by Shey Stahl
It’s easy to see where Tathan’s passion lies. Photography.
It’s in the simple aspects of it too. When the bride says I do. When the groom lifts her veil. When they kiss for the first time as husband and wife. It’s all moments he captures for them, as a little memory in time they will have forever.
“Dance with me?” Tathan says setting his camera down when “Dare To Believe” by Boyce Avenue comes on. A very well placed song and a very well placed question, just when I’m daring to believe he might be someone I can take a chance on.
“Just don’t sing.” I say taking his hand.
He smiles, his hands wrapping around my waist gently, holding me to his chest.
I smile back up at him hooking my hands around his shoulders.
“You know,” he begins as we gently sway and turns his gaze down to me. “I held up my end of the deal.”
“And so I owe you that date now.”
Tathan nods. “You made a deal.”
“Yes, I did.” As we dance, I can’t help but watch my best friend and how happy she is today. All her life she’s waited for this day where she could call Bryan her husband.
I stare at Casey, nearly in tears. “She’s beautiful.”
Tathan leans down and presses his lips to my temple. “You are too.”
My eyes continue to watch them, happy and content as Casey smiles at me nearly in tears.
“Thank you,” she whispers.
Tears collect along the rims of my eyes and I give her a wink and lay my head on Tathan’s chest.
“No, thank you, Casey.” I whisper knowing she can read my lips. If it wasn’t for her I’d probably be at home with Oliver eating Cheerios. Instead I’m daring to believe this deal just may be a good one.
When the dance is over, I pull away and take a few steps back. Tathan reaches over to the table and retrieves his camera. The sun is setting behind me, deep orange hues surround him in his black tux. I raise my hand and touch his chest, just a little feel.
“Pick me up at seven tomorrow.” I tell him and turn so I can’t see his face, literally walking off into the sunset.
Cliché, huh?
I think so too but it’s fitting for the day. When I turn back around, about twenty feet from him, he snaps a photograph of me. Unlike him, I won’t need a photograph to remember this moment. It’s etched on the very fiber of my soul because I am pretty sure I’m so far past the point of no return with Tathan … and it scares the ever living hell out of me.
He doesn’t look at me long and then stares at his camera, studying the image he just took, remembering the moment I assume. I wonder what he sees right then, a man so keen on capturing the true essence of a subject. Does he see me? Does he see exactly what he’s done to me?
I hope that he has.
I had no idea where I wanted to go until Tathan decided for me. He chose an authentic Brazilian restaurant Fogo De Chao Brazilian Steak House. I’d never been there but Casey and Bryan went not too long ago and raved about it for days.
We meet in the hall at the apartments, me in my little black dress that I know he can’t resist.
He was wearing dark slacks and a gray dress shirt with the sleeves rolled up, the relaxed look really worked for him. Did I mention he’s wearing a black tie?
I want to be tied up with it. I want it bound around my wrists while he worships my body before him. Is that too much to ask?
I didn’t think so.
The restaurant is in Scottsdale across town and it doesn’t take too long to get there. It is, however, the first time I’ve ever been in his car. It’s sleek with black leather that smells amazing. By his car, his furnishing and the way he dresses, it’s clear Tathan likes nice things.
He pulls up to the door, the lights dancing across the hood of his car. A man dressed in a black suits reaches for the handle of my door, another for his and we’re both escorted from the car. Tathan hands the man closer to him the keys and then reaches for my hand.
I take it being polite. “You’re trying your best, aren’t you?”
“One needs to be confident around you and it’s my job to protect the pride, right?”
I stifle a laugh.
As we walk inside, we’re greeted by the host. “How may I help you?”
“Reservations for Madsen.” Tathan says leaning into her. There’s something I’ve never noticed about him which I find endearing. When he talks to you, he leans in, as if you have his full attention. He doesn’t do this to flirt. It’s his way of letting you know he cares.
They seat us near the window, white tablecloths cover the round table for two and the place settings are already beautifully arranged. Reminds me of Casey’s wedding last night.
“Have you ever been here?” I ask Tathan, taking in my surroundings.
He nods. “Yeah, Paul took my brothers and I here a couple months ago. We all have dinner about once a month.”
“How long have you done that?”
“Since my parents died.” I hate the sad eyes that drift my way. “It was Paul’s way of continuing my dad’s tradition.”
“You’re dad took you to dinner once a month?”
He nods again and looks over at the waiter as they deliver a bottle of wine to the table. He thanks them and then turns back to me. “It was something he started when we were little. Kind of like a boys’ night, I guess.”
I sigh.
It’s quite the event they have planned for this type of dining experience. First you get your salad which is pretty much a meal in itself with fresh vegetables, imported cheese and sides to choose from. Then when you’re finished with your salad, you turn over this coin on your table to green.
Gaucho chefs wearing light blue shirts with red ties come to your table with fire roasted meats and slice you off pieces. Endless amounts too. Anything you want they pretty much have. When you’re done, you flip the coin to the red side.
I’ve never experienced anything like this and I think Tathan can sense that.
“How’s the Picanha?” Tathan asks taking a sip of his wine watching me closely.
I’m impressed he can say that because I can’t. “Mmmm,” I moan around the tines.
“Don’t moan…”
“Oh, but the pussy is delicious.” My hand immediately flies to my mouth catching myself but it’s too late. I want to die. Stab myself with this very fork.
God, really Amalie? Fucking really? At a nice establishment like this you decide to have word vomit.
“I bet it is,” Tathan says, through laughs.
I hang my head in shame. “I meant to say Picanha. It’s good.”
“It is,” he agrees resting his elbows on the table and leaning in. “Say pussy again.”
“No. Shut up, we’re eating.”
“But if you keep that up, and the moaning, I’m going to test out the sturdiness of this table. Fuck the eating. I’ll eat—”
“Stop. It.” I gasp at his words, though I’m not surprised by them. This boy is dirty.
He shifts in the wooden chair, smiling down at me with a light laughter and changes the subject. “I’m surprised you’ve never been here before. Bryan and Casey were talking about it at their engagement session.”
“They go out to eat a lot.” I shrug reaching for my wine. “I don’t. I have no life and have a dog.”
Tathan laughs remembering Oliver’s hatred toward him. “I really need to get on that dog’s good side.”
“He likes roses.”
“Hmmm.” He gives me a smile, eyes twinkling so bright they make me smile. “I’ll consider that.”
Throughout the evening, it’s an endless supply of food to the point where I can’t even look at my plate any longer.
“I need to get out of these clothes, I can’t breathe,” and I immediately realize my major gaffe.
“I am almost positive that I can help you with that when we get back to the apartment.” Tathan gives me a once over knowing what his words are doing to me.
“Ready?” He asks when the waiter brings back his credit card.
“Yes.”
He watches me as we stand, he eyes roaming over my body letting me know exactly what he’s thinking when they drift close and he groans in my ear as we start to walk toward the door.
“That was some amazing food.” I say, smiling, when we walk outside, the heat of the night assaults my face and for a moment I wish it was cold so I could snuggle against him. “Thank you.”
He looks out at the hills as we wait for his car to be brought around, my arm wrapped in his. “Can I take you somewhere?”
Shrugging, I let him take my hand and lead me. “Where?”
“A place I like to take photos.”
I raise an eyebrow. “Is this a trick to get me in your car so you make out with me and steam up the windows?”
“Maybe.” He smiles, infections and capturing.
“Okay.”
He takes me up to Camelback Mountain, the same place I saw in the photos on his Facebook page. It’s breathtaking up there and makes me wonder how he’s still single.
So I have to ask, “How are you still single?”
Tathan Madsen is nothing like I expected he would be and I may have said that before. But I think it needs to be said again because most won’t see it. I didn’t. The beauty within this man is hard to see by the untrained eye. He’s rare. He’s magnificent and deep. Cherished for his talent behind the lens, what you see in those eyes is an honest man.
He raises an eyebrow at me and bumps my shoulder as we stand in front of his car. “How are you still single?”
I don’t answer because he knows why, which explains a lot right then, something I never considered. I never did find out what happened to those infamous girlfriends Tathan supposedly had. Never did I think he would have experienced what I had. The hurt, the heartache.
“Where’d you catch them at?”
Sad eyes meet mine, honesty there for me. “My bed.”
We don’t say anything more. I don’t even know what to say, or even feel right then. He’s surprising but Tathan doesn’t try to make out with me or even hold me, we just watch the city lights together and stand there in complete silence. Doesn’t even cop a feel.
I find silence comforting. You’re not forcing yourself to say anything and, in turn, you’re relaxed and being yourself. That’s exactly what we are tonight.
Tathan takes my hand in his as we stand there. “I want you to hold my hand.”
“Why?” I laugh, not understanding what he’s getting at.
“Because, I’d hold your hand, but if you’re holding mine, it’s because you want to.”
Do you see that girl right there?
Me. Look at me closely. If you do, you can see the very moment when my heart finally cracks open and realizes just how special this guy is. Never two weeks ago would I have thought that. I would have told you that you were crazy.
He’s staring at me, waiting for my answer so I laugh. “But how is it because I want to, if you tell me to hold it?”
He shrugs. “I wasn’t demanding that you hold it.” I take his hand anyway and look out at the city. “I was just hoping you would.”
He smiles at me again.
Around ten Tathan takes us back to our apartments. We walk in silence, smiling every once in a while because I think at this point he knows I’m going to invite him in. How can I not? He held my hand.
Outside my door was a basket with the words: Muff’s Magic Mate, thanks to Zane.
He sucks. I refuse to acknowledge it was even there.
Tathan laughs just as I thought he would.
I keep my eyes on the wall. “You want to come in?”
I told myself that I wouldn’t invite him in. The Force left me long ago but I don’t want to sell out and give in on the first date. But there was only this, so I was most certainly giving in.
He steps forward, his eyes on the basket and then slowly, they drift my way. My gaze falls to our hands when he knots our fingers together as my back meets my door. “I’m dying to come in.”
I kick the basket inside the door to face Tathan, Oliver jumping around between our feet.
When we get inside, we both stand there.
“I don’t know what I have to do to show you how I feel,” he steps forward, pushing me against the wall. “I don’t think you’ve ever had a man be there for you because he wanted to be.”
I shake my head. I was breaking ... fast and he knew it. “I have to take Oliver outside.”
“I don’t think you’ve ever had a man want to be here just to be with you. I want to be. I want to be that guy, let me be him.”
Like the amazing moments he captures that tell a story all their own, he has a way with words that can break every emotional tie that you’ve been holding onto and wrap you in this sense of serenity and warmth.
I only nod and he closes the distance between us, pressing his lips to mine. It’s tender at first, matching his words and then the desire roots itself in our movements. One hand secures my face to his. We continue for a moment before I decide what I want. Him. In my bed. Now.
Only Oliver has other ideas and pees on Tathan’s foot.
I know what Oliver is thinking. “Get your face off my mommy, you sadistic son of a bitch!”
Tathan senses the wetness right away and pulls back to look down at Oliver, glaring. Any other man probably would have kicked the dog for something like that. Not Tathan. He wasn’t happy but he didn’t do anything to Oliver but glare. “He hates me.”
I don’t even look, my shoulder’s shake with laughter. “I told you he had to pee.”
“Okay ...” Tathan raises his hand to touch my face. “I’m going to go shower. And I’m leaving my apartment unlocked. I hope that you come over after taking care of him.”
Just invite him into your bed ... you know you want to.
“Do you want to ...” I gesture down the hall, my lips still pressed to his, “Take a shower here?”
I can’t believe I suggested that. Actually, yes I can.
“Are you going to kick me out again?” He raises a questioning eyebrow.
“No.”
I wasn’t one of those girls who needed to wait to have sex, if I wanted it, I wanted it ... and, oh, did I want it.
He looks down at me through his long lashes but there is a certain amount of honesty in that look. He’s not hiding where he wants this to go. Where he hopes this will go. It’s very sexy and he knows it. With one step, he comes in line with my body, his hands on my hips drawing me into him. I moan, and his mouth clamps down on my neck, taking a hard sucking bite, as goose bumps shiver across my skin. “I don’t have any clothes here.”
He says that as if it’s a problem.
“Well,” I shake my head slowly pulling back to look into his eyes. “You won’t need clothes.”
He groans and I feel the hardness pressing against my stomach, gripping my ass with his firm hands. He’s getting distracted.
“Tathan?”
“Yes.” His lips linger on my heated skin struggling to get closer.
“You stink.”
“Got it.” He laughs, his voice rough. “Shower time.” Before he walks away, he whispers in my ear. “Join me?”
“No. I can’t because I… I just can’t.” I wave him away and pick up Oliver. “Go shower.”
I can’t because I know what’s going to happen in that shower. We’ll get caught up in the moment and I want him in my bed where I remember it. So no shower.
When he disappears down the hall, I look down at Oliver as he continues to growl. “You have to stop peeing on him, buddy.”
He cocks his head at me, as if I’m joking, and then wiggles, as if I’m rewarding him.
I don’t want Oliver to see any of this so I sneak next door and drop him off at Jade’s apartment after making him go potty again. Outside this time. “I have to work at midnight.” Jade yells back, half dressed and hanging out her apartment with Oli
ver in her arms.
I wave to her on my way back to mine. “I’ll be back soon.”
When I get back to my apartment, I glance down the hall to my bedroom and then the bathroom next to it.
Come on, he’s naked. I know where this night is going so what’s the harm in peeking?
Nothing at all.
When I crack the door slightly, he’s standing there in a towel, wet hair and water dripping off him. I have to hold onto the handle when my eyes take in his half naked body in the lighting of my bathroom. Flushed skin, muscles everywhere, dark hair, it’s breathtaking really.
Just rip the towel away.
Before I can, he grabs the handle of the door and yanks it open and then grabs my hand pulling me into him, slams my bathroom door shut and has me pinned against it.
“That was fast.” I look up at him, my dark hair falling in my face with a little roughness.
“With you waiting on me,” he reaches up and cups my cheek, his other hand brushing the hair away from my face. “I didn’t want to waste any time.”
“Fine by me.” His lips find mine, rough with an undeniable need that has me gasping into his mouth. I can feel his erection right then, and I wiggle, frustrated that I just need just a small amount of friction strategically placed in just the right spot. He does too.
“Jesus Christ, Amalie.” His head drops to my shoulder, a slight tremble to his muscles when our lips part.
He groans again, his hips pressing against mine harder, with more determination to show me exactly where this is going.
“Bed,” I say, frustrated. “We need a bed.”
He nods, never parting his lips from my skin and moves us from the bathroom to my room.
We land on the bed with a thud. By what’s pressing firmly between my legs, Tathan wants this just as much but I sense the hesitation. He pulls back and sits up on his knees leaving me lying on the bed with my legs spread. It’s slow as he removes my panties, his large hands lingering over every curve leaving my skin pebbling in their wake.
He sees the flush in my cheeks, which has nothing to do with embarrassment but just that my blood pressure is rising when his breath blows out over my face. “Are you embarrassed?”
