On the way back to the hotel at the end of the grueling day, Gabriel allowed Nadei to sit up front with the driver while he sat beside Valeriya in the back. Of course, he had presented the change as a need to stretch out his long legs a little more, but the truth of the matter was that he was actually enjoying being around her and would find any reason on God’s green earth to be near her. Even though they were genuinely cramped, he used the opportunity to sit much closer than he needed, and as a result, she was forced to nudge her body into his, especially with Andriy taking up so much space on his side. Thank God for small favors.
Even though they all were exceedingly sweaty, she could smell his deodorant mixing with his fragrant cologne and feel the natural heat from his body as it absorbed right into hers. It was hard not to just tilt her head over into his wide chest after such a long day and take a nap herself. His large arm was already stretched behind her across the seat and for some unspeakable reason; she felt that if she had laid her head on him, he would have welcomed it. It was like his position was an open invitation and all she had to do was accept it…accept him. But how could she when he never uttered a word.
A news talk show was on the radio, and everyone was too tired to carry on a conversation. Instead, the small crew reflected on the day in silence as the sun set on the horizon and gave way to night fall.
Nadei texted liked a madman on his cell phone and in between listening to the radio.
Sam ate leftovers from the orphanage with one hand and steered with the other.
Andriy fell asleep five minutes into the drive. With his head angled down and his hoodie covering his face, he snored lightly and drooled heavily.
But Valeriya was tense and only grew tenser every time Gabriel shifted beside her. His long legs were splayed out, showing the sheer size of his enormous thighs and the relaxed bulge in the center of his jeans. She had expected him to talk her to death, but he simply stared out of the window with his elbow propped on the side of the door and his hand under his perfect chin, completely oblivious as to what he was doing to her by just sitting there.
The silence of the car did little to keep her thoughts from trailing back to the night before when he had kissed her not once but twice. Her mouth still felt bruised from his five o’clock shadow and the force in which he took her up against that wall. But at this moment, one would have thought that the moment had never existed.
It was his infinite cool calm that made her uncomfortable. His fingertips gently touched the side of her arm, causing goosebumps to shoot over her body, but he looked out of the window like she wasn’t even there. Maybe for him, she wasn’t, but every time that he did bother to look at her or talk to her, she felt like she was the only person in the room. He made her feel that way. Gabriel made her feel right in a world that for so long, she had felt out of place in and what disturbed her the most was that he didn’t even know that he did it.
Fifteen minutes into the bumpy drive, her back started to ache from sitting so rigid. Deciding that her reasoning for being so uncomfortable around him might very well be all in her mind, she finally slumped her shoulders and rested into him.
Gabriel slowly dragged his eyes from the window and looked over at her with an expression of inevitability. Pulling her into his embrace, he offered his body as her personal pillow. Seeing that the slightest movement had not acquired the attention of Sam or Andriy, she let her guard completely down and snuggled into him.
Gabriel smiled and caressed the soft silk-like skin of her capped shoulder. Inhaling the strawberry scent from her hair, he tried to remember not to get aroused. That’s how badly he wanted her, to the point of public embarrassment. He ached to have her, ached to be close to her, inside of her. But the sweet small gesture of just trusting him in her private space was enough for now.
Gabriel had a completely different attitude about what the Donetsk Revolution was about after a day in the city, and it wasn’t just because he wanted to bed its leader. This wasn’t the over-politicized farce that some in the international media had made the situation out to be. It was real people being exposed to the real threat of deadly violence every day. It was about people saving other people, instead of profiting from their demise – a concept lost to him up until now.
After working all day, he understood why small businesses needed guns to protect themselves against looters and why senior citizens needed food and medicine after their buildings had been shelled. He understood why single mothers needed an AK-47 to protect their young, beautiful daughters and sons, especially when so many of the men had been injured or killed. He understood how the neo-Nazis during the divide of the country, had become tyrants over anyone who didn’t look like them or believe like them, why people of color didn’t come out past dark and were afraid to travel alone, why those who were from other religious backgrounds worried about their temples and mosques being vandalized. But more than anything, he better understood Valeriya. And that shook his very foundation, because he didn’t seek to better understand any woman until now.
However, he wasn’t the only one with a different idea by the end of the day.
Unable to help herself, Valeriya had watched Gabriel out of the corner of her eye, spying on him and Nadei as they worked without hesitation or complaint. He had caught her gawking at him when he spoke and dipping her head whenever they made eye contact. He made her nervous. It didn’t take a genius to see that maybe she was starting to see him as more than just the rich boy. The veiled hope that that prospect brought him only made him work harder and for once in his life since he had decided to work for his uncle’s organization, he could really say that he had done an honest day’s hard labor for someone other than himself.
***
As the truck pulled up to the back of the hotel, Valeriya woke from her sleep, head pressed against Gabriel’s chest and popped up before Andriy and Sam could see her. Shaking him awake, she smiled. “Andriy, we’re here,” she said, maternal and kind.
Gabriel opened his door and stepped out on one side. Valeriya and her brother stepped out on the other side.
“Did you enjoy your day?” Nadei asked facetiously. It was odd to him to see his boss behave like such a normal person with this very abnormal woman, but he mildly enjoyed it.
Gabriel smirked at what he had in mind for Nadei. “Yes, I did, but I don’t think you’re going to enjoy your evening much.” He closed the door behind him. “I want you to take care of those little shits in that house beside that orphanage tonight.” Looking around to make sure that Valeriya wasn’t rounding the corner; he stepped closer to Nadei and spoke in his ear. “Burn it down. Get rid of those pests.”
Nadei nodded. He had done worse in shorter time. What was being asked of him now was no big deal for a man of his skillset. “I’ll need someone to get me back over there.”
Gabriel twisted up his lip. “Valeriya trusts Sam. Take him. Pay him. I don’t care. Just get it done.”
“Sure boss,” Nadei said, following Gabriel to the door by the dock.
Valeriya pulled open the door for Gabriel and Nadei and stood the side as they passed. “Dinner will be ready soon. Why don’t you go and freshen up, and I’ll send Andriy up to get you when it’s time.
Gabriel was sticky with sweat, covered in dirt and soot and exhausted, but he didn’t want to leave her yet. Plus, he needed to keep her attention while Nadei arranged something with Sam. “Are you cooking?” he asked as Nadei walked up to Sam and whispered something in his ear.
Valeriya looked toward the women already gathered in the kitchen peeling potatoes and cutting up carrots. “I always cook,” she said, closing the large door behind her and locking it. The sound echoed throughout the small, neat kitchen. “Why?”
“I figured I could help.” Gabriel looked back at Nadei. “I’ll be fine. You go on up and get some rest, buddy. I know you’re tired.” His eyes, however, gave another directive.
Nadei didn’t take but a second to catch on. “Thanks, boss. I’m going to
take shower,” Nadei said, wiping his forehead. “Then I’ll find that girl from last night. I won’t be back down until much later tonight.”
Gabriel nodded and turned back to Valeriya.
“What girl?” Valeriya asked curiously, looking past Gabriel at Nadei as he and Sam disappeared through the doors to the common area. “When did they get so chummy?”
“While you were asleep, I guess.” He was not about to get into that. Walking over to the prep station by the oven, he looked at the large pile of fresh vegetables on the island. “Where did these come from?”
“We still have farmer friends nearby,” Valeriya said, throwing him a potato. “Do you know anything about the kitchen? If not, please leave it to the professionals.”
Gabriel heard the other women giggling. He grinned sheepishly, a deep dimple exploding in his suntanned cheek. “I know a lot more than just how to cook. You should let me show you sometime.” Picking up a peeler, he looked for a garbage can. In truth, he’d never peeled anything a day in his life, but he had seen the maids do it and watching the other women who laughed and talked in their native language, would be enough of a tutorial to figure it out.
Valeriya went over to the sink and washed her hands first, then returned to the island. “I’ll do it with you.” Picking up a potato, she slowly peeled the first one to show him how to do it. When she was done, she twisted it in her hand. “See. No skin.”
Gabriel winked at her. “I’m good. I can handle it. Really.” He ran the peeler over the potato with such force that the little instrument flew across the room onto the counter.
Even Valeriya laughed. Shaking her head, she stopped him. “No.” Pushing him toward the door, she insisted he find something else to do.
Gabriel laughed as he felt her nimble hands nudging at his lower back. “What?” he asked, pretending to try to stop her.
“The old saying is true. Too many cooks spoil the broth,” Valeriya said, pushing him out of the door into the common area where the children were sitting around. She stood only an inch from him, looking up at him for the first time with brightest smile he had ever seen and in that moment, he could see his entire future reflected in her eyes.
His voice was softer now. “I’ve never heard that saying,” Gabriel said, looking down at her. He wanted to kiss her again so badly until it hurt.
She swallowed hard. “Find something else to do. Entertain the children. Take a shower. Take a nap,” she pointed a finger at him, “but no cooking for you.”
“Alright, alright.” Gabriel took her pointed finger and pulled her hand into his chest.
Suddenly, Valeriya went stiff with the overt display of affection. Too fast, too soon, too complicated. She stepped back, gaining her composure with inch that she pulled away from his magnetic hold. “I’ll come for you when dinner is ready,” she said, smoothing her hair behind her ear.
“I’ll be waiting,” Gabriel said, watching her walk away. He turned to find the children staring. Cracking a smile, he clasped his hands together. “Who wants to see a movie?”
***
Olek had been out the entire day, later than normal, later than ever. Making himself push through the heavy emotions on his heart, he had made all of his stops with a few of their men, getting soap, tents and munitions to as many people as he could. When he pulled up to the hotel in a beat up Toyota tundra, he saw Sam and Nadei pulling off in one of their other cars. It was odd to him to see them together, but he was far too tired to go snooping.
Slamming the truck door closed, he leaned against it in the dark and rested his tired body while the rest of the men went inside for dinner. All of the men knew that something was wrong, though he wouldn’t say what, so they had left him alone outside of work during the entire day.
And Olek was happy for it. The only emotion he could muster was guilt and the only physical reaction that he could understand was sickness. He felt nauseated for the secret he held and scared for the woman he loved.
But one idea had kept him going all day. Maybe it didn’t have to be this way? If he could just talk Valeriya out of leading their group without telling her what the men were planning, then who would really be at a loss? He just had to find a way to get through to her, but it would not be easy with Gabriel in the way.
Hearing the back door open and close, he looked up to find Valeriya throwing out a bag of trash. She looked his way casually and smiled. “Exhausted?” she asked, oddly upbeat.
“Very,” he huffed. Standing up from his kneeled position, he walked over to the edge of the dock and leaned against the concrete. “Valeriya, we need to talk.”
She rolled her eyes, but entertained him for the moment. “Is this about Gabriel again?”
“No,” he said, slapping his hand on the surface. “Damn it, there are other things, larger, more important things going on right now. And I feel that you would be able to see them if your judgment wasn’t so clouded.”
“My judgment is not clouded,” Valeriya said, standing above him. Sitting down on the edge of the dock with her feet dangling off the side, she planted her hands beside her. “The people are happy, Olek. Why can’t you see that? Look at what we’ve been able to do in just one day. Normally, we are done delivering packages by noon. Today, we all had to do two shifts. People were able to eat tonight, to take a clean bath, to take medicines that they’d been without. Our men and women have guns.” Her face tightened. “We are in a position to fight again.”
Olek scratched his head, itching from dirt and debris. “We were never supposed to fight – not outright. The Revolution was about protecting our people, not leading children to slaughter.”
“Well, things have changed. The bombings are ruining our city. The children are dying anyway. We can’t just sit back and watch. We must encourage the people to rise up and fight. But they are scared. They need a show of force first – that force must come from us. We have to speak with more people, make a cry for more help, and demand more from our government. Most of all, we cannot accept the crumbs and the excuses that they give us.”
Olek rolled his neck and growled. “You are not a military leader.”
“Neither are you. We both were handed a different course in life before all of this.” She could feel the anger boiling up again. How dare he remind her of the life that she had lost.
“So what do you want to do? Take on the Russian separatists with our pitiful 600 men and women. There are thousands of them. There are very few of us. We have no tanks; we have no drones. We have no army.”
Valeriya frowned at him. “What happened to the man who used to lead the conversations with the people about rising up? What happened to the man who used to actively go out and recruit for the resistance? Now, you sound like whipped dog.”
Olek raised a hand. “Do not put that on me.” He bit down and stepped away from her, throwing her hands up. “You’re impossible. All you want to do is fight and lead other people to their deaths just because your brother was killed.” It was harsh, but true and she needed to hear it as far as he was concerned.
Valeriya’s voice rose. “He cannot have died in vain. It has to mean something not just for me but for everyone who has lost someone. We must take up arms.”
Olek understood her pain, but he could see very clearly where Faddei was right. “All I want is for you to be safe. All I want is what is best for you.” His voice was broken with pain.
“And you know what’s best for me, do you?” Valeriya wasn’t convinced. “I see your ambition, Olek. Behind every sweet, caring word there is a man who is only patronizing me to get one step closer to his own goals. That’s the reason that you and I didn’t work the first time. You want to lead and you want me to follow.”
“Is that what you see when you look at me? Is that all that you see? Fucking ambition?” He turned around and glared at her. Even in the dark, he could see her face twisted into a scowl under the streetlights. “Because I see the same thing every time Gabriel looks at you, but you can’t beli
eve it because he brought you something that you should have had already if he had just made the deal the right way the first time. But his money and his resources make it a little harder for you to see what he really is? A salesman. A pimp. A rich man who only wants our money.”
Valeriya didn’t want to be reminded at that moment of what Gabriel could be. “I don’t know what I see? I don’t know you anymore. But what I do know is that Gabriel has done more for this resistance then you give him credit for and it’s all because you’re jealous.” Standing up, she wiped her jeans off and turned to walk back inside. “I can’t argue with you right now. I have work to do.”
“Valeriya,” Olek called out.
But she did not stop. Barreling through the door, she slammed it behind her, leaving him alone with his thoughts. Olek was furious, not only with her but at himself. How could he not see it before? Valeriya was never going to be the woman that he wanted her to be, and he was never going to be good enough for her. He would always be what he was – her faithful sidekick – unless he did something about it. And for him that stopped now.
***
Gabriel found a way to make himself useful. His MacBook Air had a 100 movies downloaded on it, most of them not for underage consumption. Using a bare wall in one of the meeting rooms, he connected a projector from the conference room and showed the children a Pixar movie – one of the few in his collection of children’s stories that he actually enjoyed. His cousin, Anya, loved the movie, Brave, so he had downloaded it for her to watch on his computer when she traveled with them on the jet.
Quiet and still with popcorn and candy, the kids curled up in blankets and marveled at the storyline and the brilliant imagery. He found the story fitting for the audience, especially since many of the children living in this hotel because of their displacement were girls.
Relaxing in the back of the room, he propped his feet up and watched the movie with the kids while his cell phone lit up over and over again as message after message came in from Briggy.
Gabriel's Regret: Book 1 (The Medlov Men Series 2) Page 16
