“You’d better. Now come here and give me a hug before you leave. I’ve got reading to do.”
Drew bent over the bed to hug the older woman and then gathered Dixie in his arms. “See you soon.”
The woman shook her head. “We’ll see. Choose to be happy, Drew.”
They said their goodbyes and Beth and Drew left with Dixie. As they walked down the hallway, Beth said, I’ve never heard ‘Choose to be happy’ as part of a leave-taking.”
“Mrs. O always does that. She says that happiness is a choice and that she wished she had realized that much earlier in her life. So that’s what she tells everyone when they leave her room. The nurses think it’s cute. I figure it’s probably good advice. She says that when you get as old as she is, you better say what you really think. Whether you tell people you love them or hate them, you don’t have time to beat around the bush anymore.”
“That sounds like something she would say. She’s certainly very forthright.” Beth took his hand and swung it back and forth between them. “So now that your little dog has charmed most of the residents of this building, can I make you dinner again tonight?”
“I should take this charming little dog home, Beth. Maybe another time.”
Beth lowered her gaze, feigning interest in the industrial carpeting. What had happened? Had she done something wrong? Something had distressed Drew and he clearly was not planning to divulge whatever it was this evening. So much for getting all her questions answered. Apparently, it was going to be a lonely night in her arctic childhood bedroom.
The next day Beth resolved to get through more of the items on her mother’s to-do list. Linda reappeared and spent the day sorting books. The woman was so quiet, half the time Beth forgot she was there. It was sort of odd, but peaceful, since Linda seemed to dislike small talk as much as Beth did. Two extremely shy people didn’t make a lot of noise.
Beth took Arlo to the vet and closed the store early to pick him up, mentally apologizing to her mother for her many failures as a retailer. It had gotten so cold outside that it wasn’t as if customers were lining up to buy books anyway. The main street of town was largely devoid of pedestrians. People were obviously hunkering down, waiting for the weather to warm up. Late winter weather was nothing if not capricious.
At the vet clinic, Dr. Cassidy had asked a lot of questions about Arlo’s environment to determine if he was experiencing undue stress. Beth told the woman about her mother’s accident, but opted not to mention that there also had been a strange man in the house. It seemed wise to omit that detail, lest the entire town find out about Beth’s evening with Drew. It was Alpine Grove after all, and discretion was always an advisable course of action.
The veterinarian had not found anything conclusive, but gave Beth a new medication to try. Maybe it would help. After Beth got back to the house with Arlo, all she could think about was talking to Drew and finding out what was going on. She’d been fretting about it all day.
Exhausted from his veterinary ordeal, Arlo stalked off to his bed and curled up into a ball to pout. Beth sat on the sofa and stared at the telephone. This was absurd. She was a grown woman who had managed an entire department at RTP. Why was she behaving like an adolescent again? Maybe being in this house caused her to lapse into her teenage patterns of social angst. She pushed her hair behind her ear and dialed the number to Mrs. Oliphant’s house. At least she wouldn’t have to talk to a churlish receptionist. The phone rang fourteen times before Drew finally picked up.
“Hi Drew. I’m glad you’re home.”
“Yeah, I’m here. I have got to buy an answering machine for this place.”
“Are you in ‘do not disturb’ mode again? Are you writing?”
“No.”
Beth twisted the phone cord in her fingers. His voice sounded odd. “I was, well, hoping I could see you. It seemed like something was bothering you yesterday.”
“It’s not worth worrying about, Beth.”
Beth paused. She knew what was going on. “Drew, it’s me you’re talking to. I know what you’re doing. You’ve retreated into the dark recesses of Gollum’s lair again, haven’t you?”
“You know, sometimes it’s just plain annoying that you knew me in high school. Yeah, I suppose. So what? Don’t you have something else you need to do?”
Beth leaned forward and put her elbows on her knees. “You haven’t left the house all day, have you?”
“Dixie and I visited the backyard quite a few times. Does that count?”
“No. It doesn’t. Did you get out of bed and get dressed this morning?”
There was a pause and he mumbled, “Well, sort of, I guess.”
“’Sort of’ means no, you did not. You need to take a shower and greet the new day, which is now almost over. I’ll make you dinner. Can you be here in an hour?”
After another long pause, he finally said, “All right. But if Dixie chews up more of your mom’s furniture, it’s your own dang fault.”
“I’ll see you soon.”
Beth set to work in the kitchen while Arlo supervised closely, his indignation about the vet visit seemingly forgotten. She chopped vegetables and considered the conversation with Drew. He had a tendency to retreat from things he didn’t want to deal with, preferring to avoid confrontation by sleeping or reading. The summer they were together, Drew had disappeared from her life after a particularly awful fight with his father. Beth had been beside herself with worry because in the days leading up to the parental strife, he and Beth had spent almost every possible moment together.
As it turned out, Drew had been in his bedroom the entire time, which she had discovered when she finally gave up on calling and got up the nerve to go over to his house. There she had found him unshaven, unwashed, and extremely unhappy. After talking with her about the argument, he returned to his typical easygoing behavior. He referred to it as emerging from Gollum’s lair, and Beth hoped the same thing would happen again today.
At the knock on the door, Arlo jumped up and ran to the door, barking like a wild thing. Beth followed and let in Drew, who was carrying Dixie. His hair was wet and he had obviously just shaved. Closing the door behind him, he put Dixie down and shook his head. “I hope you’re happy. My hair is now a bunch of icicles that are dripping down my neck.”
Beth put her arms around him and kissed away some of the droplets. “I’m not going to apologize. It’s good to see you.” She nibbled his earlobe for emphasis.
“That’s good to hear. Maybe coming over wasn’t such a bad idea after all.”
She took his hand and led him into the kitchen. “Please bring the canines in here. I was hoping I could talk to you while I finish making dinner.”
With a dubious look, he complied. “Come on Dix, let’s go. No sofa-leg snacking for you today.”
“Do you want the rest of the wine? You forgot to take it with you. It needs to be finished and the bottle removed before my mother returns.”
“All right.”
Beth poured a tumbler of wine, set the sauce on the stove to simmer, and sat down at the bistro table across from Drew. Handing him the glass, she looked into his eyes. “Tell me what happened.”
He took a sip of wine. “When?”
“I don’t know. You tell me. What caused you to retreat to Gollum’s lair? Something happened. What was it?”
“Do we really have to talk about this?”
Beth nodded emphatically. “Yes, we really do.”
“Fine.” He paused for a moment then waved his hand. “Sometimes the whole being connected thing is depressing, you know? I thought I’d have a few weeks before I’d hear anything about the novel. But no. My cast-iron editor is e-mailing me her thoughts as she goes through the manuscript.”
Beth raised her eyebrows. “You mean she doesn’t like it? I find that hard to believe.”
“Believe it. She hates it. Just hates it.” He leaned forward and put his elbows on the table. “Wait ‘til she gets to the part where I killed off
Liz. Jeez, that woman is gonna blow a gasket.”
“Well, you can revise it. That’s part of the process, right?”
“Yeah. But it’s going to be agonizing. The whole thing kinda makes me feel sick, just thinking about it. Writing it was bad enough. I’ve never had this much trouble writing anything before. It was horrible.”
Beth put her hand on his across the table and locked her gaze with his. “Is there any way I can help?”
Both of them jumped at the jarring sound of the telephone ringing. Beth leaped out of her chair. “Just a minute.”
Beth tried not to gasp when she realized that it was Graham’s voice at the other end of the line. She glanced at Drew, who was staring disconsolately down at his wine glass. “Oh, ah, what a surprise to hear from you. I thought perhaps you had lost my mother’s number.”
Graham chuckled. “I’m not quite the absent-minded professor you say I am, you know. I have it right here in my day planner. You should know that.”
“Ah yes. And yet you didn’t call once the last time I was here. Unfortunately, this is not an…an ideal time for me to talk. I’m in the middle of making dinner right now.”
“You sound unaccountably disturbed, Beth. I thought your mother was on a trip and you were there by yourself. Just you and the dog.”
“Yes, Arlo is right here.” She waved her hand at the sheltie for emphasis, “Right Arlo?” Arlo and Dixie jumped up and began barking in unison, the older dog’s deeper barks mingling with Dixie’s high-pitched yips.
Graham said in a stern voice. “Who else is there? I’m not stupid Beth. That’s two dogs. Not one. Are you keeping things from me?”
Beth scowled as white-hot anger flashed. She said sharply, “Keeping things from you? How dare you even ask me that?”
Drew looked up at Beth with concern and mimed, “Who is that?”
Beth shook her head at him and turned around. “It’s honestly quite astonishing that you finally opted to call. But your timing is atrocious. I really must go.” She hung up the phone and walked back to the table. “I’m sorry about that.”
“So I’m guessing you haven’t told the guy in Tucson about our little game of Monopoly, have you?”
“No. I haven’t talked to him until now.”
Drew crossed his arms in front of his chest. “Yeah, I kinda wondered if you would forget to mention it. Might as well get back at him for a little while first, right?”
“No. Frankly, I haven’t thought about him at all. I’ve been worried about you.”
“Don’t bother, Beth. We both know it’s only a matter of time before you’ll get angry about something and lay into me again.” He bent to pick up Dixie and looked at Beth. “And to be honest, I can’t stand to go through that again at this point in my life. Seeing you has made that really clear to me. I can’t. And I won’t.”
Beth stood up. “What are you talking about? Being together has been extraordinary. I’ve missed you so much.”
Cuddling Dixie to his chest he said, “I missed you too. But I was right before. This isn’t going to work. When you almost tore into me again the other day in the dining room, I knew it for sure. You told me you were close to telling me off again. And I don’t need that. You kicked me to the curb once Beth, and I have no reason to believe you won’t do it again. I’m just a fun diversion until you get your real life straightened out and start going places again.”
Beth grabbed his arm. “No Drew, that’s not true at all. Don’t go. Can’t we talk about this?”
“I don’t feel like talking anymore. That poor old dead horse has been beaten enough. Dixie and I need to get back home so I can figure out how in the name of all that is holy I can turn the gigantic cow pie that is my novel into something that won’t send my editor to the nuthouse.”
“Drew, stop! Just stop. Please talk to me.” Beth wiped a tear from her cheek. “You always do this. You run away. Just this once, could we please try something different? I promise I will try harder not to get angry.”
He stood motionless, except for a small muscle that twitched in his jaw.
Beth reached out and stroked Dixie’s head. “Look, even your dog is upset.”
Drew looked down at the puppy, whose brown eyes were wide, peering up at him. “Aww jeez, I’m sorry Dix. I’m being a rotten human.”
After Drew sat down again, Beth quietly finished making dinner. She placed a plate in front of him. “Are you over your mad enough to talk yet?”
A corner of his mouth turned up. “Getting there. Food will help. Thanks.”
They ate in silence and took the dogs outside for a short walk. Beth held Drew’s arm and leaned her head on his shoulder, huddling against the cold as they waited for Arlo to finish. “The vet gave me some new medication for Arlo. She also said he might have been stressed about things going on in his life.”
“Aren’t we all?”
Beth smiled. “Well, at least you are gainfully employed.”
“For the moment. If my editor has any say, I’m thinking the odds of another six-book contract might be dwindling.”
She rubbed his arm. “It will be okay, Drew.”
“Unless we freeze to death. Is he done yet? Glaciers move faster than this animal.”
They went back inside and Beth made a fire in the fireplace while Drew ensconced Dixie in her crate. The little dog curled up into a small brown fuzzy ball in a back corner, obviously ready to settle in for the evening.
Drew sat down on the sofa and Beth pulled his arm around her, so she could lean back on his chest. She squeezed his hand. “Are you ready to talk?”
“Yeah, I suppose. If we have to.”
She turned in his arms and reached out to stroke his cheek. “First off, I’m sorry about the call tonight. I promise I will call him back at a more appropriate time and tell him it is over.”
Drew readjusted himself on the couch, so he could see her face. “Beth, what are you saying? I mean, you’re not dumping the guy because of me, are you?”
“Not specifically. It’s more like I’m doing something I should have done a long time ago. Despite all the evidence staring me in the face, I resisted the idea that Graham was wrong for me. I was convinced that he was mature and responsible and that’s what I needed. So I continued in a strange limbo state, assuming things with him would get better.”
Drew shook his head. “Isn’t this all sorta sudden?”
“I suppose to you it is. But I’ve been pretending everything was okay for a long time. I’m not sure why. It seems my powers of denial are truly quite exceptional. Maybe seeing you woke me up to that. I don’t know. But I was serious when I said that being with you again has been an amazing experience.”
“Yeah, but I was serious too. Do you honestly think we have any kind of future together?” He took her hand. “I mean, I thought so when I was eighteen, but I was unbelievably naive. Not to mention seriously wrong, which you explained in excruciating detail at the time. I don’t really see how anything with us would ever work. That’s part of what has been bugging me.”
Beth squeezed his hand. “Why not?”
“Well, you’d get angry and then I’d leave and go somewhere. Then you’d hunt me down and try to kill me. It would be a big story in the Alpine Grove newspaper. “Valedictorian dismembers failed novelist.” I’d end up just another Cedar County murder statistic.”
Beth turned to look at him. “Oh Drew, you’re exaggerating. It’s not that bad.”
“The word volatile leaps to mind. I mean, you’re a passionate person, which in certain contexts is pretty fantastic. But I’m not sure we could even live in the same house for more than a day.” He grinned. “Unless we spent most of the day in bed, in which case, no problem.”
She smiled in response. “Spending the day in bed does sound delicious, so I certainly can’t argue that point. But what if we try an experiment? You could stay here for a few nights. Then I won’t have to wonder if you’ve disappeared again. And you can tell me about your my
sterious past that you continue to avoid discussing, so I can stop inventing things and getting angry based on your prior adolescent behavior. I’d really like to find out more about who you are now.”
“All right. But you, in turn, will have to work on not getting angry about every single little thing that goes wrong. Because if you live with me, things will go wrong and you will remember some unpleasant realities like I am a slob and really not a morning person. I’m sure you’ll discover a whole host of other habits you won’t like either. I am a lot of things, but perfect sure isn’t one of them.”
“I think I need to stop striving for perfection. Mrs. O is right. Happiness is a more realistic goal.” Beth kissed him. “And right now, I am happy being here with you.”
“Me too, Bethie. I suppose it can’t hurt to try.”
The next morning, Beth got up early so she could make her phone call to Graham. Although he had gotten up to take Dixie out multiple times throughout the night, true to his word, Drew rolled over and mumbled, “Go away” when she asked if he was ready to greet the day at seven thirty in the morning.
Beth knew Graham would already be in his office trying to get a head-start on projects, so it was a good time to call, before anyone else was there. She dialed the number, which went directly to Graham, since his assistant didn’t arrive until eight. After she greeted him, he said curtly, “My, aren’t you up early? I see you managed to fit me into your busy schedule after hanging up on me last night.”
“Yes. This is a courtesy call to let you know that I don’t want to see you again after I return to Tucson. You also are relieved of any further calling obligations.”
There was a long pause, and finally Graham said, “Is this your way of breaking up? You have got to be kidding, Beth.”
“Not at all. I truly do not ever want to see you again.”
“I knew it. You weren’t alone last night, were you? Did you find some yokel up there in the trees? So I was right—you are cheating on me. Nice, Beth. Really classy.”
“No Graham. No yokels.” Beth gazed out the kitchen window, where a small mountain chickadee was flitting around in a bush. “And your comment is quite ironic, because I was talking to someone about you and realized a truth. All those rumors that have been circulating around campus are valid. I’ve had every indication that you were cheating but refused to open my eyes. The most painful thing, I think, is that you undermined my trust, underestimated me, and clearly think I’m stupid. You never thought I’d find out because you are utterly convinced that you are so much smarter than I am.”
Bark to the Future (An Alpine Grove Romantic Comedy Book 5) Page 18
