by Tabatha Kiss
“We are. It just…” My tongue twitches as months of secrets come spilling out. “It all happened so fast. One minute, I’m sitting at a baseball game and the next, I get knocked out by a damn home run and wake up in the hospital pregnant with his kid.”
Trisha’s face screws up. “Wait, what?”
“And he’s there and we’re both freaking out and then you offered him that exposé—”
“Daisy, halt. Go back.” She gestures with her hands. “The girl that got hit with Hunter’s home run — that was you?”
I nod. “Yeah.”
“And you woke up in the hospital pregnant with his child?”
“Yeah, we, uh…” I hesitate, scratching my scalp, “we had sex, of course, a month before that. It was just one night — it was supposed to be one night.”
Trisha keeps her eyes focused on me as her hand slides into her back pocket. “Tell me more,” she says as she pulls out her notepad and flicks it open.
“Maybe some other time, Trisha.” I stand up without thinking. “I should go get packed…”
“Wait—” She reaches across the table and grabs my wrist. “I’m a little hurt that you felt you couldn’t tell me about this, Daisy.”
“I’m sorry. It just didn’t feel right to talk about. I haven’t even told my own mother yet…”
“I forgive you,” she nods, letting go of me and sitting up straight. “You know, you’re pretty good at keeping things quiet.”
“Thanks,” I mutter.
“You didn’t even tell Hunter about your big promotion.”
I pause. “Did you?”
“It might have slipped out.” She shrugs. “I figured you’d have told him already.”
Shit.
“I gotta go, Trisha—”
She leans out to block my path. “When is the baby due?”
“February,” I answer with impatience.
“Perfect. Baseball season starts up again in April and by then, you can suit up and throw the little sucker in a björn. You can take pictures and nurse at the same time, right?”
“I… honestly have no idea.”
She smirks. “You’re a 21st-century lady, Daisy. The answer to that question is always yes.”
I nod and walk away from the table, navigating fast through the crowded space back to Hunter’s room.
***
“Hunter?”
I push open his door and glance around the empty motel room. Time has come to a wicked slowdown as I try and predict what he might be thinking. As far as secrets go, this one is pretty minor, I’d say. Even referring to it as a secret is more than generous.
But then, why am I so worried?
“Hunter, you here?”
I check the bathroom. Remnants of shower steam still cling to the mirror but he’s not here, either.
Okay, Daisy, think. Crappy motel. Only so many places he could be.
I walk outside and navigate down the corridor to my room but he wouldn’t be there. I keep the door locked to protect my camera equipment.
A door opens and Coach Carl steps outside.
“Hey, Coach. Have you seen Hunter?”
He shakes his head, barely glancing up.
“Thanks,” I say as I pass around him.
I look over the railing and scan the parking lot. It’s mostly deserted with the exception of a few old cars and the team’s bus near the back.
I squint, noticing a dark figure walking up and down the aisle inside. With a smile, I make my way over to it. There’s only one man those broad shoulders could belong to.
“Hunter?” I step up into the bus and there he is, pacing back and forth in his tight, white uniform. He pauses his short stride but he doesn’t look at me. “You okay?”
He scratches his cheek. “Yeah.”
I stare into his face, not believing him. “Hey, I… I just talked to Trisha and…” I take a breath, “I kind of owe you an apology.”
Hunter finally looks at me and shakes his head with a flexed jaw. “No, you don’t.”
“No, I do.” I step closer. “Trisha offered me a promotion a while ago but I didn’t know what it would mean for us and I couldn’t figure that out until I knew what us meant and I was too chicken shit to just ask and I’m… getting really wordy here so I’m just gonna shut up.”
His lips twitch. “I get it, Daisy,” he says. “You don’t have to apologize. I’m really proud of you.”
I breathe a little easier. “Yeah?”
“Yeah. You got your dream job. You’ve worked really hard to get here.”
“Right.” I nod, sensing a chill down my spine. He keeps his head down, avoiding my eyes. “Hunter, it’s okay to be mad at me, if you are—”
“I’m not,” he says. “I don’t have a right to be. I kept something from you, too.”
I blink. “What?”
He looks up at me and I can’t tell if it’s excitement or regret in his eyes. “I made it,” he tells me.
“You made it?”
“I’m on the roster for next season,” he nods.
My jaw drops as I smile. “Seriously?”
“Yeah. Bud confirmed it. This is my last year in the minors.”
“Holy shit, Hunter. That’s awesome!”
“I know.”
“Do you know who you’ll play for?”
He shakes his head. “I could go anywhere; New York, Atlanta, Los Angeles, St. Louis—”
“Wow.” The excitement and pride shake me for another moment before it finally sinks in. “How long have you known?”
“A month, I guess,” he answers quietly. “Just before I saw that ultrasound.”
I bite my inner cheek. He’s kept this from me for as long as I’ve kept my news from him. A rock settles in my gut, taking hold of me until I feel nauseous. “Okay… why didn’t you tell me before?”
He shifts on his feet. “Same as you. I saw the baby on that screen and I… wanted to know if what we had was real or if we were just…”
I furrow my brow. “Just what?”
His shoulders sag. “Forcing it? I don’t know…”
“Is that what you’ve been doing this whole time?” I ask, stepping back. “Just forcing it?”
“No,” he says. “I wanted to be with you — I like being with you — but…” His voice falls. “I wanted to be sure that you weren’t too much of a distraction.”
I frown. “A distraction?”
“You saw that game after the appointment,” he reminds me. “I almost blew it.”
“And that’s my fault?”
“I’m not saying that.”
“Sure as hell sounds like it.”
Hunter takes a quick step forward. “And what about you, huh?” he asks. “How long have you known about the job at the magazine?”
“Okay, yeah. Clearly, we have a communication problem,” I say, swallowing the lump in my throat. I look to the floor between us, knowing that this is a little more than just a communication problem.
It’s a pattern. Every damn time. Every damn relationship I fall into ends the same way. Secrets. Lies. No one says what they’re really thinking until it’s too late.
It’s my fault as much as it is theirs. Probably more so…
I guess starting from the beginning always meant that we’d reach the end eventually.
I really thought I’d get it right this time.
Chapter 26
Hunter
A communication problem.
It’s not just that. There’s a whole lot of bad timing involved here, too.
I look at her now, standing in front of me on this damn bus, and I can just see it on her face. She’s got that same desperate scowl she wore the night we met. Lost and lonely Daisy Hawthorne. I remember staring into her blue eyes beneath the dim bar lights and wanting to know everything about her. I wanted to turn that frown upside down and I definitely did — in more ways than one — but it was easy back then.
“Daisy.” I say her name and she cring
es.
She keeps her head down, sliding backward away from me. “We should just talk about this later, Hunter—”
I jut forward to grab her wrist. “Wait—”
“Let go of me.”
“Not yet,” I say, staring her down. “I know what you’re thinking right now and you’re wrong.”
“You have no idea what I’m thinking.”
“Not again, maybe?” Her face falls, confirming the suspicion. “But this is different, Daisy. We’re different.”
“No, we’re not different, Hunter. We’re just more complicated.”
“Good.” I let go of her. “That means we need to talk this out. It’s not just you and me here.”
She nods. “You’re right. It’s not. The whole point of this was to get to know each other and see if we were capable of being a family — to do what’s best for the baby. To start from the beginning. Remember?”
“Of course, I remember.”
“And we couldn’t even make it a month before we started keeping things from each other.”
I open my mouth to speak but my breath catches in my throat. “Daisy…”
She shakes her head, tempting the tears to fall. “If we’re going to start being really honest with ourselves here, Hunter, then I’ll go first. Trisha offered me that job and I was ecstatic. My life was finally beginning; things were finally falling into place. But then I remembered that I was pregnant and my life wasn’t just mine anymore. Now, can you look me in the eye and tell me you didn’t think the exact same thing when you found out about your ticket to the major leagues?”
I look down at the space between us, fighting the urge to lie. “No.”
“I thought that maybe there was a way,” she continues. “Maybe you and I could figure something out instead of…”
“We can,” I say, fighting harder.
“I really thought so, too, but then…” She gestures around the bus. “Look at this, Hunter. Look at where we are right now.”
I let out a harsh exhale. “Trisha filling your head with that crap, too?”
She furrows her brow. “What crap?”
“That this was all just temporary from the start,” I reply. “That a real relationship isn’t possible when I live the life I do. She said I could have this or you but not both.”
Daisy wipes a falling tear from her cheek, biting her lip hard as the words form on her tongue. “Maybe she’s right.”
My heart sinks. “No, she’s not.”
“In the minors, you’re never too far away from home. You’re on a bus traveling along the eastern coast. But in the majors…” Her lip quivers. “New York, Atlanta, Los Angeles, St. Louis… We’d never see you, Hunter. That’s not what’s best for any of us.”
I flex my jaw in frustration; pissed off that I have to hear all of this again — especially from her. “What do you want me to do? Quit?”
“No,” she answers. “You’re right where you belong and so am I.”
“Then, what?” Desperation takes me over and I cling to the very idea of her… of Daisy Hawthorne and my baby. “What do we do?”
“You already know.”
“I don’t want to do that,” I say quickly.
“Neither do I, but…” She sighs. “We both knew this was coming, Hunter. At least, be honest about that.”
“No.” I stand a little taller. “You want to stand there and give up, that’s fine — but don’t frame it like some kind of inevitability. I deserve a little more credit than that.”
Her eyes blush with anger but she holds it in. “Do you want to play baseball?”
“It’s not that simple.”
“It’s a yes or no question, Hunter,” she says over me. “Do you want to play baseball?”
“Yes,” I answer.
“And I don’t want to hold you back from what you want.”
“I want you.”
“But you want the game just a little bit more, don’t you?” she asks.
I deflate. “That’s not…”
“It’s okay, Hunter.”
“No, it’s not. This isn’t fair to you.”
“I’ll be fine,” she says. I don’t believe her, though. “I said at the beginning that this kid deserves a family and I’ll make sure it gets it. You don’t have to worry about that.”
“Daisy, can we...” I flex my hands. “Can we just talk about that? Please?”
“I can’t raise this baby by myself,” she says, forcing herself to straighten up. “Believe me, I want to. But I know what I’m capable of and I—”
“I don’t think you do,” I say. “I don’t think you have any idea how amazing you are.”
She laughs to herself. “We’re supposed to be honest right now.”
“I am.”
“I wouldn’t be able to live with myself if something happened, Hunter. I can’t trust myself to do right by it, no matter how much it hurts to say that out loud.”
Tears spill down her face and it breaks my heart. I could stand here all day and fight her on that but Daisy won’t change her mind. She’s stubborn as all hell, always has been.
“So, this is it, then?” I ask.
She wipes her cheeks. “We tried. We can say that much.”
I step forward, bridging the short gap between us. “Daisy, I don’t want to make this decision right now.”
“Then, I will.”
“Just…” I reach out and lay my hand on hers, “give it a few hours. Okay? We’ll think about it and talk some more after the game today. We’ll talk all day and night — as long as it takes until we work something out.”
“Hunter…” Her voice is so low and weak, like she’s already broken down. “Do you love me?”
I open my mouth to speak, to say yes, of course I do, but that doesn’t come out. “I don’t know,” I say instead.
She nods like that doesn’t surprise her at all and turns away.
“Please,” I beg her. I don’t want it to end this way. Not after everything we’ve been through. Not before everything we could have been…
Daisy pauses and takes a deep breath. She pushes onto the tips of her toes to lay a kiss on my lips and I cup her wet face to keep her near me.
“Good luck at the game,” she whispers.
She slips from my grasp and walks off the bus.
***
Daisy wasn’t at the game.
I looked for her every chance I could. Trisha was there, as always, hanging around the dugout flashing cutesy winks at Devin, but Daisy wasn’t there.
No camera shutter sound tickling my ears. No quick glance over her fingers after snapping another photo. No lingering smile on her lips as she studied the viewfinder to make sure she got a decent shot.
I start to fear the worst. It’s not an entirely foreign feeling to me nowadays. I always feel a little uneasy whenever the bus hits the brakes suddenly or if Daisy doesn’t watch where she’s going on the stairs. She’s carrying some precious cargo under her sweater, so yeah, I worry about her constantly. But this… this feels different.
“Daisy?”
I twist her doorknob but it’s locked up tight. The curtains are drawn over the windows, not allowing even a little slither of light to shine in. Daisy can’t sleep at all with even the slightest bit of illumination — yet another thing that made me nervous whenever she got up in the middle of the night to head for the bathroom in complete darkness.
I take a deep breath and knock hard on the door. “Daisy!”
No answer. No hint of movement inside.
I head down the corridor towards my room, hoping that she’s there instead. My heart pounds against my ribs, refusing to let up. I can barely even breathe.
“Daisy—”
I throw the door open and look around. My guts twist. Her laptop is gone. It was still sitting on the table when I left for the game before but it’s not there now. Every trace of her is gone.
I spin back to the door, hearing the faint rolling of a suitcase behind me o
n the catwalk. It’s Trisha, completely packed with one arm of her sunglasses held tight between her teeth.
“Trisha, where’s Daisy?” I ask her.
She slides the sunglasses over her eyes. “Daisy went home.”
“Home?”
“Yeah — where the heart is,” she quips with a smile. “You’ve heard of it.”
I shake off the annoying joke. “How is she getting there?”
Trisha shrugs. “I didn’t ask and she didn’t say.”
“What did she say?”
She raises a brow, reacting to my harsh tone, but I don’t care. “Not a lot. Just that she wanted to take leave a few days early. The season is basically over and we got everything we needed for the exposé, so I said sure. I’m heading back to New York today myself.”
Daisy. What the hell are you thinking?
“I think this year’s article is going to be my best yet, Hunter. You’re gonna love it.”
“Yeah. I can’t wait,” I murmur with tight fists.
Trisha reaches into her purse and pulls out a folded note written on crappy motel stationary. “She asked me to give this to you.”
I snatch it from her fingers and she walks past me, rolling her suitcase behind her as she goes. “Bye, honey,” she says, blowing a quick kiss at me.
I forget she exists as I tear the note open.
It’s for the best.
The letters blend together and the words become meaningless as I read it over and over again.
It’s for the best.
Like hell it is.
I barge back into my room to grab my phone, practically ripping the charger out of the wall as I yank it free.
This isn’t right. It’s not fair. We could have sat down together and worked this out. We could have come up with a solution; something that would have given us what we both wanted.
I call her number, pressing the phone so hard against my head it hurts.
Daisy came back into my life for a reason. I have to believe that. Otherwise, what was the fucking point to all of this? Some sort of messed up karma? To teach us a lesson about the dangers of casual sex? What was all of this for if it wasn’t to bring us together to be a family?
