“I’m more worried about the fact that you feel like you have no friends except me and Cary,” Joan said. “Sweetie, that’s not healthy.”
“I’m friends with Emmie. Kind of.” She sniffed. “And Daisy.”
“When was the last time you had lunch with Daisy?”
“I don’t know. We’re both always working.”
Joan let out a hard breath. “You know, you moved back here after college with Calvin in tow. Your whole life revolved around him and Abby. After Dad died, both of you worked so damn much. Then Calvin was gone, and it was just you holding everything together.”
Melissa shrugged. “Mom, what else was I supposed to do? Leave a pump broken because I wanted to meet Daisy for lunch? Ranching doesn’t work that way.”
“I know.” Joan pursed her lips. “I think the hardest thing about working for yourself is you don’t have work friends. It was the same with your grandfather. When I was teaching, I made so many friends. I’m still close with most of the women I worked with, but you don’t have that, and I’m sorry.”
Melissa shrugged. “I have you. I have Abby.” And Cary.
“I think you’re more afraid of losing your friendship with Cary than you are of Abby losing him. Because she’s not going to lose him. That man is Gordon Nakamura’s son. Loyalty is as natural for him as breathing.”
“I know Cary is loyal.”
“Then you know that you need to leave Abby out of this. This is about you and Cary and your fear of things changing.”
Melissa sat with that advice for a long time. She took a deep breath. “Most of the big changes in my life haven’t been good, Mom.”
“Dad leaving.”
Melissa nodded.
“Grandpa dying.” Joan stroked her hair. “Then the baby. Then Calvin.”
“I know why Dad left,” Melissa said. “But why didn’t you ever get married again? Was it because of me and Ox?”
Joan pulled away. “Is that what you think?” She shook her head. “That I had to devote my entire life to you kids? That’s ridiculous logic. And you kids had nothing to do with me staying single.”
“Then what was it?”
“I never…” Joan’s smile was sad. “I never loved any man as much as I love your father. I still love him. And he loves me too. He’s never married anyone else.”
“So why did he leave?”
“He’s just not cut out for the settled life. He’s one of those men who has to drift, and frankly he does better with horses than with people. He tried his best to stay here. Heck, we even tried him living away part of the year.”
“I remember that. It didn’t work.”
Joan shook her head. “We fought all the time. It was better for him to go. I had your grandpa. I had Gordon and Rumi next door. Lots of friends and my job. If I met someone I loved more, I would have gotten married. I just didn’t.”
“And Dad picked being alone.”
Joan nodded. “Yeah. He did. There’s a little bit of that in your character too, Lissa. That desire to be independent. That fear of depending on others. I worry about you. Now more than ever.”
“I depended on Calvin,” she whispered. “And he left me.”
Joan sighed. “It wasn’t his choice, but yeah. He did.”
“I thought I’d gotten the happy ending, Mom. I thought if I did everything right, I’d be safe. But that’s not the way it works.”
“And now Cary is asking you to open up that door again and you’re afraid.”
She rubbed her temples, trying to combat the headache she could feel forming. “If you give your heart to someone, they can do whatever they want with it. They could crush it in their hands, not even realizing.”
“Or they can take care of it. Guard it. Help it grow.”
“I guess.”
Joan smiled. “Life is never gonna be safe. You know that. But there’s no reason you can’t find joy. Even after you’ve lost the life you wanted. Let yourself find a new dream. There’s no reason it can’t be just as sweet. But you’ve got to open up a little bit. Trust a little bit. Bend a little bit.”
The next day, Melissa left Brian Montoya’s crew working on the bunkhouse and drove to Cary’s office. She didn’t see his truck anywhere, but she drove up and flagged Phil, his foreman, down.
“Hey, Melissa!”
“Hey, Phil.” She looked around. “He in?”
“He’s out at Dapple Ranch looking at the mandarins. We’re set to start picking there next week.”
“That’s early.”
“Yeah, but that little spot hits a real high sugar content early because of the exposure. Lets us space things out a little better and gives us an early start. You contract any crews yet?”
“No interest.”
Phil spread his hands. “You know we could work something out. We’ve got groves all around you.”
If one of your friends needed a hand, you would bend over backward…
Bend. Just a little.
Melissa took a deep breath. “Yeah. I’d appreciate it, Phil. Let’s plan on that. I’m looking at a pretty standard window. Probably late October.”
Phil looked surprised, but he smiled. “Cool! I’ll talk to Cary and Teresa and get the timing worked out. I know we can handle it. Your trees will be fast.”
Part of the knot in her stomach loosened. “Thanks.”
She turned her head when she heard Cary’s truck. He must have spotted her, but he drove right past, dust flying, and parked near the office door in the shade of an avocado tree.
Phil glanced between Melissa and Cary. “So… you the reason he was in a sour mood all morning?”
Melissa grimaced. “Probably.”
“Awesome.” Phil backed away. “I’m gonna get out of your hair. I’ll have Teresa call you. And I’ll make sure no one goes to the office until you leave.”
“Probably a good idea if they want to avoid flying objects.”
She hopped out of the truck and walked over to the large grey Quonset hut where Cary had built his office.
He was already out of his truck and strode inside, not even looking at her.
Melissa followed.
So this should be fun.
When she opened the door, a blast of cool air met her face.
“Close the door! We’re not air-conditioning the whole damn county.”
Oh yeah. He’s in a great mood. This should be super easy.
Melissa closed the door and stepped into the office. There was a reception room of sorts with a long, L-shaped desk. To the left was a meeting room with a conference table, and two offices were built off the right.
“Phil, was Melissa here to—?”
“It’s me.”
Cary fell silent.
Melissa walked to his office and leaned in the doorway. “Hey.”
“Hey.” He didn’t get up. He didn’t approach her. He crossed his arms over his chest and eyed her warily.
“I came to apologize.”
“For?”
Melissa took a deep breath. “First, for assuming that you’d ever abandon Abby or ignore her if something didn’t work out between us.”
He waited a long moment before he nodded. “Okay.”
“I know you wouldn’t do that. I know it, and so does she. That’s why she can be kind of a brat with you sometimes, because she knows that you’re not going to stop caring about her.”
Cary kept staring, but he didn’t move and his expression didn’t soften. “Okay.”
Bend. Just a little.
“And second, I want to apologize for…”
Why was this so hard? Stripping off her clothes and dancing naked down Main Street in Metlin would be easier than this.
“For?”
“For being afraid,” she said in a small voice. “You’re probably my best friend, Cary—when we’re not at each other’s throats because we’re fighting about something stupid—and the thought of changing that is terrifying. Because if…” She cleared her thro
at. “If I didn’t have you, I don’t know what I’d do.”
He unfolded his arms and leaned his elbows on his desk. The black outline of a dragon on his forearm was all she could look at. His muscles were flexing, and she wanted to touch them. Somehow, if she just touched him, she knew everything would feel better.
Cary asked, “So what are you saying?”
“I’m apologizing.”
“What do you want?”
You. She couldn’t say it. Not when she was so exposed.
He continued, “You want us to be friends again? Just friends? Because I can’t lie, Melissa, that’s not what I want anymore, and I’m not saying I can’t get back there, but I kind of need some time.”
“I want…” She let out a breath. “I don’t know exactly what I want. I know I want you to not be angry with me. Can we pretend my freak-out and our argument last night didn’t happen and start from there?”
“I don’t know,” he said. “I have to think about that.”
See? When you handed someone your heart, they could do whatever they wanted with it. Including crush it in the palm of their hand.
“Right.” Melissa nodded and turned to go. “Okay.”
Cary didn’t say anything. He let her walk to the door. But just as she was opening it, he came storming out of the office. He slammed one hand on the heavy metal door, smashed it shut, and flipped the dead bolt.
“I thought about it.”
Chapter Eighteen
He knew how much it had taken for her to come to him like that and bare her soul. Because that was exactly what she’d done. She’d bared her soul. Or at least as much as Melissa was ever going to bare.
You’re my best friend…
Changing that is terrifying…
If I didn’t have you, I don’t know what I’d do.
“I know you’re not clear on what you want.” He leaned down and spoke in her ear. Her back was to him, and her hand was on the doorknob. His hand held the door shut as his body came to life in her proximity. “So I’m going to tell you what I want.”
She didn’t say anything, but she nodded.
“I want you to be my girlfriend, as ridiculous as that word sounds to a forty-six-year-old man. I want to see you exclusively, I want you to exclusively see me. No other people involved. That’s not negotiable.”
She nodded.
“I want to kiss you whenever I want. I know you probably have your own timeline about telling your daughter, and I respect that, but I’m not going to hide you or us from anyone else. I’m not going to pretend the only thing I feel for you is friendship, whether it’s to our friends, our employees, or our families.”
She took longer to nod on that one, but she did.
He put his hands on her hips and pulled her closer. “I want to make love to you. Not in this office. Not in the bunkhouse. Not sneaking around like a couple of kids. I want you to come to my house and stay over the next time Abby is at her grandparents’ house.”
Goose bumps rose on her neck.
She wanted that. She definitely wanted that.
Cary slowly bent down, brushed her braid to the side, and laved her nape with his tongue. He placed openmouthed kisses over her shoulders and her neck. He wrapped his arms around her waist and turned her until their mouths met.
The fire went from simmering to explosive in the space of a heartbeat. Melissa threw her arms around his neck, and Cary reached down to pick her up. He placed his hands on her ass and lifted. Melissa wrapped her legs around his hips.
“Conference table,” she muttered.
“We are not having sex on my conference table.” He spoke between kissing her. “I’ll never be able to have a co-op meeting in here again.”
“Need…” She put her hand over the erection that had sprung to life the minute she walked through the door.
Fuck. Melissa left Cary feeling like a teenager. He batted her hand away. “Thursday night. After the market.” He kissed her mouth. Her cheek. Her neck. “Put Abby to bed and come to my place.” He placed her on the edge of the sturdy conference table and cupped both cheeks in his hands. “You don’t have to stay, but come over, okay?”
“Yes.”
She was saying yes, but she was also trying to unbutton his shirt.
“Missy—”
“I just”—she pulled her mouth from his and rested her forehead against his chest, panting—“I need you. I need to know I didn’t ruin this.”
“You didn’t ruin this.” He shook his head. “You didn’t— Ahhhhh.”
She’d unbuttoned his jeans and drew his zipper down, putting both her hands on his erection.
“Fuck, Melissa.”
The corner of her mouth turned up. “You said we couldn’t do that in here.”
“You don’t have anything to prove to me.” He put his hands on hers. “I don’t want…”
Her hand stroked up and down over his boxers. “You don’t?”
“Melissa.” Cary put his hand on her cheek and kissed her hard and deep. “Of course I do. I’m just saying you don’t have to—”
“I know I don’t have to. Who says I don’t want to?” She hooked one arm around his neck and leaned into him, capturing his mouth as she pushed him back. She slid off the table, tucked her hands in the sides of his jeans, and pushed them down as she sank to her knees.
Cary couldn’t take his eyes off her.
She looked up at him, his cock in her hand. “Okay?”
All he could do was nod.
This is a dream.
This is a dream.
“Fuck!” He slammed his hand on the table when Melissa took him in her mouth.
If this was a dream, it was a really fucking good one.
She took her time, stroking in and out, tasting the length and thickness of him. Cary braced one hand on the table so he didn’t fall over and the other on the side of her cheek, going slowly insane as he saw, felt, and heard Melissa giving him head.
She scraped her nails lightly along the back of his thighs, and he thought he might just die from pleasure right then.
The tightening anticipation of climax approached too quickly.
“Missy,” he groaned. “Missy, I’m going to—”
She took him deeper and he came in her mouth.
Cary’s knees nearly buckled. Melissa stood, her hand over her mouth, and grabbed the tissue box in the center of the conference table. She wiped her mouth and lay back on the table, stretching out on her side. She had a small, smug smile on her face.
“Give my apologies to the co-op,” she whispered.
Cary started laughing and he couldn’t stop. He hitched his pants up, leaned over her, and kissed her smiling mouth. Then he started to tease her shirt up.
She gasped. “What about the sanctity of the conference table?”
“This table has lost all sanctity. Might as well ruin it completely.” He kissed up her belly, teasing his fingers along her waistband. He stopped just south of her rib cage and ran his fingers up, pushing her T-shirt out of the way.
He glanced up to see her watching him, her lips swollen and red, her blue eyes trained on him. “You like seeing me with my mouth on you?”
“Yes.”
“How long have you wanted me?”
Her breath caught. “Honestly?”
“Yes.”
“Four years.”
Cary propped his chin on her belly and silently unhooked the clasp of her bra, spreading it so her breasts were exposed.
“You hid it well,” he said. “Not hidden now though.”
“No.” Her breath was coming fast.
He stood, bent down, and took her breast in his mouth, covering the sensitive tip with his mouth and teasing it with his tongue. Melissa’s body arched up and her knees bent.
Cary held her as she twisted on the table. He teased the top of her pubis beneath her jeans as he kissed her breasts. Her nipples were hard in his mouth. Her skin was flushed and hot.
“Cary—
”
“Do you like my mouth on you?”
“Yes.”
“Good.” He lifted his head, snapped her bra back into place, and pulled her shirt down.
Melissa blinked. “What?”
“I want you thinking about my mouth on you for the next few days until I see you Thursday night.”
“What?” She kicked at his leg, but he dodged her, laughing. “You’re mean!”
“Just a little.” He bent over her and took her mouth again. “But I love kissing you. I could kiss you for hours.”
“I love kissing you too.”
His smile was slow and he felt it down to his bones. “We’re gonna be fine, Miss Melissa Oxford. After all, you always know where you are.”
She put her hand on his cheek. “You think so?”
“I know so.” He turned his head and kissed the inside of her wrist. “Do you know what you want yet?”
“Do I have to know right away?”
“No.” He smiled a little. “I know what you need.”
She raised her eyebrows. “Oh really? What’s that?”
“I’ll tell you Thursday.”
Cary opened his computer up after Melissa left. Abby was getting out of school soon, and Melissa wanted to check on the workmen for the bunkhouse before she had to pick her up. She also needed to help her mom create a plan for the evening farmers’ market on Thursday.
Where they would share a booth.
And then they’d share a bed.
About damn time. Though his dick wasn’t complaining. It was feeling very happy just then. So happy, Cary wanted to take a nap on the couch in his office.
He didn’t. He looked at his financial portfolio and picked up the phone that he’d put on hold when he heard someone walk in the office. He’d thought it was Phil.
It wasn’t.
He dialed his broker again, waited a few rings for her to pick up. “Paulette. Sorry about that. Had an unexpected meeting. What did you find out?”
While he was talking with Paulette, he brought up a picture he’d taken at Abby’s birthday of Melissa and Abby laughing and pointing at the camera. He hit Print from his phone and was waiting for the printer to warm up.
Grit: A Love Story on 7th and Main Page 17
