Why is it so fucking sexy that she’s wearing a white bra? I want to remove that thing with my teeth, but I also want to take her on a picnic and see it peeking out from a flowery sundress when she’s lying on the grass under a tree. Goddammit, white bra, what are you doing to me?
She’s rocking her hips and humming, and I want to do everything with her all at once, but I’m going to make this last as long as I can for both of us.
“Turn around, Nina,” I growl.
“What?” She doesn’t seem to understand my meaning.
I place my hands on her waist and turn her to face the wall, moving her hands up so she’s gripping it while I unbutton and unzip her very tight jeans. When I press myself up against her perfect ass, she pushes back into me. I slide my hand down, two fingers into the front of her panties, and she’s so slippery and wet. I let out a groan as my fingertips stroke alongside her engorged clit. She’s holding her breath, and her whole body is shaking. I clutch her to me and slip one hand inside her bra, massaging her breast while my other hand rubs her clit.
“Fuck, you’re so wet.”
“Yes,” she whispers.
“This is for me?”
“Yes.”
“Just for me?”
“Oh yes.”
She’s starting to relax. So much so that she reaches one hand back to grab my crotch. All right. I slide two fingers inside her. My cock just wants to be inside that warm wetness, but it’s going to have to wait. At this angle, with those tight jeans, the way she’s grinding down on my hand, it’s the friction that’s getting her off. It’s more high school than I’m used to, but she’s so into it, I’ll keep going until she’s come on my hand if that’s what she wants.
She pushes against the wall with both of her hands, tensing and releasing.
“You like that?”
“Yeah.”
“You want me to keep going?”
“Yeah.” Her voice is girlish but raspy. I want her to say my name.
“You want me?”
“Yes. Vince. Yes.”
She’s so close. She must have been on the verge ever since we started kissing. Was that a million years ago or thirty seconds? I don’t even know anymore. I rub harder, fingers flat against her clit. She arches her back, tit pressing against the palm of my hand. Gasping, she drops her head back.
I take hold of her hair, tugging at it. Just that move is enough to send her over the edge. I feel her tense up as an electric shock goes through her, and then she’s undulating, making sing-song whimpering sounds that are innocent and totally fucking porny at the same time. She leans forward and tries to muffle those sounds with the back of her hand.
“I want to hear you,” I tell her. “I want to hear how I’m making you feel.”
She draws in a sharp breath before crying out. The most exquisite expression of pained pleasure. She reaches back to curl her arms around my neck. I bite the flesh where her neck curves into her shoulder. She lets out a yelp, and then I hear my name and a yes, and it’s all music to my ears.
I hold her to me, hands in place, waiting for the waves and the aftershocks to subside. When they finally do, before slowly pulling my hand out from her soaking wet panties and jeans, I say, “Was that good?”
She laughs quietly, shy and breathless again. “That was pretty good, yeah.”
“Good. That was just the beginning.” I spin her around to face me, pick her up, and carry her to the sofa in the living room. It looks like it’s just this front room, kitchen, and a bedroom in the back. I’ll save the bedroom for later.
When I set her down and start to pull off her jeans, she’s got this look on her face, like…there’s more?
I remove her shoes and stroke the arches of her beautiful feet, causing her to point her toes, and then I yank her jeans off completely. I kiss her from her ankles to her calves, tickling the backs of her knees until her long legs are relaxed and spread apart. I kiss her taut thighs while she wriggles around beneath me.
As soon as I lift my head up, she pushes against my shoulders so she can get hold of my shirt and pulls it off over my head. Tossing it aside, she stares at my bare chest like it’s a prize she’s just won. There’s that hunger again, and I’m feeling it too. She smooths her hands all over, down to my abs, back up to my shoulders, around my biceps, and then she grabs on to my rock-hard cock through my jeans. She sucks in a breath and looks up at me, rubbing her palm up the length of my erection. She licks her lips, and fucking hell I can’t look at her anymore or I’ll explode.
“Take off your bra.”
“You take it off,” she replies.
“Yes, ma’am.” I reach around to unhook the bewitching thing, uncovering the prettiest little tits I have ever seen.
My mouth is on them in an instant, tongue swirling around her hard pink nipples, and she’s already moaning and writhing around. There’s no act with this girl. She’s not trying to be some version of a porn star—she’s just giving herself to me. And I want her.
I want her.
I just fucking want her.
“Vince,” she murmurs. “So good.”
“I bet that fucking principal never made you feel this good. I bet he never touched you like this.”
Her whole body stiffens. “What?”
I’m so caught up in licking and sucking that I don’t realize what I’ve said until she pushes me away.
“I never told you he was a principal.”
Fuck.
“What…? You must have.”
“I didn’t.” I don’t even recognize her voice all of a sudden. The way she’s looking at me—covering herself—confused and scared.
It’s killing me.
“Who are you?”
Fuck.
I’ve spent a lot of my life being mad at myself, but never before have I fucked up like this at such an inopportune moment. “Fuck.” I stand up slowly so I don’t pass out, because there’s not much blood going to my head at this point.
She grabs a throw pillow and holds it in front of her chest, sitting up straight, not taking her eyes off me.
I start to pace back and forth like a tiger in a cage.
There is no way for me to spin this now.
I punch the air. “Fuck.” I gotta come clean.
I suddenly stop and stand in front of her with my feet apart, hands on my hips.
She’s backing away from me, as far back into the sofa as she can go.
I blew it.
“I’m Sadie’s ex.” I sigh. “Okay? Sadie? The nanny?”
Nina hasn’t caught on yet.
“She used to be my little brother’s nanny. And she was my girlfriend. And on Saturday she told me it was over. That she’d been seeing this principal guy for two fucking months.”
I watch how her face changes as she processes what I’m saying.
“Nobody’s ever cheated on me before. You know? I was so fucking mad. I was just mad. I didn’t know what to say to her. I just… I hated everything. I couldn’t think straight. When she left my place, I followed her. And she went to your guy’s place.”
Nina winces at the words “your guy.” I know. He’s not her guy anymore.
“The principal. When he came out, I was across the street. And I wanted to beat the shit out of him.” I start pacing again. “But I didn’t. I followed him. Because I had to do something. Because I wanted to see what kind of guy he was. This fucking elementary school principal… And he came here. To your place.”
I can tell she’s still barely absorbing what I’m saying. But I know what she’s thinking—Oh. Shit.
“I waited outside. Across the street. Pacing around, like I am now. And all of a sudden, your window opens up and all these clothes and things start flying out onto the sidewalk. And then he runs out, and you’re yelling and screaming down at him.”
She’s caught up now. She looks horrified. Not because of me but because I saw her like that.
I stand still again, facing her. Because I want
to make sure she gets this part. “I know what you’re thinking, Nina,” I tell her. “You think I saw you when you were at your worst—but I thought you were beautiful.”
She shifts around on the sofa for a second, and I wait until she’s still again before continuing.
“You were so angry. You were as mad as I was, but you were saying all this amazing shit. You were angry and articulate, and I thought…this person feels exactly like I do right now. She’s the only person in the world who knows how I feel right now. But she’s using words instead of fists. It was amazing.”
She stares at me, disbelieving.
“Really. It was amazing to me.”
She’s covering her mouth with her hands, her knees bent up to her chest.
“You were all, ‘you motherflorking piece of grit!’ Swearing but not swearing, and it was funny and weird. But you told him exactly how you felt, and it was great. He was being such a worthless little prick.”
She blinks slowly but doesn’t say anything.
She’s actually listening to me.
So I continue.
“From then on, all I’ve been able to think about is you…”
I have never said anything like that out loud to a woman before, but I let it float around for a few seconds. I can practically hear it fall to the floor with a thud. But I keep talking anyway. “I didn’t want to beat the shit out of the principal anymore. Which is good—for me. I don’t need that kind of trouble in my life right now. All I could think about was…getting to know you. Getting to feel better. With you.”
She’s studying my face. Really looking at me. It’s freaking me out, but I feel like someone’s really seeing me and hearing me for the first time in…so long.
“I felt…” Oh shit. I’m gonna say it. I can’t say it. Do not say it. “I felt a connection.”
Blech. Who am I right now? Everyone I know would laugh me out of Brooklyn.
I can’t read her expression, but she doesn’t run away screaming, so fuck it. I’ll just keep talking. “I didn’t see you leave your apartment for two days. If you hadn’t come out tonight, I would have buzzed you. Asked if you wanted to talk. I don’t know.”
She flinches, clutching the pillow to her chest again. “Wait… You’ve been watching my apartment for two days?”
“No. Not all the time. I have a job and a life. I hung out at the coffee shop at the end of the block.”
She blinks. “So you were only part-time stalking me.” She’s not teasing me. She’s trying to figure this out.
“It wasn’t stalking.”
“You followed me to the liquor store?”
“Everyone does that in New York. You see someone you’re interested in when you’re out, you follow her around to see what’s up. That’s not stalking. That’s being a guy in New York.”
She raises an eyebrow, not sure if she can accept this, but she lets it slide. Then she screws up her pretty face and says something that I am totally not expecting. “I don’t understand. Are you still in love with Sadie?”
“What? No. Fuck, no.”
“But are you… It sounds like you still have a lot of feelings about her.”
Feelings. Yeah. I’ve got feelings. But I’m sure as shit not going to tell Nina about them. Not now.
“The only feeling I have about her is anger.” My face is hot. I need to move. I should just go. Why am I even here?
Fuck.
But I can’t stop talking to this woman. I don’t want to stop. For the first time in so fucking long, I want to get stuff off my chest. Come clean. That’s what it feels like. It feels like I’m coming clean. Because she’s so clean.
I don’t know.
I don’t know why, but I think she can handle it.
I think she can handle me.
I think I want her to.
I can’t look at her, but I don’t want to leave.
I pace around again.
“You’re mad at Sadie because she cheated on you,” she says. “For two months. With someone so different.”
The heat.
The heat on my skin.
In my blood.
It has to come out.
“It’s not that, even.”
“It’s not?”
“No. I can’t fucking believe she did this. My family trusted her. I can’t believe she just fucking left us!”
I take two steps and punch the wall in front of me, and I don’t even realize I’m doing it until I hear her scream.
Shit.
My fist is through the drywall.
“Shit.” I pull my fist out and look over at her. “I am so sorry.”
She doesn’t seem scared or confused like she did when I mentioned “the principal.” Right now, she just looks concerned. For me.
“Are you okay?”
Am I okay?
“What? Yeah. Good thing I didn’t punch the exposed brick. It’s just half-inch drywall. I didn’t—I’m going to fix that. Tomorrow. I’m sorry—I can fix it. Don’t hire somebody else. I’ll come back and patch it up.”
I cannot fucking believe I just did that.
I look back at her.
She isn’t even looking at the hole I just made in her wall. Her brow is furrowed as she stares at the floor, shaking her head. She looks up at me. “So… This was just supposed to be a revenge fuck or something?” Her eyelids flutter when she says the word “fuck.”
“No. Yes. At first—yeah. But not after I started talking to you.”
She looks me in the eyes and then down at the floor again. After a few seconds, she watches me as she stands up. Still holding the pillow to her chest, she goes to the kitchen. “Stay there,” she says. “I’m gonna get something.”
She disappears into the kitchen. I fully expect her to come running out with a knife while shrieking. That’s what eighty percent of the women I’ve been with would do in this situation. If I were smart, I’d go out the front door and never look back.
But I still don’t want to leave.
I hear the fridge door open and shut.
Nina comes out holding a bag of frozen peas in front of the pillow at her chest. She walks over to me, picks up my right hand, and places the icy bag on top of my knuckles.
The sting of cold makes me jerk back, but nothing’s as startling as the way she’s looking at me—with such kindness and understanding. I have to look away. I have no idea what’s going to happen next. I just know that I have never met anyone like this girl before, and if I’ve blown my chance at getting to know her more, my fist will be going through every wall I encounter for the rest of my life.
4
Nina
Here are three things I came up with when I was trying to figure out how to get revenge on my ex yesterday: 1) Pay twenty kids to attack him with squirt guns filled with neon paint. 2) Bake him forgiveness cupcakes. Spit in the batter. 3) Be really nice to him but secretly hate him and tell Marnie that he never went down on me but he once asked me to blow him in his office after school. Trust that Marnie will tell all the other teachers.
Pretty uninspired. Vince’s idea is much more elegant and fun. While I would never have come up with it in a million years and it doesn’t seem completely logical to me…who am I to judge? This is my first ever one-night stand. I don’t seem to care what his motives are.
Ever since I began teaching first grade, I started seeing glimpses of the six-year-old boy inside every man I meet. Vince has been all man since I met him, but when he was telling me the truth about how we were connected, and after he punched the wall, I could see it in his eyes. The six-year-old boy inside of Vince is sweet and trying to act tougher than he is. He loves his mama, and he’s not going to hurt me. It’s a gut feeling, but I trust it.
And, I mean…no one has ever told me they felt a “connection” before. But we do have a somewhat bewildering connection.
When I’m ninety and looking back on my life, will I regret having sex with this man tonight?
Oh.
&
nbsp; Hell.
No.
In fact…if I had to live through three years of orgasm-less sex with a man I thought would make me feel safe, just to get to this guy who has already made me feel things that I’ve never felt before in the span of a couple of hours…WORTH IT.
“How’s that?” I ask as I hold the bag of frozen peas on the top of his hand and wait for him to place his other hand on top of it.
“Good. Thank you.”
“Can you still use your hand tonight?”
“Yeah, it’s fine.” He doesn’t get why I’m asking. “I should probably go, huh?” he says hesitantly.
I shake my head.
I haven’t had a reckless heart since I was sixteen years old and had no idea that a heart could be broken. But tonight, with Vince in my apartment and that blue drink coursing through my veins…
I do something that I never would have imagined myself doing my whole life up until now. I let the throw pillow that I’ve been clinging to my chest fall to the floor. The look on Vince’s face as he takes me in, standing in front of him naked but for my soaking wet panties, is enough to get me over my nervousness. I grab hold of his belt, pull him toward me, and kiss him. He lets the bag of frozen peas drop to the floor, grabs my ass with both hands, and lifts me up. I wrap my legs around his waist as he carries me to the bedroom. It’s almost as if there was no interlude, except there’s an intensity and urgency now.
“You sure this is what you want?” he asks as he lays me down on the bed, his voice husky and low and so sexy I bet he could make me come while reading the phone book out loud.
“Right now it’s the only thing I want. Just don’t break anything else.”
“I will try not to break your bed frame. But if I do, I’ll make you a new one.” He pulls me down to the edge of the mattress. “I also used to make furniture.” He winks at me as he lowers himself to kiss my neck, my chest, my belly while dragging his fingers lightly down my torso. He’s waking my body up in ways and places that are so unfamiliar to me, but I am fully committed to opening myself up to him for the rest of this night.
“For the record,” I say, all breaths and sighs, “the principal never did touch me the way you’re touching me. Or make me feel anywhere near as good.”
The Brooklyn Book Boyfriends Page 4
