Crow Lee laughed happily. “Admit it, little Drood? I boast it. I glory in it! I’ve known all about Alpha Red Alpha for years and years, just waiting for someone in your family to be foolish enough to use it. I had the remote control, you see, the means to override the mechanism, but…”
I cut in. I knew he was teasing me, but I just couldn’t help it. I had to know.
“How did you get your hands on the remote control? Who did you get it from?”
“From the same person who first told me about Alpha Red Alpha,” Crow Lee said easily. “You have a traitor in your family, dear Eddie. A very old and very well-established, very well-hidden traitor. And I have always been so very well served by traitors. He hates you even more than I do, and with much better reason.…But as I was saying before I was so impertinently interrupted…I had to wait for someone in your family to feel so threatened that they’d actually risk using Alpha Red Alpha, before I could use my remote control. You see, you have to lower all the Hall’s protections before you can activate the dimensional engine. They interfere with its workings, apparently. Can you imagine what it was like for me, learning that you’d used the thing at last? And that all I had to do was wait for you to return and then hit the button on my special remote control? No, you can’t imagine what it felt like, knowing I finally had the means to send your whole stupid, interfering family away, forever.…
“I struck while you were vulnerable, and just like that, you were gone! Good-bye, Droods, forever! Rotated out of reality and dumped somewhere else. I do hope it turned out to be somewhere really appalling.…I sent them there and I left them there, and I laughed and laughed and laughed.…”
“And then you dropped the other Hall in its place,” I said, and something in my voice stopped his laughing. “To hide what you’d done.”
“Oh no,” said Crow Lee. “That was just a happy accident. An entirely unanticipated and fortuitous side effect. I did enjoy it, though. A wrecked and ruined Hall and dead Droods lying everywhere—what’s not to like? They weren’t the actual family I hated, but they were Droods, and I’m sure I would have hated them if I’d known them.”
“You bastard,” I said.
I started forward, and Crow Lee stopped me with an upheld hand. “Think, little Drood. Consider the implications of what I’ve done. Whatever happens next between you and me, I want you to understand that you cannot undo the one thing I’ve done that really matters. I have proven to the world…that Droods can be beaten. The wrecked Hall and dead Droods are proof of that, forever. Even if you do somehow escape my wrath and continue as the Last Drood, even if you somehow find a way to bring your nasty family back…the world will never see you as unstoppable again. I’ve seen to that.”
I had to smile. “All right. You’re reaching now.”
“Am I, little Drood?”
“Bring my family back,” I said. “And I promise I won’t kill you.”
Crow Lee lost his easy smile. He scowled fiercely at me. “No one gives me orders, boy. I’ve never needed a family to make me strong. I’ve never needed armour to hide behind. I made myself what I am through sheer force of will!”
“And by killing a whole lot of people,” I said. “Mostly through treachery, backstabbing, and getting other people to do your dirty work for you. Don’t try it on me. I’ve read your file.”
Crow Lee leaned forward in his chair and fixed me with his dark, disturbing gaze. And suddenly he was the most fascinating thing in the room. I forgot about everything else, forgot about Mr. Stab, forgot about Molly, forgot about my poor lost family. I was staring into Crow Lee’s eyes and I couldn’t look away. Didn’t want to look away. Crow Lee spoke directly to me, and his voice was the most compelling thing I’d ever heard.
“You don’t want to fight me,” said Crow Lee. “I am your friend. You know you can trust me. My enemies are your enemies. You want to protect me against my enemies. Like that woman standing beside you. You can’t trust her. You know that. She’s always getting in the way, meddling in your affairs. You want to be free of her. So kill her. Kill her for me and for yourself.”
All the time he was speaking to me, I knew it was all bullshit. Knew it, knew he was lying through his teeth. I didn’t believe a word of it, but still I couldn’t stop listening to him. He held me with his dark, hypnotic gaze and his persuasive words. I fought him with everything I had. Fought his influence and the words he was saying, and bit by bit I drew back from him.
I took a deep breath and looked away, breaking Crow Lee’s gaze. His influence was gone in a moment. He looked at me openmouthed, as though he couldn’t believe it, and I looked back at him and laughed in his face, just a bit shakily.
“Had me a little bit worried there for a moment, sweetie,” murmured Molly.
“Droods are trained to withstand mental challenges,” I said loudly and confidently. Because we are, but it had still been a bit too close for my liking.
“You dare defy me?” whispered Crow Lee. “You dare… ?”
“Were you bullied as a child?” I said. “Did they make your life hell at school? Is that what this is all about? Because this whole Most Evil Man bit strikes me as just so much overcompensation.”
Crow Lee turned his burning hypnotic gaze on Molly. “Kill him! Kill him!”
Molly just laughed at him. “Oh, come on. You have got to be kidding. I’m the wild witch, remember? The laughter in the woods and the lightning in the storm? Frankly, I’m offended you even thought that would work.”
She brought the bottle of gin to her lips, took in a good mouthful and then leaned forward abruptly and sprayed the whole lot across Crow Lee’s face. The stream of neat gin burst into flames as it left her lips, and Crow Lee screamed shrilly, like a small child, as flames leapt up all over his face. He wiped them away quickly with his bare hands, burning them too in the process, and jumped to his feet. His face was scalded bright red where it wasn’t flushed with rage, and his eyes were already puffing shut. He snapped his fingers imperiously at Mr. Stab.
“Do your job, old monster!” he said fiercely. “Rid me of these nuisances!”
There was a pause. Mr. Stab didn’t move a muscle. In his cold, calm voice he said, “Regretfully, I cannot. I fear you overestimate my abilities.”
Crow Lee stared at him blankly. “Do as you’re told, damn you! Kill them! Kill them both!”
“I can’t,” said Mr. Stab. “They’re a Drood and a Metcalf, and I’m just an ill-made monster. It’s a wise monster who knows his limitations.”
Crow Lee took control of himself, with an obvious effort. Drops of steaming gin were still falling from his burnt chin.
“I know there is a history between you and them. That should make it easier. That’s why I hired you!”
“Look at the Drood’s torc,” said Mr. Stab. “Look at his armour.”
Crow Lee stopped and then stared at me for a long moment before nodding slowly, grudgingly. “Ah yes. I do See what you mean.…Well, then, Eddie and Molly, we’ll do this little dance another day. When I’m…better prepared.”
He gave us both a sly self-satisfied smile and snapped his fingers loudly. And just like that he was gone. The oversized armchair was empty, and Mr. Stab no longer stood beside it. There wasn’t even an inrush of air to fill the space where they’d been. It was as though they’d never been there.
“No!” said Molly. “You can’t do that! He can’t do that, Eddie!”
“I think you’ll find he can,” I said. “And he has.”
“The bastard…” said Molly. “I was all fired up and ready to go, and he just…runs away?”
“Well,” I said. “You don’t get to be the Most Evil Man in the World by playing fair. Or fighting when you’re not sure the odds are in your favour. What did he mean about my armour, Molly? What did he See just then?”
“He must have realised you’re wearing rogue armour instead of what he was expecting,” said Molly, but she wouldn’t look at me while she said it.
“Mr. Stab surprise
d me, then,” I said, tacitly agreeing to change the subject. “I did try to kill him when he killed Penny, but I didn’t even come close. I never knew he rated me that highly. Or you, to be honest.”
“He wasn’t scared of us,” said Molly. “I think…he was just showing us professional courtesy.”
“Would you do the same for him?”
“Hell, no. I’ll kill him dead the first chance I get.”
“Good,” I said. “Because I think he’s cut us as much slack as he can. Do you really think he wants to die? You’ve known him a lot longer than I.”
“He’s always moped about his…condition,” said Molly. “But if he really wanted to be released from his curse, he would have found a way by now. It’s just a pose, a show he puts on in front of company.”
“He was your friend,” I said.
“Once upon a time and long ago,” said Molly. “I saw myself as a monster, so I went looking for others to keep me company.”
“What changed that?” I said.
She smiled at me. “You did, idiot.”
“Ah,” I said. “Yes.”
“That was a prearranged teleport spell,” said Molly, changing the subject yet again. “So carefully set in place even I couldn’t See it. Preprogrammed to take him and Mr. Stab out of here at a moment’s notice to a preselected destination. Very professional stuff.”
“Could he still be here, somewhere in the club?” I said.
“No. That had all the hallmarks of a long-range teleport. Probably all the way back to his country manor house in Surrey.” She looked at me thoughtfully. “Could you track him through the Merlin Glass? Go straight after him?”
“Possibly,” I said. “But you could bet good money that if we did, we’d be walking into a trap. God alone knows what kind of protections and reinforcements he’d have waiting for us there. This is a man who believes in planning ahead. Remember the private army? No. We’ll go after him, but only after we’ve taken some time out to work up a proper plan.”
“I said we needed a plan.…”
“And you were right.”
“But we can’t afford to give him time to prepare for us, Eddie! His country bolt hole is just crawling with booby traps and hired killers and full-strength nasty surprises! He has defences you wouldn’t believe!”
“It can’t be that bad.…”
“Yes, it can! I’ve seen it!”
There was a pause then as I looked at her thoughtfully. “And you know this how?”
“Because,” said Molly reluctantly, “I’ve been there. More than once. I did business with Crow Lee back in the day.”
“What? You worked with the Most Evil Man in the World? And you never thought to mention this before?”
“Don’t judge me!” Molly said hotly. “Don’t you dare judge me! My parents were dead, murdered by your family! I was desperate to avenge them. Ready to work with anyone who could promise me help or weapons to use against the Droods! Crow Lee was very understanding, very helpful.”
“Yeah,” I said. “I’ll just bet he was.”
“What about you? You went looking for help when your family made you rogue. You were ready to work with monsters, too!”
“Yes,” I said. “But I found you.”
CHAPTER EIGHT
Traffic Can Be Murder Sometimes
Molly and I still weren’t talking to each other when we left the Establishment Club, so it was just as well there was a distraction waiting for us. The Regent of Shadows had sent us a nice new car, along with one of his agents to explain why. I took my time looking over the car, and let the agent wait till I was ready to talk to her. The car was big enough that it took me a while to walk around it; a great red beast of a car, with white stripes, gleaming chrome and high tail fins. A classic of its kind from when Detroit dinosaurs roamed the earth, and about as conspicuous in London traffic as a piranha in an aquarium. I finally sat on the bonnet and gave the Regent’s agent an equally thorough inspection.
She smiled back easily, a very cool and poised middle-aged lady, still good-looking in a never heard of Botox and wouldn’t use it even if I had kind of way. Dressed in an elegantly cut tweed suit with a creamy white panama hat crammed down on her long grey hair and a flouncy white silk scarf round her throat. She just sparkled with charm and grace and gave every indication that she ought to be off organising a garden party somewhere. I was quite taken with her. Molly, less so.
“What the hell kind of car is this?” said Molly. “It couldn’t stand out any more if it had a target painted on it.”
“And hello to you, too, Molly Metcalf,” said the agent in a clipped, cut-glass, finishing-school voice. “I’m Diana, one of the Regent of Shadows’s most established agents. Hello, Eddie Drood! Delighted to meet you both. And this is a 1958 Plymouth Fury. Classic American muscle car, fully restored, with all kinds of useful extras. And, bless me, look at the chrome on that!”
“It is a bit conspicuous,” I said.
“It’s registered to the Regent,” said Diana. “An official Department of the Uncanny vehicle, with all the right papers filed in all the right places, so no one will bother you. And, after all, it’s not as if you can hide from Crow Lee’s all-seeing eye, no matter what you’re driving. Sneaking up on the Most Evil Man in the World was never going to be an option. I’m sure the Phantom V’s privacy shields were first-class; your Armourer always did do good work. But they won’t hide you from Crow Lee. His many agents will undoubtedly be watching all the roads for the Phantom V, but they won’t be expecting you in this. Word will get out, of course, but driving the Plymouth should buy you some wriggle room.”
“Very kind of the Regent,” I said. “I’ll take it. Does it come with a warranty?”
“She doesn’t even come with insurance,” said Diana. “She’s called the Scarlet Lady. Take her; we’re glad to be rid of her.”
“Why did I just know she was going to say that?” said Molly. “All right, what’s wrong with her?”
“She’s not been exactly…lucky,” said Diana. “In fact, we’ve searched her thoroughly several times, just in case someone accidentally built a dead albatross into her somewhere. But I think she just needs a firm hand on the wheel and a chance to prove herself.”
Molly looked at her. “I want the Phantom back. I knew where I was with the Phantom.”
“You never liked the Phantom and you know it,” I said.
“I like this even less,” Molly said firmly.
“Hush,” said Diana, “She’ll hear you.”
“Convince me,” I said.
“The Scarlet Lady has first-class protections, and more built-in weaponry than some third-world countries,” Diana said briskly. “She can hit Mach four with the wind behind her, can outrun anything on four wheels and can punch right through a brick wall without even slowing. And she has a sat nav programmed to take you straight to Crow Lee’s little hideaway down in Surrey. That is where he’s retired to, in case you were wondering.”
“We had already worked that out, thank you,” said Molly.
“How clever of you, darling,” said Diana, smiling sweetly at Molly for just a moment before giving me her full attention. “Eddie, there’s something I need to talk to you about. Not really any of my business, I know, but that’s never stopped me before.…I need you to consider this. I know you don’t want to think about it, but even if you do bring down Crow Lee and destroy his nasty little organisation, there’s still no guarantee you’ll be able to find or retrieve your lost family. You have to face the possibility that the Droods could be lost forever, wherever they are. You have to consider…that on this occasion, even your formidable best might not be good enough. Have you thought about what you’re going to do if there’s nowhere for you to go back to after this? And you really are the Last Drood. What will you do?”
“Carry on the family tradition, I suppose,” I said. “Fight the good fight. What else is there?”
Molly gave me a sharp look there, which I didn’t
understand till later. Diana gave me a brilliant smile.
“The Regent was…lost for a long time after he left his family. So he made himself a new family—his Shadows. That hasn’t changed just because we’re calling ourselves Uncanny these days. You could join us, Eddie, become a part of our family. I know it wouldn’t be the same—how could it?—but we would make you very welcome. And you, too, of course, Molly. You could do good work with us, both of you. You don’t have to be alone in the world.”
I could hear the sincerity in her voice. I had no doubt she meant what she was saying, and it did intrigue me. It also puzzled me that this should mean so much to her.
“Thank you,” I said. “That’s very kind, but…”
“He doesn’t need you,” said Molly. “He has me.”
“Think about it,” said Diana. She smiled briskly at both of us and was immediately all business again. “The Regent assured me that we’ll take good care of your Phantom V while you’re gone. You can pick her up again anytime you’re back in London, after this is all over.”
“I wouldn’t mess with the Phantom, if I were you,” I said carefully. “The Armourer builds his cars to look after themselves.”
“That’s Jack for you!” said Diana. “Never met a car he didn’t customise till it hurt. Trust me, I did raise that point most forcibly with the Uncanny car pool. The Phantom will be treated with the utmost respect.”
“You know the Drood Armourer?” said Molly, not even bothering to hide her suspicions.
“Of course,” Diana said easily. And then she just stood there, smiling easily.
“More secrets,” Molly said disgustedly.
“Of course,” said Diana. “We are secret agents, after all. Secrets are our business, our stock-in-trade. Now, I know what you’re thinking.…”
“No, you don’t,” said Molly. “Or you wouldn’t still be standing there.”
I could practically see the tension spitting and sparking on the air between them, so I made a big deal of going round to the driver’s-side door and opening it to look inside. The sat nav immediately turned itself on.
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