The truth was Stacey had mentioned something, but all my attention was on Eloise. I hadn’t listened closely enough, or at all. Had she said the words Dr. Stone and Dr. Winters? Everything was fuzzy and blurry with Logan this close to me. With Logan in the same room.
It had been five years. Five fucking years since I had seen that sexy as sin smile.
“Maybe it’s best if we drive into Denver,” I suggested. He was holding Eloise’s file. My world was about to implode.
Could I grab it from him and run? Could I throw it in a shredder or light it on fire? Shit. Shit. Shit.
“Come on, Cass. You don’t need to drive to Denver. How can I help? Who is this little girl?” His tone had softened. Maybe he was as shocked as I was right now. It didn’t help that I started off with my back arched like an angry cat.
My eyes shot to our daughter and my stomach flipped. Could he see it? Did he see his brown eyes in hers? Did he notice the way the crinkled her forehead the way he did?
“She’s my daughter,” I blurted. I wanted to throw up. This was a nightmare. Something I dreamed could happen, but wasn’t possibly true.
Logan was here. Logan was here. Should I pinch myself?
He stared at me. “You have a daughter? I didn’t know.”
“That’s me,” Eloise squeaked. “That’s my mommy.” Eloise pointed at me with a chubby finger.
He chuckled. “Of course she is, sweetheart.” He moved to examine her. “It’s been a while since I had a patient under six feet tall,” he joked. “How are you feeling today?” he asked.
Eloise shook her head. I held my breath as the two of them talked. This was not happening. I had to stop it. I had to do something. But Eloise was already enchanted by him. I could see it in her expression. What girl wasn’t? He was insanely good looking and a constant flirt. Women used to fall at his feet when we were in college. It was both annoying and flattering. They would look at me like they wanted to claw my eyes out, and yet they were impressed he was mine.
“Hmm.” I stared as Logan felt her glands, running his hands under her jaw.
“She has a pretty high fever too,” I added, watching in horror and fascination.
“Has she had any Tylenol this morning?” he asked. “Stacey didn’t mention it.”
I shook my head. “I thought I should wait in case she needed a prescription or something.”
“That was smart.” He pulled the stethoscope to his ears, placing the end on El’s chest.
“Take a big breath for me and hold it,” he instructed.
El was shy around the other doctors in the office, but with Logan she smiled and did everything he asked. I didn’t have to bribe her with ice cream. I was stunned. She was under his spell. The same damn Logan Stone spell I had fallen for.
“What are her other symptoms?” he asked.
I didn’t want to tell him anything, as if that would suddenly reveal her paternity, but I was being ridiculous. We were here because she needed help. The quicker he examined her, the quicker I could whisk my baby girl out of her daddy’s reach.
“She complained about a sore throat last night and now she has this fever. Everything was worse this morning,” I explained. “I’m worried it might be strep. I heard it’s going around her class.”
He nodded, stepping back from her. I still couldn’t relax. “We’ll test her for strep and the flu.” He jotted something on El’s chart. Did he just order a DNA test on top of the other two? My hands shook. My knees were going to give out if I didn’t get my shit together.
“Are you and Caleb opening another practice, or are you staying in Evans Mill?” I asked, trying to sound as nonchalant as I could. I had to focus on something else and keep him distracted.
“Back for good,” he answered, grinning. “It was a large investment. He and I want to help the community. It was time for Dr. Nichols to retire. I think we can help bring the town up to speed. Bring in new treatments.”
“So you’ll be working here all the time?”
“That is the plan.” He raised a dark brow at me. “Is that going to be a problem?” he asked, waiting for me to move out of his way.
“It’s just. We really liked Dr. Nichols. Eloise can be pretty particular and shy. He’s the only doctor she’s ever seen.”
“If you don’t feel comfortable with this you can see Caleb. Dr. Winters. Or, if you prefer, I can recommend some pediatricians in Denver. I don’t think anyone will be able to see you today. I can talk to Caleb.”
Why should Eloise and I haul our asses out of town to run from him? He was the one that left. Maybe I needed to prove to him this wasn’t a big deal. Switching doctors made me look suspicious. I had to play this cooler. I could do this.
“I didn’t know if you’d stick around. That’s all.” I narrowed my eyes.
“Cass,” he said with a heavy sigh.
“No.” I put my hand up to interrupt him. “I shouldn’t have said anything. Let’s just get the tests done so I can get Eloise home to rest.”
He nodded. “Whatever you want.”
Three
Logan
My heart hit the ground at Cassie’s harsh words. I didn’t blame her though. I deserved it. I had been gone five years. I had broken one promise after another. She had every right to hate me.
Every part of this exam was surreal. From the fact I was trapped in a room with a woman I had once been madly in love with, to the fact that she now had a child I knew nothing about. It was disorienting. It threw me off my game.
While I examined her daughter, I glanced at her left hand. No ring. Had she been married and already divorced? Who was this kid’s father? She caught me staring and moved her hand out of view.
“All right, Eloise I’m going to use this little arm band to take your blood pressure. It's going to squeeze like a big bear hug.”
I didn’t want to call Stacey in to do the remainder of her work up. I wanted these minutes with Cassie. I wanted to know what I had missed all these years. I wanted to put together whatever scraps she would give me.
“Okay,” the little girl answered, extending her arm.
She didn’t seem that shy and timid to me.
“You want to tell me if anything hurts?”
“I told you,” Cassie snapped. “She has a sore throat, cough, and a fever.”
I turned to face Cassie for a second. I never forgot her fiery temper. “Should I continue? Or call Dr. Winters in?”
Cassie exhaled. “I’m sorry. It’s just everything is unexpected.” She smiled grimly at her daughter. “Let’s get this over with.”
This was awkward as hell. We shouldn’t be meeting like this. And not in front of her kid. There was too much between us. Too much history to pretend like I could play doctor and everything was normal. This was not fucking normal.
“I’m going to look at your throat,” I explained to Eloise. “Say ahh.”
There was one thing about this little girl I knew right away. She was like a little cherub. Sweet. Wide-eyed. And I had yet to see her mother’s temper. I shone the light at the back of her throat. Her tonsils were swollen and her throat was inflamed.
“Hmm.”
“What? What is it?” Cassie asked.
She didn’t trust me. Not with her daughter. I knew she prickled every time I touched the kid.
“She’s definitely uncomfortable. I think we take the swab and wait to see if it’s strep.”
“She’s never had strep,” Cassie whispered.
I resisted the urge to touch her. I wanted to put my hand on her shoulder, but she was already on edge. “It’s not anything you did. Kids get strep. It happens all the time.”
“Swab?” Eloise asked.
“Yes. It’s only a little cotton ball on the end of a stick. It won't hurt. Might tickle a little. It will rule out any bad germs,” I explained.
I wheeled over to the small desk with the computer to type in the strep and flu swab order.
“Why don’t I take care of th
ese instead of waiting on Stacey?” I suggested.
Cassie relented. I took the two swabs and quickly as possible. Eloise made a funny face, but I had what I needed.
“I’ll be back in a few minutes with the results.” I shoved the two swabs in separate tubes and headed out.
I walked to the small lab where we did our basic tests. It wouldn’t take more than five minutes to get the results. It seemed like an eternity while I waited.
“I heard Cassie Coleman’s in the office,” I heard my best friend call around the corner. Caleb was back in his office.
The door was open and was directly across the hall from the lab. I leaned out to look through the two open doors to find him at his desk writing something.
“I thought you were going to lunch?”
He shrugged his shoulders. “There’s too much fucking work to do. Nichols left this place a nightmare.”
“I know.” I shook my head, sitting in the seat across from Caleb. “I wish we could hire another doctor.”
“Maybe in six months,” he added. “So Cassie?”
I ran my hands through my hair. “She has a daughter. Did you know that? A little girl is in there.”
“Holy fuck,” Caleb whispered.
“I can’t get over it. I can’t talk to her because of the kid. And Cassie is pissed. I mean livid. If she could, she’d probably throw the entire medical tray at me.” I groaned. “I get it. I bailed. I said I would come back and I didn’t. Did you know Cassie moved back home after college?”
“No. I didn’t.”
I rubbed my beard. “I just assumed she was in Denver. Her parents are there. Why move back to Evans Mills?”
“How old is she?” Caleb interrupted.
I stared at him. “You know Cassie and I are the same age. We all graduated together. She’s 27.”
“Good God, man. The kid. How old is the kid?”
“I think her chart said four. Maybe she’s five.” I closed my eyes. “Cassie doesn’t even want to look at me. How am I going to talk to her when she’s like this?”
“Logan.” His voice was sharp.
“Dr. Stone, your results are ready.” Stacey popped her head in Caleb’s office.
“Thanks.” I rose from the seat. I knew Cassie would be anxious to get them.
“Logan, you need to talk to Cassie about that girl.”
I waved him off. “No. I know what you’re thinking. And just no. I’m not the dad. Cassie wouldn’t keep something like that.” I had dismissed the thought as soon as I had had it. I wasn’t going there.
“Brother, it’s worth a question, or a DNA test,” he added. “She’s four. It adds up.”
“She’s not mine.” I strolled to the door. “Cass had a life after me.” I think that was the part that hurt the most. Like a knife between my ribs. I hadn’t expected to see her in Evans Mill. I sure as hell didn’t expect to see her in my office. But to know she had moved on. That there had been another man. I had to push it out and far away.
“You’re being a fucking idiot, Logan. Get a paternity test.”
I pretended not to hear the last part as I left. I walked into the lab and picked up the test results. Caleb was just fucking with me. Eloise wasn’t mine. Cassie wouldn’t have my baby and not tell me.
My hand landed on the door to the exam room. Would she do that? Was she angry enough to keep my baby from me?
“They’re waiting, Dr. Stone,” Stacey reminded me. “That mom has already been out here twice looking for you.”
“Right.” I nodded. I pushed open the door.
Cassie jumped off the table. “Well? What do the tests say?” Her face was covered in worry.
“Good news.” I faked a smile. “It’s not strep or the flu. Most likely it’s a virus. My prescription is popsicles and TV. She can take Tylenol for the fever.” I scribbled the instructions on my pad of paper and handed it to Cassie.
“I don’t need you to tell me how to be a parent,” Cassie spat back at me. “I know all that. I was hoping you would give me something that actually might help,” she added as she scooped up her purse.
I clenched my jaw. “Sorry, the results were negative. There is nothing else to do. You have to wait it out. Which means,” I said, turning to Eloise and giving her a piece of candy, “lots of couch time and cartoons.”
“Thank you.” She took the hard candy out of my hand.
“We have a little treasure box of stickers and little toys on your way out,” I added to Eloise as I helped her down from the table. “I’d like to have her come back if things get any worse or any new symptoms show up. I’ll have the office cell on me all weekend so if you need anything just call.”
“Okay, sure,” she responded. “Okay, come on, El let’s get you home.”
I wanted to stop her. I wanted to get Cass’s phone number. We needed to talk. But I was at work, and Cass was in no mood. That much I remembered about her. I had to let her cool off before I could approach her.
The little girl took her mom’s hand happily, and I watched the two of them as they strolled out of my office. I felt regret in losing her as I watched Cassie go.
I sat as I took in everything that occurred in that room. I thought about Eloise. I thought about what Caleb had said. I couldn’t believe he suggested she was mine. I flipped over the girl’s chart and skimmed for her birth date. Four. It said she was four-years old. I looked at the month and the day.
I did the math. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.
She was born exactly nine months after I deployed.
That little girl was mine.
Four
Cassie
“How about we get a smoothie on the way home?” I asked my backseat passenger.
I gripped the steering wheel. My knuckles were white. My heart pounded. I couldn’t think. Thank God it was a short drive home. I wanted to dive ninety down the small town streets. Fast and far from Logan.
“Okay,” Eloise answered.
I looked in the rearview mirror to catch a glimpse of Eloise in her high back booster. She had her pink bear lovey wrapped tight in her arm while she fiddled with the tag with one hand. It was a gift from my parents the day she was born. Just this little gift shop toy they picked up on their way in to see their granddaughter for the first time. There wasn’t a night that little pink bear wasn’t at her side now.
“You feeling tired, sweetheart?” I asked.
She merely nodded in response.
“Who was that?”
The question hung in the air. It was Logan. My Logan. The Logan Stone. The man who promised me the world and then splintered it. The man I loved more than anything.
How did I explain that to her? I was supposed to tell Eloise she had just met her father? Damn it. This wasn’t supposed to happen this way. Not today. Not like this.
“Um,” I hesitated. My mind was spinning. “Just a new doctor.”
“He was nice,” she said quietly.
“He was.” I struggled to hide my emotions from her.
Nice wasn’t how I would describe him at all. Seeing Logan again had been a slap across the face. I worked so hard to bury my broken heart after he left. In that one instant, it all come flooding back to me. The richness of his laugh. The way he used to look at me. His kisses. His hands. All of it. I gripped the steering wheel harder.
The other thing that surfaced was rage. How could he have left me? Left us. The more space I put between his new practice and us, the more I wanted to run. I wanted more distance and time. He shouldn’t be here.
A quick trip through a drive-through to get El a fruit smoothie and we were headed back home. I needed time to think and process what had happened.
I couldn’t believe it, but I was already going over that mental list of things I needed to do to leave. How soon could we move away? Would I be able to get a new job? Where would we go?
I carried Eloise up the steps to our small cottage. It was modest and simple, but that worked well for us. We didn’t take up much sp
ace and didn’t need much. I loved our little house. I was where El had said her first words and taken her first steps. The fact that I was thinking about leaving it because of Logan, made the anger pulse harder.
“How about I put on a movie for you, and you can snuggle on the couch?” I asked Eloise.
She quietly nodded her reply not lifting her head from my shoulder.
Settling Eloise on the couch surrounded by her favorite blanket and fluffy pillow I turned on the TV. She would happily watch the same movie a million times, despite the fact she already knew it all by heart.
I walked to the kitchen to make a fresh pot of coffee. Middle-of-the-day wine drinking was probably acceptable under these circumstances, but with a sick little girl I chose coffee instead. I lifted the lid and added several scoops to the filter. I poured cold water into the tank and folded my arms watching the coffee brew. What in the hell was I going to do?
Logan Fucking Stone.
As soon as the machine beeped I poured an oversized mug to the top and stirred in creamer. I had so much shit to figure out. I sat at the bistro table, wondering where to begin.
I jumped when my phone rang. I looked down to see my parents’ number.
“Hi, Mom,” I answered, trying my best to hide a heavy sigh.
“How is Eloise?” she asked.
I had to give it to my mom, even if we didn't have the best relationship she did care for Eloise. She had been an excellent grandmother since the day El was born.
“Still the same, not feeling great,” I reported.
“Did you take her to the doctor like I told you?”
I rolled my eyes. Thank God this wasn’t a video call. “Of course I did.”
“Well, what did they say?” she pestered.
“It’s probably a cold. He took swabs for the flu and strep, and both came back negative.”
“That’s good, isn’t it?”
I took a sip of coffee. “I wish I knew what it was, or that there was something I could give her. That’s all. A virus is just a useless diagnosis.”
Sinful Whispers (An Evans Mill Romance Book 1) Page 2
