“Yeah, wild.” She still wasn’t making eye contact with him.
Something was definitely up. More than even the semi-normal awkwardness that had wormed its way between them these last few weeks. But it didn’t look like she was going to tell him what was bothering her. And as much history as they had, he didn’t have any right to demand answers. He didn’t deserve anything from her, really.
“Maybe we should set up a quick meeting to touch base. Just to throw out some ideas. You got plans tomorrow night?”
“No.” Kelsey tilted her head and finally looked at him. “You don’t?”
He had plans to tell her all about why he didn’t have plans on a Friday night. But he wasn’t about to tell her that now. Not in the middle of Robin’s front lawn. “No. Want to come over tomorrow? I’m done with lessons around five. I could pick up Chinese so we could get started early?”
Her skin turned even greener when he said that. “Uh, yeah. Sure. I guess I’ll meet you around six then?”
“Sounds good.” He stepped away, reluctantly, and opened the back of his van. Her little red hatchback reversed into the driveway and rolled away as she gave him an awkward wave from the window, blasting Evanescence into the night air.
Something was definitely up with her. He wished she felt safe enough to tell him whatever it was. What he really wished was that he hadn’t caused that. He’d let her down, and he’d never forgive himself for that. Frankly, he wouldn’t have blamed her if she never spoke to him again.
But she had. And for some reason she continued to.
Eric slid his bass into the back of his van and closed the trunk. He waved to Robin on the porch and drove away, his head scrambling for ways to earn back Kelsey’s trust. He couldn’t erase their past or his mistakes. But he sure as hell could try to earn her back now.
And thanks to Robin and this song she wanted them to write, he now had an open door to do exactly that.
Chapter Two
Kelsey flipped through a bin of records with a green apple sucker hanging out of her mouth. Every corner of the little store she worked in was stuffed with records—bins, wall shelves, boxes on the floor, loose vinyl hanging from the ceiling. She was looking for a particular album someone had called about: Nirvana’s Bleach. It wasn’t in their system for some reason, but Kelsey knew for sure she’d seen it recently. She’d been digging through bins whenever she got a chance all week to see if it got misfiled or missed getting logged in.
As she flipped past each album, she felt a sort of tranquility that was often missing in her life, despite living alone. The albums had a comforting scent, like old books, but with the scent of plastic in the mix. Scanning each title and each album’s cover art was a form of meditation. It was one of the reasons she loved working there so much. Seeing all of those unwanted records, those hidden gems, carefully filed and displayed filled Kelsey with hope. Most of them would find new homes, new purpose, and those that didn’t would remain loved and fawned over in the shop. It was a sort of home for misfit vinyl.
Until she started working there, Kelsey had no idea how much she could relate to a bunch of old records. But she did. She even started thinking of herself as some sort of misfit vinyl in search of a home. The home she’d been looking for ever since she was a kid bouncing between foster homes. Working at this store and rehoming these albums gave her unexpected joy and a surprising sense of purpose.
The bell on the front door jangled, and Kelsey looked up to see Natalie walking in. Nat wore a light sweater over a silky blue blouse and black trousers with her hair pulled back in a sleek ponytail. Her downtown librarian uniform. A stark contrast to the tight tanks, tighter jeans, and cowboy boots she rocked on gigs.
Kelsey waved and continued to flip through the albums in front of her. “I thought you were working today.”
“I am,” Nat said. “What? I can’t visit my friend at work?”
“You can. You just don’t,” Kelsey teased. She was always the one to visit Natalie at the library a few blocks away. She usually needed a walk and a break from the dark inside of the record store more than Natalie needed to escape the bright, cheery children’s department.
“I took an early lunch. I was afraid you would chicken out and wouldn’t stop by today.”
“Chicken out from what?”
“From talking to me.”
“Now why would I avoid you?”
“Because you still haven’t told me what’s going on with you.”
And she didn’t intend to tell Nat either. Not yet. In fact, she was hoping to bail on lunch today. It wasn’t as if she had an appetite or could hold down food anyway. And the last thing she needed was Natalie reading into that.
“Nat, it’s been less than twenty-four hours.”
“And?”
“And you’re impossible. You know that?”
“Pfft. Go complain to Camille about that. Shane would probably agree with you, too.”
“How’s that going, by the way?”
“Uh-uh. Don’t change the subject. Shane and I are good. I’m here about you.”
“I’m great.” Her voice wavered.
As expected, Natalie wasn’t buying it. She frowned, then softened her expression. “Shane’s working a gig tonight. Why don’t you come over? Cadence and I have big plans for a movie and popcorn. Probably even ice cream. With sprinkles. You can hang with us, and we can talk after I put Cadence to bed. More ice cream maybe?”
Kelsey loved hanging out with Natalie and her daughter, Cadence. And as hard as it had been on all of them to lose their original fiddle player—who happened to also be Nat’s best friend—to rehab, stepping in as a substitute bestie for Nat had been a nice, unexpected bonus the last couple months.
“Can’t,” she said. “Meeting Eric to work on that song.”
Natalie cursed Robin under her breath.
“We’ll make it work,” Kelsey said. “It’s only a few sessions. I’ll write most of the lyrics on my own. We’ll just meet a few times to line everything up. It’ll be fine.”
Natalie shook her head. “Jeez, you’re a horrible liar.”
“How about…I’m gonna make the best of it?”
“I don’t see how there’s a best here.” She looked down at Kelsey’s stomach, then back up at her friend’s face and raised her eyebrows. “Does he know yet?”
Kelsey tried to keep her expression loose and cool. To completely ignore the alarm bells going off in her head. She didn’t want to let Natalie sniff out the fear percolating inside her.
She took a long drag on her sucker. “Know what?”
Natalie lowered her eyes and crossed her arms, determination set firmly in her face. “Does he know you’re pregnant?”
Being the decent friend that she was, Natalie kept her voice low. But they couldn’t have this conversation in the record store, and she clearly wasn’t going to let this slide.
Kelsey sighed, walked to the office in the back, and told her boss she was taking an early lunch while the store was quiet. Not that she had any plans to actually eat lunch. She had a sleeve of saltines and a plastic bag of almonds behind the counter that would get her through the rest of her shift.
She nodded toward the front door, and Natalie followed her outside into the bright, fresh spring air. They turned left and strolled down the sidewalks. The dwarf azaleas lining the curb were in full bloom along the road beside them. Southern Louisiana in all its March glory.
Natalie broke the silence. “You keeping it?”
Kelsey had weighed all of her options for a few brief minutes after she’d found out she was pregnant. She would never put a kid, especially not her own, into the foster system if there was another choice. Sure, there were lovely families taking in kids, but she’d grown up in the system. She’d been bounced around and had seen enough of the ugly side to know she didn’t want any kid of hers in foster care. Adoption meant she had no control whether or not her kid ended up in the system later, so that was off the table, too.
And while she knew it was ultimately her decision and that Eric’s complicated religious beliefs were his own to deal with, she also knew that ending the pregnancy would tear him apart. The last time had been out of her control. She couldn’t intentionally inflict that kind of pain on him. She couldn’t inflict that kind of pain on herself. She was grateful to have options, but only one choice made sense for her in this situation.
“Yes,” she said, emphatically.
“Okay,” Nat said. “You plan on telling him at all?”
“Eventually.”
“Any reason later is better than now?”
Kelsey took a deep breath and grounded herself. Felt the pavement through her Converse soles. Acknowledged the cool breeze hitting the hairs on her forearms. Focused on the present. The here. The now.
She was safe downtown with her friend. She wasn’t in a dark, sterile exam room looking at an unmoving image in the center of an ultrasound screen.
“There might not be anything to tell later.”
Natalie froze midstep. “Shit. I’m sorry, Kel. I didn’t—”
“It’s fine.” Kelsey paused with her friend for a second, then they both continued their walk.
She’d been pregnant once before, about a year ago. Had a miscarriage late in her first trimester. Neither of them handled it well, to say the least. Kelsey had shut down emotionally and shut Eric out, leaving the door open for him to walk away and for her to have to heal on her own. Their split nearly tore the whole band apart once Kelsey’s instincts told her it was time to hit the road, no matter how much the thought of leaving these new friends would have killed her just when she needed them most. Thankfully, Natalie and Camille had talked her out of that decision.
A moment later, Natalie said, “I didn’t know you two…”
“It was just a one night thing right before Mardi Gras. Before he got together with Bria.”
“No wonder you were so sick over that.” Natalie swore under her breath again. “I’m gonna kill that bastard.”
“We’ve both made mistakes.”
So many mistakes. And as much as he’d fucked up, she had to own the fact that she’d played a part in pushing him away. She knew better than to feel guilty about that, given the circumstances and the pain she’d been dealing with, but she’d played her own role in their break-up, and she couldn’t let him take all of the heat for it. Not anymore.
“Well, what if you guys didn’t make mistakes this time? What if you gave him a chance to do the right thing? Do you want him to be there with you through it this time?”
Kelsey shook her head. “He’s still with Bria.” She knew that if she told him now, he’d immediately break up with Bria, thinking that was the right and noble thing to do. But the last thing Kelsey wanted was someone tied to her out of some sense of obligation. “I don’t want to go through all of that complication if I don’t have to. Especially if there isn’t any point in the end.”
Natalie stopped again. This time she put a hand on Kelsey’s arm. “You love him. That’s the point.”
Kelsey popped her sucker back in her mouth while her stomach rolled and her throat tightened. Of course she loved him. She couldn’t imagine a world where she didn’t love Eric. But she also knew she’d never be enough for him. The moment she and the baby weren’t a package deal anymore, it was easy for him to walk away. She may have held the door open for him to leave, but he’d walked through it.
So, no. Loving him wasn’t the point.
“If there’s still something to tell, I’ll tell him after the festival.”
Natalie stared at her for a few moments, then nodded. “Okay. Until then, lots of ice cream dates with me.”
Kelsey laughed. “Please, no ice cream.”
“Fine.” Natalie smiled. “Crackers and herbal tea dates?”
Kelsey bumped her friend’s arm as they continued their walk around the block. “Now you’re talking.”
* * * * *
Eric tapped his student’s index finger to remind her which key to press next. The six-year-old was a quick learner, but she was struggling to remember the interval jumps. Or at least it seemed that way. Eric suspected it was more of a confidence falter than a memory falter.
“Good,” he said when she played the next three notes correctly then paused. “What’s next? You know this.”
A couple seconds later, she played the right note and finished the one-line song. She looked up from the music book at him, a wide, bright smile stretched across her round little face.
“Great work! See, I knew you could do it. I want you to know that you can do it. Because you can. You’re a rock star, you know that?”
She giggled.
He grabbed her assignment book and began writing on that week’s page. “Now, I want you to practice that scale we learned and work on this new song. Plus, I want you to practice last week’s pages until you can play them smoothly with no mistakes or pauses. Okay?” That should help build her confidence.
His student, Abigail, nodded. Eric handed her books to her, which she tucked into her tote bag. Then he held the practice room door open for her. Her mother was waiting in the hall. She took Abigail’s hand and said, “Ready? Had a good lesson?”
Abigail gave an enthusiastic, “Yes!”
Eric smiled. “She did great today, Mom. You watch, she’s going to be playing better than me and fighting me for gigs in no time.”
He winked at Abigail and told them both goodbye and to have a nice week. With a quick look around the hallway, he realized his next student wasn’t there yet, so he walked to the music school’s front desk.
Normally if his last student ran late, Eric would stay late to give them their full time. But today wasn’t a normal day. Today he was meeting with Kelsey. As much as he loved his students and wanted to help them out, sticking around for more than a few minutes wasn’t an option.
The college student who normally handled the phones and appointments wasn’t at the front desk. In her place was Josh, a guitar player with a mountain of curly orange hair bundled on top of his head. Eric had played in bands with Josh at bar and church gigs over the years. Amazing guitar player. Really fun dude. But not exactly the most organized guy Eric had ever met. His case was usually filled with folded and crumpled sheet music, and it took him forever to find a tune on his iPad. Not that it affected his playing. He had an incredible ear. Didn’t make him the most obvious choice to be sitting at the front desk though.
“Hey man,” Eric said. “Charlotte’s not here?”
“Nah, she had to leave early today. Rehearsal or test or something at school.” Josh squinted at the computer screen and made a few clicks. “I’m just filling in ’til closing.”
“Cool.” Eric looked around, but didn’t see his next student out front either. “Do you know if my 4:30’s here yet?”
“Nope. Haven’t seen them.” Josh looked up from the computer and leaned back in his chair. “Got a gig tonight? Or a hot date?”
“Neither.”
“Wanna come watch us tonight? New band—me, Ryan, and a couple other guys. We’re playing at a new little bar next to the Cuban place downtown. Short set, time to hit clubs after. You in?”
Ryan was a drummer who also taught at the music school. Eric had crawled the downtown bar scene with these guys many nights, after gigs and back when they were all in college together. Eric liked hanging with them, because they were as comfortable hanging anywhere—sports bars; gay clubs; tiny, dark, grungy dives; wherever—as he was, depending on the night and their mood. They were easygoing, funny, up for anything. It was an invitation he’d normally jump on.
“Sounds awesome,” he said. “But I’m writing music with Kelsey tonight.”
Josh squinted at Eric like he was another confusing computer screen. “That code for something?”
Eric laughed. “No, man. Actual music.”
“Oh, cool.” Josh squinted again. “You two a thing again?”
Josh had be
en around for the start of Eric and Kelsey’s relationship, not long after Eric joined Robin’s band a couple years ago. Josh had been witness to all the highs of that relationship as well as the devastating lows, plus all the topsy-turvy stuff in between. And as much as Eric had always been grateful to consider Josh a friend, he’d been even more glad to have someone rooting for him and Kelsey all along.
“No, just writing music.” But he must have paused a little too long before he said that.
Josh chuckled. “Sure. Sure.”
“We aren’t,” Eric insisted. “Not yet anyway.”
Josh gave an approving smile. “For fun or for real this time?”
This time he didn’t hesitate. “Kelsey’s always for real.”
His feelings for Kelsey had never faltered. Only his fears, guilt, and pride. He didn’t deserve her forgiveness for giving up on what they had, no matter the reason, and he was pretty sure she’d never take him back. But he knew he had to try.
“Well, good luck, dude,” Josh said. “Hope it works out.”
The school phone rang. Josh answered it while Eric walked to the front door. He stared out into the parking lot while he tapped his foot and hummed a Tower of Power bass line.
Josh made a few clicks on the computer, then hung up the phone. “Good news. Your 4:30’s stuck behind an accident across town, so they rescheduled. Next Tuesday. Three o’clock. Looks like you’re done for today.”
“Sweet. Thanks.” Eric patted the desk and headed back to the practice room to pack up his things.
Josh called out after him. “You know where to find us later if you change your mind.”
“Thanks!” Eric said with a quick wave.
But there was no changing his mind. Not on Kelsey. Not this time.
* * * * *
Forty-five minutes later, Eric was unlocking the front door of his rented house across town, his music bag slung over one shoulder and his other arm balancing a bag of Chinese food. Once inside, he dropped his music bag on the living room floor and placed the food on the little dinette table in the corner. Then he turned on the lights and put on The Meters while he unbuttoned his shirt and found an old, soft T-shirt to change into. The one with Miles Davis on it. Kelsey’s favorite.
Rim Shot Rebound Page 2
