When the doll was safely tucked away, Em decided to visit Lucy’s grave one more time before she left.
The grass was soft beneath her. The sky was blue above. A gentle breeze moved the trees, making the leaves rustle against it. This was a place Lucy would love.
“I have to go away now, Lucy. I think you understand. I can’t stay here forever—it’s not my home. I’m not sure where my home is, but I’m going to start by heading west to Azure Springs. It’s a small town, but the people are good. It took me a while to see that, but they are. There is a family with two little girls. They love my stories, just like you did. I think I’ll start by telling them one. I’ve never told them the story of the beauty that loved the beast. I think they’ll like it. You always did.
“I have a friend there too. He was here. He even said hello to you. I know if you were here, he would make you laugh. I want to see him again. After that, I don’t know. But I know time is short, and with so much loss, I owe it to myself and others to live. So I’m going to. Olive says she puts flowers here all year. I’m glad you had her to love. Mama would be happy knowing you were with such good people.”
Em pulled the faded packet of papers from her pocket. “This was Ma’s. I’ve been waiting to open it with you. I thought we could read it together. See if there is anything important.”
Sitting beside her sister’s grave, she opened the packet. Her hand shook as she lifted the flap and pulled out the papers. Inside she found a note about a room to rent and a job listing from a newspaper. Under these was another clipping from a paper. This one told about an accident at the docks and the deaths of eight workers. No names appeared in the article, but Em was certain her father was one of the men.
A yellowed envelope caught her eye next. Inside she found a letter written in neat little penmanship. It was signed, “Mary.” Curious, Em began reading aloud.
Dear Viviette,
Your letter delighted me. What happy news, a baby girl. I hope to visit someday and meet your Emmeline myself.
Em stopped and stared at the words. Reading them again, she realized she had seen them correctly. Her name was Emmeline. Not just Em. Eager to learn more, she kept reading.
I have missed you these years since you have been away. I am sorry that Father and Mother will not welcome you. I thought John was a good man and I understand why you married him. They never speak of you, but I have seen Mother pull out your portrait and look at it when she thinks no one can see her.
I have been courting Edward Brentley. You remember him, I am sure. Father approves of the match. Just think, your baby sister could be Mrs. Brentley before long. I wish you could come.
The letter went on about other friends and social outings. There were more letters from Mary. It was easy to piece some of it together. Mary was Em’s aunt, and from the looks of it, she was the only member of the family who wrote to her mother after her marriage to John Cooper. Under the stack of letters from Mary, Em found a note written in a shaky hand.
My Beautiful Girls,
“Lucy, this is a letter to us. From Ma. She wrote us a letter.” Excited, she read on.
I am very ill and I fear I will not be with you much longer. Life has been hard on us, but the moments of joy you brought to me have been worth every trial. I am proud of you both.
Emmy, my beautiful Emmy. I have loved you always. Keep fighting, dear girl. Fight for a better life. Fight for love. It’s out there. Even in this harsh world, it is there. Not always where we expect it, but it’s there. Find it, cherish it, sacrifice for it. I have such dreams for you, dreams where my freckled-face girl is treasured. Dreams where you smile and laugh. When I go, know that you are not alone. Don’t be afraid. A way will provide itself for you. Live, Emmy, and love. That is what I wish for you.
Lucy, my baby. I have been gone from you so often. My heart aches at all I have missed and all I will miss. I have always known Emmy would care for you. She will find you a place where you are loved. I pray you stay the happy girl you are. Always brightening the world around you. Keep smiling. I know you will. Some dark corner of the world will be brighter because my Lucy was there.
I love you both. Your pa did too.
Love, Ma
For a moment she sat, letting her ma’s words hang in the air. Then she gently patted the ground where Lucy lay. “She loved us, Lucy. I always knew she did. Hug her for me. Tell her I’m going to live and love. Tell her I will remember her every day. And please, stay as near me as you can. I need you. I always have.”
She put the papers back into the packet and stood. Then she tucked it back into her pocket. Looking at the light dancing between the branches of the trees, Em put her hand out and let it fall across her skin. Like a kiss from heaven. Like a kiss from Lucy. Then, raising her eyes to the light, she said, “I love you too.”
Twenty-One
Anything for me?” Caleb asked Calvin at the post office.
Calvin turned and looked in a little square box. “Nope. Nothing today.”
“Thanks for checking.” He turned and left the small post office. Why hadn’t she written? A letter should have come by now.
Margaret saw him as he passed the boardinghouse on his way to the jail. She was outside washing sheets with Laura, the daughter from a family that was new to town. “Problems in Azure Springs?” she yelled as she walked toward him, leaving Laura to the laundry.
He approached. “No, ma’am. Why do you ask?”
“I just thought there must be something awfully wrong for you to look so distraught.” Margaret hung a sheet on the line. “You spend enough time watching people and you start to understand them. At least a little.”
“What do you understand about me?”
“Your whole world changed when that skinny stray was brought in. And now you miss her more than you thought you ever could,” Margaret said matter-of-factly.
“You’re right—you have learned a great deal from watching. She was nothing but a case to solve when she showed up. I’m not sure when it happened, but it all became something more.” Caleb sighed. “I left her in Beckford so she could find her own way. I had thought she would come back or write. At least I had hoped she would. This wondering and not knowing, it’s agony. I don’t understand why she hasn’t come back.”
“And if she comes back?” Margaret raised her eyebrows. “What then?”
“I don’t know.”
“Well, you better know. If that girl comes back, it’s because she thinks she can have a life here, but she won’t wait forever. You have the time right now. Rather than moping around town, figure out what you’ll say if you get the chance.” Margaret was standing with her hands on her hips, looking ready to pounce on him. “Better decide what you want.”
“Em said you were good at saying exactly what you thought.”
“Life’s too short to keep people wondering. You remember that when you see that girl of yours. Just because she doesn’t look like the belle of the town doesn’t mean that every man around is too dim-witted to leave her alone. Someone will see her beauty.”
“I’ve worried over that.”
Margaret laughed, her curls shaking with each breath. “Don’t waste time worrying. Act.”
Caleb brought his brows together, thinking hard. What should I do?
“Come in, Caleb,” Eliza said. “How have you been?”
“I just got an earful from Margaret Anders. Other than that, not much has changed.”
“No word from Em?”
“No. I checked on my way here. I was hoping I would have news to share. I know Mae and Milly would’ve been happy to hear something.”
“We all would have.” Eliza looked remorseful. “Sometimes you don’t know a good thing until it’s gone. The house hasn’t been the same since she left. We’re all hoping she comes back to town. Mama has a letter Em left. She showed it to me and Pa but hasn’t shown the little girls. I think she’s still hoping Em will return.”
Mae ran in the back door and
through the house to Caleb. “Do you notice anything different about me?”
He bent to her level and looked at her closely. “I know—you changed your hair?”
“No.”
“You got a new bonnet?”
“No.”
Milly came into the room then too. “The same thing that happened to her happened to me.”
“That is a fine clue. Aha, I know now—you’ve had a birthday.”
“Yes,” the girls said together.
Mae’s smile faded. “And Em missed it. We had ice cream, and Em has never had it before.”
Caleb was glad Em could not see the pain on the little girl’s face. “I’m sure she wanted to be here.”
“Why doesn’t she come back?” Mae asked. “Did you really do your best to bring her home?”
“I wanted her to come, but she had to stay. At least for a while.”
Her hands fell to her sides. “Do you think she will ever come back to us?”
Eliza answered this time. “We all hope she does. But Em has to do what is best for Em. She would want us to be happy here. So no sitting around feeling sorry for ourselves. Let’s go and eat together.”
The girls, still sullen, left them and went to the dining room.
“How have you been?” Caleb asked Eliza.
“I’ve been doing a lot of thinking. It’s been hard. Realizing who I had become.” She took a deep breath. “I have to tell you something . . .”
He waited.
“I’m not proud of this. It seemed harmless at the time, but it was cruel and hurtful.” She stopped again. “This is so hard.”
He said nothing, giving her the freedom to say what she would.
“I’ll just say it. I started the rumors about Em when she lived here. I told the other girls in town. I didn’t think about the harm it would cause her. But then when you woke me up to what I was becoming, I realized how wrong I was.” Eliza’s eyes were focused on the floor. “I’m so ashamed.”
“You told the girls the stories? About Em and George? About the saloon? You started all of that?”
She nodded. “I was jealous and wanted her to go away. But now I want to tell her how sorry I am. I’ve told everyone I can think of that the stories weren’t true. But I haven’t told Em. What will she think of me?”
“She’ll think you were wrong. But you are setting it right and that is all that matters now. She’ll forgive you. She seems to have been born with an extra measure of grace.”
“What do you think of me?” Eliza looked at him, her eyes begging for an honest answer.
“I think you’re growing up. Your mama will be proud of who you’re becoming.” Caleb took her arm and led her to the dining room.
Before they entered, Eliza said, “I know why you love her.”
He stopped. “Love her?”
“Yes, love her. I’ve seen it written across your face. I had hoped you would look at me like you looked at her, but it wasn’t meant to be. Where I saw unrefined manners and coarse clothing, you really saw her. I only wish I had seen her sooner.” Eliza smiled then. “I hope she comes back for you. I thought I could make you happy, but I’m not Em.”
“No, but you will be someone’s Eliza.”
They sat down to dinner then. He was grateful for this good family and their welcoming home.
When he walked back to the jail that night, he thought about Margaret and Eliza. What they had said to him had him thinking. He had been moping around for weeks now. He couldn’t control whether Em came back, but he could decide what he would do if she did.
Twenty-Two
Home.
When had Azure Springs become home?
Em gathered her few belongings and moved toward the door, ready to get off the train. Finally the doors were opened and she set foot on Azure Springs soil. Everything looked welcoming to her. The buildings were just how she had left them. The trees had begun to change color but were right where they belonged. The saloon was noisy as she passed it. And there was the jail. Did she dare stop there first?
“Just knock,” she told herself. And she obeyed—knocking, then waiting. Her heart pounded as the seconds ticked by. She raised her fist to knock again.
“Is that a stray?” she heard someone ask from behind. Turning, she saw Caleb strutting her way. There he was. Just as handsome as she had remembered.
“I am no stray.” Waving her arms about, she declared, “This is my hometown and I don’t plan to go anywhere.”
He nodded as he looked her over. Then he put a hand to her forehead. “You all right, Em? Last I saw you, you weren’t sure where you belonged. I’ve been worried about you.”
Pushing his hand away, she stood a little taller. “It’s one of those happy days and your teasing won’t change that. I woke knowing I was coming home and haven’t stopped smiling since. And it’s Emmeline, but you may call me Em for short.”
“Emmeline, is it? That’s a beautiful name.” Then he stepped closer and took her hand in his. His touch sent her heart racing. “Beautiful name for a beautiful girl. The answer to your question is yes. Yes, there are men who will see you as beautiful and there are men who will think a lifetime is not enough time to spend with you.”
Her breath caught in her chest. Her question. He’d answered it.
She stared at him with her mouth open. He thought she was beautiful! He reached over and pushed up on her chin. “Don’t look so surprised. Tell me something, have you seen Mae and Milly yet? Or did you come here first?”
Em shook her head. “No, I haven’t been there yet.”
“Well, they cried buckets of tears when I came home without you. Let’s go and see them. I owe them a story. And I think today is just the day to tell it to them.” He took her bag and led her to the Howells’ house.
As they walked, he asked her about her weeks in Beckford. Em stopped thinking about his perfect answer to her question and told him about the letters from Lucy and the letter from her mother.
“I loved it there in Beckford. I loved Walt and Olive. I loved feeling close to Lucy, but something in me told me it was time to go. That I needed to find something other than the past to cling to.”
He nodded. “So you came back here.”
“It was hard for me to though. I was so afraid I would lose Lucy all over again when I left, and it did hurt walking away from her little grave, but I think she is here with me. I think she would want me to tell Mae and Milly more stories and create a life for myself.”
“I think you’re right.” Standing in front of the Howells’ door, he asked, “Are you ready to be pounced on by two overzealous twins?”
“I am. I am very ready.”
He raised a hand and knocked. Before the door opened, he bent over and whispered in her ear, “I missed you, Emmy.” And then he kissed her cheek.
When she brought her hand to her cheek, she felt as though the kiss were still there. A sweeter welcoming gift she could not imagine.
“You’re back!” the two girls were screaming when the door opened. Instantly, they were on both sides of Em, pulling her inside and into the front room. They asked questions, hugged her, and laughed all at the same time.
“Hold up, girls. I know you have lots to say to Miss Emmeline, but I promised you a story and today is the day I’m going to tell it. Sit, you three, and listen.”
On command they sat.
“This is a new story. It’s a story about a prince. This prince received a decree from his father to find a fair maiden to marry. The prince looked far and wide hoping to find the fairest maiden of all to please his father, the king. There were several pretty girls in his kingdom. He looked them over, wondering which one he should offer his hand to.”
“Did they have rosy complexions and fair skin?” Mae asked.
Caleb tried to keep a straight face. “Yes, there were lovely ladies just like that in the town. This prince tried to decide which of them was the fairest, but could not decide. For there was another that caught
his eye. This maiden was different. She had a magical kind of beauty. The kind that can only be seen if you know how to truly look at a person. At first the prince had not seen it. He had thought her too plain.” He looked up and caught Em’s eye. He winked at her. “He thought her skinny and plain.”
Mae interrupted again. “Why didn’t he see her magical beauty?”
“He hadn’t seen it because he had been misled by evil men who told him beauty had to look a certain way. But once, when he was high in a tree, he looked down at the girl and saw a sparkle in her eye. When he saw her again, he looked harder, trying to figure out what it was that made this maiden so different from all the rest. She laughed this time and the sound echoed through his mind. It was like the sound of birds singing to the morning sun. It was perfect. Every time after that, he found something else beautiful about the girl. He found that she was strong, honest, and brave. Did you know goodness is the fairest of all the beauties?”
Milly looked at him with dreamy eyes. “Am I good?”
“Indeed you are. And someday I am certain a man will see that goodness and carry you off to his castle. Now where was I?” He glanced at Em. She was sitting next to Mae with a far-off smile on her face, her hand absently running through the girl’s hair.
“Ah, yes. He was finding more and more beauty in this girl. He discovered talents he’d not known she had. This girl could catch frogs and shoot guns.”
“Guns! What kind of a story is this? That is not what princesses do,” Mae said.
“It’s very different from Em’s stories. Are you sure this is a princess story?” Milly added.
“Let me finish. Shooting guns and catching frogs may not seem like what princesses do, but you’ll have to believe me when I tell you this girl was a princess and the very fairest of all. One day everything changed for the prince. When he looked at the other maidens, they no longer held any charms. Only she did. And he knew that she was his true princess.”
“Did the prince marry her?” Milly asked.
The Hope of Azure Springs Page 25
