by HJ Lawson
As if reading my mind, Zak places his arm around my shoulder, pulling me in closer.
It feels right, so warm and safe. I can feel my body stiffening up a little with nervousness and excitement. As soon as my body changes, Zak glances at me with an awkward look on his face. He can feel my tension. I stare into his eyes, and I can feel myself becoming at ease again. Zak’s eyes light up, and his smile is back where it belongs.
This would be the perfect time for my first kiss.
Zak leans over to me. Butterflies fill my stomach as he gets even closer. He reaches out with his free arm, slowly putting his hand on my chin, and he turns my face away from him, away from his lips, and toward the beautiful morning sunrise shining over the grassy hills. The clouds are glistening gold in the spectacular, red sky. This is one of nature’s most beautiful gifts.
I turn to look at Zak, mesmerized by God’s beautiful nature show. His eyes twinkle in the sunshine. He turns to face me and pulls me in closer to him so our lips are almost touching.
A smug smile crosses his face. As I lean to him, our lips meet. His are soft and warm. A strange feeling sweeps across my body. This is not like kissing a parent or a friend; this is a new feeling -- a feeling that fills me with joy and hope.
I don’t want him to stop kissing me. I want to feel like this forever.
Zak starts to peel away from me, away from our kiss, awkward and embarrassed. Did I kiss him wrong? Was it not as good for him as it was for me? I’m too nervous to open my eyes, but I can feel him looking at me, and I’m still sitting here like a fool, frozen in the kissing position with my eyes closed.
“Happy birthday, Jada.” Zak says to me.
Wait, what?
“How did you know it was my birthday?” I ask him.
“Haytham told me when we were walking to the truck.”
I had forgotten that today is my birthday. I smile at the memory of Haytham. I hope his family is okay.
“Thank you for the gift,” I say, shyly looking down at the blanket. Zak lifts my chin and quickly kisses me again. My eyes are still open, and I’m still in shock. Zak’s eyes are also open, and looking at me joyfully.
“Anytime,” he replies, once he finishes kissing me.
I lean away, smiling. You sneaky man. I gently jab him in the ribs.
“Catch me if you can,” I playfully taunt him, as I suddenly jump up and run away.
Zak begins to laugh and races after me. It reminds me of the days playing chase with my family. I feel so free and happy. Zak is fast.
He catches me within a minute, tackling me down to the ground.
He is on top of me. The laughter stops, and he brushes my hair from my eyes. Taking him by surprise, I push him off me.
He lands next to me, and I leap on top of him. “Two can play this game,” I whisper. Then I lean down and kiss him. This time he’s the one in shock with wide eyes, and I am smiling back at him. Leaning up from our kiss, he spreads out on the grass, a goofy grin across his face. Now he’s the one blushing.
“Did you bring any food in the bag?” I ask.
“Help me up, and I’ll show you,” he says.
I take his outstretched arm and pull him up just the right amount, then suddenly let go. He tumbles once again to the ground, laughing.
“Race you there!” I yell as I sprint away. Zak chases after me. I make it to the blanket and see the gun. Zak is just behind me and collapses next to me, smiling like a school boy. Looking over, I smile back at him and his expression changes.
“What’s wrong, Jada? Did I do something wrong? Did you not want me to kiss you?”
I lower my head.
“No, I wanted you to kiss me.” I slowly look up to see his reaction. His smile reappears.
“So what’s wrong?”
“Why did you ask me to bring a gun?”
“Because I would like you to teach me how to shoot it, if that’s okay with you.”
“Of course I can,” I reply. “What about Tilly? Won’t she be worried about you? And who’s watching her?”
“Tilly knows we’re here,” he says. “She’ll say 'Happy Birthday' to you later. She helped pack the bag, and Dani, on the roof, is our look-out. He is a member of 3F, so he’s watching her for me. I don’t trust anyone else.” Zak looks away as he says that last line, as if he’s trying to avoid the subject. I let it go…. I don’t want to spoil the moment.
Zak takes out the rest of the food, and finally a chocolate cake. Then he pulls out some candles.
“I had to look everywhere for these,” he says. “It’s as if, when the soldiers stole our lives, they also stole all the candles.” He laughs. This is the first time I’ve heard someone joke about the war. It is strangely comforting.
Zak places the candles in the cake and lights them. “Time to make a wish.”
I don’t have to think for a second. I know what my wish is. It is the same wish every other child here would make.
…To see our fathers again.
Chapter 36
Hell on Earth.
HAYTHAM
“What happened to you?” a boy in a hospital bed asks me.
“You should see the other guy!” I say, smiling. And I’m right… he should see the other guy, and the bloody mess I left behind!
*****
Our first night in our new home – Ha, new home! A tent with a blanket and dirt, that’s no home!
I cannot believe it. Waliyah has just fallen asleep. We’ve had a long day waiting for Mother to have her baby, and it still isn’t here! And then someone has the nerve to come into our tent.
“What the hell are you doing here?” I growl, trying not to wake Waliyah.
“Give me your camera!” the boy yells. He’s a few years older than me, and taller, but I know I’m stronger than he is.
“Get the hell out of here!”
“Give it to me now!” he orders.
“What’s going on? I’m trying to sleep!” Waliyah sits up, shaking her head. She notices the stranger. “Who’s he?”
“Shut up, kid. Give me your camera!” he repeats.
“That’s rude! Get out of here! I’m sleeping!” Waliyah is funny at times. She’s only a little child, but she's strong. We get that from both of our parents; both Mother and Father are hotheads.
The boy is shocked at Waliyah’s outburst. As I get to my feet, the boy takes a step forward. He isn’t scared of me, but he should be.
“Take one more step in my tent and it’ll be your last!” I yell. Waliyah gets up and stands at my side.
The boy takes another step. His pupils begin to get larger. I can see he’s getting angry.
“Haytham, get him!” Waliyah yells at me. I look down at my little sister and smirk at her. Such a brave little girl.
Ouch! I get a punch in the eye. Damn, he got me! I take a step back. Waliyah moves to the corner of the tent.
Like a raging bull, I run at him, aiming for his stomach and grabbing his waist to run him out of our tent. I slam him to the ground and leap on top of him, releasing all my pent-up anger, swinging my fists, each connecting with his face time and time again, blood flying with every punch.
Anger consumes me and takes control. That’s for taking my father! Another punch. That’s for making me go through this hell! Another punch.
“Haytham. Haytham! Stop! Stop!” In the midst of angry darkness, I hear my sister’s terrified voice.
I look down at the mangled mess in front of me. I can’t see the boy’s face anymore. I raise my hands – they are shaking and covered in blood. I hear the sound of children sobbing. Others are watching nearby. No! They’ve already seen far too much violence. They didn’t need to see this too.
“Refugees should not steal from another refugee!” I yell. “This is a warning, do not enter my tent!” If we are going to live here, I will protect my family at all costs.
The boy is still awake. I reach down and help him up. He lowers his head and wobbles as he stands, then slowly walks off.<
br />
Waliyah smiles at me as she wipes her tears away. She looks at me differently now… like she’s proud and scared at the same time.
******
“How long have you been here?” I ask the boy.
“They transferred me here a few days ago after they bombed the hospital. I’m Ali.”
Ali looks older than I am, and he's very good-looking. Seems really nice, too. He was probably one of the popular kids at school. I bet everyone liked him, and he had the pick of any girl. Lucky sod!
“Hi, I’m Haytham. Were you one of the freedom fighters?” He looks the right age to be fighting for the rebels. But for some reason he doesn’t look like a fighter, even with his wounds.
“No, I was attacked at school. Bloody soldiers came in and killed everyone. One of them shot me in the back. They thought I was dead, and so did I. And then the UN rescued me.”
Chapter 37
Training Day.
JADA
Zak is a natural with the gun. He just needs practice.
Past the fields, there is a forest and a small, stone building. We can tell it’s been abandoned for years, long before the war. Ivy is growing on the inside and outside of the building. There is a small well, which still works. It has crystal-clean drinking water. I’m glad, because by the time we’re finished, we are very thirsty. Every morning, the air raids begin. Today we're using them as cover for firing our guns.
I try to remember everything my father taught me about holding the gun – how to stand, breathe, etcetera. It’s nice to pass these skills on to Zak. I think my father will like him more than he would Mansur.
“We have to go now, before they have the chance to realize we’ve gone,” Zak informs me.
“But we haven’t been gone long. I want to stay here with you.” It is my birthday, after all; I should get to do whatever I want.
“I want to stay as well.” He places his arm around me. “We’re free to come here as we please.”
“But I don’t understand why we have to leave now. Why we cannot stay longer,” I argue.
“Jada, believe me when I say I want to stay with you, but we have to go. I don’t trust them.”
“What do you mean you don’t trust them?”
“Have you not noticed how we can never be together and they’re purposely keeping us apart?”
I frown. “Why would they do that?”
“Because we are stronger together; we may try to stand against them,” he says, shrugging his shoulders.
“Why would we stand against them?”
“I don’t know. I just have a feeling there is something not right about them. Do you not get the same feeling?”
“Well… I did notice that their hair is all cut the same,” I say. That’s all that I have. That, and the fact that they all have the same weird look on their faces, except the Keeper. But I keep this to myself. Zak will think I’m crazy.
“So all you noticed were the boys' haircuts?” Zak snaps.
Why is he so cross? I give him a scowl.
He looks away from me. “Sorry, Jada. I didn’t mean that. I just feel like I’m going crazy here.”
“Maybe you are going crazy,” I jokingly say back to him. “All I know is that they’re going to take us to our fathers, and that’s all I want in the world. And I know that’s all you want. Try to understand they are helping us, and we should be grateful.”
“Okay, let’s not talk about this anymore today. I don’t want to spoil your birthday, after all.” Zak plasters a fake smile on his face. “We’ll meet up again tomorrow morning, and you can teach me some more. I hope I’m just going crazy… like you said.”
“Sounds like a good idea.” I walk over to him and place my hand in his. His face lights up.
“We best run,” he says. We quickly gather our things and begin sprinting back to the church.
Once we get to the top of the hill, Zak fills me in on the plan. “You go back through the kitchen and pass Tilly the bag. She has a hiding spot. Keep your gun hidden. I’ll go around the church, pretending to check things out. Then I’ll go back inside for a nap.”
“Okay. Got it.”
“Same time tomorrow?” Zak asks. I nod. He leans in for one more kiss, the last of the day, and runs off before I can speak.
I am practically bursting with joy. I begin to skip back to the kitchen.
Chapter 38
New Life.
HAYTHAM
“Waliyah, slow down! Shout at me when you get there, so I know you’re okay!”
Waliyah sprints forward into the hospital; she’s been dying to see Mother and the new baby.
Our tent is so far away from everything – it’s a bloody nightmare! We have to go so far to get water, to pee, it’s ridiculous. Plus, there’s not much food. I’m going to be skin and bones if I don’t make money fast. Well, at least I’ll lose my "puppy fat," as Mother calls it. I know she is only joking, but really, who wants to be called fat?
Waliyah ran all the way here. I tried to run too, but got out of breath quickly. “Come on, Haytham,” she kept shouting to me. As soon as I’d get to her, she’d run off again! She is really doing me in this morning; I get that she’s excited, but really, where does she get all her energy?
“I’m here!” Waliyah shouts. I can just hear her over the other noises in the hospital. Thank God, I can catch my breath now!
“Okay,” I yell back to her, mainly so Mother knows I’m here and keeping a good eye on Waliyah.
“Morning, Haytham. Is your sister winding you up again?” Ali is sitting up in bed. He looks better today… much better.
“She’s a bloody nightmare! She was so excited to get here this morning, she had me up all night, wiggling and kicking me in her sleep. I’m worn out.”
Ali gives out a little laugh. “Did your mother have the baby?”
“Yeah, last night. Another little girl. That’s all I need… I’m outnumbered!” I’m excited and happy, of course, but too embarrassed to show it. Ali is one of the cool teenagers, so I have to act that way too if we’re going to continue to be friends.
“Looks like I’m going to have to make money fast! Four mouths to feed, and the food here sucks!” I say. That reminds me, I need to check with Suranga. She said she should have an answer today on whether I can use the printer.
“Do you want to see a picture?” I ask Ali.
“Sure,” he says, as he moves forward in the bed.
“You’re looking better now. When are you getting out?” I ask.
“Thanks… they’re kicking me out tomorrow. I get to live in a communal tent.”
“I'm not promising anything, but I could ask Mother if you can stay with us. That is, if you don’t mind putting up with a newborn?”
Ali looks pleased with the offer… almost as if he’s been hoping I’d ask. “Do you think she’ll mind?”
“I don’t think so… she’s really nice.” She is… usually. I just hope she doesn’t mind, with the new baby. But I think I’ll be able to sell it to her -- I’ll say he can help me with my business so we can get more money to feed the baby. Yes, that’s it!
“You want to help with my camera business?” ‘Cause I cannot feed Ali in addition to my whole family. But it surely would be nice to have another man in the house.
“Yeah! I’m good at talking to people; I can help get customers,” Ali says. He does look like everyone would talk to him. He has a friendly face. “Let’s have a look at your photo of the new baby.”
“This is Jada,” I say, as I show him an image on the camera. “Mother named her after a girl that helped get her to the hospital. If it was a boy, he was going to be called Zak -- a boy who also helped. To be honest, Zak is the reason we’re still alive. But I helped, too…” I can’t have Ali thinking I’m soft, and it’s not a lie.
I miss Jada; I thought they’d be here by now. I wonder what’s taking them so long.
I bet she’s falling in love with Zak. There's no chance for me when he�
�s around!
“Zak? My brother is named Zak,” Ali says.
My eyebrows drop down together as I take a deeper look at Ali… he looks just like an older version of Zak!
What the hell?!
Chapter 39
Many Happy Returns.
JADA
Tilly is smiling, and giddy with excitement, as I enter the kitchen. “Happy birthday!” she yells, as she runs over to give me a hug.
I’m still on a high from my morning date. Was that my first date, on my birthday? I lift Tilly up to hug her back. “Did you like the food? Was it romantic? Did he kiss you?” She laughs.
I’m being interrogated by a child, what is going on? I can feel my cheeks turn pink, aware that everyone in the kitchen is watching me, waiting for an answer.
I just nod with a silly grin on my red face.
“That’s disgusting. You kissed a boy! You kissed my brother!” Tilly yells out. She’s having fun. My cheeks feel as if they are going to explode.
“Tilly, stop teasing Jada. It’s her birthday, after all!” one of the older girls says.
She’s around my age, a quiet girl who doesn’t speak much, but sometimes I can hear her talking to herself, as if she’s having an argument.
She stops when she realizes people are watching her. I spotted her once and told her not to be embarrassed, we all talk to ourselves, but we both knew this was different. The poor girl is going crazy.
There are a few children here who are crazy... the war has affected them mentally. You can see how they walk around, as if they’re in a daydream, quietly whispering to themselves and avoiding contact with anyone else. I often wonder what they’ve been through, what they’ve witnessed, to turn them this way. I try not to think about it. The horrible thoughts that run through my head disgust me.
At night, it’s harder to tell which children are crazy, because we all seem to have nightmares. There are children who scream out at night for their mothers or fathers. Other children scream out in what sounds like a made-up language, while others just cry.
