by Isabelle Rae
Also, even when I did spend time with him, he’d been a little distant recently, making phone calls, sending emails, talking to Sam and then stopping when I walked into the room. I didn’t know what it was about, but I was hoping it was something as simple as he was buying me a graduation present or something. My mind started wandering to horrible things, like maybe he didn’t want to be with me anymore; maybe now that the excitement of a forbidden relationship was over he didn’t want me. I’d been worrying about that for the last couple of weeks when he started going away for the weekends with Sam, and turning his cell phone off so I couldn’t call him. He said it was nothing, that Sam needed to let loose, and he was just having ‘boy bonding time’. So I’d let it go, just praying that he wasn’t cheating on me or something.
I forced myself to stop thinking about it. Today wasn’t about that; today was about finally being thrust into society as an adult. I’d speak to Will later and find out what was going on, but for now, I needed to worry about nothing more important than tripping on the bottom of my robes and falling on my face in front of everyone. Sam would love that.
I absentmindedly traced my hand over my wrist, catching my charm bracelet and worrying the little charms between my fingers trying to calm my nerves. There had been a couple more additions to my bracelet recently, the one that he gave me on prom night - the tulip - had also been joined by a horseshoe that he bought me when I had my exams, and the one that he gave me this morning, the little silver scroll charm that was for my graduation.
Chewing on my lip I waited for my name to be called. I watched as Amy skipped up to get hers, doing a dramatic bow which made people cheer and clap. I laughed and flicked my eyes back to Will again, watching as he clapped and grinned. Amy and Will got on great, in fact, he got on great with all of my friends, we hung out quite a lot. Everything was easier now that people thought I was with Sam. We were allowed to hang out as a group with no one wondering why a teacher was with us, as far as other people were concerned he was just hanging with his brother, so nothing more was said about it.
When Erika floated onto the stage, the boys all hollered and whistled as she sauntered on, shaking her ass and flicking her hair over her shoulder, looking like a supermodel. She was the only girl here that pulled off the sunshine yellow ceremonial robes, and still managed to look like a goddess while wearing them. I smiled. She hadn’t hassled me at all since that lie I had told her, when I told her I had recorded her threatening me. She had kept out of my way and I had kept out of hers. Sure, she was still bitchy to me and Amy, I was pretty sure that would never change; it was just part of her personality. From what I heard though, Erika was going to be moving to England in a couple of weeks. Her family were uprooting and moving there for her dad’s business, so I wouldn’t even have contact with her after today was over with.
Nick got his turn on stage too; fist pumping the air which made his dad whoop and stand up to do the same thing. Someone nudged me in the back and I looked around to see a girl from my year, frowning and looking at me like I was crazy. “Are you going to go on?” she asked, nodding at the stage.
I looked at her quizzically until I realised what she was talking about. It was my turn to get my certificate. I gulped and gripped my bracelet tightly as I walked onto the stage, trying to appear confident even though I was secretly counting the steps in my head and praying I didn’t fall and embarrass myself. I could vaguely hear my dad shouting something along the lines of “Yeah, go pumpkin!” I blushed and kept my eyes focused on the Principal who was smiling at me and watching me walk over to him.
When I stopped in front of him he grinned and held out his hand. “Congratulations,” he stated. I laughed and shook his hand taking the little scroll with my other hand, feeling a burst of accomplishment rush over me. I’ve done it. I’ve graduated. Now I’m free to get on with my life, my life with Will.
“Thanks, Principal Sherman,” I replied, practically skipping off of the stage while Sam hollered and chanted “Go, Foxy!” over and over. I shot him a warning look which just made him laugh and wink at me.
When I got to the other side of the stage I grabbed Amy and hugged her tightly before pouncing on Nick who span me around in a little circle, laughing. We watched as the rest of our year got their certificates, then, as per tradition, we all threw up our little hats. After that I was swept into an embarrassing display of affection by both of my parents. They were gushing over my robe, my hat, my certificate, telling me how proud they were. I posed for hundreds of photos; it would be a miracle if I could see right after this considering how many times the flash went off in my face.
I waved to Sam, Angela, and William. They made a swift and discreet exit right after the ceremony. My parents still hadn’t met Sam, and I didn’t want them to. I couldn’t exactly introduce them to Sam and then tell them after that I was dating his brother, the teacher. So we just kept them all away from each other for now.
I felt my cell phone vibrate in my pocket so I pulled it out to see I had a new message from Will.
‘Meet me around the back of the gym.’
I didn’t bother to reply. He knew I would meet him, I didn’t need to confirm. I smiled at my parents who were happily chatting with Nick’s dad and Amy’s parents. We were all going out now for a celebration dinner, it would be fun because all of our parents got on well too.
“Guys, I just need the bathroom before we leave,” I lied.
My dad kissed the side of my head, smiling at me proudly. “Okay, pumpkin, we’ll wait here.” I smiled and skipped off to see Will and get my celebration hug from him.
As I headed around the side of the gym, there was no one there. I frowned and headed a little further up, deciding to wait here for him. Maybe he’s been caught up talking to someone.
Before I knew what happened someone grabbed me and dragged me around the last corner, behind a bush so we were out of sight. I squealed from shock, but I knew it was Will because of his laugh.
I turned around in his arms and smiled. “Hi,” I breathed.
He grinned and pressed me against the wall. “Hi,” he replied, kissing me softly. I moaned into his mouth, just praying that we were completely out of sight because we really shouldn’t be doing this here. He was obviously excited I was now graduated. He broke the kiss trailed little kisses across my cheek to my ear. “I’m so proud of you, Cutie.”
“Will, we should probably go somewhere a little more private,” I suggested breathlessly as he kissed down the side of my neck.
He sighed dramatically and pulled away from me, taking my hand, his other hand moving up to cup the side of my face. “I need to talk to you about something,” he whispered, kissing my lips again lightly. “Can we go somewhere? I don’t want to take you away from your family or anything, but this is important.”
I gulped nervously. Is this something bad? Why does he look so serious? “Um… okay. We’re supposed to be going for dinner, but I could cancel them,” I stated, wincing. My parents would be annoyed with me, but I guess if it was important then I needed to.
He shook his head in rejection. “Don’t cancel. This can wait, but I need to talk to you today, so maybe we could meet up after dinner?” he suggested, cocking his head to the side, looking at me hopefully.
I nodded and gripped the front of his shirt, pulling him closer to me. I didn’t want to let him go, I was actually a little terrified. Is he going to be break up with me? Is he going to tell me that he wants someone else? Or more space? Am I crowding him?
He smiled and brushed his thumb over the line of my cheekbone. “You look beautiful in your robes, just like an angel,” he complimented, kissing me softly.
I felt my eyes filling with tears; I didn’t want my time with him to end. I would never get over this guy; never in my life would I ever be able to find someone that made me as happy as he made me. He was the one for me and I would never recover from this if he broke it off. How had I let this guy have so much power over me? How had I let him
so far inside me that it was going to be like sheer agony to watch him walk out of my life?
“Have I done something wrong?” I whispered, trying desperately not to let the tears fall.
He frowned and looked at me like I was crazy. “Something wrong? No, why would you think that?”
“You’ve been so distant lately, you’ve been busy, and we’ve not really seen each other that much. Are you having second thoughts about me? Do you want to… to…” I couldn’t say the words, I couldn’t force the two words out of my mouth, they tasted so bitter, so repugnant that I didn’t want to say them.
“You think I’m going to break up with you?” he asked incredulously. I nodded, chewing on my lip, waiting for him to say the words and for my world to collapse into the pits of hell. He frowned angrily and shook his head. “Cutie, why do you always assume the worst? Why do you doubt my love for you all the time?” he asked, shaking his head sadly.
“I’m not good enough for you. One of these days you’ll realise it,” I mumbled.
He closed his eyes and blew out a big breath, pressing his body against mine. “Cutie, I’m the one that’s not good enough for you, not the other way around. I love you. I love you more than anything in the world and I’m always going to love you. You need to stop doubting yourself and stop doubting me. You’re stuck with me now. You’re wearing my promise ring for goodness sake, doesn’t that tell you how I feel about you won’t change?” he asked, pressing his forehead to mine.
I swallowed noisily. “So what’s the thing we need to talk about?” I asked, wrapping my arms around his neck, pulling him closer to me, letting his sweet words wash over me. I felt my body calm down and relax. I was being stupid and he was right, I really needed to stop doubting him, I should have known that he loved me, I shouldn’t have questioned that. I was just still so insecure because I would never feel worthy of his attention.
He smiled. “We’ll talk later. It’s important, but not bad. Don’t start stressing that beautiful head about it, okay?” I nodded and pulled his mouth back to mine, kissing him deeply, showing him with that kiss how much I loved him, needed him, and appreciated him. He pulled back after a minute or so. “You should go; your parents are probably looking for you. Call me after and we’ll meet somewhere.”
I sighed; I didn’t want to leave him here at the school. I wanted to take him with me, introduce him to my parents and have him come to dinner with everyone else. It felt so wrong to go off on this momentous occasion without the love of my life.
“Okay. I love you, Will.” I kissed him again softly, before turning and moving away from him. I only got one step away before he slapped my behind as I walked off.
“You rock that robe, Cutie,” he complimented, winking at me. I blushed and did a little curtsy before walking off quickly towards where my parents were waiting and talking to Trevor, Nick’s dad.
Dinner was good. Our parents were all sharing stories about when we were kids, talking about how time whizzes past and before you know it that little baby that you gave birth to, was now graduated from high school. Nick, Amy and I just laughed at them as they reminisced. It was good, but in the back of my mind I couldn’t stop thinking about Will. I constantly wished he was here and that he was part of this. He was the only thing missing from this picture.
When we’d finished with dinner, I text Will to tell him I was done, and we arranged to meet in half an hour. I skipped into the house to change. When it was finally time, I made my excuses to my parents and headed out of the house to go and meet him and find out what this ‘important thing’ was that we needed to talk about.
I jogged over to his car that was parked down the road from my house. I tried desperately not to stress about what it was, he said I shouldn’t worry, and I was trying my hardest not to, but I must be more of a pessimist than I thought I was because the fear of what this was about had been eating away at me.
As I slipped into the passenger side he smiled happily. “Well hi there, long time no see,” he chirped.
I smiled and rolled my eyes playfully. It had actually felt like a long time to me, even though it had only been a few hours. “Yeah it’s been ages. How have you been? Keeping okay?” I replied, playing along. I raked my eyes over him; he looked so handsome in black jeans and a white T-shirt.
“Yeah, good thanks. You’re looking well,” he answered.
I grinned and scooted over in my seat and pressed my lips to his to silence him. “Enough of the playing around. Let’s go somewhere and talk because the anticipation of what this is about is actually killing me slowly,” I complained, pouting at him.
He smiled and started the car, driving to the children’s play park that wasn’t too far away from my house. We both climbed out and walked into the deserted park. He headed over to the bench and sat down so I followed suit and sat next to him, waiting for him to spit it out.
He turned to me, looking a little nervous. “So I’ll just get to it then,” he stated. “You’re dead set on staying here to go to college, right? You definitely don’t want to go to your dream school in New York?”
Okay, I wasn’t expecting this conversation to be along these lines! I nodded in confirmation. He knew the answer to that; we’d spoken about it at great lengths over the last few weeks. I wasn’t leaving to go there; I was staying here with him because I didn’t want to leave him. We’d made the decision together, as a couple, what was better for both of us. We had both decided that staying together was what was important; location didn’t matter as long as I was with him. I’d already told my family and friends, I’d told Amy that I wasn’t going with her, I’d turned down my places at the other colleges. I was staying here with him. So why was he asking me this now?
He nodded. “Okay, so, you said I’d been distant and busy lately, so I thought I should tell you what I’ve been doing.”
My heart stuttered in my chest. I knew something had been up with him lately. He’d seemed stressed, and always preoccupied on the internet. “Right, okay,” I said uneasily, thinking he was going to tell me that he’d been seeing someone else.
He took a deep breath. “I got a new job.”
I gasped, shocked. “You did? What job?” I asked, looking at him curiously. I still wasn’t sure if this was a good thing or a bad thing.
He nodded. “Yeah I did. It’s another teaching position, but it’s not in this area,” he replied, raising one eyebrow and watching for my reaction.
He’s moving away? “Oh.”
He smiled. “I’ve already accepted the position. I have to be there in a few weeks so I’ll be moving away from here.”
I could feel the horror building in my chest; the hysteria was threatening to crush me. Will is moving away from me? I’ve turned down all of my college offers to stay here with him, but yet he’s accepted a job somewhere else? How could he do that to me? Why would he?
He nodded, seeming oblivious to my internal freak out that I was starting to have. “Yeah, I’ve been a little busy lately with interviews and things like that. But I was offered this really good opportunity that I just couldn’t turn down,” he continued.
“Oh,” I mumbled again, not really able to form any coherent thoughts other than the fact that Will was leaving me. It was over.
He cocked his head to the side, looking at me expectantly. “Not going to ask me where I’m moving to?”
Can I speak? If I open my mouth will I just start screaming? Will any words actually come out if I try to form a sentence? My mouth was so dry I could barely even swallow. I licked my lips. “Where?” I whispered, fighting the sadness that was trying to consume me. This started off one of the happiest days of my life, and it was going to end one of the worst.
A smile twitched at the corners of his mouth. “There you go, doubting my love for you again,” he whispered, kissing me softly. I didn’t know how to respond. Of course I’m doubting your love for me, stupid! I gave up my dream school to stay here with you and you’re just up and leaving me here
? How freaking selfish is that?
“Will… just-” I didn’t know what I wanted to say. Part of me wanted to cry, part of me wanted to shout at him, part of me wanted to hold him tight and never let him go.
“The job is in New York,” he said, pulling back and looking at me waiting for my reaction.
New York? He’s moving to New York? “Is that some kind of sick joke?” I asked, shaking my head, just not understanding this boy’s humour. He knew that I wanted to go there, yet he let me turn down my college place, but now he’s moving there anyway? What the hell is up with that? I jumped to my feet, looking at him angrily.
He laughed and gripped my hand, pulling me down to the bench again. “Yeah, I’m moving to New York. I have a great job lined up there, it’s pretty close to your dream school actually,” he commented, looking at me happily.
I pushed him away from me angrily. “What the hell? I turned down my place there! Why would you do this? Will, for goodness sake, this is just-” I groaned in frustration and shook my head at him.
He grinned. “You didn’t turn down your place there actually. You accepted it. Well, that’s not strictly true, Amy accepted it, pretending to be you,” he said, shrugging.
What the? “She did what?” I mumbled, suddenly getting even more confused as to where this conversation was going.
He sighed happily. “Stop being angry with me, I can see you’re angry by your expression. This is a good thing, I promise.” He took my hand and turned in his seat so he was full on facing me. “Before you spoke to Amy and told her that you were staying here and not going to New York, I spoke to her. I told her that you were going to tell her that,” he explained. “For the last couple of months I’ve been scrambling trying to find a new job close to your school that you wanted. It’s been hard because I’m young and not a lot of schools want to take a chance on a guy that has only one year of teaching experience. But I found one eventually. I just got offered the place last week. It’s only a half an hour drive from your dream school,” he explained.
