by Wendi Wilson
My brain searches for words, a comeback, something coy or charming, but my mind won’t work. Before I can think of anything, Bryce straightens, pulling his arm from around me. I let my eyes drift to his lap, where he now has both hands gripped into fists on his thighs. I lift my eyes to his face. He’s staring straight ahead, his eyebrows pulled down and a frown marring his face. I can see a nerve ticking in his jaw as if he is clenching and grinding his back teeth.
I glance over at Ana, who is writing with a slight smile curving her lips. I let my hand drop to my side and softly snap in her direction. Keeping my hand low, I point my thumb in Bryce’s direction when she looks over. Ana leans back in her chair, stretching her arms over her head, and looks at Bryce. The smile slips from her face as she sees his rigid posture and expression.
Leaning forward, she mouths, “What happened?” while brushing her hand up and down her own arm. I roll my eyes. Of course, she noticed Bryce touching me. I shrug and mouth back “I don’t know. Lunch.” She nods, understanding.
The rest of the morning seems to drag on forever. Bryce has been avoiding me like the plague since first period. I think he might be schizophrenic. Or at least bi-polar. His mood swings are making me dizzy, and now I don’t know if I even want to be friends...or more with him, anyway.
I sit down at our regular outdoor table to wait for Ana. I’m starving but I can’t bring myself to chance seeing Bryce in the cafeteria. It’s bad enough I had to watch him hang all over Lanie Thompson and Amelia Boggs in second and third periods. He continuously flashed that killer smile at them while refusing to make eye contact with me at all. My only consolation is that he gave them the charming smile, the one that didn’t quite reach his eyes, not the real one I’ve been on the receiving end of twice.
“Hey,” Ana huffs as she sits down across from me. “Here.”
She hands over a peanut butter and jelly sandwich, and I smile in thanks as I rip it open. The flavors explode on my tongue, and I moan in appreciation. “Thank you. I was starving.”
“No worries. Now,” she says, opening her own sandwich with delicate fingers, “tell me what happened.”
I look around to make sure we’re alone, then lean forward. I motion her to do the same. She rolls her eyes at me but complies. In whispered tones, I start talking.
“I have no idea. You saw. He was rubbing his thumb on my arm but, when I looked at him, he didn’t even seem to realize he was doing it. I smiled and blushed, of course. That’s when he pulled me in closer and told me he loves it when I blush.”
I can feel the heat building in my face again as Ana smirks and says, “Nice. I told you he likes you!”
“Shh,” I hiss, motioning for her to keep her voice down. “I might have agreed with you but not after what happened next. He tensed up, removed his arm and froze me out the rest of the morning.”
“Maybe he...”
“See, you can’t even come up with a valid reason,” I say when her words trail off. “Ana, he went back to hanging all over Lanie and Amelia. I know you saw it too.”
Ana nods. “Yes. I saw it but I don’t buy it. He looked like he was acting.”
I say nothing to this. Sure, even I think those smiles he was beaming were fake. Maybe that’s part of his game. Maybe he likes to draw girls in with his charm then break their hearts. Not that my heart is broken. I mean, I barely know the guy.
But I can’t deny the twinge of disappointment I felt when he pulled away. If I’m being really honest, it was more than just a twinge. I’ll never admit that out loud, though. Never. Bryce Howell will never know how his actions affect me, negatively or otherwise.
As if the thought conjured him, he’s suddenly standing next to the table waiting for Ana and I to acknowledge his presence. After one cursory glance to confirm it’s him, I look back down at my sandwich without speaking. Out of the corner of my eye, I see Ana looking back and forth between us. She seems to make a decision, standing and stuffing the remains of her lunch into her sack.
“Hey Bryce,” she says, as I shoot a tight-lipped look at her. She completely ignores it. “Sorry to eat and run but I gotta go, uh, do...something. Bye!”
I watch incredulously as she practically runs away from the table. I shut my gaping mouth and look back down at my lap. The table shifts as Bryce lowers himself onto the bench Ana vacated. If I refuse to look at him, maybe he’ll leave. He clears his throat. When I don’t respond, or make eye contact, he does it again. I roll my eyes skyward before giving in and looking at him.
“What?” My voice comes out harsher than I intended. So much for not letting him know he’d hurt me.
He flinches, which makes me flinch in turn. When did I turn into such a harpy? I relax the muscles in my face, trying for an impassive look. I try again.
“How can I help you, Bryce?” I say in pleasant, even tones.
“Ouch, that one’s even worse. I prefer your honesty.”
“You want my honesty?” I ask, my voice rising in pitch and volume with each word. I lean forward and lower it so only he can hear me. “How about you be honest with me? You’re so hot and cold, I never know which Bryce I’m going to get. What’s the deal?”
“I want to tell you, Kai. Really, I do. I just...can’t.”
“Well, I guess we’re done here,” I say, rising from my seat.
“Wait. Please, sit back down.” I comply but I’m ready to bolt if he continues to put me off. “Thanks. I... okay. I’ll tell you everything but not here. Can we meet at our spot after school?”
“Our spot? We don’t have a spot.”
He flashes a smile at me that seriously threatens to melt my bones. “Sure, we do. In the bushes where no one can see or hear us.”
I nod and he gets up and walks away. I’m dumbfounded once again by his lack of courtesy. He could at least say goodbye. But my impatience with his rudeness is short lived. Anticipation soon overtakes the feeling. I’m going to meet him in our spot after school. We have a spot. I can’t help smiling as I watch him enter the cafeteria. Bryce Howell and I have a secret spot.
Chapter Seven
My face hurts. I’ve been fighting to keep the stupid grin off my face for the last two hours but it’s a losing battle. The muscles in my face are exhausted, never having been used this much before. I can’t stop the smile from creeping back as I walk down the street toward home. But I’m not going home. I’m going to our spot.
I stop walking and peer into the bushes. I’m pretty sure this is where I pulled Bryce off the road. I step off the asphalt and pick my way through the foliage. Yes, this is definitely it. I head further in, coming to the clearing where I stopped this morning. It’s empty.
A slight panic builds in my chest. What if it was a trick? What if he told me to meet him here, knowing I’d come, only to make fun of me for getting my hopes up? For being such a loser? He’s probably with Lanie and Amelia now, laughing about what a sucker I am. I fight the burning behind my eyes and turn to leave.
I freeze, choking back the scream that tries to work its way up my throat. Bryce is there, standing so close, I get another strong whiff of citrus. I try to take a step back but my heel catches on a tree root, and I start to teeter backwards. I’m going to fall on my butt right in front of Bryce Howell.
Before I complete that thought, strong arms wrap around me and pull me upright. I can feel his heat against every square inch of my torso as he tightens his grip, pulling me against him. I inhale, a combination of a shocked gasp and a pleasant deep breath that ends on a sigh.
The sound seems to jerk Bryce to his senses and he takes a step back, keeping his hands on my shoulders. “Are you okay?” he asks.
“Yeah. Thanks.”
My words are stilted as I fight to control the emotion welling up inside me. I keep forgetting I’m supposed to be mad at him. We’re supposed to be having a serious discussion about his wild mood swings. I’m supposed to be the one in control here, not Bryce. I shrug my shoulders. He takes the hint and releases
his grip on me, letting his arms fall to his sides.
“Thanks for coming,” he says.
I nod. “How did you get here? I didn’t hear anything and suddenly you were behind me.”
“It’s...complicated, and part of what I have to tell you.”
“Okay,” I say, drawing the end of the word out like a question.
Bryce sits down on a bed of leaves at the base of a tree and pats the ground next to him. I want to be obstinate, to tell him I prefer to stand and that he should just get on with it, but I keep my mouth shut. I step close to him and sit, making sure to leave space between us. I can’t think when he’s too close, and I need my wits right now.
“Okay, Kai. I’ll tell you everything but you have to promise to keep an open mind and a closed mouth.”
“I-”
He holds up a hand to cut me off. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have said it like that. Can you please just let me get it all out before you speak? No interruptions?”
“Sure.” I can’t promise him anything but I resolve to try.
“My family is...different. It’s been drilled into me, for as long as I can remember, to never let anyone get too close. No ties. We move a lot, so it’s actually a good thing that I never let anyone in. No one to miss. No hearts to break. I’ve lived this way my whole life.”
I stare intently at him, soaking in his words. It makes me sad, though I understand the feeling. The only person I have besides my mom is Ana. But at least I have her. It sounds like Bryce hasn’t ever had anyone.
“When we moved here,” he continues, “I stuck to the same patterns I always have. Never talk to one person too much. Spread myself around, and when someone starts to get too close, brush them off with insults. Make them dislike me. I can’t let anyone see the real me.”
“But...why not?” The words rise unbidden to my tongue and are out before I can stop them.
Bryce gives me a pointed look, and I shake my head and mime locking my lips and throwing away an invisible key. That smile makes another appearance, and I can’t help but smile back. He reaches between us and takes my hand, giving it a squeeze before releasing it.
“When I met you the morning of my first day, I... I don’t know. There was something about you, something I couldn’t resist. Something that made me want to draw you in. That’s why I was so rude. I didn’t know how to deal with the feelings you invoked. At that moment, I decided that my best, and only, course of action was to stay away from you altogether.
“I couldn’t stick to it, though. I saw you swimming and was fascinated. Something pulled me down to the beach, like an invisible string drawing me to you. I felt like I had to talk to you, even if for just a moment.”
He pauses to reach over and take my hand again, this time not letting go. His palm against mine feels like a branding iron, spreading heat and electric tingles all the way up to my shoulder. I lift my eyes to his, staring into the deep blue depths. I increase the pressure of my grip on his hand, silently encouraging him to continue.
“This morning, when you told me you weren’t allowed to see me, something clicked in my head. My mind told me that the situation was perfect. If you’re not allowed to see me, it makes things so much easier. But, Kai, my instincts rebelled at the very idea. It’s unacceptable. I still feel drawn to you. I can’t resist it anymore.”
My heart swells at his words but shrivels nearly as quickly. There’s a catch. He hasn’t told me why he keeps everyone at arm’s length. I have a feeling in my gut that I’m not going to like it.
“Just tell me,” I say, unable to handle the silence for another second.
I see his adam’s apple bob as he swallows thickly. Beads of sweat glitter on his brow, showing me a side of Bryce I haven’t seen before. A nervous side. I almost change my mind and tell him not to tell me when he starts to speak.
“I have certain...abilities.” He pauses for just a second, unsure if he should go on. I give him an encouraging nod. “I can sense people’s emotions,” he says, spitting it all out in a rush.
“What?”
“I have the power to tell what people are feeling.”
My body gives a little involuntary jerk at the stress he puts on the word “power.” I’m confused, and when I’m confused, I always blurt out whatever I’m thinking.
“What do you mean, power? Like a superpower?”
He doesn’t answer me, just stares me down as if trying to exercise some kind of mind control over me to make me believe him. I feel a momentary shock of fear, which is quickly overrun by anger. Does he think I’m stupid or something? Like I’ll just believe any outlandish garbage he tries to tell me? I jerk my hand from his and stand.
“Kai, please.” He stands and reaches out to grasp my shoulders but I take a quick step back before he can touch me. Dropping his hands to his sides, he says, “You promised you’d let me finish.”
“Fine. Finish.”
“I felt your attraction to me when we met, and it was almost as strong as mine to you. I could feel it rolling off of you in waves. That’s why I was so rude to you. I had to nip those feelings, yours and mine, in the bud. I thought I had succeeded. I felt nothing but disdain from you after that.
“But then I watched you swim. Your joy was so absolute, it hit me in my gut, almost knocking me out of my chair. Sensing feelings from that distance is not normal, for me, at least. I couldn’t resist. I had to go down to the beach. You drew me in like a beacon of light.”
As I listen to his words, my disbelief starts to waver. A small niggling of doubt eats away at it. What if he’s telling the truth? What if he really can sense things?
“After our talk this morning, when you told me you were forbidden to see or speak to me,” he continues in a softer voice, “you were a jumble of emotions. I could sense disappointment, anger, rebellion, embarrassment...and at least a dozen more. Normally, all those feelings from one person would give me vertigo, spinning me in different directions. But from you, I felt each one individually and succinctly. Something about you brings clarity to the gift.
“Then I asked you why you were meeting me if it was forbidden, and your conviction hit me in the chest like a freight train. You refuse to let the old lady dictate your actions, yes, but there was something else there, too. Something I’ve never felt before. Something I can’t really define. I’m sorry I jetted out of here like I did but I needed to think. To process it all.”
I begin to feel myself giving him the benefit of the doubt. I’ve heard of people having a sixth sense. Maybe that’s what this is. Or just a talent for reading people. That, I can believe.
“Is that all? Your parents don’t want you getting close to anyone because you’re really good at reading people? That doesn’t make any sense, Bryce.”
His shoulders droop. “I think you misunderstood. I’m not saying I’m good at reading people, Kai. I’m saying I can sense people’s emotions. Every one. Like they’re wearing a blinking neon sign.”
“But...how?”
Bryce takes a deep breath and lays his palm on my cheek. Once again, his heat infuses me, making me feel safe and content. Like nothing can touch me. I’m invincible.
“I’m a witch.”
“A w-”
I can’t finish. My entire body flushes hot, then cold, and I throw his hand away from me. I take a quick step back, putting some much-needed space between us. My chest is heaving up and down, anger coursing through my veins like hot lava.
“Seriously?” I spit at him. “A witch? That’s the best you can come up with? Is this some kind of joke? Are your little girlfriends hiding in the bushes, laughing at what a chump I am?”
I begin pacing, shaking my arms out at my sides. I’m so mad, I can’t control the frenetic movements of my body. I want to scream. I want to cry. I want to punch Bryce Howell in the face. I turn and come to a halt. He’s standing in my path, again without making a sound. Or maybe I just didn’t hear it over the sound of my heartbeat pounding in my eardrums.
> “Kai, please. I promised to tell you everything, and you promised to listen.”
“That’s when I thought you were being serious,” I snap at him.
“I am being serious.”
Something in his voice causes me to flinch. The words have a ring of truth. I feel the tension ease from my body in small increments. He really believes what he’s saying. He really thinks he’s a... a witch. A new feeling invades me. Pity.
As soon as I define the feeling, the muscles in Bryce’s face tighten into a frown. “Don’t do that,” he says sternly. “Don’t think of me like some head case that needs your sympathy.”
“How did you…” My words trail off.
“You’re not listening to me, Kai. I told you I can sense people’s feelings. Your pity feels like a giant slug sliding down my throat.”
“I...”
God, I don’t know what to say. I turn my back to him so I can think. Either he’s crazy or he’s not. If he’s not crazy, that means he really is a witch and…
“Do something.”
“What?”
I turn to face him again. “If you’re really a witch, prove it. Do something.”
Bryce shoots a frown in my direction, obviously unhappy about my requirement of proof. He expects me to just take his word for it and believe he’s a witch? Not a chance.
“Skepticism.”
“Too obvious. Of course, I’m skeptical. You just told me you have magical powers. You said you have abilities.” I stress the plurality of the word. “I’ve seen the emotion thing. Show me something else.”
I hear a sigh before he starts to mumble something under his breath. I can’t make out what he’s saying but the timbre of his voice affects me as a chill runs down my spine. I keep my eyes trained on him, listening to his mumbling and watching him move toward me. As he gets closer, I realize something’s missing. There’s no crunch of leaves or snapping of twigs. I look at his feet. I see a tree branch snap in half as he puts his weight down on it but I hear nothing. As if to drive the point home, he raises his foot high and stomps it down. Silence.
