“You can’t be serious! Now you’re the one putting on the brakes?”
“He loves kids, Chandler. You’ve seen how he is with the twins. He’s made the comment before he can’t wait to have kids of his own, and he always wanted a big family.”
“Olivia and Patrick seem to think you and I are different.”
“But Dr. Renault and Dr. Lane don’t. I don’t know if I can do that to him. You of all people should know how I feel. I know… I overheard you talking to Banton. You’re afraid you won’t be able to get pregnant again, and you want to give him more kids. That’s a heartbreaking feeling, to know you can’t,” she said as tears threatened. It was so unlike Constance, and very sobering.
“Constance, you and Ty love each other. He is crazy in love with you. You can adopt,” I began.
“It’s not the same thing; you know that. I think it will be more important to Ty down the road than he realizes. It would kill me to know he wants something from me that I’m not equipped to give him. It would make me feel less…” she struggled for the right word.
“Normal. Like a young bride…a young woman. I know,” I sighed and placed my hand over hers.
“Hey, there you are.”
We both turned to find Ty standing in the side doorway to the kitchen, having come down the back staircase.
“Hey. We were just having some milk,” Constance answered him as she wiped her eyes.
“Come back to bed. I can’t sleep without you,” Ty urged as he crossed the kitchen to her.
“I’m finished. I think I can sleep now. Goodnight, Constance…Ty.” I rushed out of the kitchen, giving them some privacy.
“I heard part of what you said, baby. You are all I want…you are everything I want…” Ty began as I hurried back up the staircase. I didn’t want to eavesdrop on their intimate moment. I sighed, understanding Constance so well, feeling exactly as she felt. Those feelings were still raw as I thought again about Reece, and the fact that Alexandra could still have more children. As I crawled back into bed with Banton, my heart seemed heavier than when I’d left, and I knew I’d never rest tonight.
Chapter Twenty-Four
The morning of William’s funeral dawned gray and rainy. I rose early, wanting to fix breakfast for everyone and be on hand if Claudia needed anything. I knew I had to stay behind for the twins, but I felt a little guilty not going with the entire family to the service.
“My dear, what are you doing up so early?” Mrs. Elaine descended the back staircase in her robe.
“I couldn’t sleep, and after I got the babies back down at five, I decided to stay up and fix breakfast. Would you like some coffee?”
“That would be wonderful, thank you.” She smiled, taking her cup from me.
“How is Claudia this morning?”
“Still sleeping. I just checked on her, and Everett was asleep in the chair beside her bed. He hasn’t left her side in two days. He is so precious, Chandler. He is a God-send,” she said as she hugged me. I pulled a pan of blueberry muffins from the oven and flipped them out into a basket on the breakfast bar.
“Can I do anything to help you?” Mrs. Elaine asked.
“No, Ma’am. I almost have everything ready. I have a breakfast casserole in the oven, and I’ve already fixed some fruit in the fridge. Miss Astrid should be down any minute, and she will be upset with me if I don’t leave something for her to do,” I said as she smiled at me.
“Well, I think I’ll take a cup of this delicious coffee up to Matt, then.” She poured another cup, and then returned to the back staircase.
After I had everything ready and waiting on the stove, I sat down in a large chair facing the back windows, overlooking the patio. The scene replayed again and again in my head. Claudia being jerked from the back of her SUV, Brie crushed against the garage wall, Constance battling two of the Orcos. If I’d just stopped and helped Claudia…If I’d just stopped William. I shut my eyes, blocking out the images.
I sensed his presence before I felt his arms go around me from behind. Banton placed a kiss on my neck as I leaned my head over to give him better access.
“Hey,” he murmured against my neck. “I could smell the blueberry muffins and coffee from upstairs. I woke, and your side of the bed was cold. I don’t like waking up without you beside me.”
“The babies went back down at five, and I couldn’t sleep, so I decided to come down and make myself useful. I feel bad about not going with the family today.”
“Sweetheart, everyone understands. We have to keep the babies here. Is that what’s had you so preoccupied?”
He slowly made his way around the chair, and squatted in front of me, his coffee cup in his hands. Leaning over, he kissed my hand as I held it out to run it through his hair.
“You need a haircut,” I whispered.
“And you are changing the subject,” he retorted, sinking back in the floor, Indian-style.
“I’m just still upset about what I had to do to Laurilee and Dan,” I sighed as tears threatened again. “She never answered when I called her back last night. I feel like I should be packing to leave for Texas in the morning.”
Banton studied his coffee for a moment, and then looked up at me, seeming a bit irritated I’d brought it up again. The nerve ticked in his jaw, the muscles tense. He narrowed his eyes in an angry glare as he spoke.
“We’ve been through this, Chandler. I can’t risk it, end of subject. I’m sorry Laurilee is disappointed, but she’ll just have to understand.
“Disappointed? Banton, I know this isn’t as big a deal to you guys as it us to us girls, but disappointed? That doesn’t even begin to cover what she’s feeling right now. She’s devastated. She’s inconsolable…distraught…her wedding day ruined! That’s what she’s feeling! It’s horrible for me to stand her up, when she was here for mine. She was here for my first Christmas without my mother. She was here after the babies came! She was here for me!” I was shouting now, my emotions getting the best of me. I was angry at myself, not Banton. But his eyes indicated he thought otherwise. They burned with anger as he considered what I’d just said.
When he finally spoke, his voice was truncated, barely controlling his anger. I’d never heard him talk to me like that, even after the attack.
“Chandler, I can’t deal with this right now. We’ve got a funeral to get ready for, and I can hear the babies. I’m going up to see about them,” he said angrily, rising and heading for the back staircase. After he was out of earshot, I let go and sobbed into my hands. I felt thoroughly rebuked, like a petulant child. Of course he had other things to deal with, his grieving sister for one. I shook my head, realizing my outburst was childish and selfish.
“Bebe, are you all right?” Everett had entered the kitchen without my hearing him. I rose and hurriedly wiped my eyes. Miss Astrid stood just inside the doorway behind him.
“Chandler, what can I do to help with breakfast? That’s what I’m here for,” she scolded as I shook my head.
“If you could just get some bottles ready for the babies. They may be hungry already. Banton just went to see about them,” I replied softly as she nodded. I rose and crossed the kitchen meeting Everett half-way. He took me in his arms.
“I overheard…it’s that darn Aldon hearing, you know,” he tugged at an ear as I laughed through my tears. “Banton’s not mad at you, Bebe, he’s mad because he had to make a decision that is upsetting you. Maybe you two can have sweet Laurilee and Dan come to Louisiana after everything calms down, to do their vows here…as a sort of a second ceremony? I can throw a really impressive party, you know,” Everett said with flair, his hand in the air.
I smiled. Everett could always make me smile. “All right, Ev. That does sound good. I’m going to go up and dress the babies for the day and make myself presentable,” I murmured as he patted me on the shoulder. I took the stairs two at a time and pushed our bedroom door open. The babies were playing with each other, jabbering away in their baby jargon only the two o
f them understood. The bathroom door was closed, and I could hear the shower running. I used the opportunity to go ahead and dress the twins, and then I dressed in some soft jeans and a sweater. I’d just picked both babies up when Banton opened the bathroom door, a towel wrapped around his waist. I took a deep breath and shook my head. Would my heart always quicken at the sight of his naked torso?
As I watched him move around the bedroom, my heart sank. He never glanced my way as he took his clothes out of the closet and began to dress. I left the room silently, descending the stairs and then settling down on the sofa in front of the fireplace. This was the first time I could truly feel a rift between us. I needed to apologize for my outburst this morning.
I placed the twins in the floor on the rug, and then pulled a bag of their toys around from the side of the sofa. I took out a couple of their favorites and placed them in the floor. As the family began to drift downstairs, the doorbell rang. Everyone else was either still upstairs dressing, or they were eating in the breakfast room. Thinking it was probably more flowers or food, I opened the front door.
Alexandra’s stare greeted me.
My shock at seeing her got the best of me. “What are you doing here?” I blurted out in anger. How dare she come to Banton’s family, at a time like this!
“Well…you certainly changed your little act from the other day. I thought you were the kind, caring little wife. I guess that’s only for Banton’s benefit. I should have known. Please, get Banton for me. I need to see him,” she demanded as she smiled coyly at me. I glanced behind her, and Reece peered out the window of her car, strapped in a car seat.
“Banton’s getting ready upstairs. How did you find us?” I asked, outraged.
“They told me at the base where I could find you. Are you going to get Banton for me, or do I have to force my way in? One mousy little wife isn’t going to stop me from seeing Banton.”
“Alexandra! What the hell,” Banton’s voice boomed from the staircase behind me. I turned, and found Everett, Julia and Constance staring from the hallway. I blushed, embarrassed our family witnessed any of this.
“I don’t know how you got this address, Alex, but now is not the time for this,” Banton’s voice carried to the living room where I’d escaped. I pulled the babies up on the couch with me, aware Constance followed me.
“Banton, I had to come. I know some of what has been going on, and I know your family is in danger. Reece is in danger too, if that is the case,” she pleaded. “I thought maybe you might need to see us, and for us to make some plans…”
Banton pulled the door closed as he stood outside talking to Alex. I thought I’d worked this entire thing about Reece out in my own head, but the empty hole opened in my chest again when I thought about him having been with her, about Reece possibly being his son. As Constance corralled the babies, I stood, my arms wrapped around my waist. I crossed over to the windows and looked out. Alex stood facing Banton, sobbing, her shoulders shaking. Banton reached out, and held his hand out to her as he spoke. She launched herself at him, and he awkwardly held her for a moment. As I watched them, I shuddered. I recognized the ache I was feeling. It was the same ache I’d felt when I’d seen Cody’s naked body wrapped around the rodeo ‘ho” in his pickup. It was the same hurt I’d felt the night I thought Banton was in a relationship with someone else, the night Beau was bitten by snakes. It was that sorry for yourself feeling you get when you are jealous, and you feel like you’ve been wronged. The same feeling you get when doubt creeps in, making you think maybe you aren’t good enough for him, that there might be someone else. I shook my head and watched as rain began to fall softly outside, slowly wetting their heads as they continued to embrace. I hated myself for feeling this way.
“Holy shit, Chandler,” Constance exclaimed, peering at them over my shoulder. “What is going on?”
I looked back at her and shook my head as my eyes filled with tears. I refused to break down in front of the family, right before Will’s funeral. I looked over at Julia and Everett, who still hovered close by as they played with the babies in the floor. Laughter bubbled up…I was thinking it resembled a page of a story book called, “White trash scenes from hell.”
“Chandler?” Everett called softly, knowing my laughter was one step away from a breakdown.
I looked back at Constance, and then back at Everett. I shook my head, and then held my hand up as I passed him. He wisely remained silent. I made my way into the kitchen, and busied myself with a cup of coffee, and preparing bottles for the babies’ next meal.
“Chandler, dear…who was that at the front door just now?” Mrs. Elaine asked.
“Just someone to see Banton,” I murmured, placing the babies bottles back into the refrigerator. Taking a deep breath, I decided my hysteria had passed. In view of the awkwardness in the living room, I decided to retreat upstairs until the family left for the service.
I stopped in the hallway as I heard Everett’s voice.
“I don’t think I would right now, Banton-babe. You don’t have enough time; we need to leave for the church in five minutes. Let her be. You can talk to her after the service. I think she might need a little space, and a good ‘ole-fashioned southern belle crazy-bitch parade might be just around the corner waiting on you if you say the wrong thing now,” he cautioned.
“It would have helped matters if Chandler hadn’t watched you holding the ‘ho’ in your arms out on the front porch!” Constance snapped as Banton moaned. “What was that about, anyway? What the hell, Banton?”
“It’s not what you think…what she thought…oh, hell!” Banton’s voice sounded exasperated.
I turned, hurrying back around the kitchen and up the back staircase. I was on the verge of tears, and I didn’t want a scene before they all left. Once in our room, I rummaged through our bags, and found the babies blankies, and then took a blanket off the bed so I could make them a pallet in the floor in front of the fireplace. I decided I would camp out there with them, and visit with Miss Astrid while we waited for the family to come home. I waited a few moments, and then descended the staircase when I knew they were all about to leave for the church. When I reached the bottom of the staircase, I could see Banton sitting on the sofa in front of the fireplace, with the twins cuddled against his chest.
“Banton, we’re ready to leave.” Mrs. Elaine called out from the foyer.
“Okay, Momma, I’ll be right there,” he answered, placing a kiss on each of the twins' foreheads. I rounded the large stone pillar that separated the living room from the foyer, and reached to take the babies from him. He searched my eyes as I stepped back for him to pass. He reached over and picked up his jacket, and as he straightened, opened his mouth to say something, and then closed it again. Tears pooled in my eyes as I realized he must still be mad from our quarrel earlier, and he didn’t want to get into anything before he left. I smiled up at him and nodded. His gaze softened, and he reached out and cupped my cheek in his hand. I shut my eyes and kept them shut until I heard the family leave.
I sat down on the couch and released the tears. I cried about not being at Laurilee’s wedding. I cried for Will and Claudia, and about not going to Will’s service. I cried about my jealousy toward Alexandra and poor Reece. I cried because I’d burned the blueberry muffins a bit when I’d cooked breakfast this morning.
“Okay, Miss Chandler…enough. Let me have those babies, and we’re going to go and have a little apple juice and a stroll out on the back patio. You lay down here on this couch and rest. Have a good little cry and work it all out. I’ll put the babies down in the nursery for their nap after a bit,” Miss Astrid said, picking the babies up out of my lap. Elly squealed at her and then giggled as she scooped them up, and then swooped down the hallway with them. I smiled at that. Elly seemed to love Miss Astrid.
I snuggled down into the soft cushions and stared into the fire. I was exhausted, having gotten up before five with the babies. I thought if I just closed my eyes for a few minutes…<
br />
* * *
I woke and sat up in semi-darkness. The fireplace was out, and the air in the room seemed a bit chilly. My eyes watered as I rubbed them. It was still raining outside, the water running down the window panes in rivulets. Shuddering as it thundered, my heart rate quickened as chills ran up my arms, the hairs standing up like antennae. I felt the need to check on the twins. My footsteps sounded hollow as I crossed the large living room, and with the family gone the house seemed cavernous. I took the steps two at a time, and then ran down the hallway to the nursery. Not wanting to startle the babies and wake them from their nap, I slowed my steps as I neared their door, and then pushed the door open slowly. My heart beat pulsed in my ears as I neared Matty’s crib. I found it empty. I drew in a ragged breath as I whirled to check Elly’s…again, empty.
“Miss Astrid, where are you?” I called frantically, already in an alarmed state. Surely she’d moved them or had them downstairs. I ran back down the hallway, and met Miss Astrid’s stare at the top of the staircase. I stilled. There was no question in her eyes, no expression of wonder as to why I was frantically calling her. A sick feeling crept through me.
“Miss Astrid, where are the twins?”
“They’ve been taken somewhere secure,” she said as her eyes began to glow. Holy shit! I’d never seen her eyes glow, and the irises around her pupils seemed to radiate with three or four shades of green.
“What do you mean? Has Banton moved them,” I began.
“No. There is no time for talk. Shut up and listen,” she hissed. I felt the color drain from my face. A thousand different scenarios ran through my mind, none of them pleasant.
“You are going to write a note for me, which we will leave for your family downstairs. Then I am to deliver you to Lucien at a pre-determined place in exactly forty-five minutes, or both the babies will die. Do you understand?
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