by Maya Banks
Cade’s lips twitched. “Okay, we’ll start with why you’re a dickhead.”
Merrick made a rude noise. “It’s all the same. I mean, what I think makes me a dickhead who’s lost his mind.”
“Do tell.”
Merrick’s shoulders heaved. “It’s about Elle.”
Cade rolled his eyes. “Yeah, I figured. What about her?”
“I want her,” Merrick said bluntly. Then he grimaced. “Oh my God, that sounds so fucked up. Especially after what she’s been through. Shit. It’s not like I’m wanting to jump her bones. I’m not having stupid inappropriate thoughts. It’s just that there is something there. A connection I don’t even understand, but I know two things. I’m not going to let anything else hurt her, and I’m not going anywhere.”
“Okay,” Cade said slowly.
Merrick eyed his friend with a piercing stare. “Don’t think I don’t know that you feel the same damn way, which is why I didn’t want to have this conversation. We have a woman in there who’s been brutalized. She likely doesn’t trust any man at all, and who could blame her? And she doesn’t even know who she is or anything about her past. Hell, she could have a husband and kids somewhere for all we know.”
Cade shook his head. “You tell me something. If she belonged to you, wouldn’t you have turned this city upside down looking for her? She obviously doesn’t belong to anyone because only a damn fool would just let her disappear.”
“Maybe,” Merrick said grudgingly. “That doesn’t solve the issue between us, though. I’m not letting a woman come between us. We’ve never let it happen. We may as well be brothers. We’re family. And I’m not ruining that. But…”
The corner of Cade’s mouth lifted. “But you aren’t backing down either, right?”
“Yeah,” Merrick muttered. “I’m not backing down.”
Cade remained silent a moment. He wasn’t certain what to say. He understood Merrick’s reaction. It was much the same as his own reaction to Elle. And no, he sure as hell didn’t understand it either. His instincts screamed that she was his, and apparently so did Merrick’s, which really muddied up the damn waters.
They were both jumping the gun in a serious way. Elle was fragile. They knew nothing of her past or present. They were taking a damn lot for granted.
But yeah, he was going to protect her just like he knew Merrick was, and neither of them was going to walk away from her, and they sure as hell weren’t going to let her go without a fight.
Which was damn sure going to put them at odds in a way they’d never been pitted before.
“You going to sit there like you aren’t having the same damn thoughts?” Merrick interjected. “You don’t come to me demanding I start talking and then clam up when I tell you what I’m thinking.”
Cade sighed. “What do you want me to say, Merrick? That I want her too? That I look at her and something just clicks and I know that I’m going to be front and center in her life from now on if I have any say? That I’m going to make damn sure nothing ever hurts her again? That I want her no matter how long I have to wait for her? And yeah, you’re right. It makes us both out of our goddamn minds. We only just met the woman. This kind of shit just doesn’t happen.”
“Tell me about it,” Merrick muttered.
“I’m going to go get Elle so she can eat,” Cade said. “We understand each other. For now… For now, she’s going to need us both to get her through her recovery and whatever else comes up. For now, we’re going to have to put aside whatever crazy-ass thoughts we’re having and focus on what’s best for her.”
Merrick nodded. “Yeah, in that we’re agreed.” But then his gaze met Cade’s. “Don’t let this fuck us up, man.”
“Yeah,” Cade said quietly. “I hear you.”
C H A P T E R S E V E N
ELLE FLINCHED, AND A SMALL whimper emerged from her throat. Fear knotted her insides, and she strained to see her pursuer. She could feel him, could feel how powerful he was. Knew he was right there, waiting. But she couldn’t pierce the thick cover of shadows to see his face.
She ran faster, even knowing it was inevitable that he would catch her. She felt the sweat that drenched her shirt, felt the heat enveloping her. The sun.
She tripped and fell face first in the dirt, her hands sprawling out to break her fall. And when she turned, he was there, looming over her, but the sun blinded her.
As he moved, the sun’s rays caught on something clipped to his side. It was a badge. He reached for her, and she let out a scream, knowing it was her last chance to escape.
“Elle, Elle, wake up. You’re safe. It’s okay. Open your eyes, honey. You’re safe.”
Her eyelids fluttered, and confusion filled her. None of her surroundings were familiar. She had no idea where she was, and then her gaze found the owner of the voice.
A man was a mere foot away, and she was still so ensconced in the terror of her dream that she couldn’t differentiate it from reality.
She rolled away with a cry of fright, ignoring the stabbing pain through her body. She fell off the bed on the other side, and she hastily scrambled upward, trying to gain her footing so she could flee.
But the man blocked her pathway.
He didn’t make a move toward her, though. He just stood there, his expression calm, but his eyes were murderous. She shivered at the darkness in his gaze.
“Elle, take a deep breath and calm down, honey. Remember where you are. You were having a bad dream, but that’s all it was. You’re safe here. Remember last night? You’re here with me and Merrick, and we’re going to take care of you.”
She stared back at him as the previous evening came back in bits and pieces. Cade. His name was Cade. He’d helped her. He and Merrick. They’d found her in the shop she’d broken into, and instead of turning her into the police, they’d taken her to a friend for medical help and then they’d brought her home.
“Cade,” she croaked out.
“Yes, honey, that’s me. Cade. I’m not going to hurt you. I came to see if you wanted breakfast. I made pancakes, and if you don’t hurry, Merrick’s going to eat them all.”
She blinked at the lighthearted joke, and some of the shadows clinging to her mind melted away as she stared at the man standing a few feet away.
Where before he’d seemed so menacing, he now appeared gentle and kind. He was a big man. Tall, lean but very well muscled. He and Merrick were both dark-headed, but Cade had lighter brown hair where Merrick’s was nearly black. Cade’s eyes were blue, and she frowned as she tried to remember what color Merrick’s eyes were.
Brown. Dark brown. Adding to his dark appearance. He had shoulder-length black hair, chocolate-brown eyes, and he was rugged and tanned. He was broader and taller than Cade, which said a lot because Cade was no small man.
Her rescuers should by all rights scare the holy hell out of her, but they’d been nothing but kind and gentle with her, and she desperately needed someone to trust.
Her past was a scary blank sheet that made her break into a cold sweat every time she tried to look back and remember. Someone had tried to kill her. According to Dallas, she’d been raped.
The mere thought of something so horrific happening to her and not being able to remember was a blessing and a curse all wrapped into one.
That she’d been violated made her stomach clench into a ball. Panic swamped her at the image of being so helpless while a man held her down and forced himself on her.
The other part of her was relieved she couldn’t remember because she wasn’t sure she could deal with the horror of a rape on top of everything else she’d endured.
“Elle, are you all right?”
She glanced back up and realized sweat had beaded her forehead and that her breaths were coming in rapid spurts.
“Dallas said I’d been raped,” she blurted.
She recoiled in disbelief that she’d just put it out there that way, but her thoughts were a scattered mess, and that was the one thing prevalent on her
mind. She’d been violated, couldn’t remember it, but she knew it had happened.
Cade’s eyes grew stormy again.
“I know, honey,” he said in a soft voice. “He told us too. I’m sorry. I’d like to catch the son of a bitch who did this to you. I’d cut off his balls and shove them down his throat.”
Whatever response she tried to formulate came out as a low sob, and then suddenly Cade was right in front of her, pulling her into his arms.
At first, she stiffened, but his strength and warmth bled into her, giving her comfort she desperately needed and wanted. She melted into his chest, closing her eyes as he held her. He rubbed a hand up and down her back and murmured softly into her ear.
“Is it wrong of me not to be sorry I can’t remember?” she whispered.
Cade squeezed her and cupped the back of her head. “No. Your mind is protecting you. Right now, you’re too fragile to cope with everything at once. When you’re stronger, you’ll remember, and Merrick and I will be with you to help you through it.”
She carefully pulled away, staring back at him in complete befuddlement. How could he make a promise like that? How could he look so serious when making such a statement?
He looked as though he meant every word.
Before she could pursue it any further, he carefully took her arm and guided her toward the door. “Let’s go have that breakfast, okay? Let’s see if we can get some decent food into you, and then we’ll give you your medicine again.”
Numbly, she allowed him to lead her out of the bedroom and into the kitchen. As they reached the doorway, she self-consciously glanced down at her rumpled clothing. Cade’s clothing.
As soon as they walked into the kitchen, Merrick stood from the table, his gaze intent on her. He stalked forward, and she pulled up, unsure of what to do or what he was doing.
Then he simply reached out and touched her cheek. “How are you feeling this morning?” he asked gruffly.
For some reason, the tenderness against such a rough-cut exterior made her teary-eyed.
“Ah hell,” he said in a desperate sounding voice. “I didn’t mean to make you cry.”
Then she found herself enfolded in his beefy arms, surrounded by him. She soaked in the comfort just as she’d done when Cade had held her. It buoyed her flagging spirits and was a balm to her aching soul.
She rested her cheek against his chest and closed her eyes as he continued to hold her. She felt safe here, and that was saying a lot, because even her dreams were filled with fear and insecurity.
Somehow Cade’s promise didn’t seem so farfetched at this very moment. He and Merrick both had somehow managed to make her believe in the impossible.
Merrick’s lips pressed to the top of her head, and then he carefully pulled her away so he could guide her to a chair.
“Are you hungry? Cade makes a mean pancake.”
“Butter and lots of syrup,” she said. Then she brightened. “I remember how I like to eat pancakes!”
Cade smiled at her and then reached for the plate of pancakes in the middle of the table.
“Let me give these a quick warming, and I’ll bring back the butter. You want milk?”
She nodded and then settled more comfortably into her seat.
“You didn’t answer my question,” Merrick said as he sat back down. “How are you feeling? Still hurting?”
She touched her shoulder automatically and then glanced down at the bandages still covering her hands. “How am I supposed to eat?” she asked ruefully.
Merrick reached over and began to carefully unwind the gauze. “Dallas said we could remove some of the padding. He just wants to keep the cuts covered, and he gave us some ointment for when we change the bandaging. How about I take it off, let you eat, and then I’ll reapply everything afterward.”
Elle smiled up at him. “Thank you, and I am feeling a little better today. I feel…safer.”
His hands went still, and then his fingers curled around hers. “I’m glad you feel safe, Elle. Cade and I are going to make sure you are safe. We aren’t going anywhere. I need you to believe that.”
She sucked in her breath. It was the second time such a promise had been made, and this time it was coming from Merrick.
He continued unwinding the gauze and then carefully pried off the bandages that were stuck to her skin by dried blood. He patted the cuts before tossing away the remnants of the dressings.
Cade returned and put a plate of pancakes stacked high in front of her. She flexed her fingers, checking for signs of discomfort, and then picked up a knife to spread the melting butter evenly across the surface of the pancakes.
“I remembered something,” she said nervously. “I dreamed it, I mean. So I think I remember it. Or maybe it’s just part of a really bad dream.”
Cade sat down with his own plate on her other side, and he and Merrick looked intently at her.
“What was the dream about?” Merrick asked gently.
“Him,” she croaked. “The man who…raped…me and tried to kill me. In my dream, I’m running and I know I can’t escape. I saw a badge attached to his jeans, like at his pocket or belt loop or somehow at his side.”
Cade and Merrick exchanged dark glances, their lips tightening.
Then something else occurred to her, and her eyes widened.
“It was hot,” she blurted. “I mean, here it’s cold. But in my dream, I was sweating, and the sun, it was bright.”
“That’s good,” Cade soothed. “You’ll get it back, Elle. Don’t rush it, though, okay? Don’t try to force yourself to remember before you’re ready. Merrick and I will be here for you. I don’t want you to be scared at any time, and you can tell us anything. We’ll always be here to listen.”
“You can’t be planning for me to stay with you permanently,” she said in bewilderment. “You know nothing about me. I broke into a building, for God’s sake.”
Merrick lifted an eyebrow. “Can’t we? Where else are you going to go, Elle? Do you honestly think we’d let you just walk out of here knowing you have no memory, no money, no place to go?”
She stared back, having no idea what to say to that. Most people would just turn her over to the police and be done with her. But these two men knew of her terror, knew she didn’t trust any cop, and they not only took her in and didn’t push her to go to the police, but they made her a promise to be with her…long term.
“You guys aren’t real,” she whispered.
“The hell we aren’t,” Cade bit out. “I made you a promise, Elle. Merrick made you a promise. Neither one of us is going back on our word. We aren’t letting you go, and we’re damn sure going to protect you.”
She closed her eyes, soaking in the firmness of his words, how determined they both sounded. A haven. Sanctuary. They were offering something she desperately needed. She’d be a fool to turn it down.
“Okay,” she said in a shaky voice, taking the plunge.
If she couldn’t trust them, who could she? There was no one else. She had no other options. Cade and Merrick were all she had.
She jumped when a loud bang exploded in the kitchen, and suddenly an older man appeared, staring over at Cade and Merrick.
“Where the hell have you two been? I’ve been at the office an hour waiting for your lazy asses. You pick today to sleep in?”
C H A P T E R E I G H T
“DAMN IT, DAD,” CADE EXCLAIMED as he reached to keep Elle from bolting from the room.
Charles Walker glanced between the three, his eyes narrowing suspiciously, but then his gaze settled on Elle and he frowned.
“You blew off work for a one-night stand?”
Merrick groaned. “For God’s sake, Charlie. Shut the fuck up for two seconds.”
Elle was standing, her arm outstretched where Cade had caught her wrist to keep her from bolting. She was staring at Cade’s dad like he was the antichrist. And, well, he couldn’t exactly fault her suspicion. Damn old man had no filter whatsoever. He said what he l
iked when he liked and didn’t much give a fuck what anyone thought.
“What the hell happened to her?” Charles demanded as he stared harder at her. It seemed to have finally sunk in that she was obviously injured and scared out of her mind.
Merrick stood and walked around the table to take Elle’s hand. He glanced back at Cade. “You deal with him. I’ll take Elle in the other room.”
Cade sighed as Merrick herded Elle out of the kitchen, and then he turned to his dad.
“What did I say?” Charles asked, raising his hands, palms up.
“Oh for fuck’s sake,” Cade muttered. “What do you ever not say?”
Charles slid into Merrick’s vacated chair. “What’s the story on the woman?”
Cade leveled a stare at his dad. “I’m only telling you if you keep quiet, and I mean you don’t say shit to anyone.”
Charles shrugged. “Whatever you say.”
“I’m serious, Dad. This is deep. I haven’t said much to Merrick about this aspect of it, but we have to keep this quiet because he can’t afford to fuck up his chance at a title shot. This could get twisted around and reflect badly on Merrick if we aren’t careful.”
His father’s expression became serious. “What’s the matter, son?”
Cade ran down the story from the time he and Merrick had responded to the breach in security to the present. By the time he was finished, Charles was wearing a scowl that rivaled Merrick’s worst.
“Son of a bitch,” Charles muttered.
“Yeah.”
“So you’re going to keep her?”
The incredulous tone to his dad’s words rubbed Cade the wrong way.
“What do you want me to do, Dad? Toss her out? She’s hurt. She’s been raped and God only knows what else. The son of a bitch shot her twice. It’s a miracle she’s alive. And she’s terrified of the police. So you tell me. What would you do with her?”
Charles sighed and rubbed a hand over his balding head.
“And you’re a damn liar if you tell me you’d toss her out, so don’t even try that shit with me, old man.”
