“Well then maybe we should do something about that,” I offered. He raised his eyebrow curiously questioning whether or not I was serious. I bit my lip and then kissed him again, this time more intensely.
“Where are we going to go?” he asked. “The main room is a little crowded, and there’s children, probably not appropriate.”
“You said something about an original cabin here,” I said offering my hand once again as I stood up. “Where is it?” he took my hand as an excited grin crossed his face. Energy returned to his features as he took hold of the flashlight. Quickly he led the way past the main cabin down an overgrown path.
There was a small grove of trees that we passed through and on the other side was the tiniest cabin I’d ever seen. It looked like something you might see out of a fairy tale book, with its two shuttered windows and old weathered door. Clara would call it creepy, but to me it was sweet and the perfect place for us to find some alone time.
Seth opened the door, which creaked loudly in the quiet of the night. He flashed the light through the room revealing just how small the space really was. There was only room for a large cozy chair, a small wood burning stove and a queen-sized bed. The chair and bed were both wrapped in plastic. So while Seth made work of starting a fire in the stove, I took the opportunity to remove the plastic. A plume of dust rose in the air as I tossed the plastic sheets outside closing the door behind them.
The cabin was freezing, almost worse than it was outside. It wasn’t ideal for getting naked. I had hope that Seth could get a decent fire going and with the size of the room, hopefully it would heat up soon enough. Seth managed to get a decent fire going after a couple wasted matches. “I’m not used to matches, I always use lighters,” he defended himself.
We sat down on the chair together as we waited for the room to warm up. I placed the flashlight on the floor, so the light hit the ceiling, casting a sweet glow in the darkness of the room.
I waited for him to make the first move, but he didn’t. He sat there waiting for me to initiate, almost like he was worried I was going to change my mind. I thought we’d moved past this shy awkward sex phase. I gave up waiting for him and pulled him close as I embraced his lips with mine. He didn’t need more than that, to know I was serious. He pulled me in close and I couldn’t tell if it was the fire or his lips causing the heat to flood through my body. I threw his coat on the floor as I moved to sit on top of his lap. He pulled me in excitedly kissing my neck.
“I have to say, I’m surprised you would give in so easy,” he said as he kissed his way down to my collar bone.
“What do you mean? It’s been days and we’ve both been dying for a chance to be together again. Or was that just me?”
He laughed as he pulled away brushing my hair out of my face. I decided to return the favour and began kissing his neck as he tried to focus enough to speak. He fumbled with the belt to my jeans as he replied, “Of course I have, and I do. That’s not what I meant. I thought when Leah came on, it would still take some talking you into starting a family.”
This time I pulled away as I stared down at him confused. I’d wondered when he would bring up Leah’s profession and our previous discussion, but I never thought it would come up like this. It was actually killing my libido at the moment, which I would have thought impossible. “That’s not what we’re doing. And I haven’t changed my mind yet. I said we’d talk about it. I don’t know why my suggesting naked time, would make you think I changed my mind.”
He stared back at me just as confused. “I thought…well we don’t exactly have any protection on us. That stuff is still onboard the boat. I thought your wanting to do this without, meant you were ready.”
I moved off of his lap to sit down on the edge of the bed shaking my head. “Well you shouldn’t have assumed.” Old me would have been pissed at his overzealous assumption, but I wasn’t. I don’t know when I started to let go of the anger. It had probably been happening for a while now. All I knew was, that being angry was exhausting. And I was tired of being angry. Seth’s mistake actually caused me to laugh out loud. He looked both relieved and curious at my passive reaction.
I reached into my pocket and pulled out a single condom, which I waved in front of him. “I’ve been carrying this around in my pocket since Christmas day, waiting for an opportunity to use it.”
He moved to sit down on the bed beside me as he took the condom out of my hand, looking a little disappointed. “Well at least you’re not mad at me. So, do we still get to use this?” He asked hopefully.
I pushed him down on the bed as I crawled on top of him. “So long as you agree that if and when we choose to start a family, that it will be a mutual decision that we actually discuss and not just assume the other has agreed to. I’m not saying ‘never’ Seth.” I kissed his lips softly. “I’m just saying not now. We’re both young and we have plenty of time for that. Right now, I just want to enjoy being the two of us. Does that sound good to you?”
He smiled and whispered yes at the same time as he sneakily maneuvered his way to flipping me over on my back. I giggled as I retreated up the mattress to the head of the bed. He followed quickly, reaching out for me, pulling me in close to kiss my lips. His body pressed tightly against mine as his lips moved down my neck. The room suddenly felt way too warm. He must have felt the same way. We made quick work of removing our clothes as we crawled under the covers.
I never knew that love could feel this good, that I could be this happy. Every moment we spent together, only drew me closer to him. After, as he lay sleeping, his arm wrapped around me, I couldn’t help but watch him. It was my turn for thoughts to keep me awake. He was more than I deserved. I couldn’t believe that I got to spend my life with him, and it was going to be a long one. I was sure of that now. This was our home and we were going to grow even closer together here.
Watching him like that, with a peaceful smile on his face, I realized something. I would do anything for him. And that meant that if he wanted a family, I’d give him that. He’d given me a home and more love than I ever thought I could have. It wasn’t like I didn’t like kids. That had never been the reason for my objection. My fear was always that I’d bring a child into this world, only to have to watch them go out. But now that fear was fading quickly. And I decided that tomorrow I would tell him that I’d decided that if after a year we were safe, and our home was stable and secure. If the children, we brought here were healthy and happy, then I’d be happy to make a baby with him.
This was the beginning of a new dawn for humanity. I could feel it. We could build a life here. We could find others, settle them on the other islands. We could start over. Humanity had a chance and I was a part of that.
Epilogue
I stared out at the water as the waves lapped up on my bare feet. It felt nice on this warm June evening. Seth snuck up behind me wrapping his arms around my rapidly expanding belly, positioning himself perfectly for the pictures Jane and Matthew were taking for our wedding album…it was their gift to us.
My beautiful white chiffon gown billowed in the gentle breeze. I smiled at Seth as he gazed into my eyes just like Jane had instructed. “Okay now turn around,” she instructed me. “I want you to get nice and close to him. Wrap your arms around his neck.” I did as she instructed. “You two need to squeeze in a little tighter,” Jane ordered.
Seth pulled me in as close as we could get. My bump was pressed up so tightly against his body, that he could feel the baby kick, which only made his smile grow even wider. “This is as close as we’re getting,” he replied, not taking his eyes off of me.
The day I found out I was expecting, was the day I turned twenty. When the pregnancy test had first came out positive, I’d been beyond upset. This wasn’t a part of my plan. The plan was to wait a year. Of course, as these things go, they rarely happen when you want them too. The fact that we were using expired condoms, really didn’t help either. And apparently carrying them around in your pocket, is a big no-no.
It would have been nice had someone told me that. Our very first night on the island, we conceived our child. All it took was one broken condom and there we were, staring at two pink lines.
I think Seth was expecting the old me to come out, rearing her angry face. Maybe he thought I’d yell at him, blame him. But instead I’d bawled, collapsing on the ground at the other side of the island, far away from prying eyes. I’d been inconsolable. It didn’t matter what he said, he couldn’t calm me. He left my side only once to try and get some support from Jane and Leah of course. No one could convince me that it would be okay. They didn’t understand that what I needed, was that whole year to believe that life could go on. Yes, the kids here were thriving for now, but that didn’t mean it would last forever. What if a bad flu ran through our group, taking one of them? Or another group found us, the unfriendly kind. There were so many variables and we just couldn’t predict them. I couldn’t imagine staring at the grave of someone else I loved.
Seth and I had stayed apart from the group all that day and through the night. Leah and Clarke gave up their turn in the old cabin that night, so we could be alone. All the couples divided up the alone time in the cabin now. We’d get a week at a time to ourselves. It was the best option, until we could build more.
I was grateful Leah had been so selfless. I really couldn’t see the others when I was in that state. That night I cried myself to sleep while Seth spooned behind me. His arms holding me close as I sobbed. Thankfully, the only person who could possibly calm me, came to me that night in my dream. I hadn’t seen her since the day we left our old home. She was just as beautiful as I remembered, with her flowing golden locks and her simple white gown. Like before, she didn’t say a word. She didn’t need to. What she did was all I needed to know that the life I carried inside me would be okay. She walked up to me, placed her hand on my belly and smiled the most amazing smile. And in that instant, I knew that my baby would live and that I could have faith that everything would work out.
In the morning Seth had been surprised by my sudden turn around. When I told him why I was better, he said that now he owed Molly even more. We agreed that if this baby was a girl, that she’d share my sister’s name. And if this was a boy, we’d continue having babies until we could have a girl to name after her. I think secretly Seth was hoping for a boy…probably a whole bunch of boys first. He wanted a big family. He missed his and the love they shared.
We decided that once we’d finished the main cabin and built up our supplies, that we would focus on our wedding. Seth wasn’t content with a small ceremony like I’d suggested. He wanted it to be a big party. He said we deserved to celebrate.
So here we were, all dressed up. He’d gone out with the guys to the closest tux shop they could find and made out quite well. He looked quite dashing in his suit. And once Seth was sure the area was secure, the women and I went out to look for dresses. While the wedding shop we’d found had been quite untouched, I still had a heck of a time finding a dress to not only accommodate my expanding belly, but to be something I actually wanted to wear. I still wasn’t fond of dresses. But in this Greek goddess inspired gown I felt beautiful. The look Seth gave me as I walked down the aisle that afternoon, made me believe I really was a goddess.
Jane had walked me down and given me away to Seth. Matthew had stood by Seth in his little tux as his best man; Clara had been my maid of honour, in a lovely blue chiffon gown. And Cletus had acted as our pastor. I think had Doc still been alive, Seth would have wanted him to do it. But Cletus had done a great job as it was. He had even made an effort to act serious, which wasn’t easy for him. I hated to admit it, but Seth had been right. Making a big deal out of this day was worth it. This was a day I’d treasure for the rest of my life.
Seth and I walked down along the beach hand in hand, gazing into each other’s eyes as Jane snapped away with the new camera, she’d found on one of her scavenging trips. The pictures would go in our history book we’d started. It was the idea I’d come up with to help us remember. We put in pictures of those we lost and if we didn’t have pictures, we’d write stories or draw pictures of our loved ones. This way they were never really gone. And now the book had become more. It was a way to document our new lives, for those who’d come after us. I could almost imagine our great-grand-daughter, sitting down looking at these pictures and imaging how we’d felt on this day.
“Are you guys finished already?” Cletus yelled from the house. “We’re starving up here.”
Jane rolled her eyes and signalled for five more minutes. She took us over to the little cabin, which was going to be our honeymoon cabin. We’d get the whole month in it. Kyle was the only one who’d put up a fuss about that. He’d thought one week was plenty. But then he and Clara had just recently been added to the couples list. This cabin was our new love shack. And we all affectionately called it that.
After Jane was done taking the five hundredth picture, or so it felt like, we headed up to the others to join in the feast. Leah and her family had taken charge of the dinner. They’d prepared duck, fish, and an assortment of fresh vegetables from our greenhouse. It actually looked like a real meal and not the canned crap we’d been eating for so long. If we kept this up, we might not have to make any more supply runs. At least that was the plan.
We sat down at the head table, which had been placed out in the middle of the garden area. Jane and Clara had strung up paper lanterns between the trees. With the sun slowly setting, it looked absolutely perfect. Everything about this day had been perfect, especially my husband sitting beside me. I was still getting used to calling him that. It was such a strange word and not one I ever thought I’d use.
As the sun finally set, the lanterns took over lighting our party with the stars and moon to assist. It was a beautiful way to end the most perfect day. Cletus, Kyle, Jake, and Clark had been preparing for some time to entertain us with their music. They liked to call themselves a band, when in reality they were just four guys who could sort of play musical instruments. Jake had just started learning and I was pretty sure he’d only taken it up to impress Ginger. Not that he needed to. That relationship was progressing very fast. Way too fast for Jake’s parents and Ginger’s aunt. Soon enough we’d probably have to include them in the rotation for the cabin, not that either side of adults was okay with that. But with the way those two were going, they’d find a way to be together whether we gave them the alone space or not.
The band played the first song for just Seth and I to dance to. Seth led me out on the dance floor, taking my hand in his. As the music began to play, I realized I recognized the tune. It was a song my mother used to play all the time. It was actually her favourite country song. She used to play on the piano and make us sing too. I smiled up at Seth. “Did you do this?” I asked.
“Guilty,” he replied. I leaned in and kissed him softly. “I take it that you like it.”
“No.” I shook my head. “I love it. I love everything about today and most of all I love you.” A tear fell down my cheek. These days there was no attempting to hide them. “Thank-you. I’d given up on having any of this a long time ago. I really didn’t think I’d ever find someone like you, let alone have the chance to love you not just for a little while, but for a lifetime. I’ve never been happier to be wrong.”
He pulled me in close wrapping his arms tightly around me. We were barely dancing anymore. He whispered in my ear, “I’d almost given up on this too and then when I found you, I knew I needed to make it happen. There was no way I was going to miss out on spending my life with you.”
We’d been so in the moment, that we didn’t even hear the song end. Cletus pulled us back into the present. “Okay enough you two with the mushiness. It’s time to get this party started. Everyone, get out there and dance.” The band started up again and this time it was a lively country number.
Seth simply shrugged his shoulders and then started spinning me around the dance floor so fast, I could barely catch my breath. The others
joined us on the tiny wooden dance space Clark had created. It was crowded, but no one cared. We were all too busy having fun. Fun was a word we were all rediscovering lately. It had taken awhile for us to relax enough to let ourselves have fun, but once we did, there was no stopping us. Every day we found time to just embrace the freedom of our sanctuary.
I left Seth on the dance floor to live it up with Kyle and some of the others. They were line dancing and my feet were killing me, so I decided to take an opportunity to catch some fresh air. I sat down at one of the far tables, alone with my thoughts, when someone decided to sit down beside me. To my astonishment when I turned around, I saw Nina sitting on the bench next to me. We really hadn’t had much interaction since we came to live on the island. Actually, Nina so rarely interacted with anyone these days.
I looked at her curiously. She stared at me for a moment and then blurted out, “Congratulations!”
“Thanks?” I questioned with my eyebrow raised. I wasn’t used to her saying anything to me. Normally these days I’d be lucky if I got a curt nod. She was kind of like that annoying neighbour you lived next door to. You know they aren’t moving and you’re not going anywhere, so you just try to be as civil as possible. We were never going to be friends, but we did have to work together here, so it was easier to attempt civility then to always gripe at one another.
“I know it’s strange coming from me, but I mean it. I’m happy for the both of you. You work well together. Seth’s a different person since you joined our group…and that’s a good thing,” she added. “We may not always see eye to eye, but I am happy that things worked out for the two of you. I think we all needed to see that something good could happen in this world. The two of you, and soon your little one, have proven that life can go on.”
I was so stunned I couldn’t even think of anything to say. She didn’t give me a chance to respond anyway. She simply smiled and headed off towards the main cabin. She’d been a part of the festivities, but not really an active participant. Of everyone she was having the hardest time adapting to our new situation. She rarely joined us for any games or activities and when she did, she was always on the sidelines as an observer. I wondered if Doc had lived if he could have changed that for her. I’d always thought the attraction was one sided, but now I wasn’t so sure. She’d taken his death harder than I would have thought.
Seeking Daylight Page 41
