Mark leaned forward. “I would never have guessed it,” he said.
“Guessed what?” She was beginning to feel a little foolish now.
“That a woman who gives the impression of being a scatterbrain is really quite reflective. Beneath those glow-in-the-dark sweatshirts lies a very romantic heart.”
“I seem to get emotional about certain things,” she responded, studying the menu, eager to change the subject. “I really like hot-and-sour soup. Have you ever tried it?”
Their conversation over dinner remained light and amusing. Shelly noticed that Mark avoided any more discussion of a personal nature, as did she.
After they’d finished their dinner and Mark had paid the bill, they strolled leisurely back toward the theater. Mark offered to drive her home when they reached his parked car, but Shelly declined. Her apartment was only a couple of blocks north and she preferred to walk.
Walk and think. Their time together had given her plenty to think about.
“Thank you for dinner,” she said as he unlocked the car.
“You’re welcome,” he answered. “Well, good night for now,” he said, grinning. “I suspect I’ll be seeing you soon.”
She grinned back. “Probably within a day or two. Maybe we should synchronize our schedules,” she teased.
“That wouldn’t bother you, would it? If we ran into each other, I mean.”
“Oh, no. What about you?” She hated the way her voice rose expectantly with the question. She certainly wasn’t bothered by the prospect of seeing him again. In fact, she was downright eager to see what tricks fate would play on them next.
Mark’s eyes found hers then, and he slowly pocketed his car keys. His look was so potent, so full of emotion, that Shelly took a step in retreat. “I had a wonderful afternoon, a wonderful evening. Thanks again,” she said nervously.
Mark didn’t say a word as he continued to gaze at her.
“The play was great, wasn’t it? And dinner…fabulous.” Shelly’s throat seemed to close as Mark stepped onto the curb and walked toward her.
The whole world came to an abrupt halt when she realized he intended to kiss her. Not again, her mind shouted. Please hurry, her heart sang.
Her heart tripped wildly as Mark lowered his head, his mouth seeking hers. Despite the fierce battle inside her, Shelly had to admit how much she wanted this kiss. If for no other reason, she told herself, than to prove that the first time had been a fluke.
Only it happened again. But this kiss was a hundred times more compelling than the first one they’d shared. A hundred times more exciting.
Shelly wanted to cry out at the unfairness of it all. If a man’s kiss was going to affect her like this, why did it have to be Mark Brady’s?
He broke away from her reluctantly, his warm breath fanning her cheek. His eyes were filled with questions, filled with surprise. Shelly wasn’t sure what her own eyes were saying to him. She didn’t even want to know.
“Take care,” he whispered as he turned away.
Shelly stayed home from work on Monday. She wasn’t sick, just puzzled and confused. Nothing about her relationship with Mark made sense. He was everything she didn’t want in a man—and everything she did.
Shelly didn’t realize how despondent she was until she found herself standing barefoot in front of her closet, carrying on a conversation with Aunt Milly’s wedding dress.
“I’ll have you know I had a perfectly good life until you got here,” she muttered. “Now my whole world’s been turned upside down.” She slammed the door shut, then jerked it open. “No wonder Mrs. Livingston’s cat wouldn’t go near you. You’re dangerous.”
Nine
“The show was great,” Shelly told Jill over coffee Wednesday afternoon. She’d stopped off at PayRite, hoping Jill could get away for lunch. “Even Mark—”
“Mark?” Jill’s coffee cup hit the saucer with a clang. “He went to see Jersey Boys?”
Shelly nodded sheepishly. “I guess I forgot to mention I ran into him, didn’t I? Actually he called me first and since we both had plans to attend the same performance, we decided to go together.”
“Is there anything else you haven’t told me?” Jill’s eyes narrowed astutely.
Shelly tried to hide her uneasiness behind a relaxed shrug, but how well she succeeded in fooling Jill remained to be seen. “We had dinner afterward…as friends. It didn’t mean anything. I did tell you he’s engaged, didn’t I?”
“Unofficially engaged.” Jill was studying her closely and Shelly felt uneasy under her scrutiny.
“We’ve been friends for a long time,” Jill reminded her. “I know you, and I know there’s something troubling you.”
Shelly nodded. There was no point in hiding the truth from Jill. Her need to confide in a sympathetic, understanding person was the very reason for her impromptu visit to Jill’s workplace. Lunch had been a convenient excuse.
“You won’t believe this,” Shelly said, cradling the coffee cup in both hands and keeping her gaze lowered. “I can hardly believe it myself.”
“You’re falling in love with Mark.”
Shelly’s eyes shot upward. “It’s that obvious?”
“No,” Jill said softly. “But you look like you’re about to break into tears.”
“If I wasn’t so darn irritated I would. Good grief, think about it. Can you imagine two people less suited to each other? Mark is so…so responsible…”
“So are you.”
“Not in the same way,” Shelly argued. “He’s so sincere and—”
“Shelly, so are you.”
“Perhaps, but I’m such a scatterbrain.” She grimaced as she remembered that was the very word Mark had used. “I’m disorganized and always late and I like to do things my own way. You know that better than most.”
“I prefer to think of you as creative.”
Shelly sent Jill a smile of appreciation. “That’s the reason you’re my best friend. I don’t mind telling you, Jill, I’m worried. Mark Brady may be the Rock of Gibraltar, but I doubt he’s got an original thought in his head. Everything’s done by the book or according to a schedule.”
“You need someone like Mark in your life,” Jill returned. “Don’t look so shocked. It’s true. The two of you balance each other. He needs you because you’re fun and crazy and imaginative, and you need him because he knows his multiplication tables by heart and will remind you when it’s time for meals.”
“The problem is, Mark’s the type of man who’d expect a woman to cook those meals.”
Jill chuckled.
“If the fates are determined to match me up with a man,” Shelly moaned, “couldn’t it be with someone other than an accountant?”
“Apparently not.”
“What really angers me is that I allowed it to happen. The first time he kissed me—”
“He kissed you?” Jill feigned a look of horror.
Shelly ignored it. “Yes. Twice. It’s only natural—our being curious about each other, don’t you think?”
“I suppose,” Jill said quickly, no longer teasing. “So tell me what happened.”
“Fireworks bigger than the Fourth of July. I’ve never experienced the feelings I do with Mark, and all because of a kiss.” She paused. “Well, two kisses.”
“And does Mark feel the same thing?”
“I—I can’t speak for him, but I assume it’s equally disturbing for him. He certainly looked as if he’d been taken by surprise.”
“How do you get along with him otherwise?”
“Fine, I guess.” Shelly took a sip of her coffee. “I’m sure I amuse him. But someone like Mark isn’t looking for a woman to entertain him, any more than I’m looking for a man to handle my finances.”
“His opinion of you has mellowed, hasn’t it?” Jill asked, then answered her own question. “There was a time when he thought you were more than a little bizarre, remember?”
Shelly did, all too well. “At first I thought he was to
tally unexciting, but I’ve altered my opinion of him, too.”
“So what’s the problem?”
“I don’t want to fall in love,” Shelly said pointedly. “I’ve got bigger plans for my life than to tie myself down to a committed relationship right now.”
“Then don’t. It shouldn’t be that difficult. Decide what you want and disregard everything else. There’s no law that says you have to fall in love this minute. For that matter, no one can regulate when and who you marry, either. Not even your aunt Milly.”
Jill was saying everything Shelly wanted to hear. Everything she needed to hear. But it didn’t make any difference; her heart was already involved. If she could forget she’d ever met Mark, she would. But it was too late. She was in love with him. With Mark, who was in love with someone else. Mark, who saw love and marriage as goals to be achieved within a certain time frame. He’d probably never done anything impulsive in his life.
A relationship between them would never last. If he wasn’t smart enough to figure that out, she was. Something had to be done and soon, and Shelly knew it would be up to her to do it.
Shelly didn’t have long to wait before she saw Mark again. They met at the main branch of the Seattle Public Library on Wednesday evening. She was returning ten overdue books. Six months overdue. The library had sent her three warnings, each progressively less friendly.
She was half-afraid the buzzer inside the library entrance would go off the moment she walked through the hallowed doors, and armed officers would haul her away.
“I wondered when we’d find each other again,” Mark said, strolling up to her at the counter. She’d seen him almost immediately and tried to pretend she hadn’t.
Shelly acknowledged him with a quick nod and ordered her heart to be still. She managed a slight smile. “Hello again,” she said, drawing a checkbook out of her purse. At least she’d come prepared. The fine for the books was sure to be monstrous; in fact, it might be cheaper to buy them.
Mark set the two volumes he was borrowing on the counter. Shelly noted the titles—Tools for Time Management and The State of the Language, and groaned inwardly. To someone like her accountant friend, these books were probably easy reading. Her own tastes leaned more toward mystery and romance, with a little nonfiction thrown in.
“Have you got time for a cup of coffee?” Mark asked as she wrote out the check to pay her fine.
She was gladdened by the invitation, but knew she had to refuse it. Before he could say or do anything to change her mind, she shook her head. “Not tonight, thanks.”
His smile faded as though her refusal had startled him. “You’re busy?”
She nodded, smiling at the librarian as she handed over her check. The librarian smiled back. It had been a civilized exchange, Shelly thought, and her library card had’t been confiscated, despite her transgressions.
“You’ve got a date waiting for you?”
It took Shelly a second to understand that Mark was referring to her refusal to join him for coffee.
“Not exactly.” She turned away from the counter and headed toward the exit. To her surprise Mark followed her outside.
“Something’s wrong,” he said, standing at the top of the steps.
She stopped her descent and stood below him, looking up. Pretense had never suited Shelly; she was too innately honest to hide her feelings. “Mark, I think you’re a very nice man—”
“But you don’t want to marry me,” he concluded for her. “I’ve heard that line before, remember? Actually, half the mall heard it, too.”
“I’ve already apologized for that. It’s just that…all right, if you must know, I’m beginning to like you…really like you, and frankly that terrifies me.”
Her candid response seemed to unnerve him. He frowned and rubbed the side of his jaw. “I know what you mean. I’m beginning to like you, too.”
“See!” she cried, raising both hands. “If we don’t take care of this now, heaven only knows what could happen. It has the potential of ruining both our lives. We’re mature adults, aren’t we?” At the moment, though, she felt singularly lacking in maturity.
All her senses were clamoring, telling her to enjoy their brief time together, despite the consequences. It was what her heart wanted, but she couldn’t allow her life to be ruled by her heart. Not when it came to Mark.
“Liking each other doesn’t have to be a federal crime,” he said, advancing one step toward her.
“You’re right, of course, but I know myself too well. I could easily fall in love with you, Mark.” She didn’t dare admit she already had. “Before we knew it, we’d be spending more and more time with each other. We might even become seriously involved.”
He remained suspiciously silent.
“You’re a wonderful man. If my mother were to meet you she’d be shouting from the rooftops, she’d be so thrilled. For a while I might convince myself that we could really make something of this relationship. I might even consider taking cooking classes because you’re the kind of man who’d expect a woman to know how to make a roast and mashed potatoes.”
“It’d probably come in handy someday,” he said.
“That’s what I thought,” she murmured, disheartened. “I’m not a traditional woman. I never will be. The only time I ever baked a pie I ended up throwing it in the garbage disposal—and it broke the disposal.”
“A pie ruined your garbage disposal?” Mark repeated, then shook his head. “Never mind, don’t bother explaining. It seems to me you’re getting ahead of yourself here. You’re talking as though coffee together means a lifetime commitment.”
Shelly wasn’t listening. “What about Janice?” she demanded. “She’s the one you should be inviting to coffee, not me.”
“What’s Janice got to do with this?” he asked impatiently.
“Janice,” Shelly snapped, her own temper short. “The woman you’ve decided to marry. Remember her? The love of your life? The woman you’re unofficially engaged to marry.”
“It’s not unofficial anymore,” Mark explained evenly.
“Oh, great, you’re taking me out to dinner, kissing me and at the same time picking out engagement rings with another woman.” She had to admit he’d never lied to her about his relationship with the faceless Janice. He’d been forthright about it from the beginning. But it hurt, really hurt, to learn that he was going ahead with his plans to marry Janice.
He was about to speak, but she forestalled him, struggling to force some enthusiasm into her voice. “Congratulations are in order. I wish you both the very best.” With that she turned and bounded down the stairs, taking them recklessly fast.
“Shelly!”
She could hear Mark calling after her, but she ignored him, desperate to get away before the lump in her throat made it impossible to breathe. Tears had formed in her eyes and she cursed herself for being so ridiculous, for caring so much. Her vision blurred and she wiped a hand across her face, furious at her lack of control. This marriage was what she’d hoped would happen. What she wanted for Mark. Wasn’t it?
“Shelly, for heaven’s sake, will you wait?”
When she reached the bottom of the steps, Shelly moved into a side street, hoping to disappear in the crowd, praying Mark wouldn’t pursue her.
She thought she’d escaped until a hand on her shoulder whirled her around.
“Shelly, please listen,” Mark pleaded breathlessly, his shoulders heaving. “The engagement isn’t official because there is no engagement. How could I possibly marry Janice after meeting you?”
Ten
“You broke off your engagement with Janice?” Shelly demanded furiously. Something inside, some reservoir of emotion, had burst wide-open. “You fool,” she shouted. “You idiot!” Her eyes brimmed with tears, and deep in her heart she felt the stirrings of glad excitement. “That was the worst thing you could’ve done!”
“No,” he said. “It was the smartest.”
“How can you say that?” she wail
ed.
“Shelly?”
He reached for her as though to offer comfort, but Shelly jerked away and stepped back, freeing herself from his grasp. “Janice was perfect for you,” she lamented.
“How do you know that?” he asked calmly and much too reasonably to suit Shelly. “You never met her.”
“I didn’t need to. I know she was right for you. You’d never have asked her to marry you if she wasn’t.”
“Janice is a wonderful woman and she’ll make some man a good wife, but it won’t be me.”
“You’re crazy to break off your engagement. Crazy!”
“No, I’m not,” Mark returned confidently. “I’m absolutely certain I did the right thing. Do you know why?”
Shelly could only shake her head, wiping away the tears with the back of her hand. She was ecstatic—and yet she was so frightened. She loved him; she was sure of it. Then why had everything become so difficult and confused?
“What you said about love the other day changed my mind.”
“You listened to me?” she cried in real horror. “Do I look like an expert on love? I’ve never been in love in my life!” Not counting what she felt for him, of course. She’d always thought love would clarify her life, not make it more complicated.
Mark paid no attention to her outburst. “You helped me understand that I was marrying Janice for the wrong reasons. I’d decided it was time to settle down. Janice had come to the same conclusion. She’s thirty and figured if she was going to marry and have a family, the time was now. It wasn’t a love match, and we both knew it.”
“This is none of my business,” Shelly said, frantically shaking her head as if to chase the words away. “I don’t want to hear it.”
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