“You might want to change in the bathroom since you ripped the blinds off of my bedroom window,” Jake said as he pointed back towards the bathroom. Her smile grew and she took the boxes to go change.
Alice shifted uncomfortably in her heels on the grass behind all the chairs that were filled with Camille’s family. The cemetery was beautiful, in a haunting sort of way. Camille’s casket was a deep mahogany with chrome handles and fine details. Her parents wanted only the best for their daughter, even in death. She could hear whispers throughout the family about the stunningly handsome men that accompanied her. They all wondered how they knew Camille. The noise hushed when the sermon started; Alice cringed under her thick black sunglasses. She was having trouble remembering why she had decided to come, and the sun was shining inappropriately for a funeral. Cole gripped her hand, giving her the strength at least to stand there.
The more the sermon droned on, the more emotions grew and threatened to devour Alice. She couldn’t block any of it. Unable to stand it, she turned away and slid between Kokabiel and Sariel to leave. Sariel grabbed her by the arm and forced her to face him. She was beyond shocked by it.
Alice, don’t you dare.
Sariel, I can’t block it. I feel like I’m choking on smog. It sounds like their tears are screaming in my head, and I’m afraid I might…
You won’t. Just breathe, calm down and focus. You can do this, he demanded.
She stared back into her grandfather’s kind eyes and slowly, one by one, shut out each sad whimper from her mind, until nothing was left but her own sadness. I’m okay now. With that, Sariel let her go and she walked back to Cole’s side and took his hand. She was grateful that the conversation had only been heard by her Fallen family and Cole.
She looked to her left and saw tears beginning to swell in Jake’s eyes. Lost in herself, she had forgotten for a moment that she had promised herself to be strong for him, and there he was, crumbling from the inside out. She took his hand, lacing her fingers through his. He looked at her with a weak smile and tightened his hand on hers. Thank you, his voice whispered. She nodded and returned her focus to Camille’s casket, just as the last of the sermon was being read.
They all stood watching, silently, as members of her family spoke about a well spoken and kind girl. They didn’t know her at all, she thought. Jake’s grip tightened, but she felt it was the trade for a laugh he did not dare let escape. Once the funeral service was completed, almost everyone left except the immediate family who surrounded the casket. Alice, Jake and the others continued to watch from where they were standing as the casket was slowly lowered. Alice fought the tears, but as the casket disappeared from view, she sobbed uncontrollably. It was comforting to have Cole and Jake clutching her hands on either side, but it did nothing for the emotional chaos she felt.
When it was over, Kokabiel, Paul and Sariel headed back to the cars. Cole looked into her eyes and she mouthed for him to give her a moment. He nodded, but Alice knew he was unhappy that she was choosing to stay and stand with Jake. Cole caught up with his father, and Alice turned to Jake.
“We should get going to Max’s,” she said.
“Can we stand here for a few more moments?” Jake asked.
“As long as you need.”
She leaned her head on Jake, and he wrapped his arm around her. They stood staring at the hole as a cemetery worker filled it with fresh dirt and topped it with sod. Camille’s mother was a slender woman in an expensive suit; she stood off to the left watching as well, occasionally glancing at Jake and Alice. We should go, Jake, I think we have an audience. He nodded reluctantly, and they turned to leave.
“Excuse me?” Camille’s mother called.
Crap, Alice thought as she turned back around, “Yes?”
“I’m sorry; I just noticed, you seemed to have been close with Camille.”
“We were.” Alice answered for both of them.
“I don’t mean to be rude, but I’ve never met either of you in my life.”
Jake’s heart began to race; Alice could feel his tension flare into anger. He started to speak, but she cut him off.
“I picked her up for class one time, but she didn’t invite me in. She was my best friend and this was her boyfriend.” The look the woman shot the two of them was a cross between disbelief and disgust. It didn’t take much to understand why Camille never introduced them to her. “Well, from that look, I understand why you’ve never met us. Just know we loved Camille more than anything. We are sorry for your loss.” With that, Alice turned on her heel and dragged Jake behind her, his jaw dropping.
Out of ear shot, Jake stopped Alice, “You are the best pseudo-sister a guy could ever ask for.”
She smiled and punched him in the arm. “Let’s go before Cole really does kill you.”
It had been a month since the funeral and, as much as Cole wasn’t a fan of Jake’s, he was thankful that he was helping Alice through this rough time. Between school, working at the bar and the new “sibling bond” Alice was sharing with Jake, she was pretty busy. He knew she was keeping busy to avoid her feelings, but he had other things to attend to - one specific thing really - to find the bounty hunter who had murdered their friend. He knew their fathers were working on a plan to find out what the bounty hunters were up to, and Cole planned to use the information to track them. Today he was doing the unthinkable, going to the Field of the Dammed with his girlfriend’s father. Not exactly the kind of in-law bonding a boyfriend would be looking forward to. He knew how sensitive Paul was about Alice’s mother and honestly, he was nervous about the chance that he may speak to his own mother.
“Morning,” Alice said interrupting his thoughts. She leaned up and kissed him, “What’s for breakfast?”
“Blueberry pancakes and maple links.” He did miss these moments the most, the time alone where they just enjoyed one another’s company.
She ducked under his arm, leaning into him, taking a deep breath over the pan. “Smells delicious.”
He breathed in her scent, instantly calming his worries away. “Yes, you do.”
She grabbed a cup of coffee and climbed up onto the counter. “Cole, I think I need to apologize to you.”
“Oh, what for?” He raised his eyebrow at her, knowing it drove her up a wall, in a good way.
“Putting you through all of this, pushing you away like I did. You have been so amazing, just being here. I know you aren’t fond of Jake, and I hope you know I truly see him as a brother. We are in the same boat at the moment; it helps us both to get through it, I guess. I know he isn’t as lucky as I am; I have you to come home to. I’m just sorry. I know it hurts you and please know that was never my intention.”
He removed the last pancake and laid down the spatula. He walked up to her, reaching his left hand to her cheek and his right to her waist and leaned his forehead against hers, “I know; I think it’s time we move forward.”
“I agree,” she breathed into his mouth.
He growled in response, a habit he seemed to be forming. Her eyes grew hungry as she stared back into his. “You know, Alice, I am still a man and when you do things like that, it is hard for me not to rip your clothes off right here.”
She took the bait. You wouldn’t dare, she teased, laced with permission. So he did just that; ripped her clothes off of her body and kissed her ferociously. Her legs wrapped around his waist as he climbed up the counter on top of her. He loved the way she felt under him, her nails digging into and down his back. They moaned in unison into each other’s mouths. She was the only thing that calmed his rage, the only one who could save him.
Alice worked when she had to, but she hated being there. She could still hear Camille’s laugh from the space where the pool tables sat, getting dusty. Jake couldn’t touch them or even sit near them. Sometimes he sat silently, drinking himself into oblivion. She worried about him but understood exactly how he felt. She pretended it was okay, with the hope that she would believe it herself one day.
She packed up her car for class; she was glad that James had given her space during the last month. She wanted to be friends, but it felt like such a betrayal at this point, though her spirits had been lifted quite a bit from her encounter with Cole on the counter this morning. The idea made her blush a bit; they weren’t usually so savage. She had walked around, a shell of someone she had once been, for a month now. It hadn’t been fair to him, but who said life was fair? She heard the front door shut and turned to Cole.
“Did I forget something?” she asked.
“Oh, no. I’m meeting your father today.”
“Oh, right… well good luck.”
He waved goodbye and climbed into his car. The engine purred as it roared to life. She watched as he pulled out of the driveway and away from her. If only for him, I must pull myself out of this. She slammed her trunk, got in her car and headed to school.
She had started going back to school just two weeks ago. Her work was dark and angry. Her current piece was a monster with dark skin stretched across its boney, crooked structure, crawling from the shadows and devouring everything in its path. James walked up behind her, cautiously, “Frightening, but amazing as always, doll.”
“Thank you,” was her curt reply. He bowed his head and turned back to his easel. She sat staring at her canvas; it made her feel filthy and disgusted with the cruelty that scoured the earth. She looked back at James, who stared at his own canvas with a puzzled expression. She shouldn’t be punishing him for only wanting to be a friend, make her feel welcome and if she was being honest with herself, Camille would have loved him. Baby steps, she sighed as she set down her charcoal and walked over to James. “Coffee break?”
He smiled up at her, “With you? Damn straight. Well, you know what I mean.” She laughed as he stood and wrapped his arm around hers. “I missed you; the other people here are incredibly lame.”
“I missed you too, James. I’ve just been…”
“Sort of a mess,” he teased. “Well, you are a fabulous mess.” He pulled her out of the classroom into the student hall.
Paul paced outside the abandoned liquor store, occasionally glancing out into the field. Cole was getting more than anxious. He needed the information desperately, and his only time to actually hunt the bastard who did this were the days Alice went straight to work after school. He knew he would need a full day to make any form of headway.
“Paul? If you can’t do this, let’s just go,” Cole said, attempting not to sound as irritated as he felt.
“We have to do this, but you don’t understand.”
“You have been here before; we were all here before and Alice and I have been here dozens of times. This probably won’t even work.”
Paul stopped pacing, eyeing Cole. “It will work as soon as I stop blocking everything that has been damned in this field. You didn’t do anything to any of them; that’s why it doesn’t affect you until you are deep in the woods where their bodies or ashes lay at rest.”
“Their bodies?” Cole’s jaw dropped.
Paul’s eyes dropped to ground. “We meant well by it. Their souls were trapped here by the angels until the end. We buried their bodies and ashes with the hope it might bring them peace. Sadly it didn’t, but we continued to do so over the years.”
“Maybe we should wait for Alice, it may be easier for her.” He didn’t really think so but he was running out of patience with Paul, fighting his Fallen nature with his need for human emotion.
“No. She has been through enough. If she chooses to come here then that is a different story. Let’s go.”
They walked into the center of the field. Cole was surprised there was no trace of the battle they had fought months earlier. Paul walked up to the sinister trees; he laid his arms at his side and hung his head. Cole watched him for a minute or two before joining him.
Open yourself up to them, but carefully. It is torture to have your soul trapped in such a place. Since you do not have a connection to Marie, you may listen in. Use your shield to connect with me and to protect yourself. If it becomes unbearable, run back to the car, Paul said, his voice monotone.
Cole had been so thirsty for revenge he hadn’t really considered the severity of the situation he was in, and he knew it was nothing to what he would encounter when faced with the bounty hunter on his own. He hoped it would at least be only one.
The last time he was deep in these woods, he and Alice were crippled, on the ground in writhing pain. The only reason they had survived the encounter was that his wings had emerged, and he had dragged them out of the anguish that had flooded them. He had thought that it was worse because of their ever growing connection and her empathy, but as he opened himself up and reached his shield out to Paul, the voices attacked him in an unrecognizable mash of banter. He pulled back instantly, grabbing his throbbing skull.
Cole, focus on my voice. This is the same as when you practice blocking with Sariel. I’ve seen you do it well before Alice could. Focus, Cole.
He watched Cole struggle and was proud when he announced he was ready to proceed. If anything, Cole was persistent and would do anything to protect Alice. He felt Cole’s shield tighten around him; he was surprised that the voices seemed to be dulled. He was grateful for that, for what he was about to do was difficult enough.
Marie? Nothing. Marie, its Paul. Silence filled the field as all the voices hushed. He wasn’t sure if it was Cole’s doing or not. Marie, I know you can hear me. I know it is hard but please try. Still nothing. You have every right to be angry with me. I know you, in a sense, witnessed our daughter fight on this field. I did not want it to go that way; you have to know that.
I don’t think she wants to talk to you, Cole spat.
The boy has a point. Paul gasped at the sound of her voice. He thought he had prepared for it; he was wrong. Paul, it has been a long time since your last visit. You should know I am barely hanging on to my sanity. You were all I had. Marie’s tortured voice still rang beautiful in his head.
Paul’s fists tightened; his knuckles whitened. Our daughter, Marie. What do you know? Paul hissed.
Always so cold. I told her to be careful. They are coming for her, for you all. They will do anything to get her.
Who are they? Cole barked.
I don’t know; everything here is foggy. Memories blur with horrible images; it’s difficult to tell what is real. Marie’s voice sounded soft like rain. What was left of his heart, if you could call it that, was shattering.
Marie, I love your daughter, and I will do anything to protect her. Please, if you know where they are, tell me, Cole begged.
I’m not sure. I know they come here from time to time to listen in on the souls trapped here, trying to locate those who still live. They leave by the river. The silence was interrupted by a loud rumble of voices. He felt Cole re-adjust the shield as Marie continued. And Cole, thank you, all I ever wanted was for my Jane… my Alice, to be truly loved.
She is loved by many, and this guy isn’t so cold these days. Cole let a chuckle slip.
Paul wanted to argue, but it was true. He struggled every day between the human emotion he allowed himself to feel and the cold Fallen he truly was. I will protect her always, was his only response.
I know you will, my love. Paul’s eyes burned with salt; he knew she was pulled back into the depths of wherever it was they went. He hadn’t spoken to her in years; it was entirely too painful. He felt Cole’s shield retreat and he fell to the ground on one knee. He almost dared to pray for her soul, again.
Alice had finished one of her projects before her coffee break with James. He knew she wasn’t up for talking, so instead he made fun of the other students, she assumed to lighten the mood. She did enjoy his company; and he really could be quite entertaining.
When they returned to class Theresa watched her quietly from behind a book. She set up a new canvas and stared at it. It felt like she sat there staring at it for hours before Theresa told her, “Sometimes it’s best to take a bre
ak; it will come to you.” Eventually, she gave up and headed to work. Cole was off with her dad, talking to her dead mother while she was stuck pretending everything was peachy. What a life.
Max practically walked on eggshells around her. She hated having to pretend everything was okay when it wasn’t. He eventually headed home, same routine as always, only now it was built in to her. She went through the motions but felt like nothing more than a robot; she had once loved her job. Jasmine put some quarters in the jukebox before leaving. Besides being a mean crone, she was weird, too. Jake sat at the bar, glaring at the pool tables.
“Jake, quit it,” she demanded.
He pushed his empty glass towards her, “Double.”
“Come one, Jake, slow down.”
“I don’t need to slow down in case you’ve forgotten what I am.”
“Just because you are hurting doesn’t mean you have to be such an asshole,” she said as she poured him another double and slammed it on the bar.
“Look at the pot calling the kettle black,” Jake purposely slurred.
“Enough!” Sariel’s voice boomed. They both stared in shock. “We all loved her; I know you are hurting, but you have to stop this. It was a horrible thing that happened to her, but she is gone; we cannot bring her back. Everyone’s lives are in danger. Penemue and Kokabiel might want to pretend we have nothing but time, but I, for one, will not lie about it. Angels, bounty hunters, God, they all want you dead, Alice, so they may throw us all into the abyss. All of humanity will be destroyed, divided by their sins, their faith. So please, stop fighting. We will never survive if we do not stand together as one.” Sariel stood up and walked out the door, leaving the two of them alone to stew on his words.
They stayed stunned for awhile, staring at each other in complete awe of what had just happened. Then the most horrible thing that could have happened to Alice in that moment, did. The song on the jukebox ended, and the next song that started was Kiss with a Fist. Her eyes filled with rage as the memories of her and Camille rocking out to that song together in front of all the patrons, flooded her mind. She launched over the bar with Jake right behind her. She felt his hands slip over her arms as she flew to the jukebox. She shoved it with her shoulder and yanked the cord from the wall. She stayed partially propped on the jukebox, strangling the cord. Her façade was crushed; she couldn’t block her emotions and that was worse for her than not being able to block Jake’s. Tears flowed from her eyes as she felt Jake scoop her up in his arms. She latched on to him and cried like she had at the funeral. She could feel the rumble from his chest and knew that he was, too. He slowly collapsed to the floor with her in his arms; they clutched onto each other, filled with misery and hopelessness. They both knew that the other did not judge them, and they were the only ones who truly understood how they felt.
Alice's Sacrifice (Alice Clark Series) Page 5
