by T. L Smith
“Look, I know I’m not your mother, or even your grandmother, but I can still listen just as well as they can. Hell, probably even better. You know how women can talk,” he laughs in my ear. “Is it about a boy? Perhaps the captain or the friend?”
I sigh because I don’t know what to say.
“Listen, if it’s meant to be it will be. Don’t stress over anything. You’re not a girl to stress; I know, I raised you that way. You will meet plenty of people that will make you feel things you never expected. Some good and some bad, but sometimes, just sometimes, they will flip your world on its ass. And when that happens, Angel, you will know. You will know… that is your person.”
“I love you and you’re my person,” I say softly.
“As you are mine, Angel. I would not have gotten through life recently if it wasn’t for you. I love you and remember to rock the world.”
I try to hold back the tears, the tears that want to flow endlessly down my face. I do… I do when I pack my bags and I do when I answer Hillary’s call. Then comes the silence that follows when I enter the shower, the thoughts that endlessly loop in my brain. Then the tears break through, just one at first, then a few more and that’s all I can take. I turn the shower off and wipe my face clean. I’d be lost without my grandfather and the thought squeezes my heart.
I don’t think today is my day and last night was definitely not my night. Why should today be any better?
I know I have to go and see Kyrone today because I have to say goodbye. To clear the air, as they say so I can leave without something wanting to pull me back. Then there’s a part of me screaming that I’m lying to myself.
I grab my phone from my bed and make my way to his house. Everyone will probably be sleeping since it’s early, but I have to see him. I need to tell him I care for him and that I wouldn’t intentionally hurt him. I don’t think I could end what we had on a bad note. It needs to be good because he is good, no matter how hard he hides it sometimes.
When I reach his house, it’s very quiet, so I let myself in. People are passed out on the floor and sofas. I make my way up the stairs and when I reach his door, I don’t know if I should knock or not. I haven’t been in here on my own. It’s usually Kyrone carrying me in. I decide to knock, in case he has company, which is not something I want to see today. Just as I go to knock the second time, the door flies open with a topless Kyrone on the other side, looking very hungover and delicious. My eyes travel down his sculpted body and back up again. When I reach his face, he’s smiling and, of course, I get butterflies.
“Didn’t think I would see you today, Greeny,” Kyrone says, walking away and leaving the door open for me to enter. I follow him and he drops his jeans and climbs back in bed. I stand there awkwardly, unsure of what to do.
“I wanted to talk to you about last night and to say goodbye,” I say, biting my nails. He’s making me nervous. He sits up in bed and the look he gives me is so mixed, it’s hard to read.
“What? When do you leave?” he asks.
“I leave this coming week.” I’m standing near his door, watching his face become a work of art. His expressions are mixed, as they go from confused, to angry, to upset.
“I knew you were leaving early, but I didn’t think it was that early.”
“Yeah, it’s for the best. I just wanted to say goodbye and to thank you.”
“Thank me for sex?” He raises his eyebrows playfully, but some part of him isn’t happy.
“Oh yes, and that,” I say, winking at him.
“Don’t forget the orgasms. I’m a fucking God at those.”
“Oh, how could I ever forget? No one will ever get me to the point that Kyrone Masters can,” I say, placing a hand on my heart and smirking at him.
“Damn straight woman and don’t you forget it. I do have a magical cock after all.”
“Yes, and what magic it creates, but try not to catch anything while you’re off fucking the state of Texas,” I caution.
“Deal, Greeny,” he promises softly.
“Thank you for being my friend as well,” I say, much quieter this time.
“You know, it was only so I could get between your legs,” he replies, trying to contain his laugh as he walks toward me. I look up at him when he reaches me I smile.
“Oh, yes I do. I will miss you,” I say, looking directly into his eyes.
“I will miss you, too,” he says, then surprises me by leaning down and touching his lips to mine. Not in a sexual way, but soft and nice. It makes my heart race. His lips stay on mine for what feels like ages, but without either of us moving to go any further. There’s no positive outcome to be gained and I think we both understand that.
The moment his lips leave mine, I miss them, the warmth of such a gentle and sweet kiss. I look at him and see him watching me.
“Leave now, Greeny, before I tie you to my bed so you can never leave.” His eyes are locked on mine with something shining in them.
* * *
I leave that morning and don’t see or talk to Kyrone for a full year. He never leaves my mind and I think a part of him will stay glued there till the end of time, no matter what role my life takes.
My life is busy. As a matter of fact, it’s so busy I hardly have time for myself, let alone anyone else. On the days I’m not at the magazine, I’m teaching dance at night and even the weekends. Hillary tells me I will burn myself out if I keep it up the way I’m going. Maybe she’s right, maybe she’s wrong, but I’m enjoying keeping myself busy. Taking life by the horns and riding it for all it’s worth is fun. I’ve spent one whole wonderful year at FAM magazine. I’ve grown and changed since my time here. I’m not the same girl I once was. I didn’t think I’d change, but I guess living in the adult world does that to you. You grow up faster and start to have bigger goals set for you. I miss the people I haven’t seen in over a year, but I see them everywhere without actually seeing them if you know what I mean?
About six months ago, I went out for a night with Hillary. It was her birthday and I took the Sunday off just for her. Plus, I knew we were going to drink ourselves into oblivion. I didn’t expect to see a familiar face out that night, though. Tick, the bad boy from Texas, who’s come all the way to the Big Apple.
He isn’t a man of many words, but he is a man of action. He spotted me at the bar, walked across and kissed me. He’d done this before, but this time was more of a shocker. I haven’t seen him or spoken to him since I left Texas. I hadn’t been with anyone since Kyrone. I haven’t met anyone that could live up to his obnoxious ways. Seeing Tick brought a familiarity and I knew when his lips landed on mine, I would fuck him that night. What I didn’t expect was for it to last as long as it did. I hardly had time to fit him into my life, but he was flexible with his time more than anyone. He’d sneak into my room when I got home, or be there ready and waiting for me. He never stayed the night and I never wanted him to. Our friendship was just sex and that’s something we were both comfortable with.
It lasted for four months, until one night, he was there earlier than expected and I came home to him chatting with Hillary. They were both smiling when I walked in, which I’ve never seen him do. Her eyes were glowing. When she realized why he was there, she left, not looking happy at all. Tick and I stopped that night, simply because we were just too busy. I’m pretty sure the real reason was because of a beautiful brunette that lives with me.
Hillary is hardly home anymore and I’ve not seen Tick again. Don’t get me wrong, that doesn’t upset me in the slightest, I only wanted him for one thing. It was easy… no feelings getting hurt. I asked her once about him, she tried to hide her smile, but I could see it. She likes him and I’m pretty sure whatever Tick’s standards are for liking a girl, he likes her too.
I look different than a year ago. My hair is no longer vibrantly colored, it’s now a soft brunette with blonde foils through it. I no longer wear my silly shirts, though I still have them, and I dress more like a lady now, one that looks like she h
olds down a busy career. My boss has become a close friend. I work for her as a receptionist. It’s not the job I originally wanted, but it’s one she needed and I couldn’t refuse the paycheck that came with it. My grandfather paid for the first three months on my apartment. I was to pay from then on, which I can easily afford now that Hillary is living with me.
It’s late Thursday night when I reach our apartment. I’ve just finished teaching some five-year-olds ballet lessons for the night. Before I get a chance to open the door, it swings open with Hillary’s smiling face on the other side. I look up at her and give her an awkward smile because I have no idea why she’s smiling so bright.
“I just spoke to Melinda and I got you some time off work. We’re heading back to Texas for the week,” she says, with the smile never leaving her face. My awkward smile, on the other hand, has turned to shock.
“What?” I walk past her to enter the apartment. Our second-floor apartment is simple and small, but we don’t need much. It has two bedrooms, a basic black and white kitchen, and a three seater sofa in front of our barely used television.
“We are going on a vacation and Katrina is meeting us at the airport. Oh my God, I’m so excited! I don’t even know what to pack. Shit, we have to pack! We leave in a few short hours.” Hillary starts rushing around, grabbing things and throwing them into her suitcase. I stand watching her with my eyebrows drawn together, not doing anything. She notices, stops, and looks back at me.
“Get dressed, CJ, and pack your stuff. We have to go!”
“I haven’t even booked a flight, Hillary,” I say, stating the obvious.
“Of course you didn’t, I did.” She grins and I walk past her to go to my room. I don’t really have the time to go and I have work to do, but apparently she’s handled all that as well.
“Hillary, why is Katrina picking us up?” I call out to her, grabbing a suitcase.
“Well, because she’s getting married, of course. I swear to God, you never check your Facebook.”
“What? Since when?” She walks to my door and smiles.
“Since two months ago, but she’s having a small wedding and only wants close friends.”
“Hillary, I’m not her close friend. I haven’t spoken to her in months. Shit! I didn’t even know she was getting married,” I tell her, once again stating the obvious.
“You're busy! Hell, I bet you didn’t even notice Tick sneaking out every morning,” she blurts out, then covers her mouth with her hands. I certainly did not expect that.
“What? Holy shit, Hill,” is all I can manage to say.
“It's not weird, is it? I wanted to tell you a few times, but he said you weren’t involved in a real relationship. I know you said it as well, but it’s still weird, right?” She looks at me like I’m about to give her bad news like I will tell her she shouldn’t date him, or whatever they’re doing.
“Hill, it’s fine, really. I didn’t like him that way at all, as he said. He was just there when I needed a physical connection, nothing more.”
“Okay, now that’s out of the way, let’s pack… the cab will be here in like ten minutes.”
Our flights were quiet and by the time we land in Texas, it’s early morning. We are met with Katrina’s beaming face. Hillary runs to her and hugs her so tightly, I think her eyes are about to pop out of her head. She sees me when Hillary lets go of her and walks across to hug me. I have spoken to Katrina since I’d left, but that was mostly through messages or Facebook. I hardly have the time to call anyone, let alone have a conversation with them.
“Congrats to you and Tanner,” I say as she pulls back from the hug. She smiles at me, but it’s a forced one.
“It’s not Tanner! Hillary was right, you hardly check Facebook, do you?” she laughs.
“Huh? Sorry, what?” I ask her, truly confused.
“His name is Ben. He’s a friend of the family. I love him so much and I can’t wait for you to actually meet him.” She smiles this time, really brightly. Well, that’s news I wasn’t expecting. I will have to ask Hillary later what happened to them. I thought for sure it would be their wedding we are attending. Hillary notices the confusion on my face and mouths, “later.”
“I set up your rooms last night, but the house is pretty packed with all our guests. I made sure you girls each have your own room, though.”
“How many people do you have staying there?” Hillary asks as we make our way to her car and get in.
“Just some of my friends. Ones that I have made recently and some that I’ve met through football with the boys.”
“Sounds like fun,” I say as we drive when I’m really thinking kill me now.
“I can’t believe how much you’ve changed, CJ. You look so different. I love the new you.”
“She has. She’s busy now. I hardly ever see her and I live with her,” Hillary chimes in, turning to smile at me.
“Should be a good week,” I say, changing the subject. Hillary knows exactly what I’m doing and turns back to Katrina to talk about the wedding. Katrina hasn’t changed one bit. She’s still as beautiful as she was in college, but my mind can’t stop wondering if I will see two famous football players this week, and what will happen if I do?
Katrina wasn’t lying when she said the house would be packed. There are people everywhere and most I’ve never met. The house, though, is outstanding. It’s something I pictured for Katrina, elegant and stylish. It’s basically a mansion; well, to me it is. She said there are ten bedrooms and twelve bathrooms. Why someone would need twelve bathrooms is beyond me. Once we’ve placed our stuff in our rooms, we go back down to meet everyone, including Ben. He isn’t as good looking as Tanner, but he loves Katrina like crazy. His hands never leave her. He’s always trying to find a way to touch her and make sure she’s never out of his reach. He’s older than us, I would say early thirties at best. He’s as polite as Katrina and watching them together, I can see why they’re getting married. They clearly love each other.
“CJ, Katrina has told me so much about you, though must say you don’t look anything like she described,” Ben says while we walk outside to meet the other guests.
“Growing up does that to a person, I guess,” I reply, shrugging my shoulders.
“You like New York, then?” he asks, making conversation.
“Yes, I love it. What is it that you do, Ben?” I seriously want to know what salary pays for a house like this.
“You’re as straight forward as she said you were.” He laughs to himself. “I’m in real estate and I actually own a few places.” I nod my head as I come to understand how he acquired this house.
“Katrina said you’re good friends with the unstoppable twins,” I stop and look at him, having no idea who he’s talking about.
“Sorry, what?” I ask.
“Tanner and Kyrone… Katrina said you are good friends with them?” he questions me.
“Oh yes, I was. Sorry, why do you call them that?”
“They never lose a game when they play together. If only one is playing, then they lose but put them together and they are a force to be reckoned with,” he says happily. That statement makes me feel uncomfortable, but he’s smiling like he’s proud of the fact. Does he not know Katrina and Tanner used to fuck?
“You talk to them?” I ask, not understanding any of this.
“Oh yes, those boys are great. They’re welcome in my home anytime.”
“You do know Katrina was with Tanner, right?” He smiles, and his forehead crinkles. He looks like a businessman, in black slacks and a button up shirt with his brown hair neatly styled.
“Oh yes, that’s how we met. She was at one of his games and he introduced us.”
“This shit is weird,” I mutter under my breath, but I think he heard me as he very quietly laughs.
“The boys should be arriving soon, they’re coming for lunch,” he says once his laughter dies down. “You should be excited. I’ve heard your name mentioned by them a few times, they seem ver
y fond of you,” he says with a smile then he walks away to find Katrina.
“Fond of me, my ass,” I whisper to myself.
“Well, you do have a nice ass,” a voice startles me from behind. I turn to see Tanner standing there looking much better than he should. I smile, even with our past it’s good to see him.
“Thanks,” I reply quietly and watch as Kyrone spots me from behind Tanner. I avert my eyes and look at Tanner. “So, this situation isn’t weird at all,” I say, waving my hand around. He laughs and it makes me happy, I’ve missed him.
“It’s not as weird as you’re probably thinking. Katrina and I were never meant to be. Ben’s a good guy, the one she’s meant to be with.” His eyes hold mine and I have to look away, I feel like he’s trying to say something.
“Well, well, look what the cat’s dragged in, and without crazy hair,” Kyrone’s voice booms over ours. Tanner smiles and leans in to cuddle me before he walks off. I’m left standing at the back door with the massive and gorgeous Kyrone looking down at me like I’m his next meal.
“You don’t like?” I ask, running my fingers through my normal hair.
“Of course I like, but I was hoping to have a blue bed again tonight,” he winks, referring to last time we were together. I laugh. “So, no man?” he asks, looking around.
“Nope,” I say.
“So, no girl?” I ask, looking behind him.
“Nope,” he replies. “Wanna fuck?” He bursts out laughing… he hasn’t changed at all.
“Not practical,” I say, waving my hand out at the party that’s happening.
“Can’t blame a man for trying,” he says with a sexy grin. He moves past me, tapping my ass as he does. I watch as he walks off and girls flock to his side. He smiles genuinely at them. With that killer smile, he can make you wet with just a small upturn of his mouth.
“You know he’s huge, right?” a voice from behind moves up next to me. I give a devilish smile to Hillary. “Not in the pants, you dirty minx,” she spits. I laugh because that’s exactly what I was referring to. “He and Tanner are massive. They’re bachelors. Shit! Kyrone is about to do an advertisement with Calvin Kline, he’s that big. Did you honestly not know any of this?” I shake my head. “He still doesn’t stay with a girl more than a night. I heard that there was this one girl, but she went crazy when he told her the deal… you know, only sex? Kind of like you two, though it didn’t turn out as good as what you guys had. She went bat-shit crazy,” she says laughing. “Anyway, every football team wants the unstoppable twins. They just haven’t decided if they will leave Texas yet.” I wonder how she knows all this; it’s not something a magazine would know.
