by Sudha Murty
Life went on. Sanjay was away for four days attending an international conference in Malaysia. Mridula received an urgent call from the nursing home regarding some documents for the new pharmaceutical company. She told the clerk, ‘I don’t know anything about the documents.’
‘Madam, this file is usually with Shankar sir or Anil. When both of them are unavailable, it is with Doctor sir who keeps the file in the nursing home. May I get it today? It’s important.’
‘Well, in that case, you can ask Rosemary and take it.’
‘Madam, Rosemary is not allowed to open Doctor sir’s cupboard. She has the keys but doesn’t operate it on her own.’
Usually, Mridula did not go to the nursing home except on Ayudha Puja day. But she felt sorry for the clerk and said, ‘Don’t worry. I’ll go to the nursing home and search for the file.’
A few years ago, Anuradha had had a baby in their nursing home. After trying to conceive for a long time, she had finally become pregnant and had a normal delivery. Everybody was happy. Sanjay had assisted in her case. Mridula had told Sanjay, ‘Please don’t charge Anuradha anything. When we had no money, they looked after Sishir without any expectations. I never felt hesitant to leave my child with them.’
‘Of course, Mridula. Whatever you say. I won’t charge them a rupee even though a normal delivery costs fifty thousand rupees. I respect your feelings.’
Mridula was happy that Sanjay was listening to her, at least this time.
At the baby’s naming ceremony, she had given a gold chain to Anuradha’s baby boy. Kantamma had welcomed her and made ragi balls especially for Sishir. When Mridula was about to leave, Kantamma had thanked her and said, ‘Your husband’s a nice person. In spite of being such a senior doctor, he came for the delivery in the middle of the night. He also gave us a concession of ten thousand rupees.’
Mridula had been taken aback. To reconfirm, she had asked, ‘How much did you pay?’
Muniyappa had said, ‘The actual bill was fifty thousand but Sanjay gave us a green slip with ten thousand written on it. So I paid forty thousand rupees.’
When she sat in the car, Mridula had felt disgusted. She had thought, ‘How can Sanjay take money from them? At this stage of life, forty thousand doesn’t mean much to them. It was just to show them our affection. Doesn’t Sanjay understand?’
When she had come home, Sanjay was talking to Rosemary over the speakerphone. Rosemary was asking, ‘Doctor, how much discount should I give the Transport Secretary’s daughter? She’s getting discharged tomorrow.’
‘Rosemary, don’t charge them anything. Write a complimentary slip and send them a nice bouquet. He may be of great use to us later.’
Mridula’s anger had known no bounds. After he had finished his call, she had asked him, ‘Why did you charge Anuradha for her delivery?’
Without batting his eyelids, Sanjay had said, ‘Because Anuradha wanted the bill.’
‘Of course, she would’ve asked for it, but you should have refused. You have done wrong.’
‘What’s wrong in taking money from them? Anuradha and Arun have senior-level jobs and each of them takes home at least one lakh rupees. And their company will reimburse them this cost. I have still reduced ten thousand rupees.’
‘Then why did you lie to me?’
‘Because you would get upset.’
‘Well, I’m even more upset now.’
‘That’s your problem.’
Sanjay had gone to the other room and started making his office calls again. After that day, Mridula had stopped going to the nursing home except on Ayudha Puja day. She felt that the nursing home could run without her help. Neither her words nor her presence had any consequence.
Today was a first after a very long time. Though Rosemary was just the head nurse, she was Sanjay’s right-hand person. She knew how to invoice, whom to bill and how much to charge different people. She knew which doctors to call in Sanjay’s absence. But Rosemary was aware of her limitations. Sanjay did not allow her to touch his personal documents in the cupboard.
When Mridula reached the nursing home, she asked Rosemary for the keys. Rosemary said, ‘Here you go, madam. But I don’t know what’s in the cupboard. I’ve never opened it.’
Mridula opened the cupboard and searched for the file. She found a bank passbook first. She was surprised—all the passbooks were supposed to be at home. When she opened it, she found that the passbook was from Sanjay and Lakshmi’s joint account in a bank in Malleshwaram. Mridula did not know about this account. She was under the impression that she was looking after all of Sanjay’s accounts, at his own suggestion. The account balance was close to fifty lakh rupees. It was not the money that astonished her, but the fact that she blindly believed that nothing happened in her house without her knowledge, particularly since it was an unwritten understanding that money matters were her domain.
At that moment, something inside her just shattered into pieces. When the foundation of trust cracks, how can a marriage remain the same? Mridula felt like she was drowning. Her thoughts haunted her. ‘How can Sanjay open an account without telling me? The date of the first transaction is five years ago. I’ve been cheated for the last five years and I was not even aware of it. Isn’t this infidelity too? Alex cheated on Anita in one way and Sanjay has cheated on me in another. He’s the one who said, “I don’t want to handle money. You manage it and I’ll manage the nursing home.” I guess the apple really doesn’t fall far from the tree. When my mother-in-law is desirous of money even at this age, what else can I expect from her son?’
Mridula wanted more information about the account. She saw the counterfoil of a Rs 10 lakh DD sent to Ratnamma. Sanjay had sent the money to his mother but he had told Mridula that he would not send it. Mridula realized that he was a practised deceiver. She found a gift deed of a car given to Anil. She recalled how easily Sanjay had told her that it was a company car. Apart from that, there was a joint fixed-deposit for fifty lakh in Sanjay and Lakshmi’s name.
But the most important paper was lying at the bottom of the cupboard. Four years ago, Sanjay had bought a house for Lakshmi and it had been rented out. Lakshmi was probably collecting rent every month and was staying in a house paying lower rent instead. Mridula also found numerous cheques made out to Pratibha Jewellers in Chickpet that came to around five lakh a year. Now Mridula realized that all the gold that glittered on Lakshmi’s body was real. Every year, she had been giving Lakshmi ten thousand rupees on Gowri festival without knowing that Lakshmi was collecting five lakh from her husband on the side.
For a second, Mridula was upset with Lakshmi; then she thought that when her husband himself was manipulating her, why should she blame anyone else? Was it her ignorance, foolishness or Sanjay’s cunning nature that had encouraged all these activities? Mridula did not even care to close the cupboard and walked out without speaking to Rosemary. As soon as she could, she ran to her car.
In one moment, Mridula had lost all her confidence. She reached home without tears and did not let her driver know that anything was wrong. She went inside her bedroom and closed the door. She was so hurt that she could not even cry. She was filled with shock and anger. ‘I can’t believe that Sanjay has cheated me like this,’ she said to herself. ‘I’ve lived with complete belief and trust in him ever since we got married. How am I going to live with him for the rest of my life? I don’t know what to do.’
Soon, Sanjay came back from Malaysia. It was late at night when he reached home. He felt at once that something was amiss because Mridula did not get up to talk to him when he lay down next to her. Sishir was also absent since he was in Delhi with his friends. Early next morning, their driver, Nanja, told Sanjay that Mridula had not been to school for the last two days. Something was definitely wrong.
Sanjay thought, ‘Mridula is talkative and doesn’t stop talking even in adverse situations. A few friendly words to her will make her herself again. I’ll go talk to her now. In spite of the servants at home, she ma
kes coffee and breakfast for me every morning. My mother and Lakshmi would never do that for their husbands. Shankar really doesn’t know how to get respect from his wife.’
When he went to their bedroom, Mridula was staring at the ceiling and had tears in her eyes. As soon as she saw Sanjay, she went to the guest bedroom and locked the door. He did not get a chance to say a word.
When Sanjay went to the dining table for breakfast, there was nothing to eat. The cook, Sakamma, came and he told her to make him a cup of coffee. She asked him, ‘Sir, what do you want for breakfast?’
‘Why’re you asking me? Ask Madam.’
‘No, sir, she hasn’t eaten anything for the last two days. I’m really worried. I think she’s unwell. I’m relieved that you are back.’
Now, Sanjay got really concerned. This was the first time that something like this had happened. He got up and knocked on Mridula’s door, but she did not open it. He did not want to create a scene in front of the servants. So he quietly left for the nursing home and met Rosemary there. She said, ‘Sir, what’s wrong with Madam? I’ve been calling your house but I keep getting the answering machine. She had come for some documents a few days ago and I gave her the key to your cupboard. After that, she just went away without locking it or telling me.’
She handed over the keys to him. Understanding finally dawned on Sanjay. Mridula had seen the files and learnt about Lakshmi’s assets. But he was not too worried. He thought, ‘What’s wrong with what I did? Lakshmi is my sister and when I didn’t have anything, I stayed in her house for two years. She has a useless husband who can’t afford to buy her a house. Anil is also not a good son. Besides, I have only given her black money. Mridula will complain that I didn’t tell her. But why should I tell her everything? She’ll say that everybody should earn his or her own money. But that’s her theory, not mine. I am Dr Sanjay, Bangalore’s most successful doctor and I’ve made the money on my own. I don’t have to explain it to anyone. I’m not responsible for Mridula being upset. She’s not short of money either. I have the right to decide what to do with my money.’
At the end of the day, when Sanjay was going back home in his car, he mentally prepared answers to Mridula’s potential questions. But by the time he reached the house, Mridula had shifted bag and baggage to the guest bedroom and locked it again. There were no questions and no accusations—just a strange silence.
Over the next few days, Mridula stayed locked in the guest bedroom whenever Sanjay was at home. She did not feel like getting up from the bed or combing her hair or going to school. She felt like crying all the time and did not want to meet anyone. She stopped feeling hungry as well. She wanted to talk—but there was nobody to talk to. Her father was old and she could not trouble him with this. She could only confide in Anita who herself was facing personal issues. Still, Mridula decided to visit her.
When she reached Anita’s house, there was an uneasy quietness everywhere. Anita hugged her and affectionately put her hand on Mridula’s shoulder. Then she said, ‘There must be something going on that you’ve come to see me. You look disturbed. What is it?’
Feeling Anita’s genuine concern, Mridula could contain herself no longer and wept loudly. Sobbing, she told her the entire sequence of events. Anita smiled and gently said, ‘Mridula, don’t cry. What exists must perish. Sanjay has deceived you. But I believe that this wrong money won’t help Lakshmi in the long run.’
‘Anita, it is not about money. Money can be earned and lost. It is about faith that a wife has in her husband. That’s more valuable than money and gold. Faith sustains a marriage and brings joy to the family. Without it, we have nothing. How can Sanjay destroy the faith and trust I had in him?’
‘Mridula, you don’t own Sanjay. He has emotional attachments to other people too. He has to keep everyone happy.’
‘Anita, I know that. That’s why I have maintained a relationship with his family, even when they are cold and when they ignore me. He should have told me about his intentions. He knows that I always give in at the end. Why did he cheat me like this?’
‘Money, women and land are the three things that can ruin a family’s happiness. We have both been cheated in different ways. Only faith in God can restore your peace.’
‘But how? I don’t know what to do. I don’t feel like staying in my house. I don’t want to talk to Sanjay either. Where should I go? And what will Sishir think of all this? Sometimes, I feel like dying but I know that that is not the solution.’
‘Listen to me. Turn to God. Pray to Him to show you the right path.’
Mridula realized that there was no point in talking to Anita further and she left.
Her agony had not reduced. She knew that she must talk to someone older who loved her like a daughter. She wanted to cry and tell that person how she had been deceived and how much she was hurt. She decided to talk to Kantamma.
A few days later, Mridula went to see Kantamma who welcomed her. ‘Come, come, Mridula. I’m seeing you after a long time!’
Mridula went inside and sat on the couch. Kantamma smiled and said, ‘How is Sishir?’
‘Fine.’
‘Mridula, you look pale. Is there a problem, dear?’
Mridula started crying the moment she heard these kind words. She wanted to share everything but something held her back. Kantamma asked, ‘Mridula, why are you crying? Did you fight with your husband? Your husband’s such a nice man. He couldn’t have said anything to you. He hardly talks. Did Sishir say something? Oh, children at his age definitely talk a lot and don’t realize what they say. Forgive him.’
But Mridula did not say a word. Kantamma waited for her to speak. When she did not, Kantamma made coffee for her and continued to talk. ‘Ups and downs are a part of life. But women must have more patience. Only then there is peace at home. Look at Sita. She suffered a lot but she persisted. Look at Draupadi. When goddesses themselves suffer so much, what are we? You know how my husband is. He was a principal for a long time and was strict at home too. My children never cared. But I had to obey him no matter what.’
Mridula was disappointed with Kantamma’s value system. She knew now that she would only be told to adjust. Kantamma would not understand her grief. But Mridula could not stop crying. Kantamma quietly and firmly said, ‘Crying is not the solution. Be courageous. God has been kind to you and the doctor respects you. Your mother-in-law also doesn’t stay with you. Look at other people. Most people are worse off than you. Be happy with what you have.’
Mridula wanted to change the topic and asked, ‘Where is Muniyappa sir?’
‘He’s gone to Kolar. We had a hundred sheep and his brother used to look after them. Just the other day, when we asked for the accounts, his brother said that the sheep are all dead. We don’t know whether he sold them or not. My husband’s gone to check. I told your sir to forget about the sheep and not get into any problems, but he doesn’t listen to me. I pray to God to take care. He’s been kind to us.’
Somehow, Mridula could not stay there any longer. When she got up to leave, Kantamma gave her flowers, a blouse piece and kumkum. Mridula hesitated to take them. Kantamma affectionately said, ‘Today is Friday and you’re like Mahalakshmi. When you came to Bangalore, your husband had nothing. You’ve brought good luck to him. Giving you this kumkum is a good omen. Please don’t say no.’
Kantamma’s love brought tears to Mridula’s eyes again; she accepted the gift.
With the same broken heart, she returned home. The moment she entered, the phone rang. It was Sarla. Her aged parents had come from Hubli and wanted to see Mridula. Sarla insisted that she must visit them and said that she was sending Satish to bring her. Mridula did not feel like going anywhere but Sarla would not take no for an answer.
A few hours later, Satish came to pick Mridula up. When the doorbell rang, she was crying. She quickly washed her face and opened the door. Satish was observant enough to notice that she had been crying but did not ask her why. He could not. There was a distance betw
een them now. He thought, ‘When Mridula was a young girl, we shared everything except the fact that I loved her. But today, she is somebody’s wife.’
Satish said, ‘Mridula, you must come for lunch today.’
Mridula was in no mood to go. She said, ‘Satish, how are the preparations for Tirupati going on?’
‘Good. Prasanna has outsourced all tasks including the god’s darshan. So there’s not much for us to do.’
‘What time are you reaching Tirupati?’
‘Early morning, but Shyla and I are going to walk up the steps.’
‘Why?’
Hesitantly, Satish said, ‘Last year, Shyla was unwell and I prayed and promised that I’ll climb the steps to Tirupati once she recovers.’
‘Then you must do that, but why is Shyla climbing the steps?’
Satish blushed and said, ‘Come on, Mridula. She’s my wife and my better half. How can I go alone? She knows that I get bored without her.’
Mridula thought, ‘There is charm in their marriage even after more than twenty years.’ For the first time, Mridula was envious. She wanted to know how they lived. She asked, ‘Do you do all the work together?’
‘Yes. Shyla works too. So we divide the chores between us.’
‘How do you manage your expenses?’
Satish was surprised by this question. Quietly, he said, ‘We aren’t rich like you, Mridula. We live on our monthly salary. We calculate our expenses together, save some money and spend the rest. We have two daughters. They must also learn household work. It’s important to learn to be independent. Each of my daughters is assigned chores and they are paid for doing them.’
Mridula fell silent. Such schemes would not work in her house because Sanjay could afford everything. Satish continued, ‘Every morning, we go for a forty-five-minute walk during which we discuss our home matters. Then we do yoga at home together. In the evening after dinner, we spend fifteen minutes telling each other what we’ve done during the day. Shyla’s been my best friend through the years.’
