“Jah,” Sawyer agreed, briefly glancing over his shoulder in the direction she was pointing, but he only had eyes for her.
He pulled a tall piece of grass and used the tip of it to tickle Hannah’s ear, causing her to giggle and swat it away. When she did, he clasped her hand, caressing her silky skin with his thumb as he spoke.
“So, you knew about John and Doris courting, too?”
“I did,” she said. “Although the wedding news is a big surprise.”
“Do you think it’s too soon?” Sawyer had to know.
“Ordinarily, I might say jah, but John made a gut case for their getting married sooner rather than later. They are of a mature age, they’re like-minded in important matters, such as family and beliefs, and they genuinely care for one another. But even if all that weren’t true, who am I to judge what the Lord provides for someone else?”
Sawyer felt his mouth go dry, and he wiped the corner of his lips. “I agree,” he concluded solemnly. “I couldn’t have said it better myself.”
She gave his hand a little tug before mentioning, “We should go. It’s getting late.”
But it’s not too late, he said to himself, his thoughts elsewhere. Now that he had confirmed Hannah wasn’t opposed to a brief courtship, he felt encouraged about asking her to become his wife. But first, knowing Hannah wouldn’t leave her grandfather, Sawyer needed to come up with a plan to convince him the move to Ohio would benefit him, too. He mulled over his options as they journeyed to gather the children.
“How were your visits?” he asked them.
“We had a wunderbaar time with our friends,” Samuel said, and Simon agreed.
“I had a wunderbaar time with my friend, too,” Sarah claimed.
“How about that—so did I!” Sawyer trumpeted.
“Me, too,” Hannah stated, giving Sawyer a gentle nudge. “I’m glad the Lord provided us all with such special friends.”
* * *
“I’ll see you bright and early tomorrow morning, Gott willing,” Hannah called from the porch as the buggy pulled away.
Before she crossed the threshold to the house, she sensed something was different, the same way she could perceive when a storm was about to break. My groossdaadi is back, she thought.
Sure enough, a voice from the dim parlor yapped, “While you’ve been gallivanting who knows where, I’ve been sitting here hungry. After such a long trip, this is the wilkom I receive in my own home?”
Hannah turned on the gas lamp and faced him directly. She knew it was futile to remind him he wasn’t expected until Monday, and she doubted Eve would have sent him off without enough food to feed him for a week.
“I’m sorry. I was visiting Doris Hooley. I will prepare your supper now.”
“And ruin my sleep by eating so late?” he grumbled. “Neh, don’t bother. I am going to bed.”
Hannah bit her lip, but the tears came anyway. Try as she did to hold on to every good memory of the blessed weekend she had just experienced, she was crushed by the reality that it was undeniably over. Soon her relationship with Sawyer and the children would be over, too, now that John’s leg had healed and he no longer needed Sawyer’s help. She thought she’d be content to experience just a fraction of what it would be like to be married with children—but instead, it had made her all the more aware of how wonderful it was. It had increased her longing tenfold.
She sat on the sofa a long while, sobbing into her arm, and she might have spent the night like that, were it not for a brilliant flash of lightning illuminating the window beside her. She leaped to her feet and moved to sit in her grandfather’s chair beneath the lamp. She hadn’t noticed it before, but he must have placed an envelope on the end table. Hannah, it was labeled in Eve’s flowery penmanship. Sniffling, she tore it open.
“Dearest Hannah,” it began. “Aren’t the rocking chair, chest of drawers and cradle Grandfather made for us a most handsome set? We are so grateful.”
Hannah was surprised. She knew her grandfather had spent an unusually long time working on the Stolzfuses’ furniture, but she had no idea he was really working on an additional set. He must have been paying attention to her during mealtimes when she told him about Eve being with child after all. She read on:
What a surprise it was to have Grandfather show up here unannounced, ranting about Menno paying for his buggy repairs. It took some convincing before he believed we didn’t know anything about the matter, and we imagine the church was responsible for this generous act of charity. (Had we known, we would have contributed; in the future, you must share your struggles with us. We will find a way to help that doesn’t offend Grandfather’s sense of responsibility.)
Despite his antics, I was—and I write this sincerely—very glad to see him, because I’ve missed him in his own way, although I would have been much gladder if you had been present, as well. You see, while I’ve written that there is nothing like the bond between a mother and child, or between a husband and wife, there’s also nothing like the love between sisters.
As your sister, in response to what you wrote in your last letter, please allow me to express my advice and my hopes for you. By now, your Sawyer Plank may have made—should have made—his intentions toward you clear. When a man is interested in a woman, there should be no guessing. His actions and his words should unequivocally reflect the intentions of his heart. There should be no guessing, no interpreting, no doubting how he considers you. It should be clear in everything he does and says. (Likewise, the same is true of a woman’s consideration for a man.)
If that is the case with Sawyer, then I will pray God will somehow work a way to allow you more than just a “brief season” of sharing your mutual love. I want this for you as much as you want it for yourself, dear sister.
Your loving Eve
Hannah was really bawling now, but her tears were...not joyful, exactly, but hopeful. She hoped to marry Sawyer more than she’d ever hoped for anything in her life, and she decided if he asked her to become his wife, she’d agree, no matter what her grandfather wanted. She’d do everything she could to persuade him to accompany her, but if he refused, that was his decision to make, not her fault to bear.
A dull roll of thunder sounded in the distance as she climbed the stairs. Lord, she prayed beside her bed, thank You for my sister, Eve. Please keep her and the bobbel healthy. Thank You for bringing Groossdaadi home safely. And if there is any possible way Sawyer and I might share a future together, please move Heaven and earth so it may come to pass.
* * *
After he’d tucked the children into bed, Sawyer scribbled a quick letter to Gertrude:
Dear Gertrude,
I trust this letter finds you and Kathryn’s household healthy? I especially pray for the strength and size of the baby.
We’re grateful the Lord has healed John’s leg, and the children and I will return to Ohio on Monday, God willing.
A little birdie told me a young suitor named Seth might have captured your attention, which is certainly understandable at your age, but I hope he will not keep you from returning to Blue Hill soon? The children have much to tell you, and so do I. (I hope there will be surprising new developments to report.)
Remember me to Kathryn and her family.
Your brother, Sawyer
After he sealed the note into an envelope, Sawyer turned in to his room for the night. Kneeling beside his bed, he prayed, Lord, You have indeed given me someone very special in Hannah, just as you did with Eliza. Now I ask that Hannah’s groossdaadi will be willing to allow her to marry me. And I ask for Your guidance in knowing how to approach him about it so the move is acceptable to him.
As he turned down the lamp, Sawyer imagined the daadi haus he owned. Not much smaller than Albert’s own home, it would offer Albert all the privacy and independence he wanted, yet would sti
ll allow Sawyer and Hannah to check in on him as needed. But, although older Amish in-laws frequently lived in such houses, Sawyer knew Albert would see it as charity. That man had no sense of humility or gratitude.
Sawyer punched his pillow and suddenly recalled John’s words: it’s humbling to have another man do your work for you. Perhaps that was how Hannah’s grandfather felt. Didn’t he say his affections couldn’t be bought? It dawned on Sawyer that he shouldn’t have tried to give him gifts. He should have valued the contributions Albert could make.
He immediately knew what the solution to his dilemma was: he would ask Albert to work in his shop. The man’s hearing was gone, but his craftsmanship was still keener than most, and Sawyer desperately needed the help. He felt convinced that once her grandfather had a stake in moving to Ohio, nothing would stand in the way of Sawyer and Hannah becoming husband and wife.
Chapter Thirteen
Hannah woke early to prepare her grandfather a bigger breakfast than usual.
“I found Eve’s letter,” she mouthed. “She was very pleased with the furniture.”
“Bah,” he muttered, and she dared not ask him any other questions about his visit. For now, there was no need to say anything about the buggy repairs, either.
“That storm cooled things off last night, but it’s shaping up to be hot again,” she said, but he wasn’t watching her lips, so she gave up conversing with him and set about making his dinner instead.
“Your eyes are...overcast,” Sawyer stated when he greeted her in her classroom. “Did the storm keep you up last night?”
“Jah. We’re probably in for some more tonight. The incoming autumn air makes for an unstable atmosphere.”
“I couldn’t sleep for imagining you last night, all alone,” Sawyer said. Almost immediately, he turned a deep shade of crimson. “I mean, because I know how electrical storms rattle you so. At least tonight your groossdaadi will be home.”
“Actually, he is already home. I was surprised to find he’d arrived while I was out visiting.”
“Oh,” Sawyer said somberly. “Did he confirm that Menno paid for his buggy repairs?”
Hannah giggled. “Neh, but according to a letter my sister, Eve, sent me, he must have put on quite a display interrogating them. They finally persuaded him they knew nothing about it.”
“I see. So, is he well rested from his journey?”
“Jah, but why would you ask abo—”
“I knew I could find you here,” Doris announced. “The two of you are always clucking away like hens. If I didn’t know better, I’d think it was you who were betrothed!”
Hannah noticed Sawyer’s jaw tense.
“What may we do for you?” she asked impatiently.
“I wanted to inquire if Sawyer will be bringing his younger sister to the wedding as well as the kinner. I heard from John she might still be in Indiana. My understanding is your eldest sister and her family most likely won’t be able to attend, due to her weakened condition?”
Sawyer rubbed his forehead as if he had a headache. “I’m not certain, Doris,” he said with a sigh. “Can’t the answer wait a bit? We’ll be heading home in a week and I can send John a letter once I’ve assessed the situation then, okay?”
“Of course,” Doris gushed. “I only want them to know they’re all invited.”
“You’re leaving in a week?” Hannah repeated, her heart pounding in her ears. “I knew John’s leg had healed, but I thought you’d at least stay through the end of harvest.”
“I was going to talk privately to you about that,” Sawyer murmured quietly. Then, glancing at Doris, who was still hovering within earshot, he quickly added, “Because I wanted to prepare the kinner to say their farewells.”
Hannah’s mind whirled. Sawyer was leaving, just like that, as if their time together—especially these last few days—had meant nothing to him. And all he cared about was how his children felt about saying goodbye to her as their nanny, not how he felt about their parting. Not how she felt about it. She’d thought he valued the confidences they shared. She’d believed he saw her as strong and beautiful. That he considered her special as a woman—as “every bit a woman.” The way he held her hand...the way he kissed her hand...the way he asked her opinion about Doris and John getting married so soon... She thought it was all leading up to one thing. What else was she to think?
Hannah recalled what Eve had written in her letter about how a man’s actions and words should unequivocally reflect the intentions of his heart. Until that moment, Hannah had believed that everything Sawyer said, no matter how awkwardly it may have been expressed, reflected his true intentions. But his actions showed her where his heart was: in Blue Hill, Ohio. Now that the opportunity presented itself, he couldn’t say his goodbyes quickly enough.
“Excuse me,” someone said from the doorway. “May I speak with Hannah?”
“Jacob,” Hannah acknowledged. “I’m sorry, but school is about to begin and I need a moment to prepare. If you’re here about the arrangement we discussed, I’d be pleased to care for your household when my teaching assignment ends.”
“Denki, Hannah,” Jacob replied. “Miriam will be thrilled to hear this news, and so will Abigail.”
“It’s my pleasure. Now, everyone, please scoot. I have sums to prepare.”
She turned her back before her eyes overflowed with the tears that had been gathering there.
* * *
Sawyer snapped the reins, and the horse took off. Hannah’s disappointment was nearly tangible. He hadn’t meant to spill the news he was leaving like that. His intention was to propose to Hannah once he’d spoken to her grandfather. Then they could work out the details together concerning the wedding and relocating. He didn’t think about what he’d said before he said it—he just wanted to give a quick answer so Doris would leave. If she weren’t always butting in, this never would have happened.
He had hoped to wait until Hannah’s grandfather was rested from his trip and in a fairly reasonable mood. But now, as the horse trotted along, Sawyer realized he had to act with extreme urgency, and he redirected the animal toward Hannah’s home.
He expected to find Albert in his workshop, and he tried to think of how he could enter without startling him. But when he arrived, Hannah’s grandfather was sitting on the top step of the porch, sipping coffee as if he’d been expecting Sawyer all along.
“Guder mariye,” Sawyer said when he positioned himself at the bottom landing, where his mouth was nearly at the same height as Albert’s eyes.
The grandfather nodded but didn’t reply.
“I’ll be brief,” he mouthed carefully. “I want to marry Hannah.”
No sooner had the words left his mouth than the old man shook his head.
“Neh,” he uttered. “Neh.”
Sawyer wasn’t dissuaded. “I want her to move to Ohio with me. I want you to come, too. I have a daadi haus for you to live in. I need another man in my shop. It isn’t charity—I’ve seen your work. I need someone like you on my crew.”
“This is my home. That is my shop.” The man gestured, shouting. “Hannah is my granddaughter.”
“I care for Hannah and so do my kinner,” Sawyer shouted back. He wanted the grandfather to see the intensity in his features, even if he couldn’t hear it in the volume of his voice. “I want to be her husband and for her to be my wife.”
“Neh, never!” her grandfather cried.
Sawyer’s expression crumbled, but if there was one thing he resolved, it was that he wouldn’t break down in front of Albert Lantz.
“But why not?” he questioned. “Why not?”
The grandfather stood and tossed the remains of his coffee cup onto the potted Russian sage, the hot spray narrowly missing Sawyer’s shoulder.
“Never,” he repeated evenly and
then shuffled into the house, letting the screen door slam behind him.
“Ach!” Sawyer yelled and punched at the air.
When that did nothing to defuse his ire, he kicked the railing. To his astonishment, it splintered and cracked like a toothpick from the force of his fury, dangling crookedly from the side of the porch.
That is how you have trampled my heart, Albert Lantz, he thought as he sped away.
“You’re later than usual,” Jonas remarked when he strode into the barn a few minutes later. “And you look like a raging bull.”
“Don’t start with me,” Sawyer warned. “I need your toolbox. I’ll be back in the fields whenever I get there.”
When he returned to Hannah’s home, her grandfather was already beginning to repair the damage he had done.
Although the words were bitter on his tongue, he mouthed, “I’m sorry.”
The old man nodded and they worked together on the repairs. As Sawyer had already observed from the toys Albert created, he was a skilled carpenter, and the finished result was so seamless, one might have never guessed it had been broken.
“Albert, please,” Sawyer started to say.
“Never means never,” the grandfather replied, and Sawyer knew he meant it, just as definitively as he’d meant it about never doing business with the Schrock family.
Sawyer took hold of his sleeve to get his attention. “Listen, this isn’t about marrying Hannah. It’s about the toys you made. I want to buy them. All of them.”
He would resell them in Ohio. Meanwhile, as he journeyed toward the farm with the dollhouse in the second seat and a box of trains beside him, he took small consolation in knowing the money he paid for the toys would help see Hannah and her grandfather through a few months this winter, God willing.
* * *
“You look awful,” Doris commented at lunchtime. “Are you ill?”
“I feel awful,” Hannah said. Her stomach was doing flips and her head was buzzing, but it was the cavernous ache in her heart that hurt more than anything. She couldn’t bear the thought of facing Sawyer that evening. “I am afraid I need to go home. Would you mind taking over my class and watching the Plank kinner after school?”
Amish Triplets For Christmas (Amish Country Courtship Book 1) Page 17
