It was a quiet drive to the hospital. Chelsie had called Rosa to tell her the news, and Rosa shrieked with joyous gratitude. Little Sam would be reunited with his father soon.
Chelsie was trying to prepare for her own reunion with Noah Hayes. What could she possibly say to him?
Oh, hey. Sorry about that whole multiple gunshot wound thing. My ex gets a little crazy sometimes. Don’t worry – he’s dead now.
Hey, Noah. I heard you might never be able to play guitar again or gain feeling in your arm. Kinda my fault. So sorry.
Hi, there. You sorta confessed your love to me and then almost died. I feel like this complicates our friendship a little.
Chelsie wrung her sweaty palms together and tapped her foot against the floor of the passenger seat. The radio played at a low volume, serenading them with the vocal talents of Stevie Nicks. When they arrived at the hospital, Chelsie felt her heart beating in her throat. She was anxious, nervous, and eternally grateful. She was also teetering on the edge of an impetuous breakdown. It was a complex mix of emotions.
“Are you ready?” Lisa turned the engine off as they sat in the parking garage. An eerie silence swept over them. “I can stay in the waiting room if you want some private time with Noah.”
Chelsie found herself nodding. “I think I would… if that’s okay.”
“Whatever you need, Chels. I’m here for you.”
The walk down the white corridor seemed long and foggy. Her feet were heavy, as if she were trudging through wet sand. Noah’s room appeared before her and Chelsie glanced down at the sticker on the front of her shirt that read ‘Visitor’. She gulped. Then she knocked.
“Come in.”
That voice. Oh, that voice.
Chelsie turned the handle and the door cracked open. Her steps inside the room were hesitant and guilty. She swallowed back her reservations and walked fully inside, her eyes landing on Noah. He was connected to IVs and monitors that beeped and buzzed. He was lying partially upright in the narrow hospital bed.
His eyes flickered with recognition when he saw her. “Chelsie.”
She was torn between keeping her feet frozen to the ground and dashing over to him like a star-crossed lover.
“I didn’t know if I’d ever see you again,” she whispered. Her admission almost gutted her. Chelsie tried to keep the tears at bay, but her lip quivered in betrayal.
Noah’s trademark smirk danced across his face. “You can’t get rid of me that easily.”
Chelsie’s feet carried her across the room. She dropped to her knees at his bedside, cradling his hand in her palms and pressing it to her forehead. She squeezed her eyes shut and ugly cried until she felt his hand break free to tangle in her hair.
“Don’t cry, Combs,” Noah said, running his fingers along her scalp. “I’m right here.”
His voice was low and scratchy, and it tickled her insides. Chelsie sniffed and wiped her eyes. “You’re not dead,” she croaked out.
“Pfft. From multiple gunshot wounds? I assure you my death will be much cooler,” he joked.
Chelsie let a smile slip, but then it faded. “I’m sorry, Noah. I’m am so sorry. You didn’t deserve any of this.”
Noah forced her to look up at him. “Neither did you,” he said.
Chelsie took a moment to drink him in, from his messy hair to his bloodshot eyes. He looked tired and worn, but he was still Noah. And he was alive.
“He’s dead, you know,” Chelsie told him. “Ian. He didn’t make it.”
“Are you okay?”
Chelsie was startled by the question. “I’m ecstatic. Relieved.”
“I guess it’s over then,” Noah replied. “You’re finally free.”
Chelsie nibbled on the inner lining of her cheek. Was she, though? Was she… free? Her experiences with Ian forever changed her as a person. Her life would never be the same because of him. Maybe, even in death, he would still hold onto her with a merciless, unforgiving grip. When she closed her eyes, he would be there laughing at her. Mocking her. Squeezing his cold, dead fingers around her neck.
No. She would never be free.
Chelsie did not relay her thoughts to Noah. She nodded and forced out the faintest of smiles.
“I’m glad you’re okay,” Noah said.
Their eyes were locked again. Chelsie flashed back to the alleyway and recalled the look in Noah’s eyes after he had just been shot. Confusion. Incredulous disbelief.
“Because I’m in love with her.”
His confession echoed through her, forcing her breath to hitch in her throat. Chelsie had replayed those words a thousand times since they had reached her ears, but not with him so close. “Did you mean it?” The words escaped her mouth before Chelsie could stop them. She watched his facial expressions carefully. The slight twitch of his jaw. A single blink. His tongue poking out to moisten his dry lips.
“Mean what?”
He knew what. Did he want her to say it? “Noah…”
Noah shifted on the bed and looked away. “I’m sorry. I’m not sure what you’re referring to.”
Chelsie’s brow furrowed. “In the alley,” she explained. “Right before… you know…” She couldn’t bring herself to say the words.
Noah hesitated, parting his lips and then closing them. He looked back at Chelsie. “I can’t remember. Everything is such a blur.”
Don’t you lie to me, Noah Hayes. Chelsie’s jaw clenched as she nodded her head in acceptance. It was too much. It was too soon.
“Don’t worry about it,” she told him, forcing a smile through her tears. “It’s not important.”
Except… it was everything.
21 Chapter Twenty-One
Two weeks had passed. Chelsie was propped in front of the television on Lisa’s couch with a tub of peanut butter fudge ice cream in her hands. Lisa sat beside her, flipping through the new Netflix releases and texting Miles.
“I don’t understand men,” Lisa said with exasperation. “They are so hot and cold – one minute their entire universe revolves around you, and then the next day they can’t even text you back.”
Chelsie wiped at the ice cream dribbling down her chin. “You know how Miles is,” she shrugged.
“Disinterested?” Lisa pouted. She tossed her phone onto the couch cushion between them.
“No, Lis. He’s flaky… distracted. Busy. You know, doing famous people stuff.”
Lisa clucked her tongue. “Noah’s never too busy for you. And you’re not even his girlfriend.”
Her heart fluttered at the sound of his name. “Noah’s… different.” Chelsie handed the pint of frozen dessert to her friend. “You need this more than I do,” she said with a sympathetic smile.
Lisa snatched it up without hesitation. “Do you think now that it’s over between you and Devon… something might happen with Noah? The chemistry you two have is undeniable.”
A warmth crept up in Chelsie’s belly and she squirmed in her seat. The thought had been weighing on her mind. There were moments when she fantasized about barreling through Noah’s front door and leaping into his arms. She wondered how it would feel to give in. But then the logical part of her brain reminded her that Noah was still recovering from near-fatal gunshot wounds he received because of her. It was her past – her baggage. Chelsie was the reason he was temporarily wheelchair-bound and had little feeling in his left arm. She was a tornado of darkness and bad luck. Her own questionable choices led to Noah’s life being forever changed. The guilt and self-loathing had been keeping her away. “Oh, I don’t know about that. I think it’s better if I just stay single for a while.”
Lisa popped the lid on the ice cream tub and rose from her seat. “I hear you. Can I get you anything?”
Chelsie slunk back against the couch. “A job. A shiny, new savings account full of unspent money. Assurance that I’m not actually back at square one after all my hard work.”
“Oh, Chels. You’ll get back on your feet soon.”
Chelsie sighe
d. This was her home for the time being. She had broken things off with Devon shortly after visiting Noah at the hospital. Chelsie had stopped at the police station to discuss the case with Detective Brennan. She had finally been able to compose herself with grace and a clear head. The detective had thanked her for coming by, and considered the case closed. That dark chapter of her life was over.
Chelsie knew in her heart there was another chapter that needed closing.
“I had a feeling you’d be stopping by,” Devon had said after discovering her standing in his doorway that afternoon.
Chelsie had entered the condo, fidgeting with the sleeves of her fleece jacket. “Sorry to show up unannounced,” she had replied.
“I mean, you do live here.”
Chelsie recalled looking around and basking in the unfamiliarity of it all. Devon’s condo had never felt like home. There was no warmth or laughter or nostalgic memories. There were no feminine touches or any trace of Chelsie’s occupancy, save for a closet filled with her clothes, and her toothbrush on the sink. There were no photos adorning the walls or canvas art pieces they had lovingly picked out together. Perhaps, that was her own fault. Perhaps, Noah Hayes had held her heart long before she’d even realized she’d given it to him.
On the flip side – it made everything so much easier.
“It’s over, Devon,” Chelsie had proclaimed, dropping her arms at her sides with a heavy sigh. Months of stress, anxiety, and indecisiveness had escaped her in that moment. It was the right thing to do. It was a long time coming.
There had been no noticeable reaction from Devon during the few seconds of silence that had passed between them. No tensing of his jaw or stiffening of his limbs. Chelsie had watched for a flicker of sadness or regret in his eyes, but there was nothing.
“Yeah,” he had said, leaning against the back of the couch. “I guess it is.”
“I’ll find a way to pay you back for the car.”
“No. It doesn’t matter,” he had said flatly. “None of it matters.”
That had been it. Chelsie’s whirlwind romance with Devon Sawyer had come to an end. Even though Chelsie knew it was for the best, she couldn’t help but reflect on their fonder memories together. It had all felt so right in the beginning – they had been filled with infatuation and high hopes. That’s how it always began, right? Chelsie knew their relationship wouldn’t be easy due to Devon’s notoriety.
But she had never anticipated Noah Hayes.
Chelsie’s thoughts were interrupted when Lisa strolled back into the room.
“Do you think Miles is cheating on me?” Lisa wondered.
Chelsie blinked. “W – What? Cheating on you?”
Lisa crossed her arms over her chest and pursed her lips together. “There have been signs. He’s always flirting with other women and checking them out in front of me. Then he will go days without texting me back. Sometimes he’s vague about where he’s been or what he’s been doing.”
Chelsie’s face flushed with shame. She had suspected Miles was cheating on Lisa for months and she hadn’t said a word to her friend. “Lisa… I – I should probably tell you something.”
Lisa’s eyes widened and her fiery red curls bounced around her as she stormed over to the couch. “Tell me what?” she asked in a panic.
“I mean, I don’t have any concrete evidence, but there was something… suspicious,” Chelsie said. “It was my last day at the Pit. I had just told Jerry I quit and when I started leaving, I ran into Miles. He was there with another woman.”
Lisa looked as if she’d been slapped.
Chelsie continued speaking, feeling flustered and guilty. “I didn’t want to say anything without proof. You were so happy, Lis. I didn’t see anything sexual going on between them – I suppose it could have been innocent. A – And then the Grammy’s happened and I didn’t want you to miss out on such an iconic event. You deserved to be there…”
“I’m such a fool,” Lisa whispered, tears brimming in her eyes. She looked down at the llama slippers on her feet, then returned her gaze to Chelsie. “I trusted you. I trusted you to have my back.”
Chelsie’s cheeks grew hot and she stood up to face her friend. She reached for her hand, but Lisa pulled away. “Lisa, please. I never meant to hurt you. It was the opposite – I was trying to protect you.”
“I don’t need your protection. I need your friendship and your loyalty.” Lisa shook her head in disappointment, her expression twisted with anger and disdain. “You betrayed me.”
Chelsie’s eyes watered. Could she ever do anything right? How could one person make such a mess of everything? “I’m so sorry, Lis. I screwed up.”
“Yeah,” Lisa agreed, stepping away from Chelsie and turning on her heel. “You’re good at that.”
Chelsie flinched as the bedroom door slammed shut. She collapsed back onto the couch, burying her face into her hands. It was true. She was a bona fide genius when it came to dissolution and disappointment. She had a magical way of sabotaging relationships and bringing chaos down upon those she loved.
Noah’s face popped in her mind. He had received the shittiest end of her destruction stick. Chelsie had managed to exacerbate his friendship with Devon, thus triggering Noah’s departure from the band and a thriving musical career. She had ruined any possible romance between Noah and Beth. And how could anyone forget how she had inadvertently caused him to be shot – twice – by her psychotic ex-boyfriend? She almost killed him.
Chelsie was poison.
No wonder Noah couldn’t admit to his love confession. How could he possibly love her?
Chelsie’s phone began to vibrate in her pocket and Noah’s name lit up the screen – it was almost as if he had known she was thinking about him.
“Hello?”
“Hey, Combs. It’s great to hear your voice.”
She couldn’t help the smile that crept across her face. Chelsie wiped her nose and cleared her throat. “How are you?”
“Oh, you know,” he sighed. “Hanging in there. Glad to be home.”
“I’m so glad you’re home,” she agreed. Chelsie felt a pang of guilt in the pit of her stomach. She had only visited him once in the last two weeks, right after Noah had been released from the hospital. Rosa had a background in nursing and seemed to be holding down the fort just fine. Chelsie had helped Noah settle in and had enjoyed a Paw Patrol marathon with Sam. But when they had insisted that she stay for dinner that night, Chelsie declined. She had wanted to stay – more than anything. But seeing Noah sitting in his wheelchair, unable to play on the floor with his son or cook his own meal… it was heartbreaking. She had felt wholeheartedly responsible. They had stayed connected with the occasional phone call, but Chelsie thought keeping her distance was for the best.
“I’m not gonna lie… I miss you,” Noah told her after a few moments of silence had passed.
The guilt in Chelsie’s belly turned into a kaleidoscope of butterflies. “I – I miss you, too, Noah. I’m sorry I haven’t been over to see you.”
“Me, too,” he said.
She gulped. “It’s not that I don’t want to…”
“You feel responsible,” Noah finished. “You think you’re the reason I was shot.”
How did he do that? How was he always able to strip down her walls and access her tormented center? “Noah… I’m so sorry.”
“Stop being sorry.” Noah’s tone was adamant and firm. “You’re not responsible for what happened to me. You’re not responsible for what happened to you. You need to get the hell away from that toxic mindset and realize that sometimes bad shit just happens. Bad people happen. It’s not your fault.”
Chelsie absorbed his words with careful consideration. Her mother had always told her that her self-deprecating thoughts would be the end of her someday. “You’re right,” she conceded. “I’m just making everything worse. When can I see you?”
Noah seemed to hesitate, thrown off by her acquiescence. “Oh… well, I’m free right now.�
�
It was Chelsie’s turn to be thrown off. Her insides hummed with a slow burn of anticipation. She glanced at the time on her phone – it was a few minutes after eight o’clock. If she hurried, she could tuck Sam into bed. “Okay,” she said.
“Really?” Noah sounded surprised. Hopeful.
“Is that okay?”
“Of course,” he said.
There was a tension between them. It was thick. It was heavy. It was full of unspoken words, months of pent up feelings, and something so powerful it made Chelsie’s hand start to tremble as she held the phone to her ear. “I’ll see you soon.”
“See you.”
The call disconnected and Chelsie raised a hand to her heart. It was thumping wildly beneath her pink hoodie. She squeezed the fabric between her fingers and sucked in a nervous breath.
She felt like a frumpy mess in her hoodie and Target leggings. Her hair was thrown up into a sloppy bun and yesterday’s mascara still adorned her eyelashes. Chelsie jumped off the couch and stepped into the room adjacent to Lisa’s, careful not to disturb her friend. She changed into a pair of skinny jeans and threw on a tank top and cardigan. She spritzed her favorite perfume onto her pulse points and pulled her hair down, untangling the golden strands with her fingertips. Chelsie touched up her mascara and reached for her blush, only to realize her cheeks were naturally flushed pink. She touched the rosy stains on her face, cursing herself for feeling like a giddy junior-high girl with her first crush.
“It’s just Noah,” she said to herself, studying her reflection in the mirror. Chelsie gulped back a lump in her throat and flattened out the wrinkles in her cardigan. She wondered why she even cared about her appearance. Noah was used to seeing her in sweatpants and no makeup. Why did this visit feel so… different?
Because it was different. Everything had changed in that alleyway.
Chelsie stepped out of Lisa’s apartment complex, biting her lip at the sight of the freezing rain. The temperature had warmed over the past couple of weeks and the snow had turned into icy droplets. She pulled her hood up over her head and made a mad dash to the BMW Devon had bought for her.
Aria (Duet Series Book 1) Page 26
