by K. C. Lynn
The smell of her skin still lingers on mine
The sound of her laugh whispering in my mind
Reminding me of all that was lost
But the sacrifice was worth the cost
To know she’s happy and following her dreams
Even if they happen without me
My eyes spring back open, breath catching in my throat. Tears blur my vision, not only from the words he expels but the emotion and sincerity behind them.
We were young but our love was strong
The days when I held her are long gone
Now only her memory can take me home
A man filled with darkness, I sit alone
Her love was my light, warmth within my bones
And I carry it with me wherever I may roam
Knowing he spent his nights thinking about me, as I did him, mends my fractured heart.
She’s my anchor, my light
My salvation in the night
My angel, my peace
The best part of me
Smiling through my tears, I fall to my back, letting the incredible sound of his voice flow through my veins and feed my soul. I remember in the past when he would sing to me like this, and it always ended with us making love.
His fierce eyes are fixated on where my dress has ridden up and desire thickens his tone.
A current of heat sparks inside of me. Holding his gaze, I drag my fingers up the inside of my thighs, adding to the goose bumps already racing over my heated skin.
His voice darkens further, every beautiful word deepening as I slip my hand under my dress, lifting the fabric in the process to make sure he can see. Pushing my panties aside, I glide my fingers through my warm flesh.
My mouth parts on a gasp, back arching as I skim over the swollen bundle of nerves. I continue to listen to the feelings he’s had buried in his soul, the words encouraging me further. My fingers move faster, body rising in temperature with every stroke.
His growl erupts through the air, ending the song. Before I can beg him not to stop, he yanks my hand away and buries his mouth in its place.
“Oh god!” I cry out at the warm sensation of his tongue. My fingers drive through his hair with greed, gripping the silky strands to bring him closer.
He hums his approval, pushing me closer to the edge until I can’t hold back any longer and catapult into a hurricane of pleasure. The stars above me blur with the strength of my orgasm, ecstasy racing through every nerve ending of my body.
I’m still drowning in the sensations when I feel him come over top of me. He’s already removed his shirt, the heat of his bare flesh searing me through my thin dress.
I hear the clinking of his belt buckle as he reaches between us and shoves his jeans down just enough to free himself. In one fluent motion he fills me, irrevocably shattering my world.
“Christopher.” His name races past my lips as I try to find the words he makes me feel.
“I know, baby.” He grabs one of my hands, linking our fingers together and brings it up over my head. His mouth turns to my ear. “She’s my anchor, my light, my salvation in the night.”
A sob tumbles out of me as he finishes the song he wrote. About us, about our love that gave him comfort while he was away. The words whisper against my skin, his thrusts never faltering as he makes love to me like never before.
Once the song ends, he brings his mouth over mine, swallowing my cries of loss and regret. “Don’t cry.”
The soothing words only make me cry harder. “I loved you so much,” I confess through my tears. “I loved you then, and I love you now. I never stopped.”
His breathing deepens, muscles straining beneath my fingertips. He takes my mouth and inhales my pain, making it his own.
He doesn’t return the words but he doesn’t need to. I felt it in his song, in his touch, and in the way he looks at me.
I vow here and now to not lose him for a second time.
I won’t survive it.
CHAPTER 18
Alissa
The sun heats my skin as I walk arm in arm with my dad down the beach in Charleston. Shops are set up along the harbor, people out walking or sitting on the patios at restaurants, sipping an afternoon refreshment.
Since Christopher is teaching his music lesson, I took the opportunity to spend a little time with my father. He didn’t like me being without him, even for this short time, but I assured him I would be fine. Had it been with anyone else, I probably wouldn’t be here right now, but Christopher knew I would be safe with my dad.
“You look happy,” my father comments, breaking my train of thought. “Actually, I think this is the happiest I’ve seen you in years… Five, to be exact.”
His intuitive observation brings a smile to my face. Despite the unfortunate circumstances of the last couple of weeks, I can’t be upset because it brought Christopher into my life again. Things have been so amazing between us since the night he sang to me. It’s hard to feel the crushing fear or weight that looms over me when I have finally been reunited with the man I love.
“I am,” I admit, looking over at my father. “Really happy. I’ve missed him, Dad.”
He pats my fingers that are curled around his arm. “I know, sweetheart. I’ve always liked Christopher. But I do so even more now. He saved my little girl’s life, and I will be indebted to him forever.”
“If only mother could have the same gratitude as you,” I mumble, unable to keep the bitterness out of my tone.
“Well, that’s your mother for you. However, in her own warped way, she does love you. I’m certain of that.”
I glance over at him, the slight ocean breeze blowing strands of my hair gently into my face. “Why do you always stick up for her? Even after everything she has done to our family.” There’s no anger or resentment in my tone, only curiosity. “You have every right to hate her.”
“Nah. I could never hate her. I don’t necessarily like her but I also know where she comes from. Your grandparents weren’t the most loving people and she did give me the most precious gift no one else could have,” he adds, flashing me a warm smile. “For that reason alone, I could never hate her.”
Stopping our walk, I wrap my arms around his neck. “I hate that she hurt you but even more than that, I hate that you’re alone. You need someone to share your life with, Dad.” The last of my words are strained from the emotion building in my throat, sadness striking me as I think about the most heartbreaking moment my family endured.
“Oh, Alissa.” He sighs, hugging me close. “Don’t worry about me. My job keeps me busy. And any free time I have I spend with my beautiful daughter. That’s all I need. At least for right now.”
“You will always have me,” I promise.
“And that’s all that matters. Even if I have to share you.” His wink brings a smile to my face again. “Come on. Let’s go back to the car and I’ll take you to him. I have a feeling he’s spent most of his time worrying.”
“Probably.” I agree, but can’t deny the warmth in my heart.
“I like that about him. He wants to keep my girl safe.”
I’ve always been safe with Christopher. As for my heart, I’m still unsure just how safe that part is.
On our walk back to the parking lot, I cross a booth that stops me in my tracks. Reaching out, I finger the unique bracelets. “What are these made of?” I ask the salesman.
“Guitar strings.”
My eyes lift to his. “Do you have any more masculine ones?”
“Sure do, over here.”
He leads me to the other end of the table, and I gasp when my eyes land on a thick black leather one with silver guitar strings interwoven, clasped together by a guitar pick.
“This one,” I whisper, my hand shaking as I pick it up. “How much?”
“One fifty. There was a lot more work involved but I’ll throw in any engraving you want.”
“Can you do it right now?”
“You bet. Give me five mi
nutes.”
I turn to my father. “Do you mind?”
“Not at all. I have a quick call to make. You go ahead. I’ll be right back.”
I hand the salesman the bracelet then write down what I want inscribed on it. My heart dances in my chest, excited for the moment to give it to Christopher. I’ll do it once we’re done having dinner with Cade and Faith.
“Hey, Lis.”
I tense at the deep voice and turn to find myself face-to-face with Ryan. “What are you doing here?”
“I just finished up a business meeting,” he explains, pointing to the restaurant on the harbor. “I saw you as I was leaving so thought I’d come say hi.”
Instead of responding, I turn my back on him.
“Guess I deserve that,” he mumbles quietly. “I’m sorry about the other day.”
“I’m sure you are,” I bite out.
“I am. I didn’t go there to fight.”
I twist back to him, my eyes narrowing. “Really? That’s why you started one with Christopher? Spewing lies about us.”
Anger sparks in his eyes. “The guy gets under my skin just as bad as I get under his. I lost my cool, okay? I’m sorry.”
“You owe Christopher an apology, not me.”
He grunts. “Well it’s never going to happen.”
“Then I have nothing more to say to you.”
He steps closer, softening his tone. “Come on, Alissa. We haven’t always been at each other’s throats. There was a time when we could hang out and talk.”
There were a couple of times when I thought there might be a decent bone in his body. They were few and far between, and they stopped the night he was drunk and tried to kiss me.
“Listen. I know this isn’t my business, but your mom misses you. She hasn’t stopped crying. You should really come by and see her.”
“No. She brought this on herself and if she ever wants to have any kind of relationship with me, she needs to apologize and respect my choices, especially when it comes to Christopher.”
“What if she’s right about him?” he asks. “You have to admit it’s a little coincidental he shows up out of the blue again, when you’re kidnapped and nearly killed.”
My eyes widen in disbelief. “My dad sought him out, Ryan. He asked him to risk his own life for me. Which he did.”
“How convenient.”
A bitter laugh escapes me. “Forget it. This is why I never take you seriously.”
“I am being serious, Lis.”
“So am I,” I snap. “Even if I didn’t know better, why the hell would he risk both of our lives like that?”
“To get back into your bed!”
“He’s always been welcome there,” I confess shamelessly. “He’s had my heart the whole damn time, Ryan, he doesn’t need to trick his way back into it.”
The admission only seems to infuriate him.
“Is everything all right here?” my father asks, coming to stand next to me.
“Everything is fine. Ryan and I were just clearing a few things up,” I explain.
Ryan’s jaw ticks angrily. “Think about what I said.” Without another word, he walks away, leaving my father and me in tense silence.
“What was that about?”
“Mom wants to see me. Apparently, she hasn’t stopped crying,” I inform him, hating the guilt that takes up residence inside of me.
“Maybe you should.”
I shake my head. “I’m not ready, Dad. She owes Christopher an apology first.”
“You’re right. She does.”
Sighing tiredly, I turn back to the salesman who looks a little uncomfortable as he hands me the bracelet. I’m embarrassed that he witnessed my argument with Ryan but the feeling fades when I look down at the inscription on the bracelet.
My breath catches, not caring about anything else but what I hold in my hand. It’s absolutely perfect, and I can’t wait to see it on Christopher.
Thanking the man, I pay him then follow my father to his car.
On our drive to Faith’s School of Music, my thoughts stray to my mother, and I hate the feelings that are brought on with them. Anger, resentment, but most of all longing. I wish we could have the kind of relationship a mother and daughter should. Filled with laughter, love, and kindness. But that will never happen, not when she can’t respect Christopher or me. I’m not even sure she’s capable of that kind of love.
Once we arrive at the school, I bid my father good-bye with a kiss on the cheek then walk in the front doors, my heart lighter the moment I enter. I pass by Faith’s classroom first, giving her a quick wave before continuing to the room at the end of the hall where Christopher said he would be.
Clapping and stomping fill the air as I approach, the beat to Queen’s “We Will Rock You” vibrating the floor beneath my feet.
I pause at the open door and smile when I see Christopher with a headset on, a small microphone pointed to his mouth. The harsh lyrics spill from him as he instructs each group of kids their part with his hands. Some are backup singers, and others keep the rhythm with their hands and feet.
Eventually, he motions for a young girl to come forward then moves to the boy at the drums, grabbing his wrists.
“Next!” he bellows the order.
The beat changes, rolling into “Another One Bites the Dust.” Christopher helps the boy play the drums, eliciting a smile from him while the young girl sings. She is a cute, sassy thing, her hips swinging as she soaks up being front and center.
Sensing my presence, Christopher’s eyes lift to mine, the connection making my heart tumble in my chest.
Every—single—time.
He graces me with one of his sexy smirks before returning his attention to the boy at the drums. When they stop halfway through, I break out into applause.
All eyes swing my way, the children’s faces gripped in surprise.
“Come in here.” Christopher motions for me to enter, his arm curling around my waist when I come to stand next to him. “Guys, I want you to meet my friend, Alissa.”
“Hi.” I wave, feeling a little shy. “You guys are great.”
“Why thank you.” The little girl who was singing with Christopher bows.
“That’s Latisha,” he says, formally introducing us.
“With an L,” she adds.
“Nice to meet you, Latisha.”
“You, too.”
“On the end there is Arnie.” Christopher points to a cute boy with thick glasses and curly brown hair.
I smile at him. “Hello.”
The boy takes his glasses off, rubbing the front of the lenses on his shirt before putting them back on and blinking up at me. He takes a large gulp before finally speaking. “Man, you’re pretty.”
“Why thank you. You are quite handsome yourself.”
His cheeks redden at the compliment.
Christopher grunts. “Back off, kid. She’s mine.”
Giggles fill the room, mine included.
“I thought you said you didn’t have a girlfriend?” a girl chimes in, sounding a little accusatory.
“That was before.” The look he sends my way has my heart fluttering in my chest.
“My mom is going to be really disappointed.”
Christopher clears his throat. “Uh, this is Katy,” he says, introducing the young girl next to me.
I offer her a smile and a wave, which she returns.
“Next to her is Trinny.”
“Hi, Alissa,” she greets me with an enthusiastic breath. Jumping off the bench she’s standing on, she walks up to me, her cute self dressed in pink overalls, warming my heart on the spot. “I sure do love your dress.”
“Thank you, I like your outfit, too.”
Her face lights up at the compliment. “Thanks, my Gran bought it for me but sometimes I have a hard time undoing the buckles to go to the bathroom,” she informs me.
“Yeah, we had that problem about thirty minutes ago,” Christopher grumbles. “Thankfully, Fait
h is down the hall.”
I bite back a chuckle, imagining how panicked he must have been.
The introductions end with the young boy sitting at the drums. His head is lowered as he twists the drumstick between his small fingers.
“Hi, Rafe. You did a great job on the drums.”
“Thanks,” he mumbles shyly.
“So what do you guys think about the mix?” Christopher asks the class. “Should this be our performance?”
“I dig it,” Latisha says with a nod.
The rest chime in their agreement.
“Good, then that’s settled. I made each of you a CD.” He points to the table where a stack of discs lay. “I want you to take one home and listen to it as much as possible.”
A small crowd begins gathering at the door as parents arrive to pick up their children.
“I’ll see you guys next week.” Christopher dismisses them then heads over to speak with Rafe.
While he does that, I help hand out the CDs, making sure each child gets one.
Trinny takes hers then wraps her small arms around my waist. “Bye, Miss Alissa. I hope we see you again.”
“Me, too,” I tell her, meaning it.
She skips off to her mother who waits by the door, taking all her cuteness with it.
Once the last student leaves, I turn and find Christopher watching me, his eyes devouring me where I stand.
His strides are purposeful as he closes the distance between us, pulling me into his arms. My throat turns dry at the feel of his hard body against mine.
“Did you have a good time with your dad?” he asks.
“I did, but I missed you.”
“Me, too, baby.” His admission does wonderful things to my prancing heart.
“I love your students. You’re amazing with them.”
He grunts at the compliment. “You should have seen the first few classes. They were a fucking disaster.”
“Well, they seem to like you. And apparently, so does Katy’s mom,” I add, thinking about her earlier comment.
He quirks a brow. “Jealous?”
“Should I be?”
His eyes darken, gaze unrelenting. “You know better than that, Alissa. No one compares to you. They never have and never will.”
