by A R DeClerck
When
I
Saw
You
By AR DeClerck
Published by AR DeClerck
Moline, IL 61265 © 2017
Text Copyright © 2017 AR DeClerck
All Rights Reserved
This book is a work of fiction. Names, characters, businesses, organizations, places, events, and incidents either are the product of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, events, or locales is entirely coincidental.
This book is sold subject to the condition that it shall not, by way of trade or otherwise, be lent, re-sold, duplicated, hired out, or otherwise circulated without the publisher’s prior written consent in any form of binding or cover other than that in which it is published and without similar condition including this condition being imposed on the subsequent purchaser.
Table of Contents
Title Page
Copyright Page
When I Saw You (A Wild Moon Story)
THE END | The trying is what matters.
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HE SLEPT BEST WHEN it rained. Sage lay with his eyes closed and listened to the patter of the raindrops on the window by his, bed. It was early, the sun had not decided to make an appearance, yet. His hand crept languorously toward the other side of the California king mattress.
“G?” Sage sat up, the sheet falling to his waist. He cursed and shivered at the cold in the room. He’d forgotten to turn up the heat, again. “Where’d you go?”
There was no tell-tale snicker from the darkened bathroom. No shuffle of Gio’s feet as he wandered down the hall from the kitchen. Sage’s heart beat harder in his chest as he tossed back the blankets and put his bare feet on the cold floor. “G?” he called again.
It was unlike Gio to be up so early. Usually he was abed until the sun was fully risen, awakened only by the sweet smell of coffee and Sage’s kisses. Dread snaked its way up Sage’s spine, but he pushed it away with confidence. Gio was just in the kitchen, or up reading one of his home decorating magazines in the alcove in the study.
He snagged his robe and pulled it on, tying the belt tight. The house was eerily silent except for the sound of the rain on the roof. Sage flipped on the hall light and went to the landing at the top of the stairs. “Gio?”
More silence. He took the stairs two at a time, only to realize that the downstairs was as empty as the top floor. Sage flew back toward their bedroom, his mind racing. He and Gio had gone to bed with their same nightly rituals, falling asleep together around midnight. As he turned on the light Sage felt his stomach drop. The closet door was open. His side was normal, all his clothes pressed and neatly hung. Gio’s side, usually filled with his messy piles of hastily folded laundry, was now bare.
“No, no, no,” Sage muttered, looking for his cell. “Don’t do this to me now, G.” He found the cell on his nightstand, and he pressed the button to auto-call Gio’s. After six rings and Gio’s cheery voicemail message he ended the call and dialed another familiar number.
“Sage?” Bas’ voice was heavy with sleep when he picked up the phone. “Something wrong?”
“Let me talk to Jessy,” Sage said shortly. He couldn’t decide if he was angry or terrified. Possibly both. He heard mumbling as Bas woke his wife and passed her the phone.
“Sage? What is it?”
“Gio is gone.”
“Gone?” Her voice went sharp, and he pictured all the sleep draining from her in an instant. “What do you mean, ‘gone’?”
“I mean, I fucking woke up and he’s cleaned out the closet and disappeared.”
There was silence on the other end of the line.
“Are you going to say something?”
“Maybe it’s for the best,” she said at last.
Sage could hear Bas in the background, but all he could concentrate on was the idea that Gio had left him. “For the best? What the hell does that mean?”
“You know he craves commitment, Sage.” Jessy’s voice faded as she hushed her husband. “He probably decided that you weren’t going to give him what he needs.”
“We live together. How much more committed do I need to be?” Sage wondered. It was true he was hard to live with, but he thought Gio was coming to understand his ways.
“Gio is sensitive. He knows when he has all of someone’s heart, and when they hold something back.”
“We discussed this,” Sage muttered. “He knows why I feel the way I do about relationships.”
“He might understand, but he knows what he needs. If I know Gio, this is tearing him up inside, but he had no other choice.”
“No other choice, my ass. He should have talked to me instead of sneaking away in the middle of the night.”
“And what good would it do?” Jessy asked.
Sage loved Jessy. Loved all his friends. But none of them understood the future the way he did. None of them Saw the shit he Saw.
“You’ve discussed it before. He told me so. And every time you manage to sweet talk him into staying. If you’re never going to change, he knew he couldn’t stay and make leaving any harder than it already was.”
Sage knew she was right. Gio had tried to talk to him about a deeper commitment, and every time, he’d changed the subject or argued Gio into submission. “Where is he?”
“Do you really think he would tell me?” Jessy sighed. Sage almost felt bad for her, because she was stuck in the middle of her best friends’ love affair. “He wouldn’t tell me because he knew you’d call me first.”
“Where would he go?” Sage paced, his mind racing. He would find Gio and convince him to come home.
“Do you think you should try to find him?”
“Of course I should! Are you saying we shouldn’t be together?” The idea made Sage’s gut hurt, deep down inside. He had grown used to Gio’s presence in every aspect of his life. Even now, it felt like there was a giant black hole existing just outside his peripheral vision.
“I’m saying that unless you change, you two will never last. He might come back, tonight. Or in two weeks. But sometime down the road, he’s going to be unhappy and if you lose him again, you might never get him back.”
“What am I supposed to do?” Sage hated feeling helpless. When it came to Gio he was often off balance, but the man had created a place for himself inside Sage, and it couldn’t be filled by anyone else. “You know I Saw us together. That means he will come back.”
“He might.” Jessy made a cooing noise, and Sage knew she was holding her daughter as she spoke on the phone. “But he won’t be happy, and he won’t stay. You two can play this game forever, Sage, but it’s not fair to either of you.”
“Then tell me what I should do.”
“Go to the Mo-I. Take some time to find yourself, and figure out what you really want. You know what Gio needs, and you have to decide if you can give it to him.”
“Your pack will take me in?” Since discovering her werewolf heritage Jessy had spent a lot of time visiting her pack and putting her bad memories to rest under the arctic sun.
“Of course. Acacius would be happy to have you.” Sage heard her smile in her voice. “It’s a few more months until the Wild Moon, so you’ll be safe from the big, bad wolf.”
“What if I decide that I can do what Gio wants? What if he’s moved on by the time I figure it out?”
“My advice?”
“Yes,” he urged.
“Get yourself together quickly, but don’t worry too much about Gio. He loves too hard to let go that easily.”
Sage let out a long, slow breath. “Will you and the others be okay without me?”
“Of course.” She made a soft gurgling noise to the infant in her arms. “We want you and Gio to be happy, whatever it takes.”
Sage sat on the edge of the bed and hung his head. His stomach churned, and all he could think about was Gio, wherever he was, feeling the same way. It killed him that he’d hurt the man. “I’ll visit York tomorrow, and have him Move me.”
“Call me when you’ve found Gio, again,” Jessy said softly. “I know you can do it.”
“Thanks. I’ll do my best.”
There was a moment’s pause before Bas came back on the line. “You good?”
“Yeah.” Sage rubbed a hand over his head. He would be sorry he kept it shaved when the arctic wind raced across his bare skull.
“You’ll call?” Bas urged. His Healer nature made him worry about his friends more than he should. “Don’t get lost up there.”
“Yeah, I’ll call. Jessy’s right. I need to decide one way or another if I can do this. It’s not fair to G to keep walking the line.”
“Remember that you need be happy, too,” Bas advised.
“G makes me happy.”
“Then fight like hell.”
Sage said his goodbyes and hung up the phone. He needed this. The Mo-I Rana was a desolate tundra surrounded by glaciers and hundreds of miles of arctic plain. Only the native Sami and Jessy’s pack of Skifta roamed the bleak countryside. Just the kind of peace and quiet that might do his mind good. He had to get his head together and figure out if he was capable of offering Gio the kind of future he deserved. And if he wasn’t...he would have to find the courage to walk away.
“YOU’RE SURE ABOUT THIS?”
Sage glared at the man who lounged indolently on the rouge-colored sofa. His eyes were sharp and intense, belying the casual drape of his body on the couch.
“Of course I’m sure. Can you do it?”
“I can.” York stood and straightened his impeccably tailored suit jacket with a flick of his fingers. The action was so much like his sister Arabella that Sage was taken aback for a moment. “Thanks to Bas, I’m feeling much better.”
“I’m ready now, then.” Sage picked up his duffel and slung it over his shoulder. He pulled his hat and gloves from his coat, slipping them on. “Drop me as close to the village as you can. Acacius is waiting for me.”
“Follow me.”
Sage walked behind the slim man toward a room in the back of the building that was specially warded to increase his Moving powers.
“Gio was much nicer when he asked me to Move him two nights ago,” York said with a casual flicker of his eyes in Sage’s direction. “Much more pleasant.”
Sage ground his teeth together. It was a subtle hint that York knew where Gio had gone, but Sage couldn’t take the bait. He wasn’t ready to face Gio, yet.
“There.” York pointed to a circle in the center of the room when they arrived.
Sage stood and watched the man gather his magic. Movers were rare and highly sought after for their abilities. As a Seer, he had many of his own clients, but most would have paid triple his going rate for York’s Gift. Nearly a third of the world’s population had Gifts, but only a half a percent of that number could Move people and objects through space in an instant.
“It’s best if you hold your breath.”
Sage drew in air, filling his lungs. He remembered the jolting roll of the world from the first time he’d experienced York’s power. He hoped he could hold his stomach a bit better this time around.
“Wait!”
Sage opened his eyes to see Jessy hurry into the room. She carried baby Karoline on her hip, her blonde hair wind whipped around her face. She pushed the baby unceremoniously into York’s arms and ignored his look of distaste.
“You weren’t leaving without saying goodbye, were you?” She rushed to Sage and threw her arms around him.
“I thought it might be best,” he admitted, hugging her back.
“Best?” She pulled away to look up into his face. “Oh, sweetie. We love you, I hope you know that.”
He did know that. “I just figure that Gio’s your friend and I’m your friend, so it might be awkward if you feel like you have to choose between us.”
She laughed. “Honey, we’ve been in the middle of your beautiful mess since the beginning. This is only a rough patch.”
“I hope you’re right.” He pressed a kiss to her cheek and nuzzled the baby’s head as York handed her back to her mother. “I’ll see you all in a few weeks. Hopefully, with the right answers.”
Jessy stared at him with her wide blue eyes, but inside he saw the presence of her wolf watching him as well. “Take care of yourself, Sage. The rest will come.”
He nodded and tried to smile as she walked away. Baby Karoline grinned toothlessly at him over her mother’s shoulder, and the little smile was comforting to him.
“Good luck, Seer,” York said, tipping his head.
Sage nodded back, and then he Moved halfway around the world.
THE COLD WAS BEARABLE. The wind was not. It sliced through him and left shreds dangling in the aftermath. Sage bit down on his lip to keep from cursing, and he dug into his duffel for his walking stick with a grimace. Somehow, he had ended up far from the Skifta village where Jessy’s family lived. His GPS was glitchy this far from civilization, but before it had completely bugged out, it had given him a general direction and a solemn “19.8 miles to destination”.
The twenty miles was not the issue. He could handle the distance. He was fit and spent time keeping himself in shape. The cold would do him in long before he tired out. He’d imagined the temperatures a balmy ten or fifteen degrees but had arrived to discover it was closer to twenty below zero when the wind gusted between the glacier peaks. Though his down coat kept his torso warm, his legs and feet were already numb. The drip of steadily melting snow down the back of his neck had him shivering and clenching his teeth to keep the chattering to a minimum. When the sun finally dipped below the horizon it would become impossibly colder, and his life would depend on where he decided to bed down for the night. He thanked Jessy in his head again for her gifts of a polar-weather tent and sleeping bag, designed to fit inside his duffel withstand the harsh arctic climate.
“If I freeze to death out here, G, I hope you realize I was doing this for you,” he muttered crossly. For as much as it was true, Sage knew he was also out here for his own sake. Jessy was right. For too long, he had lived his life in fear of the future. The future was so clear to him when it remained a mystery to others, but he’d let that fear hold him back from truly loving and committing to Gio. Even though Sage recognized his shortcomings, he was far from sure he could fix his emotional blunderings in time to get Gio back. Sage had been fucked up for nearly twenty years, since the day his Gift had kicked in. Untangling that kind of long-term mess might take longer than he and Gio had left.
“HE’S NOT HERE YET. Why is he not here yet?” Gio paced, rubbing his hand over his beard. A beard he knew Sage hated, and that’s precisely why he kept it.
“Perhaps he’s decided not to come.”
Gio glared at the blonde man lounging on a stack of furs near the fire. “That’s not funny, Acacius.”
“I’m simply making a statement.”
“We know he’s coming. He was scheduled at York’s to be Moved.”
“I thought you were angry with him.”
“I am angry.”
“And yet, you worry over him. Hoping he’ll come here and find you and convince you to go home.”
“You make me sound so manipulative.” Gio crossed his arms and glared harder. After a moment of tense silence, he had to laugh. “I suppose I am, a bit. We both know it was going to take a grand gesture to wake him up.”
The blonde man only nodded silently.
Gio hated silence. He picked up his pacing and ground his teeth in frustration. The people here were always so god-damned silent. They moved without a sound, rarely spoke above a whisper if they spoke at all. He
might as well have ended up in a monastery, for all the quiet introspection he’d managed to find in this god-forsaken place. More, he admitted to himself, than he’d truly wanted. “He should have been here by now.”
“Do you worry that he’s hurt?”
The thought brought on heart palpitations, and Gio swayed. Sweat beaded on his forehead. “He’s too hard-headed to die out here.”
“True.” Acacius eyed Gio and blinked owlishly. Could wolf-men look owlish, Gio wondered.
“If you have something to say, by all means, say it,” Gio urged.
“I simply wonder which of you will come to clarity first.”
Gio paused in his pacing and stared down at the Skifta Shaman. “I have my shit together, doll. So together you could wrap it in a bow and ship it to Antartica.”
“A relationship is made of two parts, young Giovanni. If these parts do not move in perfect synchronization, the timing of the thing will not work.”
Gio flipped his hair. What did the old man know? Well, a whole fucking lot, if he was honest. The Skifta was a man with wisdom pouring from his eyes and dripping from every word. Gio knew he was many things, but he hoped he wasn’t a fool. He took a seat across from the Shaman and sighed. “So tell me what you mean. Without metaphors and flowers, please.”
“I feel both of you have been holding back,” Acacius said simply. The fire flashed in his pale eyes as he leaned forward. “And you are not as open a book as you would have us believe.”
“Ha.” Gio rolled his eyes. Of course he didn’t go around telling everyone his business.
“What is it you wish Sage to learn on this journey you have set in motion?”
“He’s stuck on the idea that something is going to tear us apart.”
“Fear is natural when entering into a new relationship.”
“He thinks he’ll See if before it happens. And then he’ll leave me before it does.”
“You do not agree with his intentions?”
“Hell, no.” Gio looked up to see the moon begin to rise through the window of the hut. “Fate doesn’t exist. We make our own destiny.”
