by MJ Haag
“Sorry,” I whispered. The creature shook his head and set off.
I rode straight to the Sisters. I needed help with my hair and assurances about the dress. Even though they didn’t wear clothes, I trusted they knew what was fashionable.
Ila met me at the door with a wide smile.
“You look stunning. For your sister’s feast?”
I nodded as I drank down the tea.
“Come to my room, I will do your hair.”
Sitting on Ila’s dressing stool, I relaxed as she wove my hair into several beautiful, twisting braids.
“Everyone there will forget your sister is the focus of the evening,” Ila said, tucking the last braid. I smiled at her compliment and hoped Bryn would have no issue with my appearance...or Father’s.
“Is Father here?”
“He asked not to work today. You will find him at home.”
Standing, I hugged her and thanked her for her help. Before I left, I looked back over my shoulder.
“Is it too daring?” I asked, letting the uncertainty I felt show. “The dress?”
“The dress is beautiful, as are you,” she assured me.
I glanced down at my breasts. Though the material was not transparent, I could still see details, not in color, but in shape.
“I don’t want to shame my father,” I said softly.
She smiled sadly and walked me to the door. Just behind it rested a fine black cloak that complemented the silver of the dress. “Here. Take this for today, until you feel comfortable. You will see that your dress is not so unusual.”
I thanked her with yet another hug and placed the cloak around my shoulders before walking to my father’s home. He answered the door with a happy smile. Thankfully, Bryn and Blye were both absent.
“I’ve been waiting for you.” He pulled me into a tight hug. “I’ve missed you.”
“I’m sorry I left before we could speak,” I said, referring to my last visit. He waved off my apology and motioned for me to sit. I kept my cloak on, but he didn’t comment.
“How have things been for you?” I asked, noting his healthy weight and complexion.
“I enjoy teaching the sisters,” he said openly. “They are kind and gentle.”
“And Bryn and Blye?”
He sighed.
“They are well but have learned where I teach. Blye has moved into a small room above the seamstress’s shop, and Bryn is staying with Dana, Edmund’s cousin, until the wedding.”
“What a relief,” I said with an impish smile. “Finally, you can eat your own food and relax in your own home.”
He nodded, but a sad smile crossed his face.
“If only he would release you to come back home.”
His comment caused an odd pang because, even for my father, I didn’t want to leave the beast. Over the course of our weeks together, he’d won my affection; and through his progress to becoming a better man, he’d won my respect.
“The baker mentioned his visit,” I said, changing the subject and pushing thoughts of the beast from my mind. “He said he spoke to you about several options if I didn’t want to be a maid anymore.”
“He offered for your hand.”
I made a face, and he nodded.
“I know your feelings about the man and told him I could not accept his offer. He insisted I speak with you of his wealth and the position he would guarantee you.”
The image of Sara on the dough table rose in my mind, and I knew with certainty that he offered a position I would not like.
“His wealth makes no difference in my aversion of the man,” I said.
Father agreed, and we chatted for several hours before he asked if I was happy.
“I am, and will be even more so if you accompany me to the feast.”
“I don’t think I have a choice.” He stood and fetched a box and letter. He handed me the letter.
Guard your daughter carefully in my absence. She must return to me before sunset.
It bore the same seal the beast had used before. I looked up as Father opened the box. Inside rested a dignified suit coat, crisp shirt and neck cloth, and new pants to match. I smiled at the beast’s thoughtfulness.
“When did this arrive?” I asked.
“Three days ago.”
I insisted Father go dress. While I waited, a rapid tap sounded at the door. Opening it, I was surprised to see Mr. Crow hopping around on the ground outside. A small white piece of parchment was tied to his leg. I bent to remove it, ignoring his squawking.
The heavy scrawl on the paper was almost illegible with ink spills and rips where the beast had written too forcefully.
Return at once.
I turned the paper over, but the other side remained blank.
“I don’t understand,” I whispered to Mr. Crow.
He tilted his head at me and hopped forward. His beak gently worried my dress.
“He agreed I could go. He sent my father clothes. He can’t ask me to return before the ceremony. Assure him I will return before sunset. I will keep my word.”
The crow cawed loudly then took flight.
Closing the door, I waited for my father to emerge.
“You look so dapper,” I said when he did.
He grinned at me and gave a little bow. No one would find fault in his appearance; the jacket was fashionable and fit him well.
“Let’s dine together,” he said, offering his arm.
We strolled down the market street to a small pub that served respectable families. Father offered to take my cloak as he held out a chair for me. Not wanting to draw attention, I surrendered it and quickly sat. When he took the chair across from me, his eyes swept my dress.
“I understand his warning now,” he said.
I blushed and remained quiet. Though worry shone lightly in his expression, I saw no real rebuke. Cautiously, I glanced at the other women in the room. None wore a dress woven as fine as mine, and I caught their envious stares. No one’s regard held any censure.
After our meal, we made our way to the Head’s home. In the backyard, many had gathered to see Bryn wed Edmund. Near the back of the gathering, Father helped me from my cloak and caught my nervous look.
“Head high, Bini. You are lovely.”
With his approval, I walked by his side to our seats near the pretty flower arch where Bryn would say her vows. Murmurs quieted as we passed. I kept a polite smile on my mouth and held my father’s arm tightly.
Once we sat, we only had to wait a few moments before a sweet soprano rang out in a merry song about joining and love. When it quieted, the crowd turned to see Bryn and her fiancé walking down the aisle toward the arch. The Head followed them.
The simple ceremony didn’t last long, but the well wishes and speeches took until the evening meal. I held myself still through it all, even though I wanted to fidget and shift on my seat to bring the blood and life back into my buttocks.
Bryn glowed with happiness as she clung to Edmund’s arm. He looked equally pleased.
Father and I rose and followed the new couple from the Head’s yard to the public room where Dana hosted the feast. I stopped to hug Bryn, bringing her attention to Father and me for the first time. Her smile hardened at the sight of us, but she did not turn away.
“I’m so happy you came. You look lovely,” she said to me.
Then, she looked at Father and complimented him on his handsome garb. I could see the calculation in her eyes and suppressed a sigh.
Father and I sat and watched many others pour through the doors. Bryn hadn’t lied about the merchants who would attend. Many saw me sitting close to the bride and groom and asked for an introduction. Their unwelcome attention just served to irritate my sister further.
Finally, everyone sat and the meal began. Course after course slowly emerged from the kitchen. There was a time when I would have appreciated spending hours eating the wonderful dishes set before me. However, I couldn’t find any joy in this meal. Instead, I watched the sh
adows shift in the room as the afternoon progressed.
With relief, I leaned toward Father when it was time for me to go. He guessed my purpose before I spoke.
“It is time for us to take our leave,” he said softly to my sister.
She paused in her conversation with a merchant who had stopped to talk and nodded her farewell. It was brief and uncaring.
I turned to Blye and gave her a hug, whispering good-bye. At least Blye didn’t seem resentful of my presence, though she didn’t speak to Father at all.
On our way to the door, several men of influence stopped Father. He politely ended the conversation as soon as he could, but the sun never paused its sinking progress. When we finally reached the door, the golden orb hovered dangerously close to the horizon.
“I must hurry,” I said, giving Father a hug outside.
“I didn’t realize how late it was. Will you be all right?” Father pulled back to look at me with concern.
“I’ll be fine.” I kissed his cheek and gave him the cloak.
“Return this to Ila, please. Thank her for me.” I turned away from him and called for Swiftly.
His hooves thundered nearby, then he was kneeling before me. I quickly climbed up and clasped his mane.
“Good night, Father,” I said as Swiftly stood. “I’ll see you soon.”
I leaned low over Swiftly as he turned and galloped through the streets.
“Before the sun sets,” I said, encouraging him to lengthen his stride.
The wind cooled my skin under my gown and tugged at my hair. I kept an eye on the sun the length of the journey. We made it through the gates just as the last light faded.
The sight of the waiting, roiling cloud of mist brought fierce joy to me. I’d missed him and hadn’t known it until just then.
I slid from Swiftly and sent him away with a pat on the neck. He shied around the mist while I walked straight toward it.
“I’m going to fall and hurt myself,” I said.
Suddenly, I was up in the beast’s arms, cradled against his chest. I sighed and leaned my head against him, content to close my eyes and run my fingers through his fur. I was home.
He brought me into the kitchen and set me on my feet. The continued silence and mist worried me.
“No mist,” I said, stepping forward to touch him. The mist disappeared instantly. His angry eyes swept me from head to toe.
“You look tumbled,” he said, his growl garbling his words.
“Windblown from the race home.”
“Home,” he sighed and closed his eyes.
“Why are you so upset?”
He opened his eyes, his gaze sweeping over me.
“That is not the dress I gave you.”
“Of course it is. It was in the wardrobe.”
He exhaled slowly.
“Rose replaced the dress I had with this.” He gestured at my dress. “When I discovered the change...what man who saw you in this would let you go?”
The insecurity behind his words made me ache for him, and I realized something vital that I’d overlooked. I’d protected my body from him but not my heart. And while I wasn’t watching, he’d touched it, leaving me marked by his gentle caring. I could no longer imagine my life without the beast.
I stepped close and rested my hand on his chest.
“No man can capture me, only a beast.”
He lifted my hand to his mouth and kissed the palm while his heated gaze searched my face. Was he so unsure of my loyalty?
With a hammering heart, I shrugged one shoulder, easing the sleeve down to expose the top of my breast. His gaze drifted down and stayed riveted on my skin. My nipples reacted, and I knew that he saw. He lifted a finger and traced the outline.
I closed my eyes and pressed my hand over his, holding him to my breast.
“No man,” I said again. “Only a beast.”
A pained sound escaped him, and he picked me up again and brought me to my room, gently laying me on my bed.
This time wasn’t slow and teasing. He tore the dress from me and latched onto the peak of my right breast, suckling roughly. Each pull sent a sizzle of desire straight between my legs. He shifted his attention to the other breast. I sighed with pleasure and threaded my fingers in his fur. His mouth nibbled a quick trail down, and his fingers dug into my thighs as he spread me wide. His breath tickled me for a heartbeat then his tongue laved me from opening to curls. Again and again, a long, slow stroke that had my hips twitching. When he closed his lips over my nub and suckled, I moaned.
“Yes,” I whispered, liking the feeling.
My tension coiled higher as he tongued my opening, licking and sucking as I thrust my hips to meet his plunge. I felt wild, uncontrolled. My legs stiffened, but his hands kept me wide. His mouth found my nub again to suck and flick. A cry burst from me as the tension broke in a torrent of fried nerve endings. I convulsed under his mouth, enjoying each pulse.
Finally, the sensation faded, and my hands fell to the mattress. What felt like hours of pleasure, took only minutes.
As before, he left me. This time, I fell asleep, legs spread wide and still dangling off the mattress.
* * * *
I woke snuggled against him. He kissed me softly but didn’t touch me any further.
“Good morning,” I whispered shyly. He’d tasted me twice, but this was the first time I’d actually faced him afterward.
“Good morning,” he rumbled, combing his fingers through my unfettered hair.
I frowned at the feeling.
“Did you remove the braids?”
“I did...after I returned.”
I blinked, understanding his meaning. “I’m sorry it didn’t work.”
He grunted then surprised me.
“It didn’t work because I don’t want it to work. I refuse to play her game any longer. I am content to stay as I am...if you will stay with me. Marry me,” he said quietly.
My heart expanded at his unexpected proposal, and I knew I wanted nothing more than to say yes. Yet, I knew I could not. His revulsion of Rose held my tongue. Enchanted, he would never age; and one day, he would hold me in as much contempt as he did Rose. My heart broke at the thought, and I struggled to find the right answer to appease him.
I sat up, and he moved off the bed to watch me.
“I will leave something for your husband. I will leave you a virgin.” He bent to a knee and placed a kiss on my bare stomach. “Will you marry me?” he repeated.
My heart jumped and fluttered in excitement despite my best efforts to quell it. If I married him, he would be my husband.
“Well, that’s a convenient way to get around it, isn’t it?”
He grinned, but it didn’t reach his eyes. “I thought so.” He remained on his knee. “And your answer?”
“I can’t marry you,” I said softly. After a hard swallow, I gave him the only reason I could speak aloud. “When I think of you, I have only these titles in my head: sir, master, liege lord, and beast. Where in there is your real name? I know too little about you.”
He stood and nodded, surprisingly calm with my answer. Holding out a hand, he helped me to my feet. His gaze swept over me, bringing a light blush to my cheeks.
“Let’s spend today together,” he said.
“I need a moment first.”
He nodded and left the room.
As soon as the door closed, I collapsed back onto the bed. What had I done? Somehow, along the way, I’d given the beast my heart. He would surely crush it within his too powerful grasp before he even realized he held it. Yet, I couldn’t regret his keeping of my love. Because now, an imagined world without the beast seemed a horrible, lonely place. I was where I belonged.
After I relieved myself and washed, I went to the wardrobe. It was completely empty again. I smiled and moved to the door.
He waited for me in the hallway, as usual, and held out a hand. I wrapped my fingers in his and followed him to the library. A tray waited for us. He motioned for
me to sit on the couch and proceeded to feed me bits of fruit.
“My name is Alec. When I was four, my father gave me my first horse, a pony really. I can barely remember what it looked like but remember thinking it enormous, until Father and I went on our first ride together.” He chuckled at the memory. “I wish I could remember more of my life before he passed away.”
“What about your youth with your mother?”
“After my father died, a large responsibility fell to her. She didn’t have the advantage of a teacher for a father and struggled to learn so much in those first years. I didn’t understand it then, but I see it now. Back then, I only knew that she was very busy.”
“What did you do when she wasn’t busy?” I asked, not liking the sad look he had.
We spent the rest of the day talking about our childhoods.
* * * *
On the fourth morning since my return from the wedding, I ate in my room. The tray had been waiting for me beside my bed, and I knew he had slept with me at least a portion of the night. However, like the morning before, I woke alone.
Though we spent a good portion of our days together, and I remained naked, he had yet to touch me again. Instead, he spent his time telling me of his past, good and bad. I felt compassion for the lonely little boy he’d been but had a hard time understanding the selfish man he’d become. Though his mother had been busy, she’d loved him deeply.
I understood that he told me stories of his past so I could better know him, yet it didn’t achieve his purpose. Those stories told me who he had been and gave some insight into how he’d become enchanted. Yet, they didn’t tell me a thing about who he was now and what his hopes for the future might be. There were still so many questions I wanted to ask him. What did he like eating? What had he done to entertain himself since becoming enchanted? What had he thought the first time the villagers stormed the estate?
When I finished the food, I washed and left the room. Though we spent much time together, he excused himself often to work in his study. I didn’t bring up the subject of my missing clothes, which I knew was the source of his need for distraction. I didn’t want to diminish what he was achieving. Control over himself, regardless of the circumstance.
