“Aye. Will be back next week. Perchance I may still have it. Ye can buy it then.”
I wouldn’t have the money next week either, and was too embarrassed to say. I also had the misfortune of not being able to lie, so I simply nodded and turned to walk away.
And walked right into someone’s chest.
“Oh, my goodness. I do apologize. Forgive me.”
“Elin?”
I looked up into the eyes of Monk Searly, and for the first time all day, a genuine smile eased across my face.
“How are you? I haven’t seen you in the library in quite some time.”
The library. Blast. That took my thoughts right to Lord Lochlan. My smile slipped, but I caught it in time and forced it back in place. “I am well, thank you. And yourself?”
“Aye. I am blessed.” He eyed the owl I had been admiring. “That is quite beautiful, isn’t it?”
“Indeed.”
He studied the carved owl thoughtfully before bringing his attention back to me. “Well now, I hope you come back to the monastery soon, my child. I have gotten quite used to your company.”
I inclined my head in confusion. “You have? I hardly see you when I’m there.”
He shrugged noncommittally. “Aye. But I know you’re there, lass, and you brighten up the place.” His deep brown eyes and kind countenance was every bit as sincere as his words.
I dipped my head, warmth suffusing my cheeks, not used to such kindness from others.
The moment pulled until I felt the need to excuse myself. “I must be getting home. I’ll come by the library soon.”
“Good. We’ll be looking forward to seeing you.”
“We?”
Mischievousness tugged and pulled along Monk Searly’s lips, but he said nothing else, merely tipped his head and went about his way.
I did not wait weeks or even days to go to the monastery after my brief encounter with Monk Searly. I waited only hours.
I had gone home, slept, and awakened early to complete my chores before hurrying off, and as I stood in the library, I cursed myself for being impatient and weak. I don’t know what drove me to do it. I almost convinced myself it was to please Monk Searly, but in truth, I knew better. I wanted to see Lord Lochlan. That was the damnable thing of it, because he most certainly did not want to see me.
I removed my cloak and draped it over a chair, and immediately began fidgeting with my dress. My clothes weren’t stylish, mostly drab and unappealing, though I had chosen something of color this day, a simple blue dress with a keyhole neckline. The flow of the top dress reached the floor generously with a leather belt worn high around my waist. The sleeves were wide and a bit shorter than my arms with blue bands cut from the same fabric as the dress to break the flow above my elbows.
Blast. I shouldn’t care how I looked, yet I did.
“Who taught you to read?” a voice asked, sounding deep and casual.
Swallowing, I straightened and said, “My mother.”
Lord Lochlan stepped out of a darkened corner, keeping his distance. “Mmmm. And why is that?”
His pale green gaze traveled the length of my body before reaching my eyes. He maintained eye contact and then his dark eyebrows arched expectantly, awaiting my answer.
“She wanted me to learn.”
My skin tingled beneath his scrutiny. I walked over to a bookshelf, pretending to read the spines as I provided more insight. “My mother is of the mind that knowledge is power and she wanted me armed with it. I suppose it was her way of keeping me independent, without relying on others for information. I could simply read for myself if I wanted answers to a question.”
I did not meet his eyes again, fearing I would be set aflame. I needn’t touch my skin to know it was hot. I was flushed all over.
I pulled a random book off a shelf and cracked it open. I was here to read after all.
Next to Lord Lochlan a lantern flickered out, causing the space to darken. He waved his hand over it once and the flame reignited.
I stood, mouth agape. “How did you do that?”
He stared at me with no expression at all, his posture straight and stiff. “Making fire is the least of what I can do.”
Right. He can kill with a simple touch. I nodded, stricken with a bit of nausea at the thought. “Of course.”
He dipped his head, working diligently to avoid my eyes altogether. “I’ll leave you to your studies.”
“Wait.” It was out of my mouth before I could stop it. The loneliness on his face was even more pronounced than I remembered. He stopped and waited for me to speak. “Would you like to stay perhaps? We could talk some if that interests you.”
Stupid, stupid girl.
I cringed inwardly at my forwardness. “Or not,” I said, shrugging like it mattered not to me either way.
He stared at me like I was the one who could make fire out of nothing. “Why would you want to talk to me?”
I would not give him pity, but I could offer sympathy, for I knew how it felt to be lonely. “Why wouldn’t I? Do you have somewhere else to be?”
He shook his head.
“Then…” I pointed to a chair far enough away that neither one of us should feel uncomfortable, “…stay and keep me company.”
It took him a moment to decide. He made his way over to the chair and sat down. His demeanor was rigid and serious, like he was holding court rather than making conversation. I suddenly felt the urge to dissolve, fade into the background. I shifted in my seat, trying to appear relaxed, however, my insides churned with unease.
Quiet passed between us, and it threaded into another, until it eventually stretched into a debilitating stalemate, neither of us having the faintest idea what to say. Finally, I broke the tension that was choking the air out of the room by saying, “I can read people’s thoughts. Not all of them.” I waved my hand dismissively. “Only their happiest ones.” Lord Lochlan said nothing, only continued his speculative gaze of me. “However, I cannot see yours,” I added. Interest flittered behind his stony countenance, but just as quickly as it had arrived, it left. “Why is that?” I asked.
His mouth dipped into a frown and the lines around his eyes pinched. Still, he did not speak.
“You do not have to answer, of course. I was only curious as to why. Although I’m also curious why you don’t seem too surprised in the least by my admission. I would like to know why that is.”
His mouth opened and then closed. Then he said, “I–I believe you. That’s all.”
I leaned forward and toyed with the cuff of my sleeve. He angled his body further back in his chair, a crease forming between his brows. He looked perplexed. I wondered if I looked perplexed as well.
“All right then.” If he didn’t want to reveal why it is I cannot see his thoughts then I wouldn’t push. For now. Taking a deep breath, I said, “That is my secret. The one I hide from the world. I decided to share it with you since you shared yours with me. I realize it is not the same. Our burdens are not the same. Although, I do understand hiding away, not trusting myself to be around people. I was shunned as a child, ridiculed beyond measure. Threatened. My parents and I fled our home and came here where we have remained. I have not told another soul since moving here what I can do. You are the first.”
His eyes closed and his chest rose. It appeared he was breathing in my words and I waited for his eyes to open again before continuing. When our eyes met, I said, “People often fear what they do not understand. Do you fear me, Lord Lochlan?”
“No,” he said, his voice overly rough.
I stopped toying with my sleeve and stilled. “Good. I am not afraid of you either.”
A smile. A tiny, miniscule smile curled up the edge of his mouth and I took delight in it. More than a girl probably should but never mind that. I closed the book resting on my lap, stood, and placed it back on the shelf.
“I’m glad we got that out of the way. Now then…” I made my way toward the door and turned to bid him goodnight. He
sat, staring at nothing, though obviously contemplating many things. “I should be going. Thank you for keeping me company, Lord. I shall see myself out.”
I shouldn’t have let her go.
That was the thought that stabbed at his mind like a jagged blade, drawing him to stand. He blinked rapidly, trying to quell the tremble in his chest.
On shaky legs, he ran to the window. Darkness had fallen and everything was awash in a red hue. The moon bled crimson, though that was not what troubled him, for the moon was his normal. What troubled him was that something dark and ominous was lurking about Mirova and Lord Lochlan felt its presence as sure as he felt his own heartbeat. He had sensed it in the library with her, and he had beat back the feeling, wanting to concentrate solely on her words.
He had been a fool.
He fled his room, ran down the long maze of hallways until he came to the door that belonged to Searly. Pounding with both fists, he yelled, “Open up! We have to go!”
The door flew open and the bewildered monk stood staring at Lord Lochlan, aghast. “What is the trouble, milord?”
“Elin! She’s in danger.”
Something was wrong.
Terribly wrong.
Ash flitted in the air like snow, the smell of wood burning hit me like a slap to the face, and the way the sky was changing from light to dark caused my heart to beat like an anvil inside my chest. The clouds circled and swirled like they were angry, living, breathing entities.
I heard my mother scream and my father shout. I dropped the flowers I’d picked for Mother after I left the monastery and ran like the wind, dodging and weaving around limbs that resembled spindly fingers, scratching and clawing at my clothes. By the time I emerged from the thick of the forest, I saw my house engulfed in flames. My father’s horse neighed and bucked in the old barn until my mother set it free. He reared up on his hind legs and galloped off, almost trampling her to the ground.
“Mother!”
I paused for only a second, trying to comprehend the sight before me, then I rushed forward. Fire licked the walls and roof of my home like a hungry beast. It crackled and flared, popped and roared. Glowing embers twisted in the air in a fiery dance, cascading to the earth and igniting the vulnerable tinder below. More fire spread and thick plumes of gray-black smoke wound and twisted in the hot air like a serpent readying to strike.
“You can’t have her!” Father shouted. “I won’t let you!”
The serpentine smoke hissed like a demon and coiled like a snake. Its teeth were long, pointed, and deadly, its eyes burning orange and yellow like fire. Its chest also burned with the same light. It struck my father down in a blindingly quick blow.
I stopped short and fell to my knees. “Father!”
The thing twisted in my direction and stared at me while I stared back with wide eyes, unable to comprehend, my mind desperately trying to make sense out of the senseless. The smoke was alive. Some kind of – monster it was. It mounted on legs that smoldered and it breathed fire.
“Run, Elin! Run!” my mother screamed.
Promptly I stood, scooping up the ends of my dress in my fists while I raced away from the fire breathing monster, away from the nightmare.
A figure emerged in front of me like smoke from the ground and formed the shape of a man with glowing, flaming eyes.
My mother’s voice rose above the roar of the fire and the chaos. “They found us, Elin! You have to run! You have to get away!”
I couldn’t utter a sound or will my legs to move. I couldn’t just leave my parents behind. I blinked, hoping my eyes were playing tricks on me.
This isn’t real…this isn’t real…this isn’t real.
The monster leaped toward me. A flash of black flew out of nowhere and sliced through the monster with his bare hands, ripping the light from its chest. The monster howled, evaporating in a steaming hiss.
From behind, arms wrapped around me and pulled me away as several more monsters emerged from the ground. A bloodcurdling scream rang in my ears as I kicked and punched at whoever held me.
“It’s me, child. Monk Searly. I’m going to get you out of here.”
“My parents!” I cried. “I have to save them!”
“You can’t save them, lass.”
“I have to try!”
I broke free from his hold and darted toward the flames, toward my father who was lying unmoving on the ground. The black figure was fighting all the monsters alone, killing them in quick succession the same way he’d killed the first. He spun around at my approach and shouted in a voice loud as thunder, “GET HER OUT OF HERE!”
Lord Lochlan’s pale eyes pierced mine, and in a roar, he sliced the air in a backhanded fashion, sending me sailing through the air until I landed several paces back, my head hitting the ground with a hard thwack.
Everything went black.
Halfway back to the monastery, I awakened, disoriented and dizzy inside a covered wagon. A hand touched my shoulder, causing me to stir.
“It’s all right, lass. You’re safe now.” Monk Searly sat next to me, his caring eyes evaluating my state of being. “Are you hurt?”
My heart hurt and the pain of it was so insurmountable I couldn’t contain it. Tears filled my eyes and washed down my cheeks. I sobbed the whole way while Monk Searly cradled me in his arms.
When we arrived at the monastery, Monk Searly simply carried me inside. He spoke quietly to the other monks when we passed them in the halls. I never even bothered to lift my head. Entering a small room, he gingerly placed me on the bed. I curled into myself while he placed a blanket over me.
I was lying in a bed not my own, in an unfamiliar room, alone and afraid. It was dark except for the sickly light from the hallway highlighting the shape of a door. Footsteps paced on the other side, blocking the light with each pass.
I stared at the door, thinking about all I had lost. My home. My parents. It had all happened so quickly. I’d had no time to process it.
Monsters killed my parents and destroyed my home.
Why?
Muffled voices sounded on the other side of the door. I strained to listen.
“She’s safe here, milord. We shall make sure of it. We have warded all four corners against evil. Nothing will get to her here.”
“I know.” Lord Lochlan’s voice sounded strained and tired.
“She’ll need to mourn her losses,” Monk Searly continued. “We’ll give her privacy. We’ll also be available for her should she need consoling…or counseling.”
“Is she all right? Did I hurt her?”
“You did not hurt her, milord. I checked her for wounds. A bump on the head is all.” There was a brief pause before Monk Searly spoke again. “The war has begun, hasn’t it?”
I closed my eyes, tears soaking my pillow, wishing I couldn’t hear what they spoke of.
Lord Lochlan sighed. I imagined him running his long fingers through his jet black hair, his unnatural eyes heavily burdened. “Yes. It has. Searly, I believe,” he paused, “this was my fault. I believe they killed her parents and would have killed her had we not gotten there in time…because of me.”
“Why would you think that, milord? How could this–”
“Because,” Lord Lochlan hissed, “I am cursed. I let her get too close. I think they have known all along where I have been. They went after her instead of coming after me. This was supposed to be my punishment for having…” Lord Lochlan smashed the wall with his fist and I flinched in surprise.
“For having what? Feelings?”
“I was never supposed to be accepted by Fae or Man, Searly. You know this.”
“We shall find out. Be assured. But I do not believe this is because of the curse. I fear it may be something else entirely.”
Neither man spoke again. A moment later Monk Searly left, his footsteps fading down the hallway.
Lord Lochlan resumed his pacing until he came to rest on the floor, his back against the door. I could hear the tremble in his breathing.
I wondered if he could hear the tremble in mine.
I stretched a hand out toward him, feeling heartsick and broken, and closed my eyes once more, knowing that the Lord of Mirova was watching over me tonight.
I wish that knowledge could have brought me a sliver of comfort.
It did not. I feared I would never feel comfort again, especially if he was the reason my parents were now dead.
It’s funny the things you do unawares when your mind shuts down and grief takes over. I didn’t even remember the woman coming into my room, summoning me out of bed. Here we were, standing in a room with a wooden tub in the center. The smell of scented oils and flower petals wafted in the air. I blinked and tried to focus.
The woman moved behind me and began the task of unbuttoning my dress. I let her because I was numb and drifting between real and imaginary. Maybe I was dreaming and not really here. Perhaps the ache in my chest wasn’t real either. I could have dreamt it all. A nightmare to rival all nightmares and I had yet to awaken. That would explain it.
Then the fetid smell of smoke and death stung my nose and I knew this was all very, very real.
I began tearing at my dress, clawing at myself to get out of it. I wanted it off.
“Easy, child. We shall get ye out of it. Take it easy.” Her voice was soft, gentle with understanding. She wasn’t the one wearing the reminder, breathing in the putrid smell that would haunt my memories for the rest of my life.
“Get it off me! Get it off me!”
“There,” she said, unfastening the last button. She eased the dress off my shoulders and I tugged hastily at the sleeves, ripping, pulling, and tearing at the seams until I stood completely naked and shivering.
The dress was off and that was all I cared about.
The steam from the tub beckoned me to climb in. On trembling legs, I eased over to it while the woman helped to steady my balance. I swung one leg over, feeling the warmth of the water lap against my calf as I held onto the edge. Pulling my other leg over the lip of the tub, I sank down and held my knees against my chest.
The Moon Shines Red (Heart of Darkness Book 1) Page 4
