standing there talking to my friends about music? Does he not know how much this is hurting me?
