“Very.” She wanted to tell him more—about the divorce, about Grace, about the accident—but the time wasn’t right. Until the civil suit was dropped—until she knew what she and Tom were—until Grace was comfortable with his knowing that she’d been the driver that night, Deborah couldn’t say anything. There were a lot of if s to get past. She simply had to let the future play itself out a bit.
Not that she couldn’t give it a nudge. “Tom—”
“Deborah—”
“What?”
“Dinner? Later this week?”
She smiled. “I’d like that.”
She had just finished the last of the day’s paperwork when Greg showed up. She looked past him, expecting to see Grace as well.
“I dropped her at the bakery,” he explained. “Had a SoMa Shake with Dylan, and here I am. I’m heading back now. Thought I’d say goodbye.”
Deborah was pleased he had come. She did want their new relationship to be better. The calm she felt now was in part related to the scabbing over of the open sore their divorce had left. “How did it go with Grace?”
“Up and down. But increasingly up. She’s still asking why I left and what my life in Vermont gives me that this one didn’t. And she asks lots of questions about my relationship with Rebecca. I’m trying to explain that there are no comparisons between you and Rebecca. Rebecca could never do what you do here. She could never be the kind of mother you are.”
Still you left me, Deborah thought, but in a knee-jerk way. She had a better understanding now of why he’d left. The bitterness passed.
Taking the papers and her bag, she joined him at the door and flipped off the light. Walking him to his car, she said, “Thanks, Greg. Your being here has really helped.”
“For me, too. Coming back was like a sword hanging over my head. Now I know I can do it. And it is good for the kids, integrating our lives a little.”
She nodded. When they reached the Volvo, they hugged. It was an easy, comfortable gesture, a step forward in and of itself.
Deborah cooked dinner on the grill that night. She and the children needed to eat, and this night, Lívia’s offering wouldn’t do. Working together—Dylan wielded a mean spatula—they produced grilled chicken and garlic bread, a big fresh salad, and for dessert—a celebration—s’mores. Deborah had grown up making s’mores over a fire, and while a gas grill wasn’t quite the same, it came close. The marshmallows melted well, in turn melting the chocolate squares just enough so that, pressed between graham crackers, the tastes blended. Hot marshmallow oozed out the edges and fell to the flagstones. But that was fine. By the time the s’mores were gone, a slow rain had begun to fall to wash the drippings away.
“You go inside,” Grace told her mother, quickly stacking plates. “I’ll bring everything in.”
A week ago, Deborah might have let her. Today, she was in no rush. “I’m okay,” she said, gathering the lemonade pitcher and empty glasses.
“You hate rain,” the girl reminded her.
Deborah stopped what she was doing and straightened. Setting the pitcher and glasses back on the table, she took Grace’s hand. “Come.”
Grace shot her an amused look. “Where?”
Deborah didn’t answer, just led her deeper into the backyard. Turning so that they faced the house, she wrapped her arms around Grace’s shoulders from behind.
“Mom,” Grace protested, putting her hands on Deborah’s arms.
“Shh,” Deborah said softly. “Listen.” Raindrops were landing on the forest’s leaves, creating a gentle, cushioned sound that city-dwellers wouldn’t hear. “Very soft,” she whispered.
“What are we doing, Mom?”
“Making new memories.”
“Of what?”
“You. Me. Life.” Slowly, she let her arms drop. Coming to Grace’s side, she slipped a hand into hers and, closing her eyes, turned her face to the sky. “What do you feel?”
“I feel like my mother’s flipped out,” Grace said, but her fingers clung.
“Seriously. Do you feel the rain on your face?”
There was a brief pause, then an indulgent, “Yes.”
“What else do you feel?”
“Wet.”
“Okay. Just breathe, slowly and deeply.” She waited a minute. “Slowly and deeply?”
“I am.”
“What do you feel now?”
There was a long pause, then a tentative, “Free.”
“Anything else?” Deborah asked.
“Yeah.”
“What?”
“If I tell you, you’ll think I’m the one flipping out.”
“No. I won’t. Tell me.”
It was another minute before Grace said a bemused, “Cleansed,” at which point Deborah hugged her tightly. They had gone through so much in the last two weeks, and there was more to go through yet. The D.A. had to decide on the civil suit; Grace had to find her place back in school; Dylan had to deal with his eyes; Deborah had to feel her way along with Tom. Calvin McKenna’s death would always be a part of their lives. But so much else had been resolved, and they survived.
She hugged Grace again. “Definitely cleansed. We start fresh.”
Grace returned the hug. “I’m not you,” she warned.
“So I’ve learned. But your heart is so in the right place.”
The words were in tune with the sound of the rain, but then other music drifted from Dylan’s window. It was the boy at his keyboard. After listening a minute, Deborah began to sway.
Grace joined her, humming. Soon, laughing, they sang along. “I’d be sad and blue…if not for you.”
Acknowledgments
I am deeply indebted to Bob Delahunt for information on law; to Ellen Gilman for information on eyes; to doctors Sherry Haydock and Lynn Weigel for information on practicing medicine; and to my son, Andrew, for information on track. Many thanks to my assistant, Lucy Davis, for exquisite organization; to my agent, Amy Berkower, for brilliant management; and to my editor, Phyllis Grann, for bold direction.
To my whole family, always, my thanks and love.
Reading Group Companion
Introduction
Showcasing the taut, perceptive storytelling that has made Barbara Delinsky one of America’s most alluring novelists, The Secret Between Us features a family that is forced to confront its greatest frailties while hiding a dangerous secret from their small-town community.
The questions and topics that follow are designed to enhance your reading of The Secret Between Us. We hope they will enrich your experience of this riveting novel.
Discussion Topics
1. What did the scenes depicting the accident reveal about the family dynamics between Deborah and Grace?
2. How does Deborah reconcile her role as a mother with her role as a daughter? What aspects of her upbringing does she try to avoid repeating?
3. Do Jill and Deborah remember their mother the same way? How is their family affected by her absence? What accounts for the distinctions between Jill’s and Deborah’s paths in life?
4. Discuss the power and lack of power created by the many secrets woven throughout the novel. Which deceptions (including self-deceptions) harm the characters the most? Which deceptions are unavoidable?
5. Compare Grace and Dylan. How do they cope with their vulnerabilities? Do they respond to their parents’ divorce in essentially the same way, or are their temperaments distinct?
6. Why was Calvin so secretive during his lifetime? What do his brother’s observations about their childhood tell us about Calvin’s outlook on life?
7. Why was it difficult for Karen to realize the truth about Hal’s infidelity? What sustains marriages such as theirs?
8. What does it take for Deborah to trust Tom? How might their relationship have unfolded without the tension of a possible lawsuit on the part of Calvin’s widow? In Tom’s case, did the law help or hinder his quest for the truth?
9. Is Grace’s wish to take responsibility for the
accident related to her feelings about her parents’ divorce? Does Greg respond appropriately to her self-destructive behavior?
10. What was Greg looking for when he married Rebecca? How is his perception of himself and his family transformed in the novel’s closing chapters?
11. Why does Grace give Danielle the cold shoulder when she so badly needs someone to talk to? What do their fathers have in common?
12. What is it like to live in a close-knit community such as Leyland? On what basis do the residents judge one another? How would Deborah and Grace’s situation have changed if the accident had taken place in a large city?
13. In the end, was justice served by John’s decision? What was his share of the responsibility in perpetuating the secret?
About the Author
The author of more than sixteen bestselling novels, Barbara Delinsky was a sociologist and photographer before she began to write fiction. A lifelong New Englander, she and her husband have three sons, two daughters-in-law, and a cat. There are more than twenty million copies of her books in print. Visit www.barbaradelinsky.com.
Also by Barbara Delinsky
Family Tree
The Woman Next Door
Coast Road
Three Wishes
For My Daughters
More Than Friends
PUBLISHED BY DOUBLEDAY
Copyright © 2008 by Barbara Delinsky
All Rights Reserved
Published in the United States by Doubleday, an imprint of The Doubleday Broadway Publishing Group a division of Random House, Inc., New York.
www.doubleday.com
DOUBLEDAY and the portrayal of an anchor with a dolphin are registered trademarks of Random House, Inc.
This book is a work of fiction. Names, characters, businesses, organizations, places, events, and incidents either are the product of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, events, or locales is entirely coincidental.
Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data
Delinsky, Barbara.
The secret between us / Barbara Delinsky.—1st ed.
p. cm.
1. Mothers and daughters—Fiction. I. Title.
PS3554.E4427S423 2007
813'.54—dc22
2007031294
eISBN: 978-0-385-52545-9
v3.0
The Secret Between Us Page 29
