A tremor of unease slid through Lillian. “Would you undo this if it was within your power?”
He sighed deeply and then placed a talon under her chin and guided her gaze back to his. “Never.” A smile touched his expression. “Long have we wanted a way to express our love that didn’t destroy ourselves or our vows to the Divine Ones. This is not the first time either of us has been a parent, but it is the first time we begot the young together. I have no words to explain the emotions inside me. The thought of watching our child growing inside you, a child I put there, pleases me more than it should. All children are a blessing, regardless of who sires them. But I cannot be unhappy with a child created solely between us.”
“I’m glad.” For the first time, Lillian felt hope bloom in her chest. She was with child, Gregory’s child, but their world wasn’t about to end. It was going to grow bigger.
“There is one thing I must know.” A thread of worry had crept into his voice. “Why don’t I remember it happening? You made me forget for some reason. To protect me?” He sighed. “I need to know the truth. We can have no more secrets between us.”
Lillian’s heart sank to her toes. Why did he have to ask that? Why couldn’t he just leave well enough alone?
“I know it must have happened the night Tethys enchanted me with her song,” he prompted.
Lillian remained silent.
How could she tell him without making him hate himself or her?
“If you will not tell me then show me.” His fingers caressed her arms, and he nuzzled the side of her neck again.
Still, she remained silent and refused to think anything that would give it away as she stared at the kitchen tiles.
“You’re blocking me,” he said, sounding surprised and unhappy. “All of you, out.”
Lillian turned to see their audience had grown beyond Gran and Greenborrow. Her little brother had appeared at some point, and her parents were just entering the kitchen. Darkness was still on the threshold. He took one look at Gregory’s expression, bowed deeply, grabbed River around the waist and dragged the startled dryad backward out of the room.
Gran patted Lillian and then jerked her chin at Greenborrow and Shadowlight as she left.
Greenborrow cleared his throat. “Come on, Shadowlight. Grab as much food as you can carry and let’s get out of here. I’ll explain what an uncle is on our way outside.”
Shadowlight looked confused but took the items Greenborrow handed him and allowed himself to be hurried outside.
“Lillian,” Gregory’s clipped tone sounded more exasperated than angry. With a sigh, she stepped back into him. As one of his wings tucked her close, her jaws finally unlocked and allowed her to speak.
“Promise me you won’t run off and do something stupid.”
He touched the brand on her neck. “I won’t, but not because of these. Nothing you say or do will ever drive me away. We are one being. I will keep telling you that as often as you need to hear it.” He rubbed his cheek against hers. “As for doing something stupid, that I cannot promise. We both seem to excel at that in this lifetime. Maybe this realm just disagrees with us.”
Lillian didn’t know how he could find humor at this time, but it gave her the courage to lower her defenses and allow Gregory into her mind. He preceded slowly and gently. She knew he could simply seek out what he wanted in seconds, but he allowed her to set the pace of the memory sharing.
Outwardly, he was as still as if he’d turned to stone, but she still heard his heartbeat change as she soaked in his warmth and scent.
He rumbled something once in the gargoyle language. She wasn’t sure of the meaning, but it sounded like a profanity. He was silent after that. Shifting away enough so he could press their foreheads together, he closed his eyes and just breathed in her scent.
“Forgive me, beloved, for the pain and fear I caused you. That was not well done on my part.”
She reached up and stroked his mane. “You were not yourself. What happened wasn’t your fault.”
“I allowed the Siren to ensnare me.”
“Yes, but you said she couldn’t have held you for long. Had I just not...”
“Shh,” he pressed a finger to her lips. “We’ve been over this before. You did what you could to protect the humans and us from her wrath. It was I who harmed you, not the Siren. I will do all in my power to earn your forgiveness for that shameful act.”
“Gregory, it was consensual. You realize that, right? You weren’t in control. You weren’t yourself, but I was willing. It wasn’t rape...not on your part.”
He huffed softly. “Perhaps not, but neither was it the gentle, loving act it should have been.” He sighed at length. “I rutted on you like an animal.”
“It wasn’t like that.”
“Yes, it was.”
Lillian ran her fingers along the side of his muzzle. “It was nice to be able to give you something you needed. I know it was wrong, but I’d do it again.”
“You did not fear me, even a little?”
“No.” Lillian pressed little kisses along his muzzle and one side of his face before wrapping her arms around as much of him as she was able. “Not even a little.”
“Then when you are ready. I will endeavor to replace the memory of that act with much more pleasant ones.”
“The thought of losing you, or you blaming yourself for what happened—that is why I lied to you. I can’t lose you, not your respect or your love.”
He shook out his wings and wrapped her in them. “It will never happen. I am yours always.”
TO SAY HE WAS SHOCKED down to his core would have been an understatement. Being kicked by the Divine Father wouldn’t have caused him much more surprise. Lillian was pregnant. With his child. They were mates in every way. Yet their vows to the Divine Ones weren’t shredded beyond repair.
They’d managed the impossible.
Giddiness swamped him—elation, nervousness, excitement. Adrenaline pumped through his blood, urging him to run and hunt, to build her a lair, shelter her from all danger. He wanted to provide for his mate.
Of course, not even one of those ideas were possible at the moment—there were too many humans out in the forest. Rescuing Goswin and Whitethorn was bound to have stirred the humans into action.
Still, he wanted out of the house and to feel grass under his feet, to walk on all fours. Maybe cloaked in shadow magic with Lillian clinging to his back?
“Nope. Running around in gargoyle form is a terrible idea.” Lillian’s voice introduced reason back into Gregory’s thoughts. “And there are other things that need our attention.”
“No doubt.” Disappointment flashed through him. Lillian was correct. There was much he needed to do. Defensive spells were on the forefront of his mind. While they’d rescued two of their allies, it had likely put everyone else at risk. He’d feel better if he could start work on the protective spells sooner rather than later.
And he also needed to return to work on the spell weapons and continue with the preparations for an invasion. The Battle Goddess was just as much a threat as she’d always been.
“But first, why don’t we go have breakfast under my hamadryad?” Lillian asked, interrupting his thoughts.
He glanced down at her, gazing at her still flat stomach in mild wonder. Her requirements would increase in the coming days, and he planned to fulfill her every need.
“I will hunt us up something to eat.”
“I was thinking of something now,” Lillian admitted. “We could have a picnic under my hamadryad.”
Gregory merely nodded and began to gather up the items she suggested. Besides, it was a good idea. There was still much they needed to talk about. Lillian would know nothing about dryad pregnancy, and she must be curious now that she could ask questions freely without betraying why she wanted to know.
Chapter 26
SHADOWLIGHT REMAINED cloaked in shadows even though he was certain no one was in the upper parts of the house. Lillian and Gregor
y were off in the maze. Gran, Jason, and Greenborrow were all down in the dungeon discussing adult things, and he hadn’t been included. Shadowlight was actually glad. It gave him a chance to visit with Anna and bring her a stockpile of food.
Only his parents still worried him, but he was certain Darkness was busy keeping River from accosting Lillian about the baby. At least, that’s what his father claimed.
He didn’t know exactly how he should feel about his sister’s pregnancy. Not that he would admit it to anyone, but secretly he felt a little left out. Now, he doubted he’d have his mother or sister’s full attention. As for his father, he didn’t doubt Darkness’s love, but his attention was focused on outside dangers, and he had little time to lavish on Shadowlight.
Greenborrow still made time for him and was likely helping to distract the others so Shadowlight could bring food to his pet human. With his sack of food tucked under one arm, he stalked up the three flights of stairs to the attic. Maybe Anna would be pleased to see him.
He eased the attic door open and stopped short. Her door was ajar.
A soft scraping sound came from the northwest corner of the attic. Old furniture and boxes of assorted other items blocked his line of sight. He eased slowly in that direction, picking his way around piles.
Anna stood in front of a window barely large enough for her to fit through. She already had the window glass out of its casement. It sat propped next to her feet. On her other side was a long coil of rope she’d already tied knots into for ease of climbing. Where had she gotten the rope? Then he noticed most of the boxes were open, items scattered everywhere.
As he watched, she eased her head and shoulders through the window. Studying the terrain? Or orientating herself?
He came up behind her and waited until she extracted herself from the opening. While she was still straightening, he slapped a hand over her mouth.
A second later, her elbow slammed into his abdomen, and he realized his mistake. The back of her skull cracked against his muzzle with a painful thump even as her one foot stomped on his unerringly.
He grunted in surprise more than pain. She grabbed his left wrist and shoved it away and then twisted and kicked out at his knee.
Instinct and memories took over, and he jerked out of her range before she could inflict more damage.
“Shadowlight?” she whispered and then relaxed her battle stance.
“You were expecting someone else?”
“No,” she hissed back. “What the hell was that? Say something next time if you don’t want me to rearrange your kneecaps.”
“You’re trying to escape?” Hurt crept into his voice.
“Hell, yes. What did you expect? I’m being held prisoner. If anyone finds me, the leshii pretty much said I’m dead.” She stopped and looked him over. “I’m sorry kid. My chances of survival are better if no one knows where I am.”
“That’s a half-truth.”
“Okay. We’ve been over this. I’m a soldier. I’m duty bound to report what I’ve learned.”
“They will imprison you, too.”
She looked sad. “Only if they can catch me. I didn’t say I’d report in person. I’m not suicidal. I know what will happen to me if they catch me. Best case—I’m locked in a cage for life. Worse case? Well, I don’t want to end that way. But I still have intel that could save lives.”
Ah. He’d almost forgotten. She was a protector as well. The introduction of his gargoyle blood would only heighten those instincts in her. Protecting those weaker than himself was something that made sense to him. His path became clear again, and with a happy wiggle, he leaped at her and planted gargoyle kisses on every bit of exposed skin he found. “I’ll help you then.”
“Argh!” Her hands slapped at his muzzle, but her blows weren’t painful, so he knew she was holding back. “Enough. Stop. You win.”
He dropped to all fours and then padded over to the canvas bag he’d dropped before snatching her from the window. Grabbing the handles in his jaws, he walked into the bedroom and hopped onto the bed, pawing and rearranging the covers into a more comfortable nest. That done, he dug through the packages for the peanut butter cookies he could smell.
“Kid! We are not done talking yet.”
Shadowlight glanced up from his search. Anna was standing on the threshold, her hands on her hips, looking more than a little annoyed.
“We’re not?”
“No.” The one word was long, drawn out and made him think of his mother when he did or said something she didn’t agree with.
He tore open the package of cookies and watched her thoughtfully while he chewed.
“Oh...give me that,” she said and held out her hand for the bag. “Have you eaten breakfast yet?”
“No. I thought we could eat together and talk.”
“Sounds like a good plan. Just one problem. Cookies aren’t real food.” She took the sack and pulled out a number of items. Some she put in a pile off to one side—fruits and other things that weren’t as tasty as what she called cookies, landed in another heap.
To his disappointment, the cookies, rocky road bars, and almond bark all vanished back into the bag.
That left a selection of muffins, fruits, and a container of something called cottage cheese.
“Don’t suppose you brought cutlery?”
He shook his head. Cutlery—those things humans like to eat with. He’d forgotten about those items.
“Hmmm. Fingers it is.” She shoved the cottage cheese off to the side and took an orange and a banana. She peeled the orange, but her attention was all for him. “It was noble of you to offer your aid, but I can’t accept it. You shouldn’t be anywhere near my people. It’s not your responsibility.”
His ears twitched, and his tail flicked gently in confusion. That had to be one of the oddest things she’d said to him.
“Of course it is my responsibility. I saved you and put you in your present circumstances where you are now forced to question your loyalty and morals.”
“That is not how it works. I’m not your responsibility. I’m the adult. Doesn’t matter the species. Adults protect the young.”
“I’m a gargoyle. I exist to destroy evil. My physical age has no impact on my duty to serve the Light.”
“Screw that,” Anna barked. I want no part in serving your ‘Light’ if it requires children to be conscripted into its army. Having children fight your wars for you is pure evil. I don’t condone child soldiers, and I certainly won’t allow you to put yourself in danger because you think I’m somehow your responsibility.”
Her words were the truth, he felt it resonate within him. Yet, he was a gargoyle. His nature demanded he be a protector—a destroyer of evil. Those two truths did not rest comfortably within his mind. Children didn’t fight in the Divine Ones’ armies. Gargoyles did. Unable to hold her gaze, he rubbed his muzzle against his forearm, scratching a fake itch as a distraction.
His inability to hold her gaze didn’t stop her words. “Your family shouldn’t have included you in the attack on the transport. It was wrong on so many levels.”
“They didn’t want me there. Nevertheless, they needed another gargoyle to have any hope for it to be both bloodless and a success. They knew I’d only have followed anyway.” He glanced back up hoping she’d show even a little bit of pride in his accomplishments, but her expression wasn’t warm or proud. “None of the humans were seriously hurt.” He ducked his head and stared down at his talons. “I just wanted to make my parents proud.”
“Oh, kid.” She came over to him and patted his back somewhat awkwardly, but he didn’t care and tucked his muzzle along her side, being careful his horns didn’t catch her in the throat. After a moment, her arms came around his shoulders in a comforting hug.
“Kid, you’d make any parent proud. You’re smart, brave, noble, and have the biggest heart. You don’t need to put yourself in danger to prove anything. You’re still a kid. Promise me you will work on just being a kid. No more of thi
s warrior stuff, no more live-fire missions, hand-to-hand combat, or infiltrating behind enemy lines. There will be lots of time for that when you’re older.”
Shadowlight sighed. She’d basically just told him not to be a gargoyle. However, it was nice to be hugged, he decided as he snuggled closer. He would try to do as she asked.
“I won’t seek out trouble.” He agreed at last.
“Good.” She patted his back and then straightened. “If your mother is half the battleax I sense she is, I’ll deal with her if it becomes a problem. No more of this child soldier crap.”
He frowned. “What if danger comes hunting me?”
She gave him a grin, flashing her new fangs. “Then I’ll kill it.”
“And if you can’t?” he asked in the most reasonable voice he could manage.
“If it gets past me, you’re free to do what comes naturally. We’ll worry about morals later.”
Relief flooded his body. At least he’d tied himself to a malleable human. They were such a backward species in some ways, but he had hopes for this one’s trainability.
“Ha! Trainability! I’m not a dog. Nor am I the unreasonable one, my friend.”
He decided it was time to change the subject. “I’m going to be an uncle.” The word still tasted strange on his tongue, but he was excited all the same. Then something occurred to him. “What does an uncle do?”
“Uncle? Wow.” The human’s expression turned judgmental. “Your sister’s younger than me, and she’s having a kid? She’s, what, all of nineteen or twenty?”
Shadowlight tilted his head, wondering what had caused the new round of questions tinted with displeasure.
“She’s twenty.”
“Kid’s having kids, great.”
This time, Shadowlight laughed. “She may only be twenty years old in this lifetime, but the Avatars are much, much older.”
She pinched the bridge of her nose and then ran her fingers along her braids. “Thanks for the reminder that I’m now housemates with billion-year-old-demigods. That’ll be fun to explain in the report.” Sitting heavily in the chair across from the bed, she gave him a bemused look. “So, the demigods are having a baby?”
The Complete Gargoyle and Sorceress Boxset (Books 1-9) Page 68
