He nods but instead of moving his hand, he sweeps his thumb across my lips gently. My breath hitches, and his eyes flash. Something passes between us, but I’m too lost in his gaze to figure out what it is.
“I’m starving.” Nicky opens a beer and slides onto a barstool.
Shaw drops his hand as I snap out of my trance and move to the stove.
“I tripled the recipe. You should be fine.”
“What are we having?”
“Dipshit!” Shaw slaps Nicky’s head. “You never ask. When will you learn? It’s rude.”
“It’s just Bizzy!”
“You need to learn to be suave. Say something along the lines of ‘What smells so delicious?’.”
“Suave, huh? When did you become the master on charm?”
“I’m trying something new.” I break up their argument. “It’s organic.”
The kitchen goes silent. Mathis looks to the ceiling, and Nicky makes a face like I’m serving dog food. Shaw purses his lips.
“Guys, it has chicken!” I defend, but get no reaction. “Fine, it’s a Chicken Parmesan with rotini and roasted vegetables.”
Every shoulder in the room relaxes.
I hand Mathis the table settings and instruct Nicky to help. When they walk out, Shaw comes up behind me and lays his hands on my shoulders. He threads his fingers through my hair, gently untangling the waves. It’s no secret how much I wanted long hair after the chemo. It took years to get it the same length, but the day I walked out of the salon with the style I’d dreamed of for years, I had a celebration.
“Your hair looks beautiful tonight.” He leans in so close I feel him inhale, then exhale, his warm breath scorching the skin on my neck. “So do you.” His voice is husky.
Holy shit. My knees wobble, and I have to grip the counter to stay upright. Butterflies start to swarm in my stomach and fly wildly throughout my body.
Get a grip! I mentally chastise myself.
“What can I do to help?” His tone is still low.
“You can… umm… maybe.” Shit my mind goes blank at the feeling of his chest against my back.
“I think I’ll open some wine.” He moves away.
“Okay,” I whisper.
Cool air hits my back, and I sneak a glance over my shoulder to see him reaching for glasses. He catches my eye and gives me his signature grin, seemingly unaffected by our exchange.
I imagined the whole thing. Fucking mental case. He tells me I’m beautiful all the time. What the hell is wrong with me?
“Bizzy, your cable sucks,” Nicky storms in and repeats for the hundredth time.
“What’s wrong with her cable?” Shaw asks, saving me from speaking.
“She still has basic. How can we watch the season predictions without ESPN or NFL Network?” Nicky glares at me, and I bow my head, knowing this is going to escalate. It always does when we do dinner at my apartment.
“I didn’t upgrade!” I admit.
“Bizzy, I left money specifically for that on your counter. Stop being stubborn!”
“Nicky, I either go to your games, watch them with your parents and brothers, or work. I don’t need to upgrade. When I’m here, ESPN is not my choice of programs. I also don’t need your money.”
Shaw hangs his head in disappointment, not shocking since he’s been on the cable bandwagon for as long as the other two. Mathis comes in and stomps to me. He leans down, throwing me over his shoulder, and turns to Nicky.
“Now! You say you know where it is, so get it. She can’t fight me.”
Quickly, Nicky moves to my stack of mail and grabs the cable bill. He runs to the other room with Shaw following. I beat Mathis’s back in protest, but it’s no use. He grips the back of my knees and tickles.
“Mathis! I’m going to sic Claire on you at work! Let me down now!” I squirm.
“I’d welcome that. She’s not a threat. But missing the predictions about the upcoming season because you’re too cheap to get the prime cable package is unacceptable.”
“I’m not cheap! I have Netflix!” I argue.
“We love you, but no more! We require cable!” He puts me down but still holds me in place until Shaw and Nicky come in, smirking with satisfaction.
“All taken care of for at least the next twelve months.” Nicky shoves my bill in the trash. “You no longer have a cable bill.”
“Just so you know, I’m replacing you with Claire. She may have shit taste in men, but she’d never let a mongrel manhandle me!”
Nicky grins and shrugs.
I huff and finish dinner, trying to think of a way to get them back. The few times my eyes go to Shaw, he’s staring at me with an unreadable expression. It’s obvious he didn’t feel the same energy earlier.
Waves of disappointment wash over me, but I replay the reasons in my head that we’ll never be more than friends.
He’s your best friend’s brother…
He thinks of you as a sister…
He met you when you were bald and emaciated…
He’s protective in a friendship way…
I straighten my shoulders and start filling plates. Nicky gives me a wide grin of approval when he sees the amount of food.
“It’s Mathis’s turn to start,” I tell them when we’re seated.
“I have nothing to tell. All I do is work with the very occasional night out. This is the best meal I’ve had since our last MDN.”
“Did you know your life would be so boring when you decided to become a doctor?” Nicky teases him.
“Don’t be mean.” I throw a napkin at him. “Dr. Mathis is the coolest in the hospital. My kids adore him.”
Nicky smiles proudly and slaps Mathis on the back. “Knew you’d be the best.”
They exchange a look I’ve seen many times. Everyone in the Bennett family was affected differently when they heard the cancer diagnosis. It set Mathis on the path to becoming a pediatrician.
“Nick’s turn.” Mathis changes the conversation away from him.
“The same old shit. Workouts, drills, watching films. First pre-season game is in a week. I’ll probably play one quarter.”
“I’ll be watching for at least one quarter then.” I smile proudly at him and look at Shaw. “Your turn.”
We turn to him, waiting for the exciting adventures of a high-profile sports agent. He gets to jet set around the country, meeting famous—or soon to be famous—sports stars.
“Working on the power drink endorsement for Nick. We should have that signed soon. I have a few potential clients on the west coast of Florida. Heading to Tampa and St. Petersburg in two weeks.”
“I’ve heard St. Petersburg is beautiful. I’ve never been.” I sigh.
“Come with me.”
His statement shocks me, and I inhale mid-sip. I start to choke, wine spraying everywhere. “W-w-what?” I stutter.
“Jesus, say it, don’t spray it.” Nicky wipes his cheek.
“Sorry,” I apologize, my face burning. “I thought Shaw invited me on his business trip.”
“I did, and it won’t be all business.”
“I can’t.” My mind scrambles, trying to think of believable excuses.
“Why?” Mathis asks. “You have plenty of vacation and hardly ever use it. Nurse Evie told us in a staff meeting last week she’s going to mandate the nurses use their personal time. Your PTO bank is full, and if you don’t use it, you’ll lose it.”
Mathis is a traitor. He totally ruined that excuse.
“Sounds pretty easy to me.” Shaw sits back, raising an eyebrow and waiting.
“There’s no way to get the time off with this short notice,” I throw at him.
“That’s a shame. Would have been nice to have you with me, and I’ve owed you a vacation for ten years. Not sure if the area is considered tropical, but they have gorgeous beaches and terrific nightlife.” His eyes trap mine, testing me.
The memory of me teasin
g him the first time we met plays in my mind. I can’t help but grin at the expression on his face. Little does he know that I still use that with my patients. It helps break the ice and usually gets me a smile.
“It’s done. She’s off Thursday through Monday.” Mathis drops his phone on the table. “Evie approved.”
“Did you text my boss requesting vacation time?” I start to panic. There’s no way I can do this. My heart can’t sustain a weekend with Shaw alone, especially since one compliment in my kitchen led my pathetic imagination to run wild.
“Seriously, Bizzy, what’s the problem? You’ve vacationed with us forever.” Nicky puts a hand on my shoulder.
I don’t look at him for fear he’ll see right through me. I’ve hidden my crush for years, and he can’t discover it now.
“But it’s been all of us together. I’d hate to be a bother. Shaw needs to work.”
“No bother. We’ll have our own rooms if that makes you more comfortable.”
I’m stuck. There’s no way out. It will cause suspicion if I keep refusing.
“I’ll think about it.”
Each man smirks, knowing I’m giving up the argument.
“I’ll have Gail send you the details on Monday.” Shaw flashes a triumphant grin.
Chapter 3
Shaw
I take a sip of whiskey and look out across my balcony at the waves crashing in the surf. It’s rare that I’m home before dark, but today, I enjoy the sunset. The whole reason for buying this place was the view. Even though the inside is top of the line, it’s the view that I paid a mint for.
I think back on the day I made an offer. My mom and Bizzy ran around with stars in their eyes. They had plans for this place… I had no idea what I was getting into.
When I signed the papers, they went wild. Bizzy may be a nurse by trade, but she could have been an interior decorator. My place is exactly what I wanted. There’s a strong masculine presence in every room, but it is comfortable. My favorite places are the balcony and my bedroom. I realize now, it’s because Bizzy put her stamp on every inch of these two places.
My bedroom is devoted to family, with pictures of my life everywhere. The warm colors of the walls and bedding reflect what she calls ‘my style’.
The balcony is a contradiction. The bright cushions on the wicker furniture, alongside the outside bar, are completely out of my comfort zone. There are wall decorations on almost every stucco surface, reminding me of glamorous hotels and resorts. But I find myself drawn to the area mostly because it is a reflection of her.
Now, I stare at the water and try to wrap my head around the thoughts swirling in my mind. Since the day in my office and the night at Bizzy’s house, something inside me changed. I can’t stop thinking about her. She consumes my thoughts. I go back ten years, remembering every occasion we’ve shared and how much she means to me. It boggles my mind that I’ve never realized it before now. I’ve always loved her in some way, but those feelings exploded into a new raw need the second her lips touched mine. Suddenly, I was seeing the sweet, little Bizzy as more.
My vision cleared in that moment. This woman is perfect in every way, and I want her to be mine.
It may have been a mistake, but I didn’t think twice. Inviting her with me to St. Petersburg was a natural reaction. Then I remember the look of panic on her face. It wasn’t exactly comforting, and I started to doubt my decision.
I swallow the amber liquid and remember how she shivered at my touch. I knew it was overstepping our usual lines of friendship the way I gripped her shoulders. It was an act of intimacy, more than we’d ever shared before. I was two seconds away from spinning her to me so I could see if she was as affected as I was. Luckily, her tremble was the encouragement I needed.
I’m thinking about things, wondering if ‘we’ can ever be a possibility. These are the same things that should scare any sane bachelor into hysterics.
Her in my house…
Her in my life…
Her in my bed…
My hands knotted in her hair as I kiss her until she’s moaning my name…
My body pressed against hers, feeling her shiver at my touch… again…
“FUCK!” I hiss into the night and drain the glass. I need to get my shit together. This is dangerous. Bizzy is family. She deserves a man who will provide her a lifetime of happiness. A man who will worship her for her beauty and spirit.
Can I be that man?
My phone rings, and I close my eyes as her sweet smile fills my screen. Karma is testing me tonight.
“Hello.”
“Hey, Shaw.” She’s quiet, too quiet.
“Bizzy, you okay?”
“Yes, I, um, I’m actually in the parking garage. I see your car, but didn’t want to interrupt in case you had company or you were busy… or you wanted to be alone,” she rambles.
“I’m never too busy for you. Get your ass up here.” I drop the phone and go to my front door, opening it to watch for her. When the elevator opens and she steps out, my pulse starts to race. She’s in her scrubs, and I realize she must be working tonight. Even in the ridiculous bright material with some sort of dancing bears, she still steals my breath.
“Hey.” She hesitates and leans in for a quick hug, backing away too quickly.
I put my hand to her back and lead her into the living room. She plunks down on the sofa and tosses her keys and phone to the side.
“Sorry to barge in on you.”
“You’re always welcome here. That’s why you have a key,” I remind her.
“It’s Friday night. I didn’t want to interrupt you.”
“You’re never an interruption. You know this. But I sense something’s going on. You okay?”
“No!” She throws her hands in the air and sinks back. “Gail called me today. She gave me our schedule for next weekend.”
“Okay.” I try to hide my amusement because I knew to expect this.
“I think she has me set up as your date for the whole weekend.”
“She should, being as I told her to include you in everything.”
“I thought I was tagging along.”
“You are never a tag along. I want to give you a mini-vacation.”
“But this is your business.”
“You have to eat, too. Surely, a few dinners won’t cramp your style.”
She narrows her eyes and gives me a dirty look. “You’re being smug. I know I have to eat, but I’ll be a nervous wreck with your clients.”
“You’re best friends with a top quarterback in the NFL. You’ve been around professional athletes for years, most of them eating out of your hands within a few minutes of knowing you. What’s the problem?”
“I’m not sure this is a good idea. I feel like a fifth wheel, honestly.”
Shit, she’s going to try to back out.
“Sweetheart, forget the dinners. You want to stay in and get room service, do it. I won’t be offended. Come with me. Get away for a few days. I’ve got a two-bedroom suite. You don’t even have to hang out with me.”
I say the words and taste the acid in my mouth. There’s nothing I want more than to be away with her for four days.
“I love hanging out with you. I just feel weird about this.”
Finally, I realize I can’t push anymore. She has to make the decision.
“It’s up to you, babe. If you want to back out, I’ll understand.”
Fuck, don’t let her back out.
She purses her lips and stays quiet. Then she inhales deeply and flings her head back, focusing on the ceiling. “You’re amazing, you know that? What time do we leave next Thursday?”
My heart beats double time, and I fight the impulse to raise my arms in victory.
“I’ll have a car pick you up around five.”
She grabs her phone and keys and comes to me, throwing her arms around my waist and her head against my chest. “Thank you, Shaw. I’m excited.
”
“Me too,” I agree, even though excited is an understatement. The next six days can’t pass quickly enough.
“I have to go. I’m working all weekend. We have a nurse out sick.”
“Mathis on this weekend?”
“Sunday night. We’re going to try to grab dinner.”
Jealousy spikes in my blood. What the hell is wrong with me? She and my brother eat together all the time.
“You get hungry, you get sad, you need anything… you call me.”
She raises her head and locks eyes with me. A smile spreads across her lips. “I will.”
I reluctantly follow her to the door and watch until the elevator closes. Then I walk back to my patio and pour a full glass of whiskey and stare at the ocean, wondering what the fuck I’m going to do.
There’s a buzz around the office, knowing I’m meeting with three of the most sought after clients in the state over the next few days. My boss, who basically leaves me alone, has stopped by twice today to wish me luck. Even with everyone’s enthusiasm, I can’t seem to think about anything but Bizzy.
She’s texted or called me every day, mentioning something else she’s excited about. A long time ago, Nick told me her family used to do vacations every year until she got sick. The bills piled up and vacations became scarce. Her parents, Rory and Tom, got back on their feet, but the days of family getaways were over.
So, with her growing excitement, I asked Gail to make sure Bizzy had anything and everything she wanted. Spa treatments, a private cabana, whatever made her smile. There was no way to miss Gail’s approving smile as she promised to take care of it.
“Crenshaw,” Gail buzzes through the phone, and I roll my eyes at her continuous use of my formal name.
“Yes?”
“Your brother’s on his way up.”
“Which one?”
“The smart one.”
I howl in laughter and glance at her through the glass. She gives me a wink then points to Mathis walking our way. He kisses her quickly on the cheek, and she motions for him to come in. I sit back in my seat and wait for him to lie down on the sofa as he usually does after a long shift. Instead, he sits in a chair opposite me and crosses his arms. His face is almost unreadable except for the tick in his jaw. It’s a surefire sign he’s pissed.
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