One thing I knew, this is what I wanted. I wanted to help people, to find the good and support it.
“Ahem.” A tall, blond man knelt in front of me, white streak prominently displayed. “Her most illustrious princessness wouldn’t happen to have time to walk with a lowly servant, would she?”
“What?” I laughed. It had been less than a day since I’d seen Ren, yet I’d missed him.
“It was what Mari suggested I call you.” He shrugged.
Why had he been talking to Mari about me? I took Ren’s hand and waved to my mother, who watched us carefully with a look only a mother can give.
“Hurry,” I whispered to Ren. “Or she’ll start questioning us.”
He laughed and pulled me out of the throne room, down stairs, all the way to a familiar hallway near the bottom of the palace. We passed the dark doorway and the guard stationed in front. Janiis was behind it somewhere, getting a taste of his own dungeon. I couldn’t believe my mother had sentenced him to wait there until things could be sorted out, but she’d said, with a cold fury burning in her eyes, that he deserved the time—to consider all he’d done, and, more importantly, all he hadn’t done.
Ren didn’t stop until we reached the wide windows at the far end. The ocean stretched out in front of us, a bank of dark clouds swirling over the shore. It had stopped raining for the moment, but it would come again soon.
We stood side by side, watching the ebb and flow of the ocean, the constant motion permeating the silence with peace.
“Your mother is terrifying,” he finally said.
I snorted. “You have no idea.” He focused on the waves, and I focused on him. “I’m sorry about Cris,” I whispered.
He turned to me. I wasn’t sure if it was the clouds outside or something else, but his eyes had never been so blue.
“Why are you sorry? He almost killed you.”
I lifted a shoulder. “I’m sorry you lost your friend. I’m sorry I distracted you when he…when he—” I couldn’t finish. My adventure, my impetuous decision to go after my father had come at a heavy cost—more than just Cris’s life.
Ren’s fingers brushed down my arm and tangled with mine. That spark I’d first felt from him so long ago reappeared with a vengeance.
“I tried to give him a chance to change. Twice. Because of you.” He brushed his thumb along mine, sending trails of shivers up my arm. “I lost my friend long ago. But someone once told me I shouldn’t take responsibility for other people’s choices.”
I squeezed his hand. “That person sounds wise.”
His smile, which had been growing, dropped away. “I want to—” he started, then licked his lips and swallowed hard. My heart started beating faster. He was nervous. We’d survived so much in the past few days, what could he be nervous about? But his unease triggered my own. “Listen, I have to put my kingdom back together.” He looked at the ground and dug the toe of his boot into it. “And I didn’t want to leave without…”
Oh. I only kept from slumping out of habit. He was leaving.
“I…of course,” I said, unsure what else to say. We hadn’t come to any agreement. Hadn’t expected to have a future, let alone spoken of it. He had his kingdom to take care of.
Disappointment draped over me like a wet cloak. But I’d watched my mother single-handedly put Riiga back together; I would accept whatever he had to say with grace, and I would find a way to help others, to find the good and encourage it.
But, glaciers, would I miss him.
Ren shook his head. Gripped my hand tighter. “No, what I meant to say is, I have to put my kingdom back together, but”—he swallowed again, and my heart leapt at that three-letter word—“would you consider coming with me? As ambassador for Turia?” He rubbed the back of his neck with his free hand. “There’s so much to be done, and I could really use your help.”
The spark was back, lighting a fire in my veins. “Me?” I asked. “You want me to serve as Turia’s ambassador?”
He stepped closer, taking my other hand as well, our fingertips brushing, igniting the space between us. “I want you,” he said, his midnight-blue eyes deeper than the ocean and brighter than the moon. “Only you. I trust you.”
He leaned in slowly, asking permission. I tilted my chin up, my eyes falling closed, and his lips brushed mine. Once, twice. A kiss that said we had time. That we’d figure things out.
“Are you sure you should be kissing your ambassador?” I asked, breathless. He rested one hand on my cheek and ran his gaze over my features like a caress.
“Yes, I’m absolutely sure I should.”
I bit my lip. “As long as you don’t kiss all your ambassadors.”
His laugh echoed down the hall. I’d need to write about that sound later. Because that was a sound worth remembering.
ACKNOWLEDGMENTS
Drafting and revising this book as a pandemic ravaged the world wasn’t ideal. But as I spent more time with my family, without running from one thing to the next, I got to experience the best parts of life and remember that together, we can do anything. That it’s because of our relationships and the people around us that life is beautiful and joyous and sometimes hard—but also worth it.
This sophomore book tested and stretched me. I hope it was an escape for you, a reminder that you are more incredible than you give yourself credit for. Also, start giving yourself credit. It’s okay. I give you permission, if you need it.
My agent, Laura Crockett, has proved time and again that I am the luckiest author ever to be her client. Thank you for your guidance and support. And thank you to Dr. Uwe Stender and TriadaUS for your tireless efforts on behalf of this tired author.
I was lucky enough to have two fantastic editors championing this book. Thank you, Monica Jean, for helping me dig deeper into the heart of this story, and Hannah Hill, for your editorial genius and support in getting this book into the hands of readers.
The team at Delacorte Press is phenomenal at what they do: Beverly Horowitz, Tamar Schwartz, Cathy Bobak, Nathan Kinney, Drew Fulton, Kris Kam, Megan Mitchell, Megan Williams, and Jenn Inzetta. I maintain that copy editors are actual wizards, so thank you to Heather Lockwood-Hughes for transforming my words into magic.
Thank you to Alex Dos Diaz, who managed to outdo himself with this cover art (a feat I didn’t think possible), and Regina Flath, for designing another stunner.
My writing groups have supported me through everything and deserve all my thanks: Becca Funk, Camille Smithson, and Spring Rain; Adelaide Thorne, Amy Wilson, Brittany Rainsdon, Kelly Hamilton, Marla Buttars, Rebekah Wells, Sarah John, and Amber Goodson.
A special thanks to Lisa Johnson for designing the coolest website ever and Diane Thompson for having all the best ideas and enough talent to pull them off; and to the Clawson Family for the research trip and a much-needed escape from the weight of real life.
To all the friends and family and readers who reached out to say Shielded made a difference in your life, thank you for taking a chance on me. I wouldn’t be here without you.
My extended family need an extra heaping of credit: Dan, Kathryn, Claire, Oscar, Ivy, Lisa, Jacob, Ruby, Violet, Pearl, Mike, Amy, Jack, Holly, Diane, Mark, Dianne, Breanne, Kevin, Luke, Sam, Emma, Kyle, Aaron, Rowan, Alder, Collin, Berlyn, Christian.
My mom and dad always believed in me, and I wouldn’t be anywhere close to where I am without them.
To Cameron, thank you for proving the dedication in Shielded right again and again. Cason, Siena, Milo, and Bex: I didn’t think I could love you more, but I do. Every day.
To you, dear reader, you are strong enough. You are enough right now, and you’ll be enough in the future. Keep trying. Keep believing. Keep making a difference that only you can make. I believe in you.
ABOUT THE AUTHOR
KayLynn Flanders is a graduate of Brigham Young University
with a degree in English Language and a minor in editing. When she’s not writing, she spends her time playing volleyball, reading, and traveling. She lives in Utah with her family and thinks there’s nothing better than a spur-of-the-moment road trip. She is the author of Shielded and its sequel, Untethered.
kaylynnflanders.com
@kaylynnflanders
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