Fallen

by Natasha Grace

  He didn’t, but at the same time, he was enjoying her company and didn’t want to leave her just yet. But since he couldn’t say that, he shrugged and nodded towards his office. “Let me just get a few things.”

  Chapter Three

  Sam’s heart softened as she watched Luke try to decide between a teddy bear with a cute sailor hat and a puppy plush with huge adorable eyes in the hospital gift shop forty minutes later. Even when shopping for baby toys, he was all seriousness.

  She was just about to tell him to pick the puppy when he said, “This is ridiculous,” then grabbed both of them. She laughed as she followed him to the cashier. She liked that he’d given some thought to what would make the best gift. It was so unlike Jason, who would’ve just bought one of everything to look good.

  Guilt dug at her for the unkind thought, but she knew it was true. Jason had always leaned towards the flashy side of things. That was just the kind of person he was.

  Luke grabbed a vase of flowers and set it, along with the animals, on the counter. He pulled out his wallet and turned towards her.

  “Do you need anything?”

  She shook her head as she lifted the gift bag she was carrying. “I got Charles to pick up some baby wipes and a romance book as soon as I heard.” Charles, her driver, had also mentioned how expensive diapers were, so she’d bought a year–long subscription to be delivered to Hank’s apartment. But she hadn’t even thought to bring a toy for the baby. Knowing that Jason wouldn’t have forgotten about the baby, she felt her guilt deepen for thinking badly of him.

  “Is that your hospital kit?” Luke asked.

  His grin threw her off balance. She couldn’t remember the last time he’d smiled at her and today, he’d done it twice!

  “It’s more of my everyday kit,” she admitted. “I always carry wipes in my bag and I have a ton of books on my phone.” She never knew when she might have some extra time to do a little reading.

  They headed towards the elevator bank outside the gift shop after Luke finished paying.

  “So what do you like to read?” he asked as they stepped into an opened elevator.

  “I usually read business books or biographies during the week and those really long historical romances over the weekends if I have the time.” She loved those lazy days when she could just stay in and escape into a good book. They didn’t happen nearly as much as she’d like, but she enjoyed them when they did. “Those page–turners can be real sleep killers.”

  “I know what you mean. Sometimes I start a book and by the time I know it, it’s time to go to work.”

  “You read?” She didn’t intend to sound so shocked. Of course he had hobbies. Everyone did, but she guessed she’d always thought of him as a work machine. He lived and breathed Harkin.

  He shrugged. “If I have the time. I love mysteries.”

  She was still having a hard time picturing him reading for fun. He just seemed too serious a person to enjoy reading fiction. When would he even have the time to? “When was the last time you read a book?”

  “Let’s see. It was a John Abrams my sister gave to me… Huh. It’s been almost two years.”

  Two years? She couldn’t even go a month without reading a book. She must have been looking at him strangely, because he said defensively, “I’ve been busy.”

  “I know,” she murmured as the elevator doors opened and they stepped into the clinical corridor. She shouldn’t judge him because she knew the hours he put at the office. He was there when she came in the morning and was still there when she left at night. Hell, he rarely went out to lunch.

  “I can’t believe it’s been so long since I’ve read a book,” he said as they followed the signs pointing towards the maternity ward. “My parents couldn’t afford after–school care, so I used to spend afternoons in the library near my school.”

  Luke was so successful now that it was easy to forget his harsh upbringing. She’d been thinking that the reason he hadn’t approved of her was because of her modest childhood. In reality, he’d had it worse than her. So if it wasn’t her background he didn’t approve of, that meant it was her he didn’t approve of.

  Was she just wasting her time trying to patch things up with him? He’d obviously made up his mind about her a long time ago, and his opinion was unlikely to change no matter how hard she tried.

  Before she could dwell on the subject further, they arrived at Barbara’s room near the end of the hallway. The door was open, but Sam still knocked softly on it before walking in. Hank immediately rose from his seat by the bed when he saw her.

  “Sam.” There were bags under his eyes, but at the same time, there was a sense of restless energy around him.

  “Congratulations,” she said as she hugged Hank. Over his shoulder, she saw Barbara flash her a smile as she softly rocked her newborn. Unbidden, jealousy stabbed her. She’d always thought she’d have children by now.

  In a way, she was grateful she and Jason hadn’t had any. She didn’t want her son or daughter to grow up without a father. She’d been raised by two loving parents herself and didn’t want a child of hers to grow up without the same privilege. But sometimes, the heart didn’t agree with the brain. She still found herself wishing that they’d had children. It would’ve been nice to have a piece of Jason with her.

  Knowing that this wasn’t the time or place to dwell on what–might–have–beens, she forced the thought away and headed towards Barbara.

  * * *

  Sam would have been a great mother.

  Luke watched her coo over the baby and wondered why she and Jason hadn’t had kids. Jason had never shown any interest in having children, but it was easy to see Sam enjoyed them. Had Jason put her off somehow?

  Probably.

  Luke could easily see Jason cajoling Sam, giving a thousand reasons to delay having kids and Sam accepting them. She’d been such a pushover where her husband had been concerned. Besides, children would have dented Jason’s style. He certainly wouldn’t have appreciated the time the children would have taken from his affairs.

  And wasn’t Luke just the greatest friend for thinking the worst of Jason? Sure, he was pissed off at Jason—not just for dying and for leaving Luke with so many messes to clean up, but for all the times Jason had taken Sam for granted. But for all his faults, Jason was a decent guy who’d done well by Luke. He’d do well to remember that.

  As he glanced again at Sam’s expression while she played with the baby, Luke reminded himself that there was nothing stopping Sam from getting married again and having children in the future. Not only was she beautiful and rich, she was kind and intelligent as well. He was sure there’d be a line of men queued up the moment she declared herself ready to date again—even before.

  His stomach dropped at the thought. He didn’t know how he would bear it when she started to date again—to see her laughing and smiling in another man’s arms. Again.

  “I’m sorry I missed the meeting,” Hank said in low tones.

  It wasn’t the first time Hank had apologized this evening, prompting Luke to wonder if he really seemed like the kind of boss who would get mad because an employee needed to be with his wife when she gave birth.

  Luke knew he could be a hard boss sometimes, but he hadn’t thought that he was this bad. Sure, he continuously pushed the employees to do their best, but he never gave them anything they couldn’t handle. The fact that Hank was one of the few people at the fund who wasn’t afraid of him, who never hesitated to tell him how he really felt, made his sudden deference all the worse. Had Hank been relying on Jason as some kind of buffer? Did Hank think that he could lose his job if he disagreed with Luke on something?

  “Don’t worry about it,” Luke murmured, hoping to ease Hank’s mind. He didn’t want Hank thinking he was some kind of a monster. “You were exactly where you needed to be.”

  “So, how did it go?” Hank asked after a moment.

  “Horrible,” Luke admitted. “Thankfully, Sam walked by around twenty
minutes into it and I was able to rope her in.”

  “Fuck.”

  “What?” Luke asked when Hank didn’t elaborate.

  He smiled sheepishly. “I just realized I could’ve gone to Sam and asked her to meet the clients. It would’ve saved you the torture.”

  Immediately after Jason’s death, Hank had pushed Luke to meet some of their bigger clients individually, but he’d refused. He’d been busy enough with the transition and had thought that the clients were just flexing their muscles—to see if they could get him to dance to their tune the way Jason always had. He’d naively thought doing a good job, delivering stellar returns would be enough.

  It wasn’t.

  “It wouldn’t have been as good as you,” Hank continued. “But it would’ve been something at least.”

  “No, you were right. The clients wanted me to reassure them. And though I’m sure Sam would’ve stepped up to the plate, it wouldn’t have been fair to her. She’d had enough to deal with as it was.”

  “Daddy!” A little boy with blond curls came running into the room and launched himself at Hank. As if he’d done it a hundred of times, Hank bent and picked up the boy.

  Daddy? The baby wasn’t Hank’s first?

  Footsteps quickly followed, and a man wearing a red sweater appeared at the door.

  “I’m sorry, Hank,” he said as he held up a pacifier. “The little bugger threw his binky and then took off.”

  Hank laughed. “That’s okay. I know Nathan can be a real handful.” He turned towards Luke and made the introductions. “Luke, this is my brother, Jared, and my son, Nathan. Jared, this is Luke Darren, my boss.”

  “It’s good to finally meet you,” Jared said as they shook hands. “I’ve heard so much about you and your magic way with numbers.”

  Luke wished he could say something similar, but Hank had never mentioned his brother to him. Or his son for that matter. Luke was still struggling with the knowledge that Hank already had a kid. How had he not known that?

  “It’s good to meet you, too,” he said awkwardly as he shook Jared’s hand. Man. He really needed to work on his people skills.

  “Nathan’s getting so big,” Samantha exclaimed as she approached and patted the boy’s head. The boy smiled before burying his face into his dad’s shoulder.

  “And heavy, too.” Groaning, Hank set Nathan down, and the little boy ran to climb onto the chair next to his mother’s bed. Barbara smiled indulgently as she ran her hand through the boy’s hair.

  Sam laughed as she moved towards Luke. “I guess we should get going.”

  “Thanks for coming,” Hank said.

  “Of course,” Samantha said. “And congratulations again.” She turned to Jared. “To you, too.”

  Luke threw in his congratulations as well, then headed back towards the elevators beside Sam.

  “I didn’t even know they already had a kid,” he admitted once they were out of earshot and immediately regretted the words. What would Sam think of him? She was so in touch with everyone at Harkin. She always knew whose birthday it was and who had an anniversary coming up. He didn’t even know that one of his closest employees was a father.

  Sam laughed. “You’re not exactly the type of person people are going to confess their children problems to. Besides, Hank isn’t like Janet, who somehow manages to work her children into every conversation. He’s almost as bad as you when it comes to keeping business and personal lives separate.”

  Luke knew she was trying to make him feel better, but he still felt guilty. He’d been working with Hank longer than she had and yet, she knew more about the guy than he did. Then there was Hank’s apology…

  “Am I really that horrible of a boss?”

  He knew some of the employees didn’t think of him as human, but to believe he’d want them to be at the office when their children were being born?

  “Come on.” Sam nudged him with her elbow. “It’s not like you actually want to listen to everyone’s problems about how they didn’t get enough sleep because their baby was crying or how their kid’s Little League game was cancelled, do you?”

  “Of course not. But there’s a big difference between knowing about a Little League game and knowing that the person has a kid in the first place.” He wasn’t a misanthrope. He did care about the employees. He just wasn’t doing a good job of showing it.

  “You could start asking people more about their days or weekends,” Sam suggested. “But let me warn you—people love to talk about themselves.”

  “That’s what I’m afraid of.” He had no interest in hearing about people’s weekends, but he had to get over his hatred of small talk. Now that Jason was gone, Luke wanted the employees to be able to talk with him if they had a concern, and they wouldn’t do that unless he set them at ease.

  Tomorrow, he’d make sure he took the time to ask the employees how they were doing. Hopefully, he wouldn’t get any more surprises like secret children who apparently weren’t secret at all. He glanced at his watch and saw it was later than he’d thought.

  “Do you want to get something to eat?”

  “I’m sorry, but I can’t. I don’t want to keep Charles up too late. We still have to drive back.” Sam lived in Greenwich, which was still almost an hour away.

  He was about to tell her that he could drive her but stopped. One week. She’d been back at the office only one week and he was already pushing work aside to spend time with her. He never did that. Hell, he didn’t even accept dinner invitations from his family when he was busy at work, and his family meant everything to him.

  With Harkin on such shaky ground, he needed to put his all into the company—not think of ways he could spend more time with Sam.

  The realization triggered a wave of regret and he realized that he’d only been fooling himself when he’d told himself he was over Sam. He still wanted her. He’d never stopped.

  The guilt hit him hard. Jason may not have been the best of husbands, but he’d been a good friend. And how did Luke repay Jason? By envying him his wife and telling Sam about Jason’s affair.

  Only, it had backfired. Sam had refused to believe Luke and had stood by her man. It had taken years before she’d bothered to be anything more than chillingly polite to Luke. And still, he wanted her.

  Because he knew he’d do something stupid if he continued to spend time with her, he vowed to keep his distance as best he could. So he said goodnight at the hospital entrance and watched as Charles drove her away in her black SUV.

  But as he went home, feeling empty, he wondered how he would ever manage to stay away from her.

  Chapter Four

  Luke parked in front of his parents’ home and sighed as he took in its tattered roof and old window shades. He’d been wanting to buy them a house for years, and when they’d finally given in, they’d chosen this?

  Even after all the renovations he’d had done, Luke still felt as if it would be easier to just tear the whole thing down and build a new house.

  Though he was happy that his parents were finally living in a safer neighborhood, he wished they’d let him do more. What was the use of having all this money when he couldn’t help the people that he loved? Hell, the only reason they’d even agreed to move was to be neighbors with old friends who’d recently moved here as well.

  Shaking his head, he glanced at the passenger seat and felt his heart soften when he saw that his sister was still asleep. She’d probably had a lot of late nights studying for her finals next week, and though he was so proud of her—not only was she the first in the family to go to graduate school, she’d also be the first doctor in the family—he felt bad at the knowledge that things would only get worse from here. She’d start her residency next year and, from what he’d heard, thirty–hour shifts were the norm, not the exception. It wasn’t the kind of life he wanted for his baby sister, but since it was what she wanted, he’d support her in any way that he could.

  He hated to wake her up from her much–needed sleep, but
everyone was already waiting for them inside. He shook her shoulder lightly. “Wake up, Anna.”

  When she didn’t wake up, he shook her a little bit harder and she turned towards him.

  “Are we there yet?” she asked, her eyes barely open.

  “Yeah.”

  She covered her yawn as she stretched. “I’m sorry, Luke. I must be the worst passenger.”

  “It’s fine.” He actually enjoyed the quiet time to think about the company’s problems but doubted his sister would appreciate him saying so. He got out of the car and got the French vanilla ice cream he’d had his cook make out of the cooler in the trunk. It would go well with whatever pie his mom had chosen to bake.

  “Is it bad that I already want pie?” Anna asked as she joined him.

  “I’ve been looking forward to it all week,” he admitted with a grin. After his younger brother had moved out for college, their mom had instituted a monthly dinner ritual to make sure no one drifted away, and without fail, she always made pie.

  The door opened as they made their way up the steps, revealing their brother holding a beer bottle.

  “It took you long enough,” Brian said and Luke inwardly rolled his eyes. His brother was perpetually hungry. It was probably why he’d decided to move near Mom and Dad after college—he could drop by their house for lunch and then again at night for dinner.

  After their parents had moved to the new house, Brian had complained about having to worry about lunch every day, but Luke knew that he still went to Mom and Dad’s for dinner almost every night.

  “Brian!” Anna rushed to hug him.

  Brian returned the hug. “How’s school going?”

  “It’s the worst. Thank goodness I’ll be done next year.”

  “A Darren through and through,” Brian said, laughing as he messed with Anna’s hair.

  Both Luke and his brother had hated school, but they’d been forced to go to college, because their parents had refused to settle for anything less for their children. They’d wanted more for their kids than the factory and waitressing jobs they’d had all their lives.