There was a worried silence that hovered over our heads. If worries could be measured, then Lochlan’s worries would be the weight of a thousand moons. I wanted to reassure him that I had indeed slept. At least some.
Forcing my eyes to meet his, I pulled back a smile, hoping my smile outweighed his concerns. “I did sleep. I assure you.” I promptly turned my back to him and pretended to care what the birds were tweeting about outside my window.
“I want you to wear this today,” said Lochlan, after a pause.
I turned around and spotted the garments he’d placed on the bed. “Those are men’s clothes,” I said, staring at the tunic and breeches. Then I glared at him and repeated, “Those are men’s clothes.”
“So I’ve heard,” he said, turning to leave.
“Wait. I can’t wear–”
“This isn’t open for discussion, Elin.” He opened the door and then stared straight ahead into the hallway, rather than at me. He inhaled a lungful of air, his back expanded, shoulders lifting, letting it out, long and slow. “You need to learn your powers and we haven’t much time. I do not want to waste a minute of it because you tripped over your skirts. Wear the breeches, Elin. Please.”
I did not want to get into a battle with Lochlan over garments. There were much bigger issues at hand, so I acquiesced. “I suppose that makes sense.”
“Good. Meet me outside by the stables when you have finished dressing.”
With that, he closed the door.
I detected hushed murmurs as I approached Lochlan and Searly. They seemed to be in deep conversation and I thought about not intruding, slowing my pace, but the smell of something delicious roused my appetite and spurred my feet onward. For days, I’d only consumed enough food to keep me from collapsing, but the morning after remembering who I was, I was hungry. Famished even.
“Is that for me?” I asked when Searly handed me warm bread, my mouth watering at the sight of it.
“Aye.” He jutted his thumb in Lochlan’s direction. “He would not wait for a proper morning meal. This will tide you over until you get to the manor.”
“Thank you,” I said, pinching off a piece and placing it inside my mouth.
“Well then,” Searly said, eyeing me carefully, taking in the tunic I was wearing and the legs of the breeches tucked into my boots, though he refrained from commenting. Rather, he said, “I heard about the happenings of last night. Lochlan has filled me in. We did not know. We never heard a thing. If we had, I assure you–”
“There was nothing you could have done, Searly,” I said. “This is my battle anyway. I am sorry I brought this upon you. I shudder to think what could have happened.”
“Don’t,” Searly said.
“I do not want this war,” I continued. “I did not ask for it. I do not wish for innocent people to be caught in the middle. I am sorry my past caught up to me inside your monastery. Your home.”
He removed two small square pieces of cloth, joined by two thin strips of cloth from around his neck, and placed it over my head, allowing one of the square pieces to rest against my chest and the other piece to rest against my back. “Si vis pacem, para bellum.”
I shook my head. “I don’t understand.”
“Do you want peace, Elin?”
“Yes, of course I do.”
He repeated the phrase. “Si vis pacem, para bellum. If you want peace…prepare for war. It has always been so. You can be sorry, or you can prepare. Either way, the battle has already begun.” Pointing to the gift he’d given me, he said, “This is a devotional scapular. It has been blessed and will serve to keep you safe. Do not take it off.”
Touching the brown cloth, I said, “I will not. I promise.”
“We will not be far away should either of you need anything. In the meantime, we will be saying prayers for you both day and night. Not an hour will pass that your names will not be raised up to the Heavens in a quest for guidance, mercy, and for God’s will to be done.” With a kiss on both my cheeks, Searly said, “Peace be with you both.” Searly gazed at Lochlan with affection blazing in his eyes, and Lochlan’s pale eyes reciprocated the emotion.
Once Searly retreated back inside the monastery, Lochlan and I were alone. He had not spoken a word since I’d arrived and he purposely refused to meet my eyes.
“Are we traveling by horse?” I asked.
He picked up a leather bag and walked toward the stables. “Yes.” His stride was quick and brusque. Each step kicked up eddies of dust and dirt, and his cloak whipped at his feet.
I followed behind, annoyed that he wouldn’t look at me. He slung the bag across the back of a horse and began to strap it down, where other side bags had already been secured. Prickles of unease danced across my skin and I had to wonder if he was regretting his offer to help me. He secured the strap like he was annoyed as well, and I tried to slow the rhythm of my heart that hammered against my ribs.
He moved to the front of the horse and rubbed his hand down the side of its head, murmuring soothing words to the animal. The horse seemed to sigh in Lochlan’s presence, and nodded its head, as if he’d understood the words Lochlan had spoken.
My gaze locked on Lochlan’s long fingers as he stroked the animal’s brown fur, down the length of its nose, and back up again. I closed my eyes, wishing I knew what his touch felt like. Warm and callused, I’d assume, yet delicate in ways that would leave me shuddering...
I snapped my eyes open. “You can touch him?” I asked, pointing to the horse. The sting of jealousy made my words sharp, and my face instantly warmed, then turned hot, and I forced myself to look away. I was jealous of a horse and embarrassed I’d made the question sound like an accusation. “What I meant was…I didn’t think you could touch–”
“The curse restricts me from touching Fae and humans, Elin.” I turned back to face him then. His eyes were troubled, his soul conflicted. He quickly turned from me again and said, “So long as the animal is pure, I can touch them.”
“Pure?”
“Fae have the power to transform to animal form if they so choose,” he said, putting on a pair of gloves. “But the illusion would not protect them from my curse.”
“Oh,” I said, trying to hold an air of detachment. In truth, once I’d managed to elbow past the jealousy, I felt an element of gratitude toward the horse, for the horse was miraculous to me, a creature unaffected by Lochlan’s curse. When Lochlan moved to the other side of the stable, I stepped toward the large animal and traced my hand over the exact places Lochlan had touched.
“His name is Conall, which means, ‘strong as a wolf’, he told me, leading two other horses out. “This one here is Paladin, which means, ‘fear of nothing’. And this one is Pippa, whose name means, ‘wonderfully intelligent’.”
I beamed at the two beautiful animals before me. One was white, the other solid black. I stepped toward them unhurriedly and petted both on the soft fur between their eyes. “Hi there,” I said, softly. I could literally see the intelligence in Pippa’s eyes. Staring into the eyes of Paladin, I knew most assuredly she wasn’t afraid of me since her name indicated she wasn’t afraid of anything.
Lochlan remained quiet, though I felt his eyes watching my every move. “Right then,” he said after a moment. “I’ll ride Paladin, you ride Pippa, and Conall will follow behind.”
Lochlan was in a mood. He was distant, and the complete opposite of the way he had been the night before.
The only sounds between us were the tlop, tlop, tlop of the horses’ hooves as we rode along the dirt road. I kept stealing glances at him, wondering why he wasn’t speaking to me.
Hoping to break the stalemate, I asked, “How long have you known Searly?”
His eyes veered toward the sky, and he breathed out an aggravated sigh. “His whole life,” he bit out tersely.
I fought the sting of tears that threatened to spill. His coldness made me shiver and I couldn’t help wondering what I had done wrong. “Are you mad at me?”
His eyes retreated from the sky and focused on the path straight ahead. “We are not going on a retreat, Elin. I am trying to help you and so far you are not doing what I have asked you to do.”
“Like what?”
“Getting rest, for one. It was a simple request.”
I cocked my head in his direction, feeling angry and foolish suddenly. Foolish that I had wanted to rest near him when clearly he did not feel the same. I straightened my shoulders and jutted my chin forward.
I would not make the same mistake again.
He had a plan.
Though, the more he thought about it, the more he hated his plan. After leaving Elin’s room last night everything had felt so drastic, like he had no time to prepare her for the fight of her life. And drastic times called for drastic measures.
Now, in the light of day, he wondered if his plan itself was drastic. His heart and mind battled to find a balance between what he needed to do and what he wanted to do. What he wanted wasn’t doing what his plan entailed.
For starters, Elin wasn’t well rested and he had hoped she would be. He would be putting her through grueling activities, and he needed her to be strong, fully aware, and alert. Her life was in danger, damn it!
His grip on the reins tightened and he made himself unclench his fist.
“Are you sorry?” Elin asked, cutting through his internal war.
He swallowed. “About what?”
They had been riding for over half an hour, and all he could do was flip things over in his mind. He had never had to teach anyone to use their powers. What if he failed to teach her in time? God. He blew out a breath. He had never cared about anyone this much before. Searly had been his only real friend in all of his years. And now…
“For your offer to help me. Clearly, you are having second thoughts.”
He would never be sorry for offering his help, though she may be sorry she’d accepted it.
“No,” he answered, still stuck in his frenzied thoughts, and focused on the path ahead, which paralleled the forest to their right; to their left were fields of wheat. He could see anything coming from that direction. It was the forest that concerned him, which was why he insisted he ride closest to the primordial line of century-old trees with sprawling limbs that guarded the darkness within, blotting out the light. The manor wasn’t far, but he needed to keep his head on straight, keep his eyes and ears open for anything unexpected.
Following the winding dirt road, it now tapered away from the open space on their left to a narrower path, a darker one, where ghoulish sounds ghosted through the trees. It was then he realized what the bottom line was – her safety. Along with the fact he was responsible for her. He pushed his doubts down deep into his gut and ignored the stomachache it gave him.
She huffed. “I can feel your unease, you know. It’s suffocating.”
“My unease?” Heat coiled underneath his left cheek where her eyes were leveled. He begged silently for a breeze to come and cool his burning skin.
“I am not daft. You regret the offer to help me. I can sense it. Stop denying it and be honest with me.”
He said nothing. From the corner of his eye, he could see her lip quiver and then she squared her shoulders, determined to keep her pride.
“Fine,” she said. “I can find the manor on my own. You can go back. I don’t need your help.”
“No!” he snapped, drawing back on the reins, his horse coming to an abrupt stop. “I will not leave you alone.”
“Why?” she snapped back, coming to a stop as well. “It is obvious you do not wish to be here. You won’t even look at me.”
Won’t look at her?
He hadn’t stopped looking at her since he met her. She was all he saw, and was about to say as much when he felt a slight vibration fill the air, causing him to spin around.
“What? What is it?” she asked.
“Do you feel that?”
“Feel what?”
“Damn it, Elin. Do you feel the air? Stop thinking and experiencing the world as a human and start experiencing the world through your powers.”
“I-I—” she stuttered.
“I’m sorry. I don’t mean me to be terse. I’m just…we need to go.”
The breeze he had asked for only moments ago now stirred the leaves, whipping up a pungent tang of mold and decay. A haunting whistling echoed and he heard Elin draw in a sharp breath.
“That whistling,” she said, with more air than voice.
“I know. Let us go.”
The horses had sensed the ominous vibe in the air as well and cocked back on their hind legs. “Easy, easy, girl,” he said to Paladin, patting the side of her neck. The packhorse neighed and nickered, his ears flicking rapidly, and Lochlan tried to calm him too.
“Easy, Pippa,” Elin said, leaning forward and placing her cheek on the beast’s fur. “We’re going. We’re going.” She sat back up and urged Pippa to move forward at a much quicker pace than they had been traveling.
Lochlan pulled at the lead rope, instructing Conall to follow.
Then Zeph appeared in front of them, snarling, and looking pleased, like he had anticipated their arrival.
Elin pulled back on the reins to bring Pippa to a stop. Lochlan brought Paladin to a stop as well, and his eyes instinctually sought Elin’s.
“We meet again,” Zeph said, amusement shining in his clear eyes…foreign for a Dark Fae. In fact, everything about him seemed…wrong.
“Ah, you missed me?” Lochlan chided, turning his attention to the monster before them. “You should have said something. I would have paid you a visit, perhaps brought something for dessert. Poison apple, perhaps?”
Zeph’s lip twisted. His dark eyebrows lowered. “Silence, half-breed. I am here for the girl.” He spread his arms out wide. “No wards out here to keep me away.” He took a bow. “I am here in the flesh. And I plan on getting what I came for.”
“Well,” Lochlan said, climbing down from his horse, “I’m rather not inclined to give her to you.” He stepped in front of Elin’s horse and held her bridle, holding her still, keeping her calm by placing one hand on her face, petting her in long, soothing strokes. Pippa relaxed beneath his gloved palm. Keeping his eyes on Zeph, he whispered to Elin, “You have more power than he. And he cannot conjure it, only manipulate the energy around him. You can burn him like bread, you know. The smell would be awful, though, so do keep that in mind.”
“What?” Elin asked under her breath. “Lochlan, you know I can’t use my—”
“What was that?” Zeph queried. “I can hear you, you know. We Fae have impeccable hearing.” He angled his head. “Unless, you don’t know? Oh, this is magnificent. Catching you unawares of what you truly are.” He laughed, evil never sounding so cruel. “I admit, I had hoped for a challenge. You make this too easy. Tell me, how are the parents?”
Lochlan could sense Elin’s temper flare and he couldn’t help the grin that inched along one side of his mouth.
“Shut up,” Elin hissed.
“Oh, tender subject?” Zeph tsk’d. “Do allow me to apologize. In truth, the plan wasn’t to harm them. But such is life. They got in the way. Pity.”
Lochlan could feel the heat rising inside Elin, flames licking the surface to be set free, for he knew talking about her parents would be the thing to ignite the fury within her.
“In a moment, Zeph will throw a fireball at you,” Lochlan said, speaking to her mind. “He is not here to collect you. He is here to kill you. Fire is energy. All you have to do is redirect that energy right back at him.”
“How do you know that?”
He wanted to smile. She had spoken to his mind and had not even realized it. “Trust me. I can read him like a book.”
“But how do I–“
“Remember who you are. You control the elements. Earth, wind, fire, and water. You create LIGHT. The very air we breathe is under your command. Will it to happen, and it will be so.”
He could hear her heart pounding r
uthlessly against her chest, her blood rushing through her veins. He wanted to reassure her she could do this, but he practiced his stoic expression, knowing his calm was what she needed most.
Zeph launched a fireball right at Elin’s head, just as Lochlan said he would. And then for Lochlan, time slowed to a crawl.
Elin’s eyes widened in fright and disbelief, and without blinking, her hand shot out in front of her, palm facing Zeph and the fireball reversed course, setting Zeph ablaze.
Time caught back up to Lochlan with a popping sound in his ears, and he breathed a sigh of relief.
The horses backed up from the heat of the flames and Lochlan thought it best to ease all parties involved. With a wave of his hand, Zeph and the flames disappeared.
The horses immediately calmed again, and he chanced a glance at Elin, who was still staring where Zeph had just been.
She blinked once, twice, three times. “What just happened?” When her frazzled mind and still frightened eyes darted down to his, she repeated, “What just happened?”
Knowing he was dealing with an emotional woman, a woman who could call on the Earth to swallow him whole, he took a deep breath and admitted the truth.
“An illusion,” he said. “One I conjured.” Even though he felt more than a little worried she would set him on fire now, he still couldn’t help grinning at her. “Well done, luv. You have passed your first lesson.”
“You conjured Zeph? This wasn’t real? You tricked me?”
Lochlan stared into my eyes and without the least bit of remorse said, “Yes.”
“Why would you do that?”
“To teach you how to use your powers, Elin. I told you, we haven’t much time and you have to be ready.”
“No,” I said. “Why would you use my parents’ deaths like that?” I shook my head, trying to hold back the hurt and anger. “How could you use them like that? Play on my emotions?”
“Elin, I–”
“You know better than anyone how destroyed I am.”
“Elin, I’m–”
I gave the command for Pippa to walk. “You destroyed me all over again.” A tear slipped down my cheek.
The Moon Shines Red (Heart of Darkness Book 1) Page 8
