by S. K. Hardy
“All of which is true,” Raven cut in with a teasing smile.
“Yeah. It is,” Hawk agreed. But the seriousness of his mood didn’t lighten. He needed to make sure she understood everything he was saying. “I’m all of those things plus a helluva lot more. But one thing I can promise you is that I’ll fight for you harder than I fight for my own life. I mean that.”
“Hawk.” His name came out a broken whisper. Raven placed her hand on the side of his face and bit down on her lip to stop it from trembling.
“I want us to start over. As of tonight, I’d like everything that happened in our past to be just that. The past. I know you’ve been through a lot but I’m hoping you can do that.”
Raven’s arms tightened around his neck. “I want that, too. The entire time I was gone, I missed you so much. I hated myself for missing you, but I couldn’t help it because I...” She pressed her lips together as if sealing off an exit to keep the next words from escaping.
Hawk ran his hand soothingly down her thigh. He knew she was afraid. He could see it in the way her pulse beat rapidly against her neck, could feel how violently her body shivered in his arms, but they had both gone too far to stop now.
“Say it, Rae.” Hawk’s voice sounded unnaturally loud in the quiet room.
Raven closed her eyes tight. “I’m scared.”
“I know, but I got you, baby,” he said, gentling his tone “I’m right here.”
She shook her head from side to side despite his assurance.
“Do you trust me, Rae?”
“Yes.”
When she answered without hesitating, the beast inside him purred. “I trust you, too. I’ve never let myself be vulnerable with anyone like I have tonight. Not ever. The things I’ve told you, I’ve never spoken of to anyone.” He ducked his head down so that he could look directly into her eyes. “It’s because I love you, Rae. I’m hoping you love me too.”
Eyes widening and searching his for the truth, Raven nodded cautiously when she saw what she was looking for. “I do. I love you so much it hurts. Just the thought of being away from you almost sends me into a panic.”
Hawk let out a long, drawn out breath. “I feel the same way, baby. Fortunately for us, that will never happen. I’m never letting you go again.”
Her tremulous smile gradually grew wider. “Good. Because I don’t want you to.”
Hawk’s face remained serious. “Just make sure you’re always honest with me, Raven. That’s all I ask. Everything’s out in the open now, so don’t lie to me. Not ever.”
Raven stared at him with wide eyes. A beat later she nodded. “O-Okay.”
Hawk held her eyes for several more seconds before hugging her close. Instead of being wary about the direction their relationship was taking, Hawk felt a sense of relief that they’d finally been honest and told each other how they felt. Rae made him happy, happier than he’d ever been in his entire life. He would do anything to protect what they had.
However, his relief was tempered with caution. Hawk almost felt like he was driving on black ice here. When it formed on a road, the thin coating of transparent ice was almost impossible to see–but it was there. That’s how things felt with Raven right now. There was something he couldn’t quite put his finger on, something she wasn’t telling him and he didn’t understand why. He’d been as open and honest with her as he knew how to be. About everything. So why was she holding back? What was she hiding?
Hawk banded his arms tighter around her. He wanted to believe she was being completely truthful with him, but he knew she wasn’t. And that was a problem. Lies were like a slow poison. If they seeped in between them, they would slowly kill off everything he and Raven shared a little bit at a time. Hawk didn’t want that to happen.
He had to find a way to get her to open up to him. The black ice they were tentatively walking on was extremely dangerous and treacherous. One wrong step and they would skid out of control and destroy everything they were trying to build. If that happened...Hawk was afraid that this time? There would be no coming back from it.
CHAPTER 28
Hawk and Raven finally fell asleep after another arduous round of lovemaking. With his stomach full from good food and his body sated from the loving of a good woman, Hawk found himself sleeping harder than normal. So when the noise he heard finally penetrated his senses, it took a moment for him to react. His heavy lids struggled to open but when he heard the sound again, his body tensed.
Hawk frowned. The noise was somewhat muted. Instinct told him he wasn’t in any danger, but something was...off. Cracking his eyelids open he saw the faint image of a figure carefully moving around the darkened bedroom. He immediately knew it was Raven. What was she doing? Had she just come back from the bathroom?
He answered that question a few seconds later. No. It looked like she was getting dressed. Hawk’s eyes darted towards the window. It was still dark outside. His gaze went back to her as she slipped a dress over her head and zipped it up. Why was she putting her clothes on?
Suddenly, as if sensing she was being watched Raven froze. Hawk knew she couldn’t see that his eyes were opened a sliver in the darkness but the connection between them was so strong that she felt his stare. He lowered his eyelids and slowed his breathing when she cautiously walked over to the side of the bed. He felt her lean over and study him to see if he was still asleep. Several seconds ticked by before she finally tiptoed away.
Hawk watched her slip her feet into a pair of sandals. After grabbing her phone, she glanced at him once more, then quietly left the room. Lifting himself to a half-sitting position, Hawk propped himself up on his elbow.
What tha’ fuck?
Relying on his sense of hearing to gage where she was, he jumped out of bed and stood by the bedroom door. He remained still, listening as she went into the living room. Walking on silent feet down the hall, he peeked around the corner and saw her step into the elevator. As soon as she did, he ran back into the bedroom. Throwing on a pair of jeans and dragging a t-shirt over his head, he thrust his feet into his shoes. Hesitating, he opened the bottom drawer of the table beside the bed and retrieved his gun. Tucking it behind him in the waist of his jeans, he grabbed his phone and hurried to the living room.
Impatiently stabbing at the button to call the elevator back to the penthouse, he dialed the number to the front desk and brought the phone up to his ear.
“This is Hawk Pattel,” he barked when the call was answered. “My girlfriend just got off the elevator, 5’4, black hair pulled up in a bun and wearing a short, sleeveless dress. I’m on my way down. Let me know where she goes.”
Disconnecting the call, he jumped on the elevator as soon as the doors slid open. It only took a few seconds for it to reach the lobby. Hurrying out, his eyes went to the front desk attendant, who discreetly nodded towards the entrance. Hawk’s eyes scanned the direction the man indicated and immediately spotted Raven. Standing off to the side, he watched her pace with arms folded while throwing quick, impatient glances outside.
What in the hell was she doing?
Five minutes went by. Then ten. Hawk could tell she was getting anxious. She dialed a number then brought the phone up to her ear while keeping her eyes peeled on the elevators. Hawk moved back to make sure she didn’t see him. He knew she was probably expecting him to discover she was gone and come searching for her. What was so important that she would chance that happening?
Suddenly she became alert. His narrowed eyes shifted in the direction Raven stared in. That’s when he saw the person she was obviously waiting on walk inside the hotel. Benny Thompson. The blood rushed to his head so quickly that all Hawk saw was a red haze.
What in the entire fuck?
He watched Raven and Thompson closely, focusing on their body language. They seemed to be arguing, the same as he witnessed earlier today on the security cameras. Hawk sent a quick text to Tony telling him to meet him downstairs ASAP. Tony kept a room at the same hotel when Hawk was in town just
in case he was needed...and Hawk needed him now. One way or the other, he was going to find out what the connection was between Raven and Benny and he was going to do it tonight.
Hawk continued to observe them. This time, Thompson appeared to be more aggressive than he was at the club. More than likely it probably had something to do with him getting fired. Intentionally crowding Raven until she took a step back, he towered over her gesturing wildly. The sight incensed Hawk. He’d had enough. At that exact moment, out of the corner of his eye, he saw Tony approach him.
“Wait here until I say otherwise,” he told Tony before crossing the lobby with long, angry steps.
Thompson saw him first. He did a shocked double take before giving Hawk an evil smirk. Raven’s back was initially to Hawk. When she saw Thompson’s attention directed to something behind her, she swung around with an expression that was a combination of suspicion mixed with dread as if she knew it was Hawk. When she confirmed that fact, panic set in.
“Hawk!” His name came out in a hoarse, strangled voice. She was terrified, not really for herself, but because of what she knew he would do to Benny Thompson. Her next words tumbled over her tongue in a breathless rush. “Hawk, wait. It’s n-not what you think! I...I can explain!”
She hurried forward to try and intercept him, but Hawk easily sidestepped around her. The move put him mere inches in front of Thompson, whose mouth quirked upwards in a smug grin. Hawk guaranteed he wouldn’t be wearing it for much longer.
With his eyes remaining on the bastard in front of him, Hawk issued a curt order. “Go to the room, Raven.”
She grabbed his arm and tried to pull him away. “Hawk, come with me. Please.”
The look he spared her left her reeling enough that her hands fell away. Fury coursed through his veins threatening to burn him up from the inside out. He had never been angrier in his life– but he would deal with her later.
Teeth welded together, his lips barely moved. “Go to the room!”
“Okay, okay. But please come with me. Please, Hawk. Please,” Raven begged in a desperate whisper. “There’s something I have to tell you.”
Hawk almost exploded. Now she wanted to tell him? When she got caught she wanted to talk? His lips had just parted to shoot out a blistering reply when he spotted a man coming towards them who he recognized as one of the hotel’s plain clothed security.
“Is there something I can be of assistance with, Mr. Pattel?” he asked when he reached them.
Hawk stared at Raven for several moments before answering in an abrupt tone. “Take her back to my suite. Don’t leave until I get there.”
“Yes, sir.” Turning to Raven, the man nodded for her to precede him. “Ma’am.”
But Raven didn’t move. “Hawk, please let me explain. The reason I–”
Hawk cut her off quick. “I don’t want to hear it. You either walk to the elevator on your own volition or he’ll carry you there. It’s up to you.”
Raven searched his eyes, no doubt looking for a glimmer of the tenderness he’d shown her mere hours ago. However, what she saw reflected in his depths was an emotion completely opposite. Knowing that here was no way to get through to him, she reluctantly turned around and left without another word.
“Impressive. You gon’ have to tell me your secret to gettin’ women to obey like that, Pattel.”
Hawk had been staring after Raven, his thoughts driving him insane with question after question. Thompson’s mocking taunt immediately beckoned his attention. “What were you talking to Raven about?”
“Ask her.”
“I’m askin’ you,” Hawk growled in a low voice. “Let me give you a bit of advice, Thompson, you do not wanna fuck with me. I promise you don’t.”
Benny’s face darkened. “You started this shit when you fired me! But I’m gettin’ ready to finish it!”
“Me firing your ass was a warning for you to stay away from my woman, one you didn’t take heed to. That was a big mistake.”
“Man listen, I spent ten years in the pen. You don’t scare me.” Benny’s eyes crawled over Hawk. “Besides, if anything happens to me, the only person you’ll be hurting is Raven.”
“What the fuck is that supposed to mean?”
“I ain’t stupid. I put safety precautions in place a long time ago just in case somethin’ happens to me.”
“What are you talking about? What kind of safety precautions?”
“Don’t worry about it. Just know that if you care anything about Raven, it’s in her best interest that I make it to where I’m goin’ the same way I left.”
Hawk studied Benny through squinted eyes, trying to decide whether or not he was bluffing. The fact that he was completely in the dark about what was going on made him err on the side of caution. Even though it went against everything in him, he’d have to back down until he talked to Raven and found out the entire story.
“You have no clue what I’m capable of, Thompson. None. But if I ever see you again you’ll find out in excruciating detail. Stay the fuck away from Raven. Got it?”
Giving him one last look, Hawk spun around to leave but he had only taken a few steps when Benny’s words reached out to hook him back.
“Awww, ain’t that sweet. You really think Raven needs your protection, Pattel?” Benny’s laugh was deliberately meant to taunt. “ You ain’t got no idea what kind of woman she is, do you? What she’s capable of.”
Hawk stopped. His jaw worked furiously. He told himself to keep walking, to ignore Thompson and go talk to Raven. The problem was Raven wasn’t telling him shit, and after this he wasn’t sure he could believe her even if she did. Even though it pissed him off to give this mu’fucka any more of his time than he already had, he reluctantly turned back and fixed him with a cold stare.
“What the fuck does that mean?”
“It means Raven ain’t as innocent as you think she is. When she wants somethin’ she’s gonna get it no matter what she has to do–or maybe I should say, who she’s gotta do. She got you wrapped around her little finger just like she had me all them years ago. Back then Raven was young. Tender. She was inexperienced, but still...eager,” he smirked suggestively. “I can only imagine how good she’s gotten since then. Don’t matter, though. I guess what they say is true: A bitch never forgets the man who busts her cherry, right?”
The deceptive stillness that grasped Hawk in no way hinted at the anger gaining momentum inside of him. He fought to stop it from getting the upper hand because his first inclination was to reach for his gun. His hand actually moved towards it but the part of him that was still rational enough to remember where he was made him pause. The cameras in place around him demanded he temper his response. Hawk was sure that’s what Thompson was counting on; it was probably why he was being so reckless at the mouth.
He slowly lowered his hand to his side. Instinct told him to be easy. Protect his woman. Thompson had something on her. As much as he wanted to do what came naturally, he’d suppress the urge and wait. There would be an opportunity to deal with Thompson later.
Trying to let that thought placate him for now, his nostrils flared in a soft snort. Yeah, he’d see this mu’fucka again. When he did, he’d make sure Thompson choked on every insulting word he ever said about Raven. Hawk dragged his eyes over him one last time and turned to leave again.
However, he’d only taken a couple of steps when he pulled up short shook his head. Nah. There was no way he could just walk away without addressing Thompson’s disrespect. Fuck that. The gangsta in him just couldn’t let that shit slide. If he did it would haunt him for the rest of his life.
Swinging around, Hawk saw surprise then wide–eyed fear on Thompson’s face. Before he could blink Hawk punched him dead in his throat, an area that was as fragile as tissue paper. Anyone inexperienced with the deadly move could crush a person’s larynx and instantly kill them. Luckily for Thompson, Hawk knew precisely how to land the blow and still keep his ass alive.
Thompson stumbled ba
ck a couple of steps, gagging and clutching his throat before crumbling to the floor like the bitch he was. He stared up at Hawk with eyes bulging. It was obvious he was in excruciating pain, but he would live–for now. Ignoring the horrified faces of the people around him, Hawk squatted down with a look of fake sympathy.
“Now look what you made me do, Benny. I told you that you didn’t wanna fuck wit’ me, didn’t I? But we’ll talk about all that later because you’ll be seein’ me again real soon. Once you do, that pain in your throat will be the least of your worries.”
Giving him one last look, Hawk stood up and walked towards Tony, who was waiting on his order. “Follow him then call me when he gets to his destination.”
After giving the terse directive, he continued to the elevator and pounded on the call button. As he rode up to the penthouse, he paced impatiently inside the small space that felt more like a stifling cage. He was positively seething. The anger inside of him churned like lava in a volcano threatening to blow and destroy everything in its path. And right now, that included Raven.
CHAPTER 30
Once the elevator opened, the hotel’s security stood up and waited for Hawk’s instructions. Raven watched him from across the room with a wariness that told him she wasn’t quite sure what to expect.
Hawk glanced at the man and nodded. “That’ll be all. I appreciate your assistance.”
“Of course, Mr. Pattel. Let me know if there’s anything else we can help you with.”
“Thank you.”
After he left, Hawk pulled out his gun and placed it on the surface of the mini bar. After pouring himself a shot, he turned and fixed his cool stare on Raven. She returned his gaze with the directness and candor he was accustomed to from her.
Hawk shook his head. Even now, knowing she was in the wrong she didn’t cower or shrink away in the face of his censor. A part of him admired that about her, admired her strength, her grit. But his anger–and disappointment–outweighed all of that. After the conversation they had last night he hoped they were finished with the lies and the deceit. He hoped he’d been mistaken in thinking she was hiding something from him, but deep down inside he knew he hadn’t called it wrong. His instincts never, ever failed him.
