by Rayna Stone
Mastering Holly Oaks 3
Alexa’s Web
[Ménage Amour: Erotic Consensual BDSM Ménage a Trois Romance, M/M/F, with M/M, voyeurism, spanking, cropping, flogging, sex toys, HEA]
Alexa Green has come to Holly Oaks and taken a position at her alma mater. She’s finally ready to plant some roots before she becomes invisible in life, and there are two sexy vets in town that can’t wait to tie her in their ropes. But Alexa’s been a shadow since she was a little girl, and getting her to trust them may be harder than they thought.
James Gainer and Ryan Stromfield are a committed D/s couple who have almost given up hope of finding a third, until Alexa moves to town. She’s everything they want, but gaining her trust and handling the problems a triad faces in a vanilla society may be more than any relationship can stand.
Alexa must choose between her job and its security at the university, and her relationship. All while trying not to become a new victim from past sins.
Genre: BDSM, Contemporary, Ménage a Trois/Quatre
Length: 76,383 words
ALEXA'S WEB
Mastering Holly Oaks 3
Rayna Stone
MENAGE AMOUR
Siren Publishing, Inc.
www.SirenPublishing.com
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A SIREN PUBLISHING BOOK
IMPRINT: Ménage Amour
ALEXA'S WEB
Copyright © 2014 by Rayna Stone
E-book ISBN: 978-1-62741-783-9
First E-book Publication: May 2014
Cover design by Harris Channing
All art and logo copyright © 2014 by Siren Publishing, Inc.
ALL RIGHTS RESERVED: This literary work may not be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means, including electronic or photographic reproduction, in whole or in part, without express written permission.
All characters and events in this book are fictitious. Any resemblance to actual persons living or dead is strictly coincidental.
PUBLISHER
Siren Publishing, Inc.
www.SirenPublishing.com
Letter to Readers
Dear Readers,
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DEDICATION
I’d like to dedicate this one to all the readers and friends I have “in the box.” That magical world on the internet, where you keep me entertained, let me run free to play, keep me sane when I’m having a bad day, and in general, have become my family in ways I never expected. Some of you I have met, some I will, others I will only know through that little screen, but the value of your presence in my life is beyond measure. You make my days brighter. Thank you for that. I hope I do the same.
Table of Contents
Title Page
Copyright Page
Dedication
Prologue
Chapter One
Chapter Two
Chapter Three
Chapter Four
Chapter Five
Chapter Six
Chapter Seven
Chapter Eight
Chapter Nine
Chapter Ten
Chapter Eleven
Chapter Twelve
Chapter Thirteen
Chapter Fourteen
Chapter Fifteen
Chapter Sixteen
Chapter Seventeen
Chapter Eighteen
Chapter Nineteen
Chapter Twenty
Chapter Twenty-One
Chapter Twenty-Two
Chapter Twenty-Three
Chapter Twenty-Four
Chapter Twenty-Five
Chapter Twenty-Six
Chapter Twenty-Seven
Chapter Twenty-Eight
About the Author
ALEXA'S WEB
Mastering Holly Oaks 3
RAYNA STONE
Copyright © 2014
Prologue
Nine-year-old Alexa Green curled herself into the smallest ball she could manage. It seemed she was always hiding in the dark, but her closet had become her favorite safe place. She had pillows and blankets covering the small floor space so she could even fall asleep if she needed to. Cupboards and the awkward cutout under the stairs worked in a hurry, but since she never knew how long she would have to hide away, she preferred the comfort of the little nest she’d created for herself in her closet. She fluffed up her pillow and listened as her parents stomped around the house screaming at each other. She knew they used words she wasn’t allowed to say, and she knew it was best if she was hidden away during the fight, but she had a hard time understanding what the fights were about. All she knew for sure was that her father would eventually leave, her mother would cry, and it was all her fault.
For the past five years her mother had been constantly telling Alexa just how much of a disappointment she was. There was a gradual change from being ignored to being yelled at all the time, but she remembered enough to miss being invisible. First it had been that she wasn’t pretty enough for her father to be proud of her, but lately it seemed that nothing she did was right. No matter how good she tried to be, or how well she blended into the background, she knew that the bottom line was that she just wasn’t special enough to be loved. And not being loved by her father meant that her mother hated her. It meant that he didn’t want to be around anymore, and her mother wished Alexa had never been born. Sometimes Alexa felt the same way.
She may only be nine, but she knew that her life would never be like the other kids at school. It would never be normal. All she wanted was to fit in and have a family that cared about her, but even the kids at school treated her like something was wrong with her. They teased her because her parents never came to school events. They sai
d that her dad couldn’t stand her because she was such a freak. Alexa wasn’t sure what that even meant, but it obviously wasn’t good. Her days consisted of getting herself ready for school, arriving after a dusty one-mile walk, sitting quietly in the back of the room, and wishing that the girls would talk and giggle with her. She wasn’t ever picked to play during recess, so she ended up just reading in the corner of the playground until the teacher blew the whistle and corralled all the kids back into the pale-sea-foam-green-painted classroom.
By the time Alexa got home in the afternoon, all she wanted to do was avoid her mother and hope that she didn’t find a reason to yell at her. It was only when her father came home and the fighting began that she had to hide away. She’d curl up and imagine she was someone else. She could be that little girl who got to cuddle with her mom and squeal with excitement over every little detail of her day. She’d imagine her father took her to the park and pushed her on the swings. Those imaginary parents would sit proudly in the front row of her little school cafeteria while all the kids sang Christmas songs, and Alexa would be surrounded by friends that invited her to their house on the weekends.
She was in the middle of just such a fantasy, clicking her plastic flashlight on and off and watching the little specks of dust swirl in the space before her, when she realized that her parents had gone strangely quiet. She knew they were still in the house because she could hear doors being slammed and the distinct slapping of her father’s large, steel-tipped boots, but they were no longer shouting at each other. Maybe she wouldn’t have to spend the night in the closet. She really didn’t mind, but tonight was a little colder than usual, and she wanted more blankets if she wouldn’t be in her bed. The fear that her mother would come for her and start screaming about what a terrible daughter she was and how much she wished she could just get rid of her made her sink further back into the small space.
As the minutes ticked by, Alexa’s anxiety started to rise. Something wasn’t right. Her parents weren’t following the usual routine. Why weren’t they still yelling at each other? Why wasn’t her father roaring out of the driveway by now? She wished they’d just get on with it. Waiting to find out if she would be ignored or screamed at was prickling her skin and causing that cold, clammy feeling to slither all over her body. She was having a harder time shutting down and living in her fantasy world the longer the silence lasted.
Just when Alexa was about to brave leaving the safety of her cocoon, she felt her whole body jerk with the boom resonating from outside her bedroom door. She’d never heard anything so loud. It was like there wasn’t even really a sound. That awful noise actually wracked her body like a physical blow. She felt her heart pounding in her ears, and it seemed like the very air stilled as her muscles froze up. The rushing in her head was so loud she worried that she’d miss whatever happened next. She was locked in indecision and fear. Young as she was, she knew that this night spelled disaster for her. The only thing she couldn’t decide was whether to run as fast and far as she could into the cold night, or simply wait in her closet for her future to come for her.
Alexa’s thoughts spun faster and faster as she held her breath. Life was lonely for her. Her future had always seemed like an endless trickle of nothingness. But now, she knew true fear. For the first time, she actually feared what was ahead instead of accepting it with resignation. She wanted to be invisible again. She didn’t want to be seen. She didn’t want to risk what would happen to her if she was.
When Alexa finally decided that action was better than hiding away, her closet door burst open and her mother filled the space like a monster in a nightmare. Alexa’s eyes widened as she took in the vision before her. Her mother’s usually perfectly styled red hair was partially pulled out of her low-set ponytail. It floated around her pale face and somehow made her look older. Those green eyes that had always seemed so empty to Alexa were wide as saucers now. No longer empty, they practically spilled with anger. Alexa squirmed a bit under that intense stare, and her breathing accelerated to match the harsh panting of her mother.
“You have taken everything from me that I ever wanted in life.” Her mother’s tone was very low and quiet. So matter-of-fact. “I wanted to give your father the gift of a child that he could adore, a baby to make us the perfect family.” She sighed. Turning those hate-filled eyes back on Alexa, she pursed her lips, her whole face going hard. “Instead, I got you. A child nobody could love. You drove him away from me. Now there’s nothing left for any of us. Nothing.”
Alexa wished her mother would yell or stomp around. She could sometimes shut her out that way. Just let the words run into each other and float away. But this. This was something that she had no experience with. She couldn’t tear her focus away from that face. Those eyes. It was like her whole body was tuned in to her mother’s. She imagined that they were tethered together by an invisible thread, shrinking and expanding with each breath. The deadly calm certainty of her mother’s words settled into her belly like a cold solid mass that just kept growing. She wondered if her skin would split from the pressure.
Without any change in expression, Alexa watched in wonder as her mother started quietly singing “Goodnight Sweetheart.” The eerie tune reminded her of the one and only time she could remember her dad singing to her. He was so drunk that he could barely walk, but he grabbed her little hand and sang while he danced her around the living room. Her mother scowled at them the entire time, but Alexa felt like she was floating on a cloud. It was the happiest memory she had of her dad, the one and only time she felt like the center of his universe. Now the song sent chills up and down her spine as she saw her mother lift her arm and point her father’s revolver right at her. That shiny gun seemed so much larger than usual. Much more dangerous than when she watched her father clean and polish it. It was like watching some sort of cartoon. Her mother was calmly singing while she held that horribly shiny weapon. She wished she could turn this cartoon off.
Alexa heard and felt that blast again. She felt the pain, almost freezing cold in its intensity, spreading from her chest out to her whole body. Is this what happened to her father, too? No matter how many possibilities ripped through her brain, she couldn’t grasp any of them. The searing pain in her chest, the terrible weight that made breathing difficult, none of it seemed real. She was in her safe place. She would just close her eyes and finish this dream. Eventually she would wake up and be able to take a breath again. The pain spreading out to her arms and legs would be gone, and blessedly cool air would bathe her face. Her mother would be waiting to yell at her and her father would be gone until tomorrow. Yes, she would just keep her eyes closed and let this nightmare run its course.
Chapter One
The road seemed to stretch out forever before Alexa’s tired eyes. She had lost track of how long she’d been driving today, determined to push until she made it to Denver. A smile crept into the corners of her mouth. The Denver Museum of Natural History was her favorite place. It was hands down the best museum in the country. She snorted at the memory of so many debates over the years about how wonderful it was in New York or at the Smithsonian, but she would never waver. It didn’t matter how many digs she went on or how many universities and museums she worked at. None would ever compare in her mind to the beauty of the Denver Museum.
Looking at the scenery as she drew closer to the large city that loomed in the distance, she could also admit that there wasn’t a place she enjoyed living in more than Colorado. She hadn’t been back since she graduated, but she had spent seven years working and studying at the University of Colorado in Boulder. Every summer she would haul her few belongings from her dorm and move into a dingy apartment near the Denver Museum for her summer work. She didn’t really care for Denver per se, she was more of a Boulder girl, but as the mountains grew in her field of vision, she would take a year in the city just to be this close to them. And what a year it was going to be.
She had spent the last six years traveling the country, staying on
ly a semester at a time in one location, assisting other paleontology professors with their projects. That was the way she wanted it. Ever since waking up in her hospital bed so long ago, being told that her mother had killed her father and then killed herself after shooting Alexa, her life had been a series of moves and adjustments. She didn’t know any other way. There had been only studying and becoming the best she could be in order to have a safe future once she aged out of the foster care system.
She’d daydream about a normal life with friends and lovers, a comfy home and stability, but she would never really have those things. Learning to just fit in was hard enough. So hard, that she had to move along before anyone tried to dig too deep or just plain figured out who she really was behind the mask of self-confidence she wore. But at thirty-one, she knew she had to change something. She felt the certainty of it with each passing year. If she didn’t figure out a way to grow some roots, she’d float away entirely.
Having an education and opportunities were no longer the safety net she always believed they would be. She had no true anchor, no one to ground her. If she didn’t start making a real life for herself she would become like her mother. So fixed in her daydreams that she would crack when reality intruded. Alexa knew in her heart that her mother was sick before she was even born, that she created the world she wanted for herself in her mind. All the counselors told her how difficult it must have been for her mother to try and maintain that fantasy when the reality was that her husband would never love her or stop cheating on her. In her sickness, she blamed Alexa for her unhappiness until something triggered her world to shatter beyond repair. Alexa knew what that had been, but the result was too much for her mother to handle. Her tenuous hold on reality completely dissolved and she could only find one way out.