She was sure her mother had been all those things at first, and still, she’d abandoned Kate and her father. Life carried no guarantees. While Kate might be able to handle abandonment again, Chelsea was just a kid.
She needed to show Travis that she didn’t need his help and send him on his way. But that was the opposite of what she’d planned to do last night by keeping him busy. Her head hurt from trying to consider every angle.
Drawing a deep breath, she walked into the bathroom and tested her glucose. Two-forty-four. Way too high. The low blood-sugar episode reversed itself to the extreme. She needed to get her body under control again—sooner rather than later—so that Travis’s time here could come to an end.
I want my calm, boring life back, please.
Normally, controlling her diabetes was relatively easy.
Downstairs, she saw little evidence of Travis when she walked into the living room to see if he was still sleeping. He’d folded up the sheets she’d given him to make his bed and left them over an armrest. She didn’t remember him being so neat in college. While she could have let him sleep in Daddy’s old room, which was now her guest room, she didn’t want Travis to get too comfortable. She wanted him gone.
How had he fared on the sofa last night? At over six feet, no doubt Travis would have had his feet hanging over the armrest of her sofa, or he would have slept propped up with pillows on the other end. In college, he slept in his boxers.
Don’t picture what he slept in while he was in your living room.
Of course, the memories of waking up beside him the last month and a half that they’d dated had been imprinted indelibly on her brain.
Wondering where he might be, she returned to the kitchen and glanced through the window over the sink. His truck remained parked in the circular drive, so he hadn’t left. Supposing he’d turn up sooner or later, she injected her insulin into her upper abdomen and decided to deal with him later. She had stalls to clean and horses waiting to be fed.
The cardboard on the door’s window reminded her of last night. He’d wanted to barricade the door with the heavy butcher block, but she’d convinced him that the deadbolt would suffice—without the key in it. He’d lived in the city too long. Oh, sure, there was crime in rural areas, too, but far fewer thugs per square mile out here as Daddy used to say.
She had to admit having Travis downstairs had given her an odd sense of security. She’d slept soundly, without a care.
Inside the barn, she entered the tack room only to stop abruptly. Have mercy.
Grinning widely and eyeing her from head to toe, Travis carried a bucket filled with oats, his bicep straining the sleeve of his plaid shirt and looking ready to burst the seams. “Mornin’, darlin’.” That smooth-as-whiskey voice rumbled over her, and Kate swore she was twenty years old all over again.
Travis’s short brown hair stuck up every which way, as though it hadn’t been brushed or he’d run a hand through it, the way she wanted to right now. He sure did fill out his western-cut shirt perfectly, and the light green tone of it made his hazel eyes stand out. His tight pecs gave way to a trim waist and an abdomen that no doubt looked like a washboard. He’d always been attractive, but he’d honed his body to perfection. Not to mention working in the sun, judging by his tanned hands. Maybe he didn’t delegate from his engineering office.
A heaviness pooled in her lower belly. Was it a reaction to her insulin shot in the abdomen or the potent man standing in front of her? Her body responded in ways it hadn’t in years. No man had ever turned her on as much as this one had, but she needed to fight that attraction. Darlin’? No one but Travis had ever called her that. “I’m not your darling. What are you doing?”
“I’ve mucked all the stalls,” he began, making his way toward her. She fought the urge to take a step back, standing her ground instead. “Time to feed the horses their breakfast. How’re you feeling? Have you eaten?”
She’d be better if he wasn’t in here, although he’d kept her on schedule today. “I’m fine. You didn’t need to do that, but I appreciate it. I overslept.” She reached for the bucket, but when she tried to take it from him, their hands brushed. A jolt of electricity flashed up her arm.
Simmer down.
When he didn’t relinquish his hold, she backed away and watched as he walked back into the aisle between the stalls. She shouted how much to feed the first horse.
“You already have the instructions on each stall.”
Oh yeah. She’d done that because Chelsea had trouble remembering the amounts and she sometimes had her friends Jason and Lidia Brodie help out.
Kate retrieved a currycomb and headed to Buttercup’s stall, since Travis appeared to have been up long enough to cancel out her tardiness. Momentarily rid of him, she let the calming strokes relax her as she talked to the most senior horse in her barn. The chestnut mare had been a gift from her father when Kate had turned ten. In turn, Kate had continued that tradition by giving Chelsea her own horse, Jasmine, at the age of six.
During Kate’s teen years, she’d taken to calling the horse B.C., thinking Buttercup sounded too childish. The horse hadn’t seemed to mind the name change and had served Kate well all this time as a brood mare. Now, at twenty-five, she made a wonderful, calming companion horse and a pleasure mount for novice riders.
B.C. shuffled gingerly around her stall, arthritis apparently doing a number on her joints this morning. “Looks like your day is off to a rocky start, too, old girl.” Kate nuzzled her mane and neck, closing her eyes as she relaxed into the horse.
“I was happy to see you still have the old girl.” At the sound of Travis’s voice, Kate went back to combing the mare. While Travis hadn’t felt comfortable being on her farm when they’d dated, mostly because of her father’s dislike of him, B.C. and the other horses had accepted him.
Travis circled around the front of the horse and stroked the mare’s nose. “Good morning again, girl.”
She whinnied and nuzzled Travis’s cheek. Traitor.
“Sorry I don’t have any carrots with me, but I promise next time I’m in here, I’ll stock up first.” Ah, so he was still bribing her horse for its affection, same as he had back when he’d first visited the farm while they’d dated. Well, “bribing” was perhaps a bit harsh. He’d actually always had a rapport with B.C., more so than with the other horses on the farm. He’d had no background with horses, having grown up in a large family in South Louisville that couldn’t afford the luxury of owning and boarding horses, but he’d been a natural.
Kate had to look away from Travis’s strong hand caressing the mare’s coat. The way he used to trace his fingers along her skin… “My foreman has a couple of horses on his farm in Franklin, Kentucky, an hour or so north of Nashville, but we haven’t ridden in way too long.”
“So, other than the times we rode here…”—Oh, that didn’t come out right—“…you’re saying your riding experience is still pretty much limited to those trail rides your family took during your summer vacations?”
He grinned, meeting her gaze. “I make up for my relative inexperience with a strong dose of enthusiasm.” Considering how little he’d ridden, he’d always impressed her with his innate skill. “And I’m a very quick learner.”
Kate ducked her head, avoiding that amused twinkle in his eyes. Was he reminding her of their first time together? Heat stole over her cheeks and throat. Yes, Travis Cooper was definitely a very quick learner.
There had been a time when she’d thought the two of them might one day run this place together, before Travis had left for his internship in New York and she’d given him his freedom.
Don’t reminisce about impossible dreams.
If Travis ever found out about Chelsea, he’d want nothing more to do with Kate anyway.
* * *
Seeing his daughter so torn pained Ben to the core. When she discovered what he’d done, she would no longer be able to maintain the tight rein on her emotions that had helped her to cope with so
much already. The crushing ache in his chest was worse than what he’d felt in the physical world, including the heart attack that had ended his life. She’d followed in his footsteps, almost to a T. How was he going to fix this without losing her love forever?
Perhaps there was a way to help Kate see that she didn’t have to go it alone, even though he’d modeled that type of parenting to her for her entire life. He needed to fix this. Despite having done more than his fair share of meddling during his physical life, Ben wasn’t clear on what he was allowed to do from here. Surely he could do something to help these two wake up and smell the coffee.
“Obadiah, why don’t you spell out to me what the rules of engagement are from this side?”
“Damn the rules. All’s fair in love and war.” At the intrusion, Ben turned to find another spirit sitting next to him on the barn truss, much younger in appearance although he had an old-soul feel about him. “I didn’t follow rules in life, and I sure as hell don’t intend to start now.”
“Who are you?”
“Danny’s the name. I’m a former explosive ordnance disposal specialist with the US Army National Guard.” He projected an image of himself dressed in his fatigues. “I used to be anyway.”
Ben had been drafted into the regular Army, but didn’t remember anyone by the name of Danny in his unit. “Did we serve together?”
“When were you in?”
“1968-1971.”
“Not likely. I wasn’t born yet.”
Ben glanced down at Travis petting Buttercup and chatting with Kate and remembered Obadiah’s words. “You served with him then.”
“I did indeed. He was my sarge and later my best friend in the world. He made staff sergeant by his third tour, but I was medically discharged by then. I’d have followed that man to the ends of the earth. And beyond, obviously.” Danny narrowed his eyelids, and his gaze bore right through Ben, not that there was any barrier to stop him. “You’ve got your work cut out for you, man, if you expect to get Trav to help reach your daughter. He’s not very receptive to messages from us disembodied spirits.”
“What have you tried so far?”
“Came to him in a number of dreams.”
“No response?”
Danny shook his head. “None, except for the very last one. The one that got him to finally check on Katie yesterday—and not a moment too soon, either. He chalked all the others up to wishful thinking—or the nightmares of a grieving man.” Danny sighed. “That man thinks about me every day, but I don’t visit him in his dreams nearly that often.”
“How’d you know I’m hoping he’ll help me with Kate?”
“The Army’s grapevine has nothing on the one up here. We don’t even have to speak to know what’s going on. I think the Powers That Be want us to find connections amongst ourselves so we’ll have better success at whatever mission we’re working on. Anyway, when I heard the name Travis Cooper, I knew I had to check you out. I’m trying to piggyback on your mission.”
“Why?”
“Well, when I came to Trav in a dream a couple of days ago—urging him to come check on Katie—he finally listened. Or followed through, whether he heard me or not.”
“She goes by Kate.”
“I know you call her that, but I’ve only ever heard Trav call her Katie.”
What difference did it make to Ben? “Well, whatever you said, he listened that time.”
“Not because he actually thought it was me talking. Maybe he thought he was having a premonition.” Danny shrugged. “In Iraq, he kept us out of harm’s way a number of times by trusting his instincts.”
“I think a lot of us had those kinds of experiences in combat. How many tours?”
“Two—until I was sent home with a Purple Heart and an empty boot. Trav completed three.”
Danny remained quiet for a moment then pointed to the two of them below. “Anyway, here he is.”
“So that explains why he showed up yesterday out of nowhere.”
Danny nodded.
Ben sighed. “Unfortunately, I’m not sure Kate’s all that receptive to him, embodied or not. She’s one stubborn, independent woman.”
“Sounds like Trav’s perfect match, if you ask me.”
They watched in silence a moment. “Why do you need to get through to him so bad?”
“He thinks I killed myself.”
“You didn’t?”
Fire spit from the spirit’s eyes. “I’d never do anything like that.”
“Sorry, but I hadn’t met you until a few minutes ago. What makes Travis assume you did?”
Danny sighed. “Damned pain—both physical and mental—was too much that night. I self-medicated. Trav found me with a half-empty bottle of pain pills, but he didn’t seem to figure out how much tequila I’d finished off in the kitchen before that. Autopsy said the combination killed me, but it wasn’t intentional. I was actually having more good days than bad by then, mostly thanks to Trav and the guys at work. They gave me a sense of purpose again after losing my damned leg to an IED.”
Ben glanced down, but the man appeared to be whole to him.
“Of course I’m whole. Why would I spend eternity with that broken-down body? I’ve been restored to an earlier model.”
Ben smiled. He’d chosen to knock a couple of decades off his appearance, too. Not that the ravages of illness on the physical body were carried over into the afterlife anyway. “You know, he probably blames himself.” Ben had lost more Vietnam vet friends to suicide than he wanted to count. He’d harbored that guilt about a couple of the guys who’d killed themselves—ones he’d been closer to than most. He should have been there for them, too.
“Oh, I know he does. Has some kind of savior complex that makes him think he can be there to rescue everyone who needs it. But having him believe that bullshit is killing me all over again.”
“Why don’t you try to get his attention with a scent? My Kate knows I’m around when she smells pipe tobacco. What scent would he recognize as being from you?”
Danny chuffed. “Nothing he’d likely want to smell again.”
Ben laughed. He liked this fellow. Too bad Kate hadn’t met someone like him. Although if he had been heavy into booze and pills, well, maybe Travis was a better match. That man had a tight rein on himself that would be more what Kate needed. Strong, stable—why hadn’t he seen that in him when the kids were dating?
Danny must be ignoring Ben’s thoughts, because he continued, “Trav’s not one to go to a psychic medium, either, so I can’t reach out to him that way.”
“It’s too bad the spirit world and the physical one have to be so separated.” Ben sighed. “Kate doesn’t see me, either—and thinks it’s her subconscious or her memory when she hears me—so I don’t think I’d be able to relay a direct message to her to pass on to him.” Both looked down on the earthly plane again in silence.
After a long while, Danny said, “I managed one change to the physical world and got that deadbolt key into the lock so Trav could make a hero’s entrance to rescue the girl all Hollywood style. Maybe I can do something else like that.”
“That was you? I wondered why she’d even locked it, much less left the key in the lock. I often reminded her to lock the door at night, but she rarely did so during the daytime.”
“So any suggestions for how we can fix this?”
“We may not be able to.”
“With all due respect, bullshit, sir. I’ve never backed down from a fight. Not even one with my best friend there.” Danny laughed. “Drove Trav nuts when we first met in boot camp, but he managed to straighten me out enough to make it through.” He sobered. “Trav needs to know the truth.”
“What difference does it make if he knows it wasn’t suicide? You’re still dead to him.”
A pained expression crossed his face. “Yeah, but as long as he keeps blaming himself for my death, he’s never going to get on with his life. Right now, there’s something he needs more than anything else.” He
cast his gaze down at Travis. “That woman—your daughter—holds the key.”
Danny was right. Ben’s determination had never been greater than in this moment. “Now we just have to figure out how to make that happen.”
Chapter Four
Kate didn’t know why she started thinking about her dad, but she did. Shaking off her melancholy mood, she tried to regain her focus on her primary goal. “Thanks for your help this morning and yesterday, Travis, but there’s no need for you to hang around any longer. I have everything under control again.”
“If I didn’t know you so well, I’d think you were trying to get rid of me, Katie.”
Obviously, he didn’t know her as well as he liked to think he did. “Everyone calls me Kate.”
“You’ll always be Katie to me.”
Sadly, she’d never be anything to him. She’d blown that chance when she’d made her decision about Chelsea. But hearing him still calling her by the nickname melted her to the core. From his lips, Katie felt like a special endearment.
“Listen, I have work to do before my first student arrives and a busy day ahead.” Of course, he’d already taken care of most of her chores out here—and he knew it.
“Have you eaten breakfast yet?” he asked.
Damn. She’d forgotten all about it. If she kept this up, she’d be back in the hospital by this afternoon. The man had her rattled, for sure.
“I plan to eat as soon as everything’s done here.”
“What else needs doing?”
“Do all the horses have their feed?”
“Yep.”
He’d already mentioned cleaning all the stalls. “Well, it sounds like you’ve taken care of most of it.”
“What did I miss?”
Begrudgingly, she conceded the point. “Nothing, I guess.”
A smile lit his face, making his eyes twinkle in a way that caused her heart to ache for the future that she’d denied them. And now she intended to deny herself again, because any chance of a happy life for them was long gone.
Kate's Secret (Bluegrass Spirits Book 2) Page 5
