by Rayna Stone
Ryan knew his nose was bleeding and throbbing, but all he could focus on right now were Alexa’s big blue eyes and the tears running down her face. Christ, she was a beautiful woman. He couldn’t stop himself from reaching out to cup her cheek. “Don’t worry about my nose. How’s yours? I’m so sorry I smacked into you like that.”
* * * *
Alexa couldn’t breathe with this god of a man standing so close. She couldn’t even describe the color of his eyes in words. They were so blue and light that they almost looked silver. Even with his nose swelling and blood on his face, he looked good enough to eat. And the way he smelled, Jesus H. Christ. What kind of cologne was that? He smelled like fresh air and sandalwood. Was he still too stunned from smacking into the door to notice if she were to bury her nose in inappropriate places? She had never wanted to touch anyone so desperately in her life. She was still staring at him like an idiot when James and Kat came around the corner.
“What the hell is going on?” James exclaimed. Alexa saw Kat’s big green eyes widen as she halted in her tracks. As James barreled down the hall, Kat slowly backpedaled until she was around the corner again. Traitor.
“Jesus, Ryan. What did you do?” James was staring at Ryan’s nose and Alexa’s tears. “Why did she punch you?”
Ryan turned to look at James. “What? She didn’t punch me. I ran into the door…then Alexa’s face.” He slumped into the wall and started tending to his bloody nose with his handkerchief. “It was only marginally less embarrassing than having a girl punch me. Damn, that hurts.”
James still looked confused, but he turned his attention back on Alexa. “Are you okay?” She nodded while staring up into his mesmerizing brown eyes. Yup, these two owned the market on awesome eyes. “Yeah, it was just one of those perfect shots that brings tears to your eyes. I’m fine, really.”
James pursed his lips and stepped toward Alexa until she was pressed against the wall. Then he cradled her face with both his hands as he used his thumbs to check her nose and cheekbones. After what seemed like an eternity, he ran one hand into her hair and gently grabbed a fistful so he could tilt her head back and look into her eyes. “You’re more than fine, Ms. Green, but you’re going to have to be more careful around Ryan. It seems he can’t think properly around you.” Mercy. What in the world was going on with her? Pheromones. Must be some sort of chemical reaction from pheromones.
Alexa was ready to melt right into the floor when Precious decided to worry about her absence. A loud and soulful howl came from behind the closed door and everyone straightened up. “What the hell was that? It sounds like there’s a fucking wolf in there. What kind of dog do you own, Alexa?” She closed her eyes in resignation as James opened the door.
“He’s real nice, guys. And he isn’t a wolf. At least, I don’t think he is. I’m pretty sure he’s a hybrid. He’s just worried because I left him in the room alone. I swear he’s never hurt anyone.” Jesus, please don’t let James wig out like Ryan did.
“Holy hell. You actually own a real wolf hybrid? We don’t see that very often.” James’s voice had a hushed and reverent quality to it. He didn’t waste any time marching right into the room. Well, at least he didn’t bust his face. That was a good sign. When she looked at Ryan, he rolled his eyes and gave her an I-can’t-believe-either-of-you look. She couldn’t help herself, she burst out in a full-on belly laugh. Now that some of her stress and raging hormones had subsided, she couldn’t help but find Ryan’s reaction hysterical.
“What? I just wasn’t prepared to find a feral predator in there. I thought maybe you had a cute fluffy dog. You named him Precious for God’s sake. Even hybrids can be dangerous.” Ryan looked positively incredulous.
Well, wasn’t someone just being a little pissy-pants. It just made her laugh harder. And it made her wonder who the last person was to actually make her laugh. She composed herself and gave him her best withering glare and walked into the exam room. Of course, he was right on her heels.
“Where did you get this beautiful creature? Wait, why do you have him? Ryan’s right. He could turn on you in a heartbeat, and there wouldn’t be much you could do to protect yourself.” James looked speculatively between her and Precious.
“I’ve known him his whole life and raised him for a lot of it. I was on a field trip with my geology group when we found him. The litter only looked to be days old. We took them all home, but Precious was the only one who survived. I didn’t think to look for his gender before the name stuck. He was really snuggly when he was a baby. He’s been on plenty of field trips with me since then and he’s been socialized very well. He can be protective, but he’s never once even growled at me. I make sure to keep him in a fenced-in yard when I’m not with him. Really, unless someone attacks me, he’s harmless. Will you take care of his medical needs, or should I find someone else?” There. Straight to the point, and with as much steel as she could muster. She was getting her game face back.
James smiled at her fondly and rubbed his chin. He looked at Ryan and they seemed to have a whole conversation with their eyes. When James turned back to her, she could see his face soften. “Okay, Alexa. We’ll take care of Precious. He just took us by surprise.” And just like that, he started the exam on Precious and it seemed the conflict was over. She breathed a mental sigh of relief.
By the time the exam was over Alexa realized that she had talked and joked with Ryan and James more than she ever had with someone new. She found out they loved hiking the trails as much as she did. She even flirted a bit. Alexa Green did not flirt. She got drunk with her colleagues, and on two occasions she had sex with one of them. She made it clear she wasn’t interested in a relationship, and she sure as hell didn’t giggle or bat her eyelashes. But she was still a woman, and she wanted to experience the types of things every woman wanted. Apparently every woman wanted to bat their eyes at men who looked like Ryan and James. She sincerely hoped it didn’t look like she had an eye twitch.
Before she knew it, she was hauling Precious back to the car and getting ready to go back in and pay her bill. She was frantically trying to come up with a way to see them again as Kat was filling out rabies certificates and vaccine forms. That was when she noticed it. A plate full of cookies sat by the computer.
“Are those…peanut butter cookies?” The hope and reverence in her voice would be hard to mistake. Kat just looked up and nodded.
“You can have as many as you like. We have a client who brings homemade cookies to us every week. If you don’t take some, I’ll end up eating too many and I’m trying to lose—” Kat’s words were cut off as Alexa practically lunged for the plate. She had one in each hand and was already chewing before she even realized Kat was staring at her.
“Sorry, I really like peanut butter,” she mumbled around another bite. James and Ryan came out to reception and stood beside her, but she barely noticed, as she was still looking at the plate and wondering how rude it would be to take a few more home with her.
Kat printed out all her paperwork and was handing it over as Alexa saw a hand head for the plate of cookies. Without even controlling her own movements, she slapped the offender away from her precious peanut butter bliss and then froze. She turned, stunned, eyes to James, who was looking at her in shock. “Oh God. I’m so sorry. I cannot believe I just did that.” She hung her head in shame. “I get territorial around peanut butter.” She closed her eyes and prayed for them to leave. How could she have made such an idiot out of herself when things were going so well? Fucking peanut butter!
Ryan was the one who left, but he returned shortly with a baggie and started loading the cookies inside. She chanced a peek at James and relaxed her shoulders when she saw the bemused expression on his face. He wasn’t looking at her like she was a freak, more like she was a cute oddity. Well, it wasn’t ideal, but it was better than she expected.
With a radiant smile, Ryan handed her the bag of cookies. “You take them with you. Enjoy them during your last week out at the dig site.
”
Alexa gave him an embarrassed smile. “Thanks. Maybe I could return the favor and make something to replace them?”
James gave her such an intense look she felt immobilized by the sheer force of his stare. “How about we set up a time to show you some trails when you get back. You can pack us a lunch.”
Alexa just nodded. She couldn’t manage any more than that. Did he kind of growl a little bit? Whatever he did with his voice, it sent shivers licking down her spine and settling in her belly. Best vet appointment ever. She didn’t even look at Kat when she signed the bill. James and Ryan’s retreating backsides were far more interesting. Hiking. Good. She was good at hiking. Perhaps she could show them she wasn’t a total social moron if she was in her element. She’d have to stop drooling over them and get her balance back, but she could definitely do that. She was going to pack the hell out of some lunch for them, not giggle or look like she had a severe eye condition, and she would talk like the educated self-sufficient woman she was. She would make friends. Yes. That was the way to handle this. She smiled and thanked Kat while she picked up all her things and headed out to her car.
Chapter Five
After Alexa left the clinic, Ryan’s mood began to fall into a state of testiness he hadn’t felt in a long time. He was as confused and frustrated as he had been growing up with his family before college. Back then, he was struggling with accepting that he was attracted to both men and women. He was also struggling with knowing that if his perfect family ever found out, he would be thrown out. Thankfully he went to college and met James. James had taught him that it was okay to be different, to like what he liked. He had given Ryan the strength to stand up for himself and leave his family when they didn’t accept him. For years he had grown and thrived as James’s partner and submissive, but now he was unsettled again.
Though they had played with and dated a few girls over the years, Ryan had never been interested in any exchange of power with them. He was content to let James take the lead. The girls were just like additions to their relationship, but Ryan never felt the need to top them. Alexa was different. He knew he was attracted to her from the moment he laid eyes on her, but this feeling of protectiveness was new to him. Every second of the time they spent examining her monstrosity of an animal, the urge to dominate her in some way grew. And where would that leave him and James?
He knew James suspected something. The fantasy scenarios that he whispered to him when they were together gave him the impression that James was leading him toward having more of a dominant role in this relationship if it ever came to fruition. But in reality, the thought unnerved Ryan. What if James really couldn’t share the control? Worse, what if it changed the dynamic of his relationship with James? How could it not? But how could he stop being James’s submissive? And would James still love him if he did want to top Alexa? These questions were ones he never had to think of before and they were making him feel unsure of everything.
The only thing he knew was that he wanted her more now than he could have imagined, and he needed James to let him know that he would always be his Dom. That they would figure this out and James would keep them safe. Ryan was even more frustrated because he was having all these thoughts and feelings when it was likely they wouldn’t ever even get a date with the woman.
To top it all off, they had to go the Denver club tonight and pretend to be part of that crowd in order to get information on the serial killer running around their area. This was the third weekend they had gone into the seedy clubs downtown, and it was starting to wear on everyone. He was worried about his friend Kelly, he was worried about the women in their community that were at risk, and he was worried about the club he and his friends owned. So much worry and uncertainty was starting to make him sick. But seeing Alexa today had been like a flash of light in the darkness. She was a bit awkward and unsure, but she was funny and smart. Beautiful. She didn’t posture or give them fake smiles. Every reaction she had was genuine. He knew that the chance of anything ever happening between the three of them was remote, but he was going to do everything he could to make it happen.
Later that night Ryan could feel the tension in the car on the way home from the club downtown. He hadn’t been able to control his emotions all day, and he’d snapped at James more times than he could count. He just couldn’t seem to stop himself. Then, at the club, they had to leave early because his performance as “sub of the year” was so terrible that even the posers looked like they belonged on their knees more than him. He was compelled to push James. How far could he push, how much would James take before he put him in his place?
The worst part of it was that he knew he was acting like this because he needed reassurance from James, and that felt like a betrayal. James had done nothing to deserve this kind of insecurity from Ryan.
Back in college, Ryan needed to know that James wouldn’t give up on him. That he would accept and love him even if he screwed up. James had never let him down. He was patient and loving when he needed to be, and he got rough when Ryan acted up so Ryan knew that though James wouldn’t tolerate it from him, he also wouldn’t leave. He’d put Ryan in his place and tie him there, safe and secure, until Ryan believed again that he could trust James to hold on to him even when he let his emotions and insecurities take over. Even when he tried to push James away just to see if he would go.
Ryan felt ashamed that he was doing it again. Acting like a brat and testing James. He shouldn’t. He knew how much James loved him. He proved it daily for years and he didn’t deserve this. It was a lack of faith that James of all people in the world did not deserve from him. He had to try and apologize. Or at least explain his behavior. If only his mouth would cooperate and open up.
The car pulled to a stop and James turned to him. “Get in the house, Ry. Right now.” Clipped, efficient, and really pissed. Ryan’s hackles rose right back up again. He just couldn’t control himself and think rationally tonight. He wanted to fight and be overcome.
Ryan no sooner shut the front door before James spun him around and slammed him into the wall. He had Ryan’s hair in his fist so his face didn’t hit anything, but the force James used knocked the breath from him long enough for James to kick his legs wide apart and wrench his arm behind his back. He was pressing him into the wall with his entire body. Ryan was trapped so fast that he couldn’t think. This hadn’t happened since they were in college either. Sometimes they played rough because they both liked it. Ryan liked pain, and James liked to give it to him, but it had been years since James had used force to get him into a position. Ryan’s heart rate was accelerating and his muscles pulled against the strength surging from James.
“It seems there are a few things you and I need to get straight, Ryan. And I suggest you stop pushing off the wall with your free hand or I will restrain that, too. I don’t have to remind you that your nose has already taken one hit today, so it would be in your best interest to let me keep a hold of your head right now.” James pushed his pelvis and his erection into Ryan’s ass hard to emphasize his point, and Ryan tried to relax his arm enough to obey him.
“You’ve been acting like a little shit all day, and I don’t appreciate the attitude. So either you tell me what’s going on in your head, respectfully, or I’ll beat it out of you,” he snarled in Ryan’s ear. Ryan knew this was just a mind game they played, James would never touch him without his consent, but sometimes, just imagining that he was beating the pent-up energy away was the only way to unlock his mind. To exhaust him and take the worry away. Even though Ryan was a little bigger, he knew that James could overpower him any day, and right now, he desperately needed to be overpowered. He needed to feel that his submission was fought for and would be held onto tightly by James. That James was strong enough to hold on to him even when he felt lost.
As soon as Ryan started to struggle again, James exhaled in resignation. “I see. The hard way it is then.” With that, James tightened his grip on Ryan’s hair and shoved his arm up higher
behind his back. There was pain, but James was careful not to actually hurt Ryan. Just put him in a position that made it impossible for Ryan to fight much while he marched him to the playroom in their basement.
Their steps were jerky and both men were strung tight, but it didn’t take long before James managed to get Ryan downstairs and under the suspension bar that hung from the ceiling. Without a second of hesitation, James used his knee to force Ryan to bend his own and then he was on top of him, taking Ryan to the floor and pinning him on his stomach.
Years of experience allowed James to cuff Ryan quickly in the padded leather wrist cuffs, and there was complete silence as he hauled him back up to his feet and strong-armed his hand to the suspension bar. Though Ryan was putting up a bit of a fight, once the cuff was snapped to the bar, he went utterly still. He didn’t raise his other hand voluntarily, but he didn’t resist when James attached that wrist to the bar as well.
James rounded on him and looked him right in the eye. He pierced Ryan with a look of barely restrained fury. “This stops now, Ryan. You know better than to treat me and our relationship with the kind of disrespect you’ve shown today. If you no longer want to submit to me, tell me now and I’ll release you, but I will not have you topping from the bottom just to get a response out of me. If you need something from me that I’m not giving you, you ask for it. We’re beyond this shit.”
Ryan felt the panic start in the pit of his stomach. He didn’t know what he needed. He was just confused and worried. He needed to feel the safety in their relationship that he usually felt. Ryan was still as a statue, and every one of his muscles was locked with tension. He couldn’t speak, only plead with his eyes and pray James would know where to start.
“This began today after Alexa’s appointment. I know you still want her, Ry, but if this is the result of her being around, I will not even consider pursuing her. I will not allow anyone to take you from me or ruin what we have.” James grabbed the large medical shears that would safely cut away Ryan’s clothes without the fear of cutting his skin. “You’re acting like you did when we first started out. Like you need help defining our roles in this relationship.” Leaning in close, James’s voice became icy calm. “I’ll help you remember your role, Ryan. And you’re going to accept the punishment for forgetting mine.”
