by Teresa Roman
I walked out onto the balcony and stared at the castle’s grounds. Frederic’s words rang in my ears. “Willow doesn’t love you.” I shook my head. Her letter had said the same thing, yet I couldn’t bring myself to accept it. Willow left because my brother had chased her away, not because she didn’t love me.
Fury bubbled up inside me. I gripped the rail of the balcony, trying to calm my rage. I was so wrapped up in my thoughts that I didn’t realize Maria had found me until I felt her hand on my shoulder. I turned my head.
“You aren’t thinking of doing anything stupid, are you?”
“What do you mean by that?”
“Wolves can’t fly.”
“You thought I was going to—” I shook my head. There were times, after I’d been cursed, that I’d thought about ending my life, but I’d always held on to a tiny shred of hope that one day my curse would be lifted. “Do you think Frederic was telling the truth? Is he right about Willow?”
“No. I saw the way she looked at you. If she hadn’t truly cared for you, then she wouldn’t have been able to break your curse.”
“Loving someone and caring for them are not the same.”
“The way you feel about Willow, she feels the same way. I know it.”
“How do you know?”
“I just do. In my bones. I know.”
“What about her letter? If she didn’t mean the words she wrote, then why would she leave me?”
“I don’t have an answer for you,” Maria said. “Only Willow does.”
“What should I do?”
“That’s up to you to decide.”
I couldn’t think straight enough to make any decisions. If Willow really didn’t want to be with me, then what right did I have to force myself on her? She’d left Beaver Falls knowing it would break my heart. I’d made my feelings clear to her. Perhaps that had been my mistake. Too much too fast. I’d scared her away. Perhaps if I found her, I could convince her to give us another chance. I’d tell her that we could take things as slowly as she wanted to. But was that what Willow wanted? Only a day ago, I would’ve sworn it was, but now I had doubts. The only thing I knew for sure was that I wouldn’t be able to make a decision until I cleared my head. Pushing past Maria, I ran downstairs. Halfway down the hallway, my clothes tore and fell to the floor as I morphed from human to wolf. I let out a pained howl before bounding away.
Chapter 4
Willow
A few days passed. I spent them trying not to think about Nicolai, but the effort exhausted me. Finn and Claire kept glancing at me, then each other, whenever I was in the same room with them. More than once I heard them whispering, and swore I heard my name mentioned. I accidentally walked in on Sam asking his mother if I was sick. I tried my best to put on a brave face, but without Nicolai, it felt like the world had been drained of color, and in front of me lay an endless sea of gray.
I stared at the dresser where my phone lay, still turned off, wondering if it was safe to turn it back on again. Had Nicolai given up calling? Perhaps Frederic had managed to convince him that he was better off without me. The thought left me feeling raw and hollow. I wanted Nicolai to love me forever, but at the same time, I wanted him to be happy. I couldn’t have it both ways, so I’d have to find a way to accept that one day Nicolai would move on. He’d forget about me, about us, and find someone else to love.
I forced Nicolai out of my head by asking myself where I would go next. I could not stay at Finn’s house indefinitely. For years, I’d wanted to leave Beaver Falls. Dad was the only reason I hadn’t, and now that he was gone, nothing compelled me to return. But the idea of starting a new life somewhere else was daunting. I reminded myself that I didn’t need to make that decision now. My father hadn’t left behind a fortune, but it was enough for me to take that trip to Hawaii I’d always wanted to go on. Except I had no desire to go anymore. Nicolai had once told me he’d show me the world. Would I ever again feel like seeing it without him?
A knock at the door interrupted my thoughts. “Hey, Willow, you got a second?” Finn asked.
“Um, yeah. Sure. Just give me a few minutes. I’ll be right out.”
I pulled myself to my feet, brushed my hair into a ponytail, and pinched a little color into my cheeks. With a deep breath, I went to look for my brother. I found him in the kitchen, drinking a cup of coffee.
“Where are Claire and the boys?”
“Sam and Miles have soccer practice Saturday mornings,” Finn replied.
Was it Saturday already? How had that happened? I sat down at the kitchen table across from my brother. “Do you guys have any exciting weekend plans?”
“I have weekend plans. Not sure if I’d call them exciting, though.”
“Oh really? Care to elaborate?”
Finn leaned back in his chair. “My plan is to convince you to tell me what the heck is going on with you. Claire and the boys will be back in another two hours or so, which doesn’t leave much time, so start talking.”
I frowned. “What is it you want me to say?”
Finn stared at me. “For starters, you can tell me why you’re really here.”
“I just … I needed a break from Beaver Falls, that’s all.”
“Because of Dad?”
I nodded.
“No. There’s more to it than that.” Finn got up, poured some coffee into a mug, and handed it to me before sitting back down.
I added cream and sugar, then stirred my coffee slowly, hoping to stall my brother’s line of questioning.
He raised a brow. “Well?”
I took a big gulp before replying, “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”
Finn stared at me again. “How’s Nicolai doing?”
“Why are you asking about him?”
“The two of you seemed pretty close.”
“Yeah, well, things change.”
“You and Nicolai were dating and now you’re not. Is that what all this is about? Are you here because you’re nursing a broken heart?”
Yes was at the tip of my tongue, but I worried that once I started talking about Nicolai, I wouldn’t be able to stop myself from crying, and I didn’t want to do that. Not in front of Finn. “I’m here because I missed my big brother. Why is that so hard to believe?”
“C’mon, Willow. I’m not an idiot, so stop treating me like one.” Finn ran a hand through his sand-colored hair. “You spend most of your time locked up in the guest room, and when you’re not in there, it’s next to impossible to get a word out of you. I know you miss Dad. So do I. But whatever is going on is more than that.”
“And you figured that pestering me to talk about it would do what? Help?” I wrapped my hands tighter around the mug in front of me and fixed my gaze on it. “You should know better than that.”
Finn took a swallow of his coffee. “Why’d the two of you break up?”
I lifted my head and grimaced. Lying to my brother was pointless. He knew me too well. The more I dodged his questions, the more of them he’d ask. “Nicolai is a prince.”
My brother’s mouth opened and then closed again before he finally said, “You’re not joking? He’s an actual prince?”
I nodded.
Finn sat there, silently processing what I’d just told him before saying, “I don’t see why it should matter. This is the twenty-first century. If you two have feelings for each other, why can’t you guys make it work?”
“It’s complicated,” I said.
“So then explain. I’m pretty sure I can keep up.”
“Nicolai deserves to be happy. His family is important to him. I don’t want to make him have to choose between them and me. Not after everything he’s already been through.” After the words had left my mouth, I realized that I’d said too much. Probably because bottling everything in was driving me crazy. I needed to be more careful.
“What is it that he’s been through?”
“I can’t talk about it.”
“You can’t talk about
it or you won’t?”
“Same difference.”
“You used to trust me. What happened?”
“I still do trust you. It’s just that—”
“You’re afraid that I won’t understand or that I won’t believe you or both.”
How did he know that? Instead of answering, I took a sip of coffee.
“I’ve thought about this a lot over the past few days,” Finn continued. “I almost brought it up when we were talking the other day. The only reason I didn’t was because I wasn’t really sure I was right. But the more I think about it, the more I’m convinced that something is going on that you’re not telling me. Something supernatural.” He cocked an eyebrow. “Am I right?”
I almost choked on my coffee but somehow managed to maintain my composure. “I have no idea what you are talking about.”
“I think you do.” He stared at me intently, searching my face, willing me to confess. “I was ten when Mom died, old enough to know things that Owen and Riley didn’t. Or if they did, they’ve forgotten because they were too young to remember.”
Our conversation had taken a rather surprising turn. Now I was just as eager to get answers from Finn as he was to get answers from me. “Like what?”
“I was never supposed to tell you any of this,” Finn began. He let out a deep breath. “But I have a feeling you already know.”
“Any of what?” I pressed.
“Our mother was a witch. She was afraid you’d be one too. I remember hearing her and Dad talk about it while she was pregnant with you. They didn’t know I used to listen in on their conversations. But what can I say? I was a nosy kid.”
I cocked an eyebrow. “Was?”
“Okay, so I’m still nosy. But you’re my little sister, so I have a right to be concerned.”
I shook my head. “I can’t believe you knew about Mom all this time and never told me.”
“When I was little, Mom used to do all kinds of magic tricks around the house. Then one day, she just stopped. I remember asking her why. She told me that magic could be dangerous. She said soon I’d have a little sister, and it would be my job as her oldest brother to protect her. Mom didn’t want you to know anything about magic or witches. She wanted you to have a normal life. I promised not to say a word. After Mom died, Dad made me promise again. I can’t tell you how many times I was tempted to tell you … or Owen or Riley. But then I remembered Mom’s face, how serious she was when she asked me to keep her secret. You never got a chance to know her, but she was an amazing mother. I didn’t want to let her down by breaking the promise I’d made.”
“So, what changed?”
“What changed is you. You’re not a kid anymore. And you can deny it all you want, but I know you know the truth. Maybe not all of it, but you know something.”
“You’re right. I do.” I closed my eyes for a second, then took a deep breath. “I’ll tell you everything. But you have to promise to keep what I’m about to tell you just between us.”
Finn nodded and lifted his hand. “I swear.”
I rubbed my forehead with my fingertips. “You guessed right when you said I’m here because of Nicolai. What I feel for him, I don’t know how to describe it. We have this connection. I’ve never experienced anything like it in my life. From the moment we met, I wanted him, even though I was dating someone else at the time. I kept trying to talk myself out of it, but I just couldn’t.”
“And Nicolai felt the same way?”
I nodded.
“Then screw his family. Those are not the kind of feelings you just walk away from.”
“It’s not that easy, Finn.” I stared down at my half-empty mug. “Nicolai’s brother told me point-blank that his family would never accept me. Being with me means Nicolai would lose everything—his family, his home, his title. For the past two years, he’s dreamed of returning to that life. I can’t take it away from him.”
“If that life is so important to him, then why didn’t he return to it sooner?”
“He had no choice. Nicolai couldn’t leave Beaver Falls; he couldn’t even leave his castle. That’s the reason he didn’t come with me to Dad’s funeral. Up until a few days ago, he was trapped inside his family’s castle by a curse.”
“A curse?”
I nodded.
Finn pounded the table with his fist. “I knew something strange was going on.”
Biting my lip, I continued, “You don’t know the half of it.”
“So then tell me.”
I opened my mouth to talk, then closed it. Where would I even begin?
“You can trust me, Willow.”
I nodded and then took a deep breath. “It all started when I received an invitation to dinner at the castle.” I launched into the full story, explaining how I’d met Nicolai and everything that had happened since that fateful night. When I got to the part about Peter killing our father, I stopped talking, too choked up with anger and sadness to continue.
Finn’s face darkened. “I knew there was something strange about the way Dad died. All out of the blue like that.”
“I’m sorry. I should’ve told you sooner, but I was worried you’d think I was crazy. And I didn’t want to get you involved in a dangerous situation.”
“It’s okay. I understand why you didn’t tell me.” Finn reached for my hand. I looked up at him. “You blame yourself for what happened to him, don’t you?”
I nodded. “Dad never liked Peter.”
“Fathers never like their daughters’ boyfriends.”
“I begged Maria to heal Dad. But she said it was too late. There was nothing she could do.”
“Where is Peter now?”
“Dead,” I replied in a monotone voice. “Nicolai killed him.”
“Good. Son of a bitch deserved to die.”
“Yeah.” I bowed my head. “But watching it happen was pretty terrifying.”
“What happened?”
I didn’t want to talk about that night. I didn’t even want to think about it, but I’d already told Finn so much that it didn’t feel right not answering his question. He listened without interrupting until I got to the part about waking up in the hospital.
“What the hell! You got stabbed in the chest, and this is the first I’m hearing about it?”
“I’m fine, Finn. Maria healed me.” I rubbed the left side of my chest where Peter’s blade had struck me. It still ached a little. I wasn’t sure if that was all in my head or not. “It’s like the whole thing never happened.”
“Except it did.” Finn pressed his palms to the sides of his head. “So, you’re not just here because you needed me to distract you from your broken heart. You’re also here because you’re hiding from Nicolai. Am I right?”
“Yes.”
“Don’t you think he deserves a say in all this?”
“It’s like I said, I don’t want to get in the way of what’s best for him. His life is in Sarabia. That’s where his family lives. That’s where his future is. I’d rather look back on my time with him and smile than look back on two people who destroyed each other because we were never meant to be in the first place. Because that’s what would happen. We’d try to make it work. I’d struggle to fit into his world, he’d struggle to make his family accept me, but in the end, the stress of it all would wind up tearing us apart.”
“I can see you’ve thought this all through.” Finn ran a hand through his hair. “But there’s one major detail you’ve overlooked.”
“What’s that?”
“If Nicolai loves you as much as you obviously love him, do you really think he’ll just let you walk away? If Claire left me, I’d do whatever was in my power to win her back,” Finn said. “Something tells me that sooner or later, he’ll come looking for you.”
“I didn’t tell anyone where I was going.”
“Do you really think it would be that difficult for him to figure it out? Between his wolf senses and Maria’s magic, I bet they could track you down without
much difficulty. For all you know, Nicolai might be on his way here right now.”
I shook my head. “I don’t think so. Knowing Nicolai’s brothers, they’ve probably convinced him that it’s for the best that I left. All of them wanted to return to Sarabia, badly. With me out of the picture, I took away Nicolai’s only reason to stay.”
“I’m no expert on werewolves, but something tells me that if Nicolai meant what he said about you being his mate, then he won’t be able to just give up on you,” Finn said.
The idea that Nicolai might be looking for me sent a flutter of panic through me. As badly as I wanted it to be true, I also prayed it wasn’t. One look in his eyes and my resolve would melt into a giant puddle. “You really think so?”
Finn nodded.
“What do you think I should do, then?”
“I’m not really sure.” Finn was quiet for a moment, and then his eyes widened. “Actually, I think I have an idea. Do you still have the books you said Maria gave you?”
I shook my head. “No. I left them at the castle.”
“We gotta get our hands on some other ones, then.” As soon as those words left Finn’s mouth, he sprang from his chair. “C’mon,” he said, tugging me by my hand. “I have a plan.”
“Wait. What plan? Where are we going?”
“To pay Aunt Delilah a visit. She’ll know what to do.”
“Right now?”
“Yeah. Delilah lives in Ithaca. It’s only about an hour away.”
It was a crazy idea. Driving to Ithaca to talk to an aunt whom I hadn’t seen in years. But the more I thought about it, the more it made sense. When I’d left Beaver Falls, it was because I’d made a choice to sacrifice my happiness for Nicolai’s. No matter how difficult that choice was proving to be, I had every intention of seeing it through.
Chapter 5
Nicolai
