Well, I have spent too much time on you this last week or so, girlfriend. I sometimes think I need to send you just one simple paragraph most of the time, but I always get carried away and ramble on. One thing just leads to another. I hope you don’t mind, and I hope you don’t mind me calling you girlfriend. It’s just a slang term and is meant to be sent in a friendly kind of way.
I’ve been getting bored lately too, and I’ve decided I need to get a new hobby or two. I’m sure Mary would appreciate it if I would do a little more cooking and cleaning, and that might not be a bad idea. I think I’m going to get college football tickets next year, no matter what my station in life may be. I think that would be a fun thing to do. My little wife has crimped me in many ways over the years. I tell folks the truth, “She’s rated G and I’m rated PG-13.” Go to Vegas? Not with Mary, Wendover either. Action movies? Not often. I had recent thoughts of going to the Dana Carvey show in Wendover, but those thoughts were just fleeting—I couldn’t do it with Mary. Jeff Dunham would be great—or not. I ask, “Where do you want to go on vacation? Or where do you want to eat? Or what do you want to do? And she always defers to me and concocts these stories in her head that I’m some kind of an Ass-hat that she dares not give her opinion to, because I don’t listen to her anyway. Bottom line, I don’t really know what she likes to do. I often think, “She doesn’t have a fun bone in her body.” Her life is driven by duty, but I think folks need a little balance in their life. Don’t you?
So there you go. I went off again. It’s only been thirty five years that I’ve struggled, not very long at all. When I left your house a few weeks ago, you gave me some sage advice. You said, “Don’t rush your decision.” I appreciated it but I thought, Geez, after all these years it’s not like I haven’t thought about it. I gave up trying to make her happy about ten years ago, because nothing ever seemed to work, after countless years of effort.
I hope you don’t think that I’m terrible. This just shows you some of my frustrations. And by the way, she went off like a firework yesterday, right into her January mode, and now I can’t even remember what it was all about. Men are that way—we just forget. But she rolled her terrible eyes and she gnashed her terrible teeth. She howled at the moon and then went into the bedroom and closed her door tight for the rest of the night, sealing me off in the family room. I could have used a visit to your house, I was feeling pretty low.
Well, I’ll miss you when you’re gone for a week. So I’ll send you off with this one more long e-mail, then when you come back I’ll get in the habit of writing just short ones. Do you believe that? Neither do I. I’ll watch and see what you write tomorrow night and I might not even send any of this off. Your e-mail could change the dynamics of everything.
I have the distinct feeling that you’re not going to let me come to your house before you leave, and that’s okay, but I would like to talk to you about a few things, sometime. And I’m a little nervous to come again, probably like you are, but don’t be scared. I’m a gentleman and will not push things too far.
And you’re a foxy grandma, Callii. That’s why I want to come.
Goodnight again dear Jo. Your friend, Levi
***
Well, it’s Tuesday night, and what a day it was today. I had a legion of Firemen tromping through my house at five o’clock this morning. After a full inspection they said the burning smell was coming through the vents and I needed to call in a heating and air conditioning guy. I will likely need a new furnace. The old one is not working now so we go upstairs to get warm. I’m sitting by an open fire in the family room right now. It’s my only choice. And I finally gave up on rebuilding my old computer that has crashed. The Geek Squad guy agreed, so I bought a new laptop as well. There is a large sucking sound coming from the Stone household right now. Dollar bills are flying out the doorway and into the night—or are those twenties.
I don’t know what else to say, so I’m gonna’ stop.
Goodnight, Levi
***
Well, here I am again at four a.m. The alarm clock goes off at five. The main furnace is not working so I’m upstairs where it’s warm. Mary is sleeping in the master bedroom. It’s cold down there, about fifty according to the thermostat, and so Mary is sleeping in a cold bed again. That seems about right.
I was lying in bed, semi-comatose just now, when I thought about your trip and began worrying about the weather. (See how you affect me?) I just checked the ten day forecast on weather.com and it looks like your Friday driving day will be good, but it shows snow when you’re driving back. But not to worry, ten days out they can’t really tell. So you should keep an eye on it anyway.
I was feeling a bit unsettled the last few days. It’s hard to share the inner workings of your soul, with someone on the other end, when you think they are cooling to you. I was afraid I was making a fool of myself. The way I see it, if I’m going to trade in one grandma for another, the new one needs to love me dearly, or it simply isn’t worth it. That’s what I want. I don’t want to die being hated and held in contempt. When I die I want to break someone’s heart. Or if she dies first I want to be devastated, because I love her so much and will miss her so much that I will never get over it.
I’m reminded of a customer I talked to last year. He was sixty five years old and he was redeeming money to buy a new convertible. His wife had died about seven years previous and he was just beginning to date a bit. I asked him what his late wife would have thought about the car. He got emotional and said, “Oh, she would have loved it.” I could just feel the tenderness.
So there you go, some more rambling in a note that was written in a state of semi-despair.
And so, dear Callii, you don’t know how “into” you I really am. This has never happened to me before. I have a love for you that is deep and real, no matter what may come, and I think you realize that.
Well, I’m gonna’ go catch a little sleep before the alarm goes off, very little sleep, but some anyway.
We’ll talk later. Your friend, Levi
***
Well, now it’s ten o’clock, Wednesday, and I’m going to bed. I am exhausted. I’m a little worried about you. You’re leaving for Disneyland soon, and you’re probably feeling a little responsible. After all, you are now both the mom, the dad, and the grandma, all rolled into one. Remember when your mother had a similar role, and how well she played it?
I have other things to say but I’m too tired to say them.
Goodnight, dear friend
***
This time it’s eight thirty on Thursday evening and I’m tired again, so I’m gonna end this soon. Does it seem like thirty something years has passed since we dated? It doesn’t to me. I do want to reemphasize that you shouldn’t worry about sending me notes from California on that little phone of yours. Just a goodnight, or great day, or went to the beach, or something like that. I’m happy to be patient while you’re down there, and I’ll keep feeding “stuff” to you on a daily basis.
We’re getting to that stage in our lives where we are grandma and grandpa. It’s fun but it’s a responsibility at the same time. It’s a little more work in some ways.
And finally Callii, I wish I could go with you. What great fun it would be. I love your eyes, I love your nose, I love your hair, I love your face, I love your body, I love your sense of humor and I love your zest for life. So have a good time and I’ll write you every day.
Have fun girlfriend, Levi
P.S. By the time I read your reply you’ll probably be on the road to LA, but reply anyway.
From Callii Wilson (One hour later)
Wow Guy-Friend. I really enjoyed reading your e-mail. It was worth waiting for. You are so sweet and so upfront about your feelings. I wish I was better at that. I have to say, though, that you scare me a bit. The only other person, in my recent life that said he cared for me was Tom, and you can see where that got him. I haven’t said much as far as he is concerned, but he really did turn me off. When he started
visiting me he was still living with his wife. He said she lived upstairs and he lived down. I guess one day she invited the children over, and then she left with the girls and sent word back that she was moving out, and that was that. We went out two different times and then I ended it. It was all I could do to go on the second date with him. Then he made a big mistake with an aggressive move, and I told him we were done. It was cruel, I know, but I really had no interest in him. It is way different with you, and you know that I mean it. Some things seem similar, (married) but most things are largely different. I would love to talk with you again. When I get back we will get together. It will give me something to look forward to after the vacation. I will keep in touch while I’m gone.
I need to finish getting ready now so I have to end this, but know that I will be thinking of you.
Love ya, the vacation Granny
***
From Levi Stone (Ten minutes later)
Love ya back. More later, Levi
***
From Levi Stone
Jan 7th
Hi traveling Grandma, it’s me again. I will try and feed you e-mails every day this next week for your emotional nourishment, and besides, I get to think of you that way. Be sure and eat your green leafy vegetables. I’ll try to send you a little of that along with the meat and potatoes. I’ll also try to send you a little sugar each day to keep you sweet. I wouldn’t want you to get stale or sour like some other grandmas I may know.
I had to go back to Facebook and steal your picture to place on my new laptop. I hope you don’t mind. You are a bit addicting you know.
I have to tell you something funny. Little Becca, my first grader from Rexburg, got her tongue stuck on a lamp post last weekend, just like in Christmas Story. I would have loved to have been there. The other girls were freaking out. Becca is the tiny one of the three. Now I don’t have any favorites, but if I did have a favorite she might be the one. She is a tiny little girl with a loud voice and an attitude. She is also somewhat affectionate to her grandpa. Her mother and Mary both think she looks like my mom—I guess.
An old friend just shot me an e-mail and told me how intriguing the writing was on the back of my new book. He sounds like he’s gotten into it so far, but I haven’t had much feedback on the book from most others yet—the holidays are a busy time. (But I love that you loved it.) You asked if my wife appreciates my “talent”. About half way through the book she said, “I’m not sure you should put a question mark here.” And then she said, “I found a spelling error. I should have marked it. I can’t remember what it was.” And then when she finished the book she said, “That ending is too scary for my grandkids. I can’t let them read that!” And that was it, total feedback from my wife of thirty five years. It didn’t affect me much—I pretty much expect it at this point. Maybe after thirty five years of marriage most women would act that way, though I would certainly hope not.
Speaking of Mary, she came home in a nasty mood tonight—bad for me, good for you. She gave me a tongue lashing for leaving the door open in the garage. (The little door in the back.) She doesn’t want cats in there, and it didn’t help that her mom and dad came today and left two chairs in there. Anyway, she’s in the bedroom with the door sealed shut again. I’m out here watching the ballgame—same old. Maybe after the game I’ll drop down the hill and get some fast-food. Wanna come?
So, on to a happier note, I was thinking about what you said about working again, and I thought, Callii should get a part time job. Working just two or three days a week might be perfect for you. It was just a thought. I know how much you love to be home.
I find it funny that we’re both bored right now. I just imagine that you get bored easily. After all, you are the sparkling little party girl. And me, I’ve always been a bit boring, but I still like to have something to do. Just think, you could drag me along to all the fun places you go, and Anne could come too. But mostly we could just stay home. That’s a nice quiet little thought.
Well, right now it’s seven forty five, Idaho time, and you’re probably about two or three hours from Disneyland right now. I wonder who’s in the car with you besides Mattie. I would think her mother and the baby. Did they even come? Anyway, I’m thinking of you always. I hope you have a great time. Be a wonderful grandma and don’t bother worrying about me. I’ll be here when you get back, but in the meantime I’ll keep feeding you daily e-mails. Say your prayers and be the good woman that I know you are.
Your Disney pen pal, Levi
P.S. Do any of your boys or their wives have any clue that you e-mail old friends—or not? I would like to know that, just out of curiosity. See if you can find time to peck it out on that little phone of yours, but not tonight, you’re too tired. Good night grandma Callii. Your good friend, Levi
***
From Levi Stone
Jan 8th
Well, I had a dream about you last night. (Not like you think—but that would have been great too.) I dreamed that I went to a party at your house in Rexburg, but it turned out to be your mother’s house, and like most dreams it was kind of odd. We talked briefly. You had a little girl with you and you wandered off quickly to mingle with others. Mary and two others were with me, I can’t remember who they were. We were driving the old Ford Falcon Station Wagon that we drove in high school, our backup car.
The back of the home was wide open with several different levels exposed to the great outdoors. People were mixing and laughing. Your mother was there, she was tall with gray hair and a sister or two was there with her. You eventually left the party on the lower level that turned off to a street. You were with a man. I only saw you both from the back. You were you, and the guy was kind of a wide body with a full head of dark hair. I went back in and the party was virtually over. I spoke with your mother in the kitchen. Then my buddy, whoever he was, and I realized that Mary and my other friend had driven off, and we didn’t know where or why. We wandered the sidewalks looking for them. They finally picked us up and we drove off into Rexburg. And that was the end. Like most dreams, there was no rhyme or reason. I can’t remember the last time I remembered a dream.
I got up in the middle of the night again and wrote for two hours. It was actually great. My mind was clear and I was able to edit twenty five pages of Hollow Chill. Now that I have a computer I can finally work on it again. Then I went back to bed for several hours. Mary got up early this morning and disappeared. The car is gone and I have no idea where she went. It looks like I have a Saturday on my own for a change. I think I really ticked her off about a week ago when during an argument I called her a shrew. The truth hurts, but that’s life at my house. Lexi is at Grandma Bonnie’s today, and that’s different for a change. We’ll probably get her back tonight.
And you’re in Disneyland. I’m so jealous. This time of year is really gray in Idaho. Just thinking of Disneyland is fun, and being able to think of you at the same time makes it even better. What fun you must be having.
Well, my sister Sherry just called. She wanted me to invest 3k for her and turn it into 10k in the next two years. She’s going to pay 5k for Disneyland rooms for her and her entire family of thirty in an expensive hotel. I can only imagine what that place is like. It’s probably the Disneyland hotel itself. Anyway, I told her I was a terrible investor and could lose her money just as well as the next guy. I also told her that I wasn’t a one armed bandit.
Sherry has been on the run the last few years. By that I mean she’s been extremely busy. She’ll probably be released from her major church job in March. She and her husband have also been tending her daughter’s twin boys, twelve hour days, for several years now. Her daughter just graduated from nursing school, but now she’ll probably go to work. Does this situation remind you of anyone you know? Sherry’s having troubles with Joe, but that’s a whole other story. I brought your name up to her. She knows who you are, but that’s all. She knows you as Callii Wilson. She didn’t know your maiden name was Von Rothstein. I told her that you and
I were talking on the internet a little, nothing more. She told me that she’s ready to die and be done with everything. It shocked me, but then I told her I wanted a new grandma. We went that far. But just so you know, she is my confidant. I don’t share with many others.
I just had supper. I have this thing for tomato soup lately. I had grilled tuna with it and I’m satisfied. Let me tell you two good places for you to eat while you’re at Disneyland. Mimi’s cafe and a family cafe right next to it, called Mili’s, are both good. We ate at Mimi’s. The prices were normal and the food was good. I wandered next door and viewed the menu on Mili’s door. The prices were reasonable there too.
I just got on weather.com and searched Anaheim. You’ll be happy to know that today will be your coldest day of the week with a high of 44. Tomorrow you’ll hit 57 and it will be in the sixties and sunny the rest of the week.
I hope you and yours are getting along fabulously. I wish I was there.
Well foxy grandma, I guess I’ll send this off for today. It’s seven o’clock here and six o’clock there. You’re probably winding down for the day and finding a place to eat about now. Have fun. The sun will come out tomorrow.
Your friend always, Levi
I’ll be thinking of you.
***
From Levi Stone
Jan 9th
Hi sweet grandma. I have a feeling that your phone is on the blink or something so I won’t write much unless I hear from you. I find it crazy that I’m already withdrawing from you and going into wait-it-out mode until you return. I hope things are going well. I’m envious of you and worry for you at the same time. I’m envious because you’re in Disneyland with your kids, and I worry because of the responsibilities you hold as head of the family. I know that Mattie is a concern, too. A little advice, don’t try to do too much and just have fun. I wish I was there.
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